I want ten funniest jokes?

1, two children are talking: A says: Our whole family likes animals very much, my mother likes cats, my brother likes dogs and my sister likes rabbits. B said: What about your father? A said: I like foxes. I want to jump off the building and go to the ninth floor to catch my breath. I want to struggle to the seventh floor and leave my last words. I want to be disabled to the sixth floor. I want to be hospitalized to the fourth floor. I want to cheat insurance. I want to go to the third floor. It's just scary. I want to try my courage to go to the first floor. I have nine lives ... Please wait underground. 3. The teacher's golden sentence Chinese teacher: "Copy the text 20 times, don't do it in class, hand it in before class. English teacher: "if you don't finish your homework, you're finished." "(If you can't finish your homework, you are finished. ) Math teacher: "Counting doesn't have to be accurate, the most important thing is to be fast and efficient. Math teacher: "The condition of elevation angle of 90 degrees: 1. There is a man downstairs, 2. There are beautiful women upstairs and three. A beautiful woman should wear a skirt. " China history teacher: "Don't ask if it's difficult, just think it's easy." Pure math teacher: "He is him, you are you, it doesn't matter ak!" " It doesn't matter if he is him or you are you! ) Economics teacher: "Be a star when you have time and become an elite in the future." Science teacher: "Even if the answer is right, the expression is not good, and there is no score." The vice principal will speak in advance: "Did you have breakfast tomorrow morning? Do you eat bread? However, there is a package that cannot be eaten, that is, the top package. " Correctional officer: "Two rows, two rows. Class teacher: I can't use Powerpoint because I have no right to order. " The classmate asked, "What page are we on, sir?" Mr. A: "I think. 4. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky: "I am dead, God help me!" " "When the light came on, I saw a voice from the sky:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead. 5. School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If you don't have the train ticket you want, will you obey the adjustment? Me: Obey. After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! ! School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment? Once the bell rings, everyone must go home. When going down the stairs, a boy stepped on his right foot with his left foot and fell into a big font in the middle of the road ... He thought at that time: No, it's too embarrassing, you have to pretend to be dizzy. As a result, the students next to him saw the boy motionless, quickly helped him up, and then slapped him wildly ... 17. Once upon a time, Americans went sightseeing in Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel. He digs a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on ... The American was curious and asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole just after you dug it?" The Russian worker replied, "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 8. A customer walks to the front desk. Customer: "Give me a small bowl." Me: "Huh?" I didn't know it was a sundae until the customer pointed to the menu. Me: "sundaes? What flavor do you want? " Customer: "Apple's." Me: "Ah? Sorry, I have never sold apples. " Customer: "What's that green one?" Me: "Oh, that's aloe." Customer: "Aloe? Isn't that a flower! Can you eat? " Me: "Yes!" Customer: "Forget it, I never eat blindly." I want coffee. "Me: (at a loss)" Sorry, I have never sold coffee. Customer: "What is dark black?" Me: "That's chocolate. Customer: "forget it, chocolate is too sweet." I want the red one. "It's strawberries." Me: (super happy, I can guess right once. ) "Yes, how many do you want?" Customer: "one, but I don't eat sesame seeds." Please help me pick out all the strawberry seeds. " Me:! @~#$%^&； & amp**~! @#$%^&； I: "Welcome" Customer: "How big is this big bag of popcorn?" Me: "So big" (pointing to her) Customer: "What about the middle one?" Me: "So big" (I pointed again) Customer: "Ok, give me a mashed potato" Me: …… (Don't stop me, let me go down and slap her! ! ! ) 10, a man took a friend to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to her grandmother, thank you for the peanuts, and her grandmother replied, Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough ...