What wardrobe jokes do you have to share?

Ordering a mushroom soup and eating an abalone soup should be a joke that will make you laugh all your life, not because you are complacent and take advantage of it, but because abalone was nothing at that time.

After the college entrance examination, several girlfriends took out all their savings and had dinner together. We ordered a mushroom soup, but the waiter served an abalone soup. Everyone has never eaten abalone, saying that this mushroom is too chewy and can feel like meat. Finally, it was agreed that the dried mushrooms had not been soaked.

I haven't been to that restaurant since the exam, but everyone is obsessed with mushroom soup and says that they must go back and try it in the future.

I have never been back to my alma mater since. Some people went to college, others went out to work.

Probably when I was in class in the second year of high school, a classmate who worked outside wanted to call me. After hanging up several times, he called me again. I really have no choice but to get under the table and cover my mouth to answer the phone.

That guy smiled and told me that he just ate abalone today, which was exactly the same as what we had for the college entrance examination dinner. The waiter should have made a mistake and served us abalone soup. It is really hard for children in our countryside to eat abalone as mushrooms, but it took several years to know.

I laughed as soon as I heard it, and instantly felt the classroom quiet. When I got up from under the desk, the whole class 100 students were paying attention to me, so I had to get under the desk again in embarrassment.

Jokes can relieve people's pressure and improve their mood. A joke every day makes life happier. I share a joke:

I took my daughter to the ATM to withdraw money. After getting the money, I saw my second-rate daughter staring at the ATM and refusing to leave. She asked her what had happened. She said something that made me laugh until now, "Dad, let's buy this machine and go home."

Who doesn't like such a real daughter!

Sharing another picture is a very funny conversation I have saved so far:

I can't talk about the bottom of the closet. I just collected a joke.

Funny joke: I gain three pounds every festive season, and this year it is more than three pounds. After the Spring Festival, my friend's face is a lot rounder, and the focus is on the stomach. One day, we went to the supermarket, and as soon as we left, she was stopped by a security guard. "Lady, your clothes are bulging. What's in them!" Her expression was so depressed that silence broke out for a while and she opened her glistening stomach. "This is meat, this is meat. I want you to remind me when I am fat! "

1. Media interview with China swimmers: What do you think is the secret of your winning the championship by beating Japanese swimmers? China player: Because the other person is married. .....................................................................................................................................................................

The young man got an interview for a financial job, omitting 10,000 words in front. Interviewer: If you see a person wearing dirty clothes for an interview, will you pass by him? Applicant: Then his pants must be very good! The interviewer's serious expression soon became tense.

Think about this! My tits hurt when I laugh!

Zhizuo: What are you doing?

Gong Yu: I'm moving mountains.

Zhizuo: moving mountains? Can you finish moving it?

Gong Yu: I can't finish moving, my children and grandchildren will continue to move, and their children and grandchildren will continue to move!

Zhizuo: Do you have a girlfriend?

Gong Yu: Ma De, stop digging! ! !

Ukraine proposes to cancel Russia's veto power in the Security Council! Rejected by Putin the Great by one vote! ! !

How do martial arts masters determine the level of martial arts! A: It depends on the background music and the appearance of BGM.

David's wife gave birth to a daughter! Tongda is really amazing! Contributed to the scientific research of men giving birth to children!

What's more disgusting than eating shit? I'm full I must tick.

Come on, slap him.

Once upon a time, there was a mountain. There is a temple in the mountains. There is an old monk and a young monk in the temple. By the way, on a hot summer day-

The young monk said to the old monk, "Master, it's so hot. Let's buy an air conditioner."

The old monk said to the young monk, "There is a Buddha in the shop."

Little monk: "There is a Buddha in the shop. What is the conflict with buying air conditioners? "

Old monk: "I bought Buddha cold!" " "

Little monk: "Is it cold?"

Old monk: "I bought Buddha cold!" " "

Little monk: "Why?"

Animals go to play by boat together. On the way, the fox suggested that everyone tell a joke. If it's not funny, throw it down. Everyone agreed!

The monkey told a joke first, and everyone laughed, except the pig. Then the monkey was thrown down.

It was the tiger's turn to tell jokes, and everyone didn't laugh, but the pig smiled, and then the tiger was thrown down;

The fox asked the pig, is what the tiger said funny?

Pig: No, what the monkey said is so funny!

Warning! Warning! Don't look at it while eating, I'm afraid you will spit out the rice grains with a smile!

1. Once, I got drunk and woke up embarrassed the next day. So I called my brother and said, "Dude, I'm really sorry. I drank too much last night. " The friend replied, "Brother! Getting drunk is human nature, but you threw my hamster out last night and shouted, get it! Pikachu! " I can't understand. ...

2. I went to eat roast duck rice yesterday, and a father and daughter sat at the next table. As soon as the roast duck rice was served, uncle kept putting his roast duck on his daughter's plate and said, "Eat more, eat more!" " "I am very touched. What a good father China is! Uncle went on to say, "eat more, eat a big fat man, and you can study hard without anyone chasing you!" " "

3. There was a super awesome buddy who was bullied by seven or eight people in the street. When this guy left, he shouted, "Don't leave if you can. I'll call someone! " Then the buddy inexplicably found a dozen old men in their sixties and seventies, which scared the boys, let alone start work, and no one dared to approach.

Early in the morning, Xiao Deng Wang went to work and passed by the park. He saw an uncle playing Tai Chi. Xiao Deng was infected by the uncle's spirit. He had a whim and began to talk to uncle: uncle, you are in good health! The old man said to him cheerfully, yes, young man. Insist on regular exercise. You push me. Then, Xiao Deng paid the old man 30 thousand yuan.

At the beginning of school, my cousin and classmates told him to call his parents because of a fight. His cousin stubbornly said, no, I can hit him. The teacher said with a straight face that the one who fought with him had gone back to call his parents. Cousin hesitated, but still said, yes, I can play two.

6. When I was a child, my dad loved to play cards at my neighbor's house! My mother asked me to go to their house to have dinner with my father after cooking. There is a big wolf dog in my neighbor's house, and I am particularly afraid. I always run after calling my father's name with trepidation. Once I went there, the big German shepherd didn't tie it properly, and then I was chased all over the yard by the big German shepherd. My dad stood there laughing when he heard it. He picked up his mobile phone and took pictures of me and the big German shepherd. ...

Tell an appetizing joke first. All the people I want to meet are just not eating, or they should criticize women. It is said that a man traveled by air for the first time. As a result, he was a little airsick, and he finally wanted to throw up after several times. Seeing this, the stewardess quickly gave him a small bag. Boy, the bag is surging, and the stewardess will be full in an instant. Never spit on the plane, so he must restrain himself. I'll get you another bag right away. The man nodded and said yes. When the stewardess came again, my sky was in chaos, and he asked what was going on. The man said helplessly, "I didn't expect the bag to be full, so I took a few sips and threw up."