Some rural women are reluctant to remarry after their husbands die. Why?

Personal experience: My father was only 40 when he died, and my mother was only 43. At that time, my sister 17 years old, I 15 years old and my brother 1 1 year old. My sister has started working to make money. In the third year of my father's death, someone in my grandmother's family told my grandmother to remarry. After all, she is still young, and her life is only half over.

Until I got married and had a son, a little sister who worked with me said, you don't have a father. How did your mother come over these years, supporting your brother to go to college and building a house for him? Yes! My mother has worked too hard these years. She is both a mother and a father, and keeps the family in good order. In those years after my father died, working was not popular. My mother planted 10 mu of land alone, and the crops were bumper every year. The neighbor next door always praises her and says that your mother is really capable. It is not easy to have a woman these years.

My little sister also said that I have a neighbor about your mother's age. It's not easy for your mother to find him a partner these years, so that he can have someone to discuss. In recent years, I have also had the idea of letting my mother find it. After all, we are all older, and my sister and I are married and have our own family. My younger brother was admitted to the university and the house was built ... When I said this idea in front of my sister and my mother, I had tears in my eyes and said that your mother had been like this all her life and never thought about finding another one. I have arranged three brothers and sisters for you. When your brother and sister get married, I will take care of him with my children, and I will still be healthy. I just live every day of my life by myself, and I don't want to bring any bad negative influence to you three brothers and sisters. Only you three brothers and sisters have a good life. It was the best time of my life.

Yes, the greatest and most selfless thing in the world is the love from parents. They sacrificed too much for our benefit.

There are two main reasons why rural women are unwilling to remarry after their husbands die.

One is the traditional concept. In the countryside, when her husband died, he was called a "widow". As the saying goes, "there is more snow in front of the widow's door." Even if he remarries, he doesn't have a good home and often gets no respect. He always feels inferior among new family members.

It is inseparable from the property that her husband struggles with. When the husband dies, the average wife will certainly inherit the property. But if she remarries, it will often embarrass her parents-in-law and relatives. Many interests cannot be balanced. If she doesn't remarry, she will always be a member of this family and won't be torn.

Some women are afraid of contact with the new environment, and their children will be wronged in that environment, so a large part of them decide not to remarry and live alone until they are old.

Rural women still attach great importance to their reputation. But we know that if a woman's husband dies, she has no obligation to remain a widow. However, we often see that some women don't remarry after their husbands die, and many people have the same doubts as the subject. Why?

Black sister-in-law summarized two reasons for your reference.

Modern people seem to laugh at the mention of feelings. But how can a person have no feelings? If you keep a dog for rabbits, you will still have feelings for a long time, let alone live together.

Emotion, to be exact, will become affection, dependence and habit after a long time. For example, two people know each other's habits and know each other's temper. One will die suddenly, and the other will stay there for a long time.

Why can't you go out? She can't accept living with another person, she doesn't have the courage to know another person, and she can't stand the man around her being a different person.

Another important reason is the affection for this family. Two people who live together create a family together. When a man dies and a woman remarries, this family is gone and disappeared. For some people who are nostalgic for a long time, this is unbearable. They can't and don't want to give up this family.

So some women delay year after year, and after the last person gets used to it, they simply don't remarry.

What do you mean, the conditions are not allowed? In fact, after a man dies, his wife can remarry, and there is no requirement for widowhood. How can you say that the conditions are not allowed? This is not from the legal level, but from the moral and family level.

Some people's children have grown up. Once remarried, their children not only have no father, but also have no mother. Although they can take care of their children after remarriage, they will no longer be around, and some women will be reluctant to give up their children.

What's more, the children are even in high school, and the woman who should marry her daughter-in-law will consider more if she remarries, for example, will it delay the children's study? Will remarriage affect children's marriage?

These problems are all on them, so that they need to consider them comprehensively if they want to remarry. On the other hand, they usually sacrifice remarriage in exchange for a more secure life for their children.

Conclusion: Actually, it's different now. In the past, women were always gossiped about remarriage, but now no one talks about it. If a woman or a man leaves, the difficulties in her life are unimaginable, especially for rural women, who are not only physically but also psychologically tortured.

During the busy farming season, there are some jobs that women cannot do. If she can't do it, she must find someone. She is afraid of others gossiping because she is a widow. Therefore, the life of widowed women is very difficult, and we should understand and support their remarriage. A man is incomplete without a woman, while a woman is the same without a man.

According to the problem, this is the development of the times, and people's pursuit and thinking are changing.

One of the reasons: it is about forty years old.

Women are single, mostly because their husbands have an accident outside and get a lot of compensation. The average man works outside the home for 30,000 to 40,000 a year. These hundreds of thousands of yuan are equivalent to a man's labor income for more than ten years, which is of economic value to his family. Why do women remarry?

Second: if the husband dies of illness, although the family is poor, the family government will have a care policy and live a good life. If a woman thinks her life is not good, why remarry? Either divorce, a woman has a lover in her heart.

Third: Now only one or two children are born, and all the fields in the countryside have been contracted. There are not many children and there is no heavy farm work. Going out to work is also an option. As usual, there is no need to find a stepfather for the child. In the future, the children will have to support their stepfather.

Fourth, the mother's hard work in raising children will make the children more considerate of their mothers when they are older. If they choose to remarry, the children of both parties will ignore the two adults because the farmers are old and have no economic income.

Fifth: women remarry, targeting men who can get money by eating ready-made meals (like teachers); There are also small bosses, individual factory directors and other high-ranking people? In other words: such a man is like an old cow eating young grass, but he looks down on a woman who is married in the countryside, causing a deadlock.

Direct factors: some gay men have bad temper, don't care about others, are greedy and selfish, and bad habits follow, which leads to the decrease of women's happiness in remarriage and affects women's remarriage mood.

