Reasonable humorous jokes

Most jokes reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. Next, I have carefully prepared "reasonable humorous jokes" for you. Welcome to watch!

Reasonable humorous jokes (popular articles) 1. A nurse sent a urine sample to a male patient and accidentally spilled the patient's urine sample all over the floor. The nurse was afraid of jokes, so she took her urine sample for testing. The doctor was very surprised when he saw the paper. The patient was very scared and asked the doctor what was wrong with him. The doctor stammered: And you, sir? What about you? pregnant

2. The father asked his son to drink, and the son asked his father: Isn't there more in the bottle? Dad shook his head and said, it's too little. ? A few minutes later, my son came back with a bottle. Dad took the bottle and looked at it. He was shocked. It turns out that the bottle contains half a bottle of stone. The son said proudly:? Dad, you drink. This is how crows drink water. ?

Exams are like illness: depression before exams, amnesia during exams, and heart attacks after exams.

It turns out that the most powerful attack in the world is to insult each other with mathematical formulas, such as: Come on, are you still yelling at me? Height is a constant function and weight is a power function. Standing is a fifth-order complete graph, lying is a Maynard triangle. People who are scared to death by your face every year can row Fibonacci, and the breadth of failure in life is comparable to the Langlands plan. Lagrange interpolation identity is endless and can't change your bright future.

5. Watching the 3D Titanic in the cinema made my eyes full of tears, and the atmosphere and plot were very touching. As a result, when rose threw Heart of the Sea into the sea, a buddy next to her said, "What a loser!" Okay, I admit I blew my nose when I cried, okay?

6. In the middle of the night, if a bad guy puts a knife to your neck, what do you say? You have one minute. You can call anyone except your parents and ask them to pick you up. Don't say superfluous words. If he agrees to come, I will let you go. If he doesn't want to come, I will kill you. ? Who will you call? A:? Hello, I want 1 Big Mac, 1 McNuggets, 1 Potatoes, 1 Coke?

7. A buddy drove all summer and got a ticket a while ago. He said that he had been speeding to 190. As a result, this guy went to the traffic brigade office and left his car keys on the table. You can drive to 190 and the car is yours! ?

8. A colleague got drunk after drinking white wine, holding another colleague's 1 1 month-old son. A wild kiss. As a result, my colleague's son slept for three days and nights, but the doctor couldn't wake him up.

9. A child in the zoo asked his mother: Why are pythons kept in big cages and there are so many holes? Mom:? That's to ensure air circulation and not escape. ? Child:? What if it loses weight?

10. I heard this conversation in the corridor of the teaching building. A student asked:? Such a beautiful girl pursues you, why do you refuse her? Another student replied:? No matter how beautiful your girlfriend is, she is not as beautiful as math. Let's leave now. I have to brush the questions all night? Suddenly I feel that my level is too low.

A reasonable humorous joke (classic) 1. A girl posted her photo, saying that after careful consideration, she decided not to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and now she wants a boyfriend to fight together! Dozens of friends unanimously replied: don't take it too seriously! It's best to take the postgraduate entrance examination ~

2.？ The goddess of love and beauty is Ness ~ get out, that's Venus. Venus? Isn't Venus singing? Get out! That's Vitas. Vitas? Isn't Vitas the operating system? Fuck off, that's Vista. Vista？ Isn't Vesta Saiyan? Fuck off, that's Vegeta. Vegeta? Didn't Vegeta drive a tank?

After quarreling with my wife, I came to the room alone, closed the door and lay in bed with my eyes closed. I don't know when, my son who went to kindergarten stood in front of the bed and asked in a sympathetic tone: Is it depressing? I opened my eyes, looked at my son and sighed. My son patted me on the shoulder and said, hey, women are like this! I have put up with her for a long time. ?

At the beginning of the new semester, the geography teacher walked onto the platform with a smile and explained: Everyone knows me, Li Jianmin, and Li Shimin, the emperor of the Tang Dynasty? I don't know him. He can be emperor, but I can't. It can be said that the difference between a word, eternal hate. Li Shimin spilled blood in Xuanwu Gate and killed his own brother. He doesn't talk about justice at all. He doesn't speak justice, and neither do I. I talked about geography. ?

