Ten SMS jokes of classic cold jokes

The following is my super classic short message ~ 1 * *10, have fun!

1. When I was young, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, if you learn this skill, you will never starve to death. So my mother taught me to eat!

One day, I was in a hurry to urinate, so I broke into the luxurious bathroom of a hotel. Walking into the urinal, I saw a few big characters on it. Don't wear it out! ? I chuckled in my heart. I'm waiting for quality people and sleeping in a five-star hotel. What scenes have I not seen? When it is done, it is automatic induction and automatic water spraying, and the water volume is huge! All wet, suddenly realize: damn, a comma will kill you! ?

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: I can only realize one of your wishes. Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. Man: I want a wife? The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, I'm starving and covet beauty! Pathetic! Then he disappeared. Person:? Cake.

4. Internet cafes go to the toilet and see a lot of handwriting on the toilet door. The first one says: women are cheap! And attach some vulgar swear words. Then a reply: Men are the meanest! I also attached some swearing words, which should be a female reply. A few lines came and went like this, and finally someone shouted: Stop fucking arguing, men and women are fucking bitches! What is expensive now is pork!

A company posted a note on the urinal:? A small step forward, a big step for civilization? As a result, there are still many urine stains on the ground. Later, the company learned a lesson seriously and redesigned it as:? If you can't pee in the pool, you are short; Peeing outside the pool means you are soft? As a result, the ground is much cleaner than before.

6. A man sends a romantic message to his girlfriend: What are you doing? Are you dreaming? Pass on your dreams to me; Are you laughing? Send a smile; Are you crying? Send tears, let your tears grieve with me.

Girlfriend replied: I am taking a shit. .

7. Once upon a time, there was a man named Daxiong. When he was dying, he called his wife to the bed and warned her. After I die, don't steal people casually, otherwise, every time you steal someone, I will roll on the ground! ? Say that Nobita will die? !

A year later, Nobita's wife has something important to find in hades? Nobita? Yan Luowang stayed for a long time and didn't know who Nobita was. Finally, she mentioned Nobita's last words before he died, and Yan Luowang suddenly realized. You told me! ? Then he shouted at it:? Hey! Gyro bear, someone is looking for you! ?

8. A girl asked for marriage and wrote: I am 80 years old, beautiful, 165, virgin? I was almost moved to tears. I replied: it is not easy. I'm still a virgin after 80s, a good girl. After a while, the girl replied, when I say virgin, I mean constellation. You are so corny.

9. When I was in college, my classmates went to Sichuan cuisine restaurant for corruption. I ordered a pig's head when I ordered. After talking for a long time, the waitress couldn't understand. A classmate smiled and pointed to his head and said to the waitress, "Here! Pig head meat! " Miss: "Oh? I see! " Since then, this gentleman has been nicknamed "pig's head meat".

10, when I was in high school, the school asked girls to wear school uniforms the next day and have activities at school. The weather was bad the next day, and all the girls took their school uniforms to school. Some boys wear nothing and put on girls' uniforms when they feel cold. The math teacher looked at the class and said, "Boys take off all the girls' clothes"?

The whole class is speechless and laughs 10 minutes?