In the past, single women were afraid of being harassed by local ruffians and chose to remarry. Now, for safety, they can choose to go out and live a quiet life and meet people they like. Every day is a day. They are all free. Why find a drag?

There are a large number of rural women who really don't want to remarry after their husbands die. Why is this? Let's talk about my personal opinion.

First, it is influenced by traditional ideas. People used to pay attention to marrying a dog to go with it, and marrying a chicken to fly with it. If you marry a man, you are born in his family, and death is his ghost. You can't marry anyone else from the end.

The second is fear of retribution. Like the character Xianglinsao in Lu Xun's works. After her husband died, she dared not remarry. After his death, he was dismembered by two ghosts, divided into two halves to serve two people, and so he stayed together for life and never remarried.

The third is fear of jokes. Rural people are too feudal to talk about sex. Don't get married until your husband is dead, for fear that others will say something indecent and think about those things. Therefore, he would rather endure loneliness than remarry.

Fourth, because children are too young to be taken care of. Or if the child is old and wants to marry a daughter-in-law, the mother should arrange marriage for the child. No longer marry for children.

Fifth, I am afraid to go out and find another one. If I can't do it, I will be kicked out. If you want to go home again, even if the child agrees, I am afraid that the original parents-in-law will not let you. I want to find a home, but I don't even have a home now. I might as well stay at home and not move!

People who don't want to remarry are mainly women in their fifties, because they don't have the capital to remarry, nor do they have the self-power and capital to remarry! Women in rural areas are generally aging rapidly. 50 people entered menopause and began menopause. They changed from a fertile woman to a basically infertile woman. Their physical fitness is getting worse every year. Losing a husband is like cutting off their financial resources. You have no right to remarry. At the age of 50, you have no husband, but you have children. They need you to look after them. You have no choice but to follow them. Even if you have an idea, neither child will agree, because no one wants to raise another old man. If you still have some beauty, and a man likes you and can spend the rest of his life with you without any help, then you can spend your old age with war. We have an example. In their 50 s, regardless of their children's opposition, they lived together for more than ten years. Later, the woman left first and could not enter the ancestral grave. The old man came back with 50 thousand yuan, but the child never accepted it. Later, the village secretary reconciled and was forced to agree. Two years later, he left soon.

Emotion, to be exact, will become affection, dependence and habit after a long time. For example, two people know each other's habits and know each other's temper. One will die suddenly, and the other will stay there for a long time.

Why can't you go out? She can't accept living with another person, she doesn't have the courage to know another person, and she can't stand the man around her being a different person.

Another important reason is the affection for this family. Two people who live together create a family together. When a man dies and a woman remarries, this family is gone and disappeared. For some people who are nostalgic for a long time, this is unbearable. They can't and don't want to give up this family.

Some rural women are reluctant to remarry after their husbands die for the following reasons:

Some couples lead a very interesting life in their marriage during their husbands' lifetime. They never leave each other, support each other, share responsibility, and never blush. It can be said that it is a bubble of mutual affection, and love is stronger than gold for ever! All kinds of emotions before death are engraved in my heart, bit by bit indelible and never fade! I miss my heart, my husband's every move before his death is printed in my mind, and I can't shake it forever! Although death still exists, there is no room for others in my heart.

Some women often get hurt when they meet someone in their first marriage. They live like years, don't know where to go, and live a life inferior to that of livestock. That's emotional! Unfortunately, I don't know what knowledge in life is; Promote women's fear, disgust and indifference to marriage! So women have learned their first lesson and dare not marry again!

There is also for their own children, I don't know how to remarry, and I am afraid that my children will suffer from my stepfather!

These rural women are basically middle-aged women with children.

When asked why she didn't remarry, a middle-aged woman said that it was difficult to remarry at such an age because there were only two kinds of men who needed to find the other half, one was a man whose wife had died, and the other was a divorced man. Both kinds of people are not young, and there are children at home. If you remarry to these two kinds of men's homes, how should your children be arranged? I have to take the children to the man's house, and the children of both sides live together, which will inevitably lead to contradictions. After children have conflicts, it is easy to affect adults. Therefore, they decided not to remarry and not to make their children sad.

Another middle-aged woman said that although my husband died, I now have my own factory in the countryside, with a net income of several hundred thousand a year. I really don't want to marry an ordinary person again. If I remarry to an ordinary person, his income is very low, and I may have to support him. In addition, it is best to let the children agree to remarry. My children don't want me to remarry, and I think I'm old, so it's not so troublesome.

As can be seen from the above cases, it is not that such rural women are unmarried, but there are reasons that bind them. For rural women whose spouses have died, remarriage is entirely up to them. Some farmers think that these women should remarry, because the children will grow up eventually. When children have their own families, these women will seem a little lonely. If men live with them, life will not be lonely.

As for the parents of these women, I still hope they can remarry. what do you think?

Some rural women are unwilling to remarry after their husbands die, and these women are mainly elderly people. When children grow up, they lose their fertility. Even if she can have children, she has become a high-risk pregnant woman. So remarriage means cohabitation, which loses the meaning of having children. I am already a grandmother, and I have a life to rely on and a spirit to rely on. My sexual desire is not as strong as that of young people, and I have lost interest in remarriage!

Because of traditional customs, it is very embarrassing for adult children to go to the next class. Mothers occasionally find sexual partners, and children don't care much, but once they want to remarry, their children will be unhappy, so many mothers who remarry when they are adults are not what their children want! When you are old and need your own children to take care of you, your children will ignore you, even with the law as the background, but after you have bad feelings, there will be no good life!

In view of this, some rural women who have lost their husbands are afraid of being old and helpless, and they don't want to remarry as long as they can live!

It is rare for young women in rural areas not to remarry after the death of their husbands!