Super funny jokes (the more points, the more points). Every joke is a bit long.

1. A woman is too ugly to marry and wants to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car. A woman is on the night shift, and a man is following her. This woman is scared. She passed by the cemetery and had a brainwave. She said to the grave, Dad, I'm back. Open the door. The man was frightened and ran away screaming. The woman was relieved and was about to leave when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: Daughter, you forgot your key again. The woman was frightened and ran away. At this moment, a grave robber emerged from the grave and said, Shit, I delayed my work and scared you to death! As soon as the voice of grave robbery fell, I found an old man carving a tombstone with a chisel. I was curious, so I asked him. The old man said angrily: NND, they carved my name wrong ... The great fear of robbing the tomb screamed and ran away. The old man sneered, "Shit, you dare to steal my business, and it's still tender ..." Just then, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground and the old man was about to pick it up. When he bent down, he found a chisel in his hand in the grass. The old man was shocked, and suddenly a voice came: "You want to die! Change my house number! ! "。 Old man, stop fooling me and get down the hill! Then a scavenger climbed out of the grass. "Shit, it takes such a big god to get a piece of iron." . . 3. Remember when I was in kindergarten? The teacher said, "Whoever pees in bed will be fined three yuan for the first time, five yuan for the second time and ten yuan for the third time." You raise your little hand and ask, "How much is the monthly subscription? I want to subscribe monthly. 4. A student was caught climbing over the wall. The headmaster asked, "Why did you climb over the wall? The student pointed to his coat and said, "Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road!" The headmaster asked again, "How did you get over such a high wall? The student pointed to his trousers and said, "Li Ning, anything is possible!" The headmaster said angrily, "What's it like to climb over the wall?" The student pointed to the shoes and said, "Xtep, it feels like flying!" " The next day, the students came in through the main entrance. The headmaster asked in surprise, "Why don't you climb over the wall today?" The student pointed to the whole body and said, "Anta, I choose, I like it!" ""The headmaster was furious and said, "I remember you better than I do. The student was dissatisfied and asked, "Why? Did I do something wrong? " The headmaster sneered and said, "m-zone, my site listens to me!" "5. There are two flies, the mother and daughter are eating shit, and the girl asks her mother; Why do we eat shit! Mom said; Son, we are eating now, don't say such disgusting things, ok! 6, poor and ugly, one meter 49. Primary school culture, rural hukou. There are three broken houses and an acre of wasteland. Cold pot and hot stove, my wife didn't. All the year round, the medicine never leaves the mouth. Go online today, recruit girlfriends and join hands on the road of revolution ... 7. Tang Priest: I want to find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures this time. Wukong: Flying is faster than riding a horse. Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster. Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once. 8.a new watch. One day, A found that B had a new watch and asked, "This watch is good. Where is it? """This is not a purchase, this is a prize." "How did you get it?" Race. We ran three races, and I came first. ""who are those two people? 。” "The police and a man who lost his watch? 9. A blind man who can smell everything with his nose met a scholar who was reading The West Chamber. The reader asks: What book is this in my hand? The blind man replied, that's the west wing. Reader: How do you know? Blind man: It smells like rouge! . The reader took another book, The History of the Three Kingdoms: What book is this? Blind man: Smell the shock wave. It is the history of the Three Kingdoms. The reader took out his own article again: So, what is this? Blind: Well, you wrote the article, didn't you? It's full of shit. You can smell it right away. 10 Manager A and Manager B are good friends. One day, they got together. Manager B saw Manager A looking depressed and asked what had happened. Manager A sighed, "Yesterday was my birthday, and the female secretary invited me to her house for my birthday." "Isn't that great?" "When I got to her house, she asked me to wait in the living room for a while, and then I went into the bedroom to find her in five minutes. Said to give me a surprise. " "Isn't that better? Birthday is far from peach blossom. " "That's what I thought. But five minutes later, I walked into the bedroom and found my female secretary and other staff inside, waiting for me with a birthday cake. " "That's not bad. Your employees love you very much. You should be happy. " "But I took off my clothes before I went in. 1 1. If a star falls from the sky tonight and hits you, please don't worry, it's a gift from my fairy brother. You will live a carefree and happy life from now on, because. . . . You are so stupid! 12, in a mental hospital, a patient was lying in bed singing and singing. He suddenly squatted on the bed and sang. At this moment, a doctor came over and asked him, "Why are you singing?"? "? " The psychopath replied, "Are you stupid? Of course, you have to sing B after singing A! "