Li's criteria for choosing a spouse stung the hearts of "older women": how to choose marriage?

As a super internet celebrity, Li was asked, "What kind of boys do you like?"

After listening to Li, I couldn't help laughing.

She nodded and went on working, bluntly saying, "Nothing more than kindness and filial piety!"

For a long time, as if thinking of something, she added:

"He just can help me dig. When I shoot, I usually dig a big hole, which is particularly hard. If this person can help me dig the ground, I will give priority. "

This standard of mate selection is incredible to others. Li Ziqi, an online celebrity who is gentle and straightforward and characterized by "rural lifestyle", is so simple and amazing in asking for the other half.

On the other hand, today's "older women" have high standards when choosing a spouse, which is somewhat out of place compared with Li.

When Li Zikai's criteria for choosing a spouse surprised netizens, as an "older woman" in life, she was particularly restless.

Li's mate selection criteria deeply hurt the hearts of "older women". How should they choose their own marriage? Should we continue to adhere to high standards, or return to the essence of life and make our mate selection criteria grounded?

In life, individual "older women" put the house, car, bride price, annual salary and other conditions in the first place, and have high requirements for the man's economic conditions. Thus ignoring the simple qualities of the man's character, responsibility and virtue.

What marriage needs is the integration of both parties, the ability to pay together and the responsibility for family and life.

Long-term and happy marriage is often not subject to external conditions, but the internal combination of two people, working together in marriage life and going on firmly.

However, as "older women", some single women often ignore the most important conduct and only look at external conditions. In their view, if it is not material, how can marriage be guaranteed?

For example, a few days ago, after Li's mate selection criteria went through a hot search, there were several older women left unsettled. They are a little unhappy. How should they choose marriage?

To this end, I specially chatted with three single female friends to see how they felt about it.

02

Ms. Zhou: She is a celebrity. Of course, she can be willful. Who can do this for an ordinary woman?

Ms. Zhou is 34 years old and unmarried. When Li talked about the criteria for choosing a spouse, she was somewhat unconvinced.

She said that she is a celebrity and can be willful, but what about ordinary women? If everyone has no requirements for a man like her, how can marriage be happy and how can life not go on?

Ms. Zhou told me that kindness and filial piety are of course very important, but the economic foundation also needs to be guaranteed. If the man really only digs the ground, do you think the marriage of ordinary people will be really happy?

To a large extent, we won't, because we are not celebrities and don't have tens of millions of money. What about tacky?

Most ordinary people are working, separated from their parents and go home once or twice a year. Life is not easy. How can you pursue that rural life?

Moreover, in terms of mate selection criteria, it is not unreasonable to be an older woman, but depends on the acceptance and recognition of both parties. Just like Ms. Zhou's own annual salary is only 200,000, it is impossible to ask a man to have 2 million, and it will not be unreasonable.

Ms. Zhou believes that the man she is looking for must have an economic foundation. We can't just look at his kindness and filial piety, and see if he can dig the ground.

After all, ordinary leftover women are not celebrities and can't make such simple mate selection criteria.

In Ms. Zhou's view, the standard of mate selection recognized by netizens is nothing more than holding a lively and fragrant mentality and really entering the marriage hall. The difficulties faced by ordinary people will soon break all dreams.

So she still needs to stick to her own mate selection criteria. In terms of male quality, she also needs the other party to have a certain economic foundation. Otherwise, it is impossible to get married.

Ms. Wu: It is very tangled. I don't know if I should adjust my mate selection criteria.

Ms. Wu is 35 years old and single. When she saw Li's criteria for choosing a spouse, she seemed very entangled. She doesn't know whether to adjust her mate selection criteria.

She said that marriage should be the combination of the parts that two people need most. For example, she asked a man to be enterprising and give her a stable home.

As for the man's economic foundation, it is not the most important thing, but he must be enterprising and let her see the hope of the future.

Ms. Wu gave me an analysis and said that Li's criteria for choosing a spouse is actually to find the other half she needs most.

She doesn't need to worry about the economy and has enough living conditions, so all she needs is someone who can help her dig the land, be filial to her elders and share her fatigue, which is enough.

The ordinary woman in life, without her self-confidence, must not only run for life, but also struggle for future life, at least create a certain material foundation for future children.

In fact, neither men nor women can be as free and easy as Li, nor can they have no economic and material requirements for the other half.

Ms. Wu said that she was very entangled because she really didn't have good enough conditions. If she also has enough assets, then she has no requirements for the man, only depends on the character of the other person.

The reality is that her annual salary is only a few hundred thousand, and she barely bought a house and is still in stages. She dare not spend money recklessly in her life. How can she choose a mate without material things?

She joked that if she only married a man who could dig the ground, maybe she and her future husband would starve to death.

Ms. Li: I have financial requirements for my marriage partner, and I will say what others say.

Ms. Li is 33 years old and unmarried. She has already dated her boyfriend.

Ms. Li also talked with her boyfriend about Li a few days ago. She asked her boyfriend if he thought she was too materialistic.

Because, at that time, Ms. Li' s mate selection criteria mentioned that she wanted to buy a house when she got married, and the man' s annual salary was not less than 200,000.

However, her boyfriend told her that she wouldn't. After all, she is not Li. Moreover, as a man, he also believes that no matter what kind of marriage, it is inseparable from the basic economic foundation, otherwise the life will be really difficult.

Therefore, in Ms. Li's view, her mate selection criteria must be economic security, and the requirements for the man are not particularly high, but at least they must be able to maintain a normal life.

She thinks that people nowadays are too harsh on older women, and even the normal requirements for choosing a spouse will be gossiped by others. It's too biased to just mention houses and things like that and say they are material.

In fact, most single women have their own jobs and sources of income, instead of marrying a man who raises them.

On the contrary, under your own conditions, you need to compare the man's conditions and choose the one that suits you best, and it must be right.

Ms. Li said that there must be economic requirements for finding a marriage partner anyway. As for what others say, let them go.

03

To sum up, no matter what kind of mate selection conditions older single women will have, they must have the most important one, that is, the economic foundation.

When choosing a mate, they can't just look at personality and dig for land like Li. On the contrary, they are more concerned about the man's economic conditions. Without a certain economic foundation, it is impossible for these older women to get married casually.

Everyone may have different views on this issue, but for older women, when choosing marriage, the requirements for men will not be easily reduced.

I remember Zhang Ailing wrote in Half Life: "No matter how bad your conditions are, there will always be someone who loves you. No matter how good your conditions are, there are always people who don't love you. "

Therefore, everyone will meet the right person and have a suitable marriage.

Of course, those older single women are not unreasonable, but need to pay more attention to the man who suits them best, especially financially.

I think, whether men or women, the pursuit of marriage is different, there is no need to follow one's standards. In fact, their own standards are the most appropriate.

Because only you know what kind of partner you need.

As an ordinary person, I have been honed by life for a long time and know what kind of marriage is true and the warmest.

We may not pursue the elegant life like Li's, or we may not be in the countryside, but we can't affect our inner elegance because of the vulgarity in life. At least, when looking for the other half, you still need to be based on sincerity.

So, what are the conditions for older women to choose a spouse and how to choose marriage?

I just want to remind you that no matter how much you ask for the other half, it must be based on sincerity. On the contrary, so do men.

As Engels said, "Only a marriage based on love is moral."

Ok, that's all for today's article. what do you think of it ? Welcome to leave a message!