Degang Guo's dream wedding photos in cross talk.

Lead: Crosstalk is a folk art form that makes the audience laugh with jokes, funny questions and answers, and rap. Let the audience laugh with jokes, funny questions and answers, rap, etc. I arranged the following lines of Degang Guo crosstalk "Dream of Marriage" for you. I hope it will help you!

Degang Guo: Everything is changing now, and it is changing very fast. Every day is the same. Take our cross talk as an example. What you hear today is the same, and what you hear tomorrow is the same.

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: Yes. People's minds are the same. Take me for example. I used to want to get rich, but now I don't think so. Here is the change.

Yu Qian: Yes!

Degang Guo: In the past, this idea was wrong. What kind of thought is it?

Yu Qian: Exactly.

Degang Guo: I have no idea of getting rich.

Yu Qian: You are better than them.

Degang Guo: The more money, the better!

Yu Qian: You are not as good as them!

Degang Guo: Do you want to blur your thoughts?

Yu Qian: Only you have this idea!

Degang Guo: Talking about getting rich is a joke.

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: I once made a fortune. That was more than 20 years ago. I found a big handbag at the Sanqing Theater in Dashilan. When I opened my wallet, I saw more than 500,000 tickets from China and abroad! I suddenly became rich, and suddenly there was a thunder at home. What should we pay attention to when we had money in the old society? Pay attention to food and clothing, pay attention to ostentation and extravagance. I have to pay attention to clothes. You think, when I have money, I must pay attention to it.

Yu Qian: Yes, can you wear it?

Degang Guo: Do the math yourself. I will put on my fur coat on June 13.

Yu Qian: Wait a minute! Isn't it hot to wear leather clothes on June 13?

Degang Guo: It's not hot. This is Xiabuhang noodles!

Yu Qian: That's not cool either!

Degang Guo: There is a small cotton-padded jacket and trousers with gauze inside.

Yu Qian: Pure sweat!

Degang Guo: I wear 17 hats myself. I look like a chimney from a distance.

Yu Qian: A bunch of candied haws.

Degang Guo: My monthly car rental has three foot bells.

Yu Qian: Are they all?

Degang Guo: Three of me! One on each side.

Yu Qian: Where is the middle one?

Degang Guo: Poke the staff of civilization. I sit more tired than the driver.

Yu Qian: Yes! Your hands and feet will be idle from time to time

Degang Guo: Cook breakfast? font:color = " # 006699 " & gt； Guo induced drought? /p & gt；

Yu Qian: Is there anything like that?

Degang Guo: If you drink ice cream, you can't, because it's too cold. You have to reheat it, add some sesame sauce, add three sanitary balls, put four chickens aside, and then serve. ...

Yu Qian: Did you drink it?

Degang Guo: I poured it! Not the taste!

Yu Qian: It can't be a taste.

Degang Guo: It made me crazy. I went to Shanghai.

Yu Qian: What did you do in Shanghai?

Degang Guo: Stay in the biggest hotel in Huangpu Beach, 60 yuan. I left eight doors alone.

Yu Qian: Two rooms are not enough?

Degang Guo: No! Eight rooms are useful. There is a dining room, a living room, a bathroom and a toilet, occupying four rooms.

Yu Qian: There are four more.

Degang Guo: Those four rooms take turns sleeping.

Yu Qian: One room for one night.

Degang Guo: No! Sleep for five minutes in this room and five minutes in that room. When you sleep, take the watch. Go in and make the bed, take off your clothes and go in. Look at the watch, it's still a minute short. Get dressed, fold the bed and run indoors.

Yu Qian: pure toss!

Degang Guo: Walk here and there every day. Both are good, but they are just as bad. They don't understand dialects.

Yu Qian: Oh! Can't understand the local dialect.

Degang Guo: I miss my motherland abroad, but I miss Beijing when I go to Shanghai. Hey! I met an acquaintance in Beijing, who is also our crosstalk performer. You know this man.

Yu Qian: Who is it?

Degang Guo: XXX, this man has a broken heart!

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: That year, because he was in Shanghai, he walked to Guangxi Road and met me: "xx, I came here to look for our relatives, but I couldn't find them. They moved away and I'm stuck here. Can you find something for me? " I said, "Where can I find something for you?" Even though I'm still here. Didn't you just eat? Never mind, let's go! Go to my shop. "At that time, I shaved his head, bathed him, changed his clothes, from head to toe.