Weibo, a female classmate, wrote, "If I had a boyfriend, I would watch him play basketball every day. Bring him clothes and drinks, run with him, sing to him, buy him breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper, warm his hands, and give him hot water when it is cold. A netizen replied: "The demands of the opposition party cannot be taken seriously. When she becomes the ruling party, what she said before will become a state secret. 」

6. First prize of documentary essay contest (fresh in my memory): a cold winter in high school. I sat by the window, and the female classmate at the same table brought a bag of milk and put it on the radiator. In the second class, she gave me a gentle push: Do you feel my milk is hot? I was in a trance all day that day and couldn't attend class at all. I still remember it! (@ Chen)

7. My mother is 44 years old. She likes to drive go-karts. There are some props to buy. Yesterday, my mother told me that someone bought her a role and a car, and I laughed it off. Today, that teenager wants to video with my mother. My mother was afraid of exposure and asked me for two selfies. She sent them to the teenager. Now teenagers want to marry her in the game and buy her props.

8. An upstart called his secretary: Nana, 1 10,000 was followed by several zeros and sixes. ? The secretary replied. The nouveau riche hung up the phone and said to his business partner. Listen, there are six zeros after1000000, so there are 12 zeros after 2 million? .

9. The boss said to the personnel supervisor:? In order to save money, I decided to lay off ten people, and this decision is irrevocable. ? Personnel supervisor:? But we can only lay off six people. ? Boss:? Then you should invite four people in at a time. ?

10. The railway station is crowded with passengers going home. Train after train is either delayed or cancelled. Finally, an angry passenger said to the station staff, I don't understand why the railway company printed the timetable! ? The station staff said:? I don't know, but I think it's for the convenience of everyone to calculate how late the train is. ?

Reasonable humorous jokes (selected articles) 1. My husband vomited a smoke turn and said slowly, I must be the cleanest person in the world. ? What about you? I was shocked. You like cleanliness? Stop joking! ? Husband:? Love something, you don't have to get it. On the contrary, the more you can't get it, the more you can't put it down. ?

2. Idiot youth: I will always be seventeen. Literary youth: they begin to grow old at the age of seventeen. Ordinary youth: I have been a teacher since I was seventeen.

3. Look at the nose in the middle, Qi Liuhai looks at the face, oblique bangs look at the temperament, and no bangs look at the five senses. . . . . I am suitable for facial mask.

Remember to have a unified physical examination after graduating from junior high school, one of which is color blindness. It's buddy's turn. He stared at the photo in a daze. The doctor next to him said, just count, and hurry. Buddy: I see. Wait a minute. Five seconds later, the doctor was anxious: you mean count! Dude: What's the hurry? I just counted 26 yellow ones, 37 red ones, 14 green ones. ............

5. What if I can't catch up with the female doctor? Go to see her and leave the medicine when you leave. "Hey, your capsule." Turn around and smile and answer, "It's your capsule."

6. a mm writes:? There is a man. He is not your boyfriend, nor is he your ambiguous object. But you are so close that you don't care. When no one knows you, only he knows you. You watch movies hand in hand. But you never kiss and never say I love you. I think this is Lan Yan's bosom friend. ? A brother left a message to:? Blue egg! Isn't this your father?

7. math teacher:? I hate being lectured, just like being peeked in the shower. From time to time, someone reminds you whether you have cleaned it. ?

8. Remember to write homework and make sentences in primary school, and use the word "you" to make sentences. Students usually write "Are there chrysanthemums, peony flowers and xx flowers in the park?" Something like that Some students wrote, "I went to Xiaoli's house today and knocked at the door to ask if there was anyone?" Is anyone here? I left without anyone. "

9. Because she is fat, Ross can cut off the handcuffs with one axe, knock over the sailors with one punch, run all over the ship without eating for seven hours, soak in the cold sea water for an hour without freezing to death, and finally have the strength to swim and scream in the water. After being rescued, she can cover a thin blanket and sleep in the environment of MINUS 20 degrees until dawn. . . . On the contrary, what will happen if you lose weight? Just like Jack. . .