Ask for a classic joke in 5 words!

1. It's a big scar when the bowl falls.

2. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage to announce: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang singing and dancing, lift your skull! Creepy! !

3. If a tiger doesn't send a cat, you think I'm dying!

4. When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XXX and said, XX, stand on the wall for me! ~ ~ the whole class is cold!

5. When I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"

6. Me: That's our physics teacher. . .

classmate: what do you teach?

me: chemistry. . .

7. In the Internet cafe, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher!"

8. One person in our dormitory drinks too much, so he has to pee, and then he brings out a cold saying: If he drinks too much, there will be a lot of wine.

9. Buy oranges, boss: one yuan and 51 Jin. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

1. My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor is a color screen. (I originally wanted to say LCD)

11. Junior high school art evening, grab the answering session.

hostess: "attention, everyone, don't grab too fast. When I finished, I started to raise my hand.

Then I started to read the topic and said, "Now open. . 。”

at this time, a contestant rushed to answer.

The host said, "This classmate is a little anxious. I started (shit) in my mouth, so why did you rob me?

12. I heard a MM shouting "Give me a bowl of viper~!"

13. At school

One day, a phone call came to my classmate and handed it to me and said, "Your mother's phone."

As soon as I answered the phone, I casually said, "A man and a woman"

Everyone laughed and I was laughed for four years

14. My classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle shop and threw his hair away: "Boss, two onions don't want rice noodles!" After that, I added: "More rice noodles!" Boss: ". . . . Do you want rice noodles or shallots?

15. Once my classmate's mother called me

I used to say "he's not here", but this time I wanted to say "he's out"

The result was: "he's … gone"

16. gg handed me an sorbet and I bit it and shouted.

17. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

18. Once I patted my dormitory classmate on the stomach, she said loudly, "Don't pat, I have urine in my stomach."

19. In high school, everyone was given a name tag. . Before a check-up, the class teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, put on your bras and come to Zara. . The audience was silent. . .

2. I went home on weekends when I was at school. After dinner, I became addicted to cigarettes and planned to go for a walk under an excuse. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me why I was going. I casually said, "Go for a smoke!" As a result, dad found a pack of 555 from me and gave me a good K.

21. A leader of the Education Bureau inspected the recess. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting "Retreat!"

22. There was a teacher in high school whose surname was Jiang, who looked like Luo Jiaying (who played the Tang Priest on a Chinese Odyssey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question ..."

23. One of my colleagues, when I was driving on the road, I had a flat tire and asked where there was an inflatable one. My colleague said, "There are abortions everywhere in the street!"

24. A teacher probably played mahjong all night. When he saw that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is going to be the farmer today?" Don't wipe the blackboard! "

25. Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure, and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use a soothing treasure?"

26. The teacher left homework, so I copied it from others if I couldn't do it. Then I went to the office to hand in my homework and saw the teacher say, "I've copied it!" "

27. On one occasion, when we traveled to Huangshan Mountain, the tour guide just introduced that the Hundred Steps Ladder was in Liu Xiaoqing <; < Xiaohua > > Attractions. Suddenly a man in our group blurted out, "Director .." Everyone was dizzy.

28. When several female students came to my house to play, I went to get some water. They turned on the DVD player to watch a movie. I heard Cantonese in the back room. Then I shouted to turn down the tone, and the tone was wrong. Suddenly, I was speechless. My face turned red and purple ~ ~ I almost fainted ~

29. I went home with my MM in my high school, and saw a barbecue seller at the school gate. I'm so embarrassed. The most embarrassing thing is that MM then asked me "What is a bullwhip?" I had to answer MM very, very quietly: "A bullwhip is a cow's tail."

3' I want to sing once <; Little girl picking mushrooms > As soon as I came on stage, I sang: Pick a girl's little mushroom ~ ~