Anxiety is the only way to raise children.

At that time, Huaiwa always listened to the old people at home telling how women "casually" gave birth to children. At that time, she always listened patiently to the "heartfelt words" of the old people, but in her heart, one hundred people could not agree.

After all, the times are changing, and women in today's society have to face many considerations such as workplace and family. Moreover, in raising a baby, it is not as simple as giving him food and clothing casually, but paying more attention to children's education, which requires different time, energy and money. Therefore, having a baby is really not that simple, and it may even make us feel all kinds of anxiety.

"Novice Mom" wrote two years ago: Because I am too worried about my children and want to be a good mother, I will inevitably have anxiety. The author of this book, Chen, is a "salt researcher" of Zhihu's mother and baby, an excellent answer to the topic of children's education in Zhihu, a columnist in the workplace, and best of all, an excellent novice mother who can balance family and career. Her experience is worth learning and learning from.

In a humorous style, this book tells the author how to take care of the baby easily and improve himself. This book is a must-read for all novice mothers. It will give novice mothers a comprehensive reference from early pregnancy preparation to all the skills of taking care of their babies before they are two years old.

Speaking of giving birth to children and bringing up babies, all mothers have their own history of blood and tears.

1, having a baby is not that simple.

Xiao Min has been married for many years and gave birth to a baby girl under the expectation of her family. However, problems followed. She met a baby with high demand and needed to sleep all the time. She would wake up when she put it down. Xiao Min hasn't had a good sleep since the baby was born, which makes Xiao Min, who has been living a regular life, very unbearable.

Moreover, the baby is easy to vomit milk, and if he is not careful, he will vomit himself and the surrounding area, which is comparable to the scene of a catastrophe. Every time he cleans up the scene, Xiao Min whispers, "Why are you so upset that you have to have a baby to torture yourself?" This makes you extremely nervous.

Needless to say, children are hard to come by, so Xiao Min will take care of everything. Once the baby has any trouble, he will be too nervous to sleep all night. My husband is busy at work and my in-laws are away from home. The burden of taking care of children can only be borne by yourself. At the same time, the huge cost of child care makes Xiao Min feel anxious, because she can't work because she has children. She had a few unpleasantness with her family because of trivial matters and was depressed for a long time. The figure is also greatly reduced.

Obviously it is a happy thing, but it has changed a little after such an operation.

We always encounter all kinds of problems when raising a baby. In the face of such a "little guy", we sometimes really feel overwhelmed, and at the same time we have to deal with all kinds of pressures that follow, and even have emotional anxiety.

2. Anxiety is the only way to have children.

In fact, the reasons for this result can be roughly divided into mental stress and material stress.

The first type: mental stress.

The so-called care is chaos, and the more chaotic, the more confused.

Just like a friend of mine, a while ago, because the baby slept for six hours, he took a taxi to the hospital to see a doctor. And nothing happened. I made myself nervous and made a big joke.

What's more, just taking care of the baby's energy is not enough.

Like Xiao Min in the case, the routine was suddenly broken by this "little guy", and it will not change for a while. Plus a person with a baby, the baby is difficult to take care of, and the mood can't be vented. After a long time, he will have anxiety.

Another is to do the best in everything, and you will be anxious if you can't compare with others.

Other children can climb, but my children can't, in a hurry; Other children will call mom, mine won't, anxious; Other mothers wear dresses and leisurely push strollers to go shopping, while they are busy with their children's housework, unkempt and even have no chance to clean themselves up. They looked down and continued to be anxious.

In fact, the so-called "Gao Daquan" perfect mother image mostly exists in film and television dramas. In real life, there are many ordinary mothers who can't eat when they take care of their babies, and they haven't recovered their bodies for two or three years after giving birth.

The second type: material pressure.

The huge child-rearing expenditure is also the culprit that leads to our child-rearing anxiety.

"It's really expensive to raise a baby now!" I believe that most ordinary parents will feel this way when they come to the nursery and see a wide range of baby care products priced. This is just the baby's eating and walking, and the later education cost is a huge expense.

Various early education courses, the parenting concept of "don't let children lose at the starting line", etc. , are parents' concerns.

In fact, every mother will inevitably go through this process. What we have to do is to reasonably eliminate the emotional anxiety caused by these pressures.

3. Solve anxiety reasonably and don't make trouble.

On how to eliminate anxiety, there are the following suggestions:

1) communicate with mothers of children of the same age and store information.

The demand for a small doll is not very high. If you eat well, dress warmly and keep a comfortable environment, you won't cry for no reason, but she can't express it, so we should learn his language as much as possible. For example: crying all the time, checking whether you pee or are hungry; Frown hard, is it necessary to stink? In addition, we should always communicate with the treasure mother of the same age and learn about other people's baby information, so that we will not be at a loss when we encounter the same situation.

2) What should I do if I have a nervous breakdown with my baby?

When taking care of your baby, you should "deal with it without emotion" in the face of the small troubles brought by your child. When your baby vomits, you should sweep it and take a bath when it is dirty. Don't raise simple things to many bad emotions such as "how can children be so troublesome and how can I be so miserable". Taking care of your baby's health is more important than physical strength. A healthy baby can save time and effort.

These mental anxieties, as mothers, must adjust their mentality in time and not be surrounded by negative emotions. After all, that "little guy" didn't mean it.

3) "The theory of people's wealth" is not blind consumption.

Regarding the cost of childcare, except for some essential vaccines, milk powder, complementary food and diapers, others can choose "second-hand goods". For example, some babies' coats, pants, strollers, hiking mats, baby guardrails, straps and other items with short service life are not easy to be damaged.

I still remember that my baby stroller was used by a cousin's baby, and it was still intact until my baby grew up. For items with short service life, especially those that occupy a place, it is recommended to choose second-hand. A stroller doesn't have thousands of items, so it will be idle after use, and there is no place to put it if it is wasted, which is very uneconomical.

In addition, we must pay attention to the choice of second-hand items. Imported things must not be allowed, and personal clothes are not allowed. These will cause the spread of bacteria, which is not conducive to the baby's health.

In addition to these necessary expenditures, the expenditure on education expenses is also very difficult. There are many such examples around me. In order to give children a better education overdraft, I bought a school district house, which eventually led to a high loan, a decline in family living standards and economic anxiety. Not to mention whether this heavy pressure can make children have a good future, but whether this way can effectively balance family expenses and resist the arrival of risks.

Therefore, on the road of parenting, it is really important to do what you can.

From pregnancy, giving birth to a baby, to raising a baby, this is a long process, full of surprises and novelty. As new mothers, we don't know how to be a qualified mother, and no school can systematically tell us every step of being a mother. Many times, we look at the soft and waxy baby around us and secretly sigh, "This is mom, not ready! It is in this unprepared situation that we embarked on the journey of raising a baby.

The author of this book suggests that being a mother is actually the bravest choice we make for the unknown life in our life. While accompanying our children to grow up, we are growing up ourselves. Finally, I hope that all novice mothers can successfully pass the novice period and get better and better on the road of raising babies.