Yu Qian: Good friend!

Degang Guo: "You have a fur coat with fox legs first."

Yu Qian: What month is it now?

Degang Guo: On June 20th.

Yu Qian: Do children wear fox leg leather clothes on June 20?

Degang Guo: I'm reporting here. Please ask him to report with me.

Yu Qian: Two sweat bags!

Degang Guo: I called everyone in the shop. "Let me introduce you. Mr xx is my closest friend. His is mine and mine is his. No one is allowed to restrict access. " Tell you what, how about we make friends?

Yu Qian: unambiguous!

Degang Guo: Alas! Kindness breeds disaster.

Yu Qian: What's the matter?

Degang Guo: I went out that day. When I came back, there was nothing in my room! I asked the people in the shop, and they said, "You can't ask us. You can't tell him, limit his entry and exit. " I asked him where he had gone. The man in the shop said, "He cancelled his account and said that you have news to go back to Beijing." Wow! I can't say this sentence, I can't say it, blow typhoid fever! There is not much money left. Can you afford to stay in such a big hotel?

Yu Qian: What should I do?

Degang Guo: Let's go! Move to the hotel. I couldn't afford a hotel, so I moved to an apartment. I couldn't afford an apartment, so I moved to a small shop. Then he plummeted and slept with a beggar. Sir, I don't even want to talk about it. I feel sad when I say it!

Yu Qian: It doesn't matter if you say it.

Degang Guo: In a blink of an eye, the twelfth lunar month is over twenty, wearing a big hollow cotton-padded jacket.

Yu Qian: Yes! You wore a fur coat in June!

Degang Guo: Not to mention. Should the name be cotton-padded jacket or three kinds?

Yu Qian: What's the difference?

Degang Guo: There is a jacket in the front and a coat in the back. That is to say, there are two or three pieces of cotton cloth on the cuffs.

Yu Qian: I have never seen this kind of clothes.

Degang Guo: There are good people everywhere. The shopkeeper in the shop saw me: "XXX, look at you like this, you'd better hurry back to Beijing." I said, "Boss, you know exactly what I said. I have no clothes, no food in my stomach and nothing in my hand. How can I go back? " "I'm ready for you." Take out two large numbers for me as soon as you open the safe.

Yu Qian: 200 yuan?

Degang Guo: Twenty cents!

Yu Qian: Twenty cents!

Degang Guo: People don't give me money, which is better than giving it to beggars. Let's run out for a while Don't you get it? I said, "Wait a minute, boss. How about giving me 20 cents? Oh, you treat me like a beggar? I'm telling you, when the surname X is rich, he spends money like water and helps others with their money. I don't care about 3500 yuan. Do not look at me. People are not poor! " One gritted his teeth, one stamped his foot, and one was cruel: "Isn't that your twenty cents?"

Yu Qian: No?

Degang Guo: "I will take it!"

Yu Qian: Did you get it?

Degang Guo: Amateur. Who will pay a penny then? It's not bad to buy some baked sweet potatoes.

Yu Qian: Do you know the money now?

Degang Guo: You said that if people were unlucky, they wouldn't even join in eating sweet potatoes.

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: The more you eat, the less you eat!

Yu Qian: Yes, I didn't eat any more!

Degang Guo: I walked north for a few days. It's snowing heavily, the top is soaked and the bottom is stepping on it. I have no clothes on me and no food in my stomach. My upper teeth are so cold, I feel more and more sad to think of them. Why am I still alive? Might as well jump into the well and die! You say that people are unlucky, and your words come true. You say that if you jump into a well, there will be a well.

Yu Qian: There is no merger.

Degang Guo: The first slope is the vegetable garden. When there is such a big well (gesture) in the middle, three people jump in and no one touches anyone.

Yu Qian: What a big well.

Degang Guo: There is a cabin nearby. Two people slept in the shack. Don't ask, it must be food. When I saw no one around, I took advantage of this person's ignorance-

Yu Qian: You jumped in?

Degang Guo: Don't jump!

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: You see, we know we shouldn't do anything shady. I woke up a vegetable watcher and I discussed it with him. He asked me to jump, and I jumped here. He won't let me jump. I will jump somewhere else. It doesn't matter.

Yu Qian: I haven't heard of it. Did you wake someone up and jump into the well?

