8 funny English jokes

The following are 8 funny English jokes I compiled. Welcome to read!

English funny joke: imitation

A boy went home with a stomachache. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach hurts because it is empty. You'll be fine if you eat something.

After a while, my father came back from the office and complained of a headache.

"That's because it's empty," said his clever son. If you eat something, you will be fine.

A boy came home from school with a stomachache. Come on, sit down and have a snack, mom said. Your stomach hurts because it is empty. Eat something and you'll be fine.

After a while, the boy's father came home from work and said he had a headache.

His clever son said, you have a headache because your head is empty. Just put something in it and you'll be fine.

English funny joke: fried chicken

In class, the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "Jack, what kind of bird do you like best?"

Jack thought for a moment and then replied, "fried chicken, sir."

The teacher showed the students all kinds of photos of birds in class. Then he asked one of the students, Jack, what kind of bird do you like best?

Jack thought for a moment and replied. Fried chicken, teacher. ?

English joke: I just bit my tongue.

I just bit my tongue.

"Are we poisonous?" The young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue!"

English joke: I just bit my tongue.

? Are we poisonous? A young snake asked its mother.

? Yes, dear. She replied? Why do you ask?

? Because I just bit my tongue. ?

How much English can you speak?

"Your honor, I want to remind you how unfair this is to my client.

Accused of theft. He arrived in new york city a week ago, hardly knowing his own.

It's everywhere. More importantly, he can only speak a few words of English. "

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

"Mr. Judge, how unfair it is for my client to be accused of stealing. He just came to new york a week ago and hardly knows the way.

Besides, he can only speak a few English words. "

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

He won, he won.

Tommy: Johnny, how is your little brother? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

Tom: Johnny, how is your little brother?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He's hurt.

Tom: That's too bad. What happened?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

English joke: three priests and three priests.

Three southern priests were having lunch in a restaurant. One said, you know, since summer, I? I have problems taking a bath in my attic and the attic of the church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-and nothing seems to scare them away.

The other said, yes, me too. Me? I dream of living in my bell tower and attic. Me? I have fumigated this place, and they still won. Don't go away.

The third said, I baptize all my people and make them members of the church ... is there? Never saw one come back again!

Three southern priests were having lunch in a small restaurant. One of them said:? You know, when summer comes, bats have harassed the attic and the top floor of my church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-and nothing seems to drive them away. ?

The other said:? Yeah, me too. There are hundreds in my bell tower and attic. I once fumigated the whole place, but they still couldn't get rid of it. ?

The third priest said:? I baptized all the bats there and made them a member of the church ... and never came back. ?

English joke: excited words

Our five-year-old son likes riding a motorcycle. Seeing a scream that always brings joy is adjusted by excited remarks! Look at that! "I will have a car like this one day," his father always replied, "not as long as I am alive."

One day, while our son was talking to a child, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and shouted, "Look at that!" Look at that! I will buy one as soon as my father dies.

My five-year-old son has a keen interest in motorcycles. Whenever he sees a motorcycle, he will scream with joy and say excitedly, look at this one! Look at this. One day I will have one. His father's answer is always, as long as I live, you can't have this thing.

One day, our son was talking to his little friend when a motorcycle came. He excitedly pointed to the motorcycle and shouted, Look at this one! Look at this! After my father dies, I will have a motorcycle like this.

English funny joke: logical reasoning logical reasoning

A fourth-grade teacher is giving her students a logic lesson.

Here's the thing, she said. A man was standing on a boat in the middle of the river fishing. He lost his balance, fell into the water, started splashing and shouted for help.

His wife heard the commotion and knew that he couldn't swim, so she ran to the shore. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

A girl raised her hand and asked, "Take out all his savings?"

The fourth grade teacher is giving a logic lesson to the students. She gave an example: there was a case where a man was fishing on a boat in the middle of the river and suddenly lost his center of gravity and fell into the water. So he began to struggle and shouted for help.

His wife heard his cry and knew that he couldn't swim, so she hurried to the river. Who can tell me why? A girl raised her hand and answered, should I go to withdraw his deposit?