Degang Guo: "Second brother, wake up." "Do you buy it?" "Don't buy anything, lend you light and jump into the well." Scared, he blushed and pulled me: "Tell me what's difficult! More than 300 holes in our village point to this well! You will be finished in one jump. " The more he pulls me, the more I jump.

Yu Qian: I really want to die!

Degang Guo: Who really died? I want to scare him. If he is afraid, give me dozens of dollars and I will live!

Yu Qian: Listen, what is this behavior?

Degang Guo: As soon as I yelled, that one woke up: "Second, what about yelling?" "Brother, come on, look, this man is going to merge." "Give it up! Jump early, and wake people up and jump into the well! "

Yu Qian: I understand.

Degang Guo: I said, who wants to jump into the well? "Lend you the lamp, me!" "Are you alone? Is there anyone else? " This can be three Qing Zi, why do you worship your brother to jump into the well? "I am alone." "You a person is easy. This is your own well in your garden. It's been driving for over thirty years. There hasn't been a master jumper yet. There is nothing more to say. Please give me a card, big brother! "

Yu Qian: See if you can jump this time!

Degang Guo: He is good at this place. He asked me to open it for him! "Don't open the door for you, don't call you! To die is to die in light. Tell the truth, is this well sweet and bitter? "

Yu Qian: Why do you ask?

Degang Guo: Find easy steps.

Yu Qian: He said sweet water?

Degang Guo: Sweet water won't kill me. I come from bad karma. I can't do anything. I went to the bitter one.

Yu Qian: He said bitter water?

Degang Guo: I won't die of bitter water. I come from bad karma. I've suffered all my life, and I don't want to drink sweet water even after I die!

Yu Qian: Hey! He has something to say!

Degang Guo: No matter what he says, I won't die. He gave me a smile: "You asked us about this water?"

Yu Qian: Sweet or bitter?

Degang Guo: "Half sweet is not bitter!"

Yu Qian: You can drink anything.

Degang Guo: Erzishui. What an idiot! You are three Qing Zi! From destruction, dare you kill me? Barefoot is afraid of you wearing shoes? I can't do what we agreed. I'm really in a hurry!

Yu Qian: Hit them?

Degang Guo: I got down on my knees! Kneel there and talk to them.

Yu Qian: What nonsense?

Degang Guo: "I haven't eaten for three days. Do you have any leftovers for me? " ? I will never forget your good points while I am alive. "

Yu Qian: Is this called cross talk? You're suing someone!

Degang Guo: I just scared those two off!

Yu Qian: I am soft-hearted!

Degang Guo: "It is best to study gently in the new year. I should have said it earlier. Scare us by jumping into a well? Second, give it to him. " Bring me two cakes and half-casserole millet porridge in a few minutes. "Come on, you can even give me this pot!"

Yu Qian: Why do you want this pot?

Degang Guo: Begging for food is a good thing.

Yu Qian: I'm hungry this time.

Degang Guo: Give me another bundle of firewood and half a box of matches. "Come on, go to the North Earth Temple and bear it. This is our public place. " When you come to the Earth Temple, turn on the X fan, dust off the table, light firewood and drive away the cold in the temple. Sit on the pot, eat the paste cake and drink porridge while it is hot. I hugged the firewood ashes and the floor grill in the casserole, holding the casserole, wrapped in a cotton-padded jacket and with a censer on my head. I'm so sleepy-

Yu Qian: I can't seem to sleep.

Degang Guo: It's my fault. I missed a sleep (tax)!

Yu Qian: You are punished for tax evasion!

Degang Guo: It seems that I can't sleep here, just listening to the car outside, bang! Stop. Two people got out of the taxi. One said, "Look for it!" Who said, "Don't worry, he can't go far. He must have entered the temple! " "

Yu Qian: Maybe it's to catch thieves.

Degang Guo: If you catch anyone breaking an open flame, shoot me later! When I was afraid, I jumped down and looked under the altar. They didn't look like officials when they came in.

Yu Qian: Like what?

Degang Guo: The waiters are all dressed up, wearing fur coats and holding electric batons: "Take a picture-here, come out!" I said, "Not me." Two people set, just-

Yu Qian: Tie you up?

Degang Guo: Get on your knees! I think it sounds good, so don't mention it.

Yu Qian: Call you what?

Degang Guo: "Uncle, who has offended you again? The old lady gave us three days, and the next day, if we can't find you tomorrow, we must send us to the county! Uncle, please come back with us! "

Yu Qian: Do you have any relatives here?

Degang Guo: Who has relatives?

Yu Qian: Then how can I call you uncle?

Degang Guo: I mistook you for someone else.

Yu Qian: That's right.

Degang Guo: I have to make way: "Do you take a closer look at an uncle like me?" The footman started a quarrel; "Uncle, my words are worth your opening. I raised you from a young age, and I can recognize the rest of the bones. " These two people simply mistook one for another.

Yu Qian: Alas!

Degang Guo: He mistook me for someone else. Do you think I should go with him?

Yu Qian: Then go with him.

Degang Guo: Go with him? See what he's looking for. If you can find your son and nephew to go with him, why don't you look for them in vain when you get there? How to also have to give a few pieces. Suppose I stand, sir. Look at that. You thought it was a tap?

Yu Qian: Then don't go.

Degang Guo: Don't go? You must starve to death in this temple.

Yu Qian: Do you have any definite ideas?

Degang Guo: Ask him. I won't go there because there are many men in their family. These people are not serious. It doesn't matter how many women have, just hit them twice, complain and run.

Yu Qian: This is outrageous. You are somebody else's uncle. I don't know who they are.

Degang Guo: This place is for business. Take my words to trap him: "since you two brothers are here, go back and tell him that I will never commit suicide!" "

Yu Qian: You didn't intend to die at all!

Degang Guo: "Look, my clothes are in rags. Who do you think I deserve to go back like this? I will ask my classmates to change their clothes and go back tomorrow! " The page said, "Uncle, you are so confused. Do you know who else is at home? " ? The old lady is your hometown; Missing someone who is you; The rest of us are your slaves. We eat your meager food every month. Who dares to laugh at you? "I didn't expect a widow and an old lady with a girl (showing great pride).

Yu Qian: What are you doing?

Degang Guo: Into your brain. Get on the bus with a casserole.

Yu Qian: Just throw away the casserole!

Degang Guo: Amateur. Throw it away? Have a look there, no, come out and beg. There are no more boys!

Yu Qian: I am afraid of being hungry this time.

Degang Guo: The car is driving really fast. At the corner. Liangguangmen is in the north of the road, with four locust trees, horses and stones, and horse piles. The light bulb at the door is so big (gesture) that there are more than 84,600 candles.

Yu Qian: Is there a candle that big?

Degang Guo: It looks like daytime. The valet got off the bus and shouted, "Pick up my uncle!" " There are more than 200 incisions coming out of it. The big workers, the coolies, the information desk, the maid and the old lady stood in two rows, and I was afraid to get off.

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: It's dark in the Earth Temple. It's hard to be fooled by two people with four eyes. There were more than 200 people and more than 400 eyes, and one of them saw it: "This is not our uncle!" " Trouble! No? The bus is at the door!

Yu Qian: What should I do?

Degang Guo: I have to play tricks. When I hold that casserole, it's like holding a leather bag. As soon as I shook my sleeves, I blocked my face: "Don't do this!" We went in. He grabbed it with his hand and took the cotton out of his cuff!

Yu Qian: This time it's a jacket.

Degang Guo: As soon as I entered the second door, I saw my old lady coming out of the upstairs room.

Yu Qian: Do you know?

Degang Guo: I don't know.

Yu Qian: Then how do you know?

Degang Guo: There is a reason. The one who is helped by two mothers must be the old lady in our family. I didn't finish eating. My mother helped me walk around the yard.

Yu Qian: I haven't heard of it!

Degang Guo: Kneel at the door and cover your face with your hand: "Mom, I'm home!" " "

Yu Qian: Are you still ashamed?

Degang Guo: Who is ashamed?

Yu Qian: Then why are you blocking your face?

Degang Guo: I'm afraid she will find out!

Yu Qian: That's right.

Degang Guo: The old lady said, "Alas! If you can't find it in two days, you must lie outside, which will make me angry sooner or later. Go in! " I didn't see it! I shivered outside and sweated when I entered the room.

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: There are heating pipes and eight stoves around, all so high, so thick, so big, so big (gesture). Eight tons of coal is only half filled! How high is the flame!

Yu Qian: Hey! Where is that room?

Degang Guo: There are holes in the house!

Yu Qian: If there are no holes, they are all there!

Degang Guo: When I look in the mirror, my teeth are white. "Take my uncle to the bathhouse to take a bath."

Yu Qian: Is there a bathtub at home?

Degang Guo: Someone brought me six pancreases. I ate three tablets and washed three.

Yu Qian: Why eat three pieces?

Degang Guo: It's called seeing the light from the inside out.

Yu Qian: this ... lavage!

Degang Guo: After the shower, there is a small door that says "dressing room". When I went to open the box, I looked at it. It is full of lake crepe, buckle crepe, flower crepe, kara, serge, goose satin, official satin and imitation satin. No coarse cloth, blue cloth, big white cloth, moonlight, gray city and light blue hair.

Yu Qian: How poor!

Degang Guo: We can get dressed. When we tire them out, we can't make them laugh.

Yu Qian: Of course.

Degang Guo: Soft-pointed pants and jackets wear three-body, pants and jackets wear three-body, sweaters and pants wear three-body. Put on a five-silk robe and a silk robe. Camel robe, velvet lined cotton robe, coat outside cotton robe. Wear a leather coat outside, a leather coat outside, and a vest outside. Pack a bag, wear a straw hat and a felt.

Yu Qian: What virtue?

Degang Guo: As soon as I sit on the sofa, the old lady stops talking about those compliments.

Yu Qian: I still praise you.

Degang Guo: "People are clothes and horses are saddles. My uncle looks bad without a ruler. This ruler-"

Yu Qian: Nice?

Degang Guo: "It's a bear!"

Yu Qian: It's a bear!

Degang Guo: "Have you eaten?" Why don't you come to your house and talk?

Yu Qian: Eat!

Degang Guo: "I haven't eaten for three days!" "

Yu Qian: You'd better show off!

Degang Guo: He is hungry. "Give my uncle western food." This is killing me!

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: There are no chopsticks in western food, only knives and forks. I haven't used it either I put a knife in my mouth and broke my tongue.

Yu Qian: You should be careful.

Degang Guo: I was just about to drink water when the old lady called her mother, "Go! Send a message to the young lady that his son-in-law is back and let them meet. " This is a good opportunity. I must meet the young lady. You look good, I will accompany her to endure; If you don't look as good as me ...

Yu Qian: So you left?

Degang Guo: I will put up with it!

Yu Qian: The last straw!

Degang Guo: What to eat here!

Yu Qian: Did you see the food just now?

Degang Guo: After a while, four Meidochan came to hold the young lady and pull the damper. Wow! I see this young lady! The four beauties are so angry.

Yu Qian: Tell me.

Degang Guo: Laugh and praise, hate da ji, treat beauty with illness, and make Yang Fei drunk. If you sink fish and fall wild geese, you will be ashamed of flowers when you close the moon. You'll be beautiful, with a haircut and a perm!

Yu Qian: How can you be poor?

Degang Guo: One foot is in the threshold and the other foot is outside. Seeing that I am happy first and then worried, this strength makes it difficult for me to learn!

Yu Qian: Do you study?

Degang Guo: "Oh! Is Mr. X back? "

Yu Qian: Where is English here?

Degang Guo: "Who has sinned against you? For one thing, you left, and for another, the old lady is still taking care of us. If the old lady dies too early, we have to fool you! Look at you, a passerby. It's really unbearable and shameless. I hate it, I hate it, you really hate it! "

Yu Qian: You are annoying enough!

Degang Guo: The old lady said, "Don't bother, I'll marry you in the New Year." Chinese New Year? Eight years! The old lady put in a good word for me: "old lady, the older you get, the more confused you really become." Children come and go, don't get married, miss comes and gets sick, and don't get married. You might as well do it earlier. "The old lady said," good! Check the imperial calendar. "You check the almanac, Ding is Ding, Mao is Mao, today's day is good, just today (showing smugness)!

Yu Qian: What are you doing?

Degang Guo: I changed my clothes again, wearing red flowers and flowers. Hanging lights at the gate and the second gate, worshiping heaven and earth and entering the bridal chamber. When I arrived at the bridal chamber, I saw that it was all white and the bed was a shiny satin mattress. I let the satin quilt lie down, leaning against the pillow, leaning against the pillow and the mandarin duck pillow. The young lady sat on the bed and smiled at me. I got into bed, but it was amazing!

Yu Qian: What?

Degang Guo: Too hard. Suddenly, I fell off the table, the casserole broke, the cotton-padded jacket caught fire and my neck sank!

Yu Qian: Aren't you married?

Degang Guo: No, I'm dreaming in a temple!

Yu Qian: Dream!