Sun Yifei: Shima, I don't want to disturb your dream.

Life has a dream, and ambition has a dream. His life is full of ideals and dreams of love.

"I left gently, just as I came gently, waving my sleeves without taking away a cloud." When I stepped into Xu Zhimo's former residence and saw the newly renovated exhibition hall, I couldn't help but think of Xu Zhimo's poems that have influenced generations of young people.

Xu Zhimo's former residence is located at No.38 Ganhe Street, Shi Xia Town, Haining City, Zhejiang Province. The outer wall of that western villa is piled with blue bricks and sealed with mortar. You don't need paint, let alone tiles. Only a few yellow bricks embedded in the wall are very beautiful, which adds a three-dimensional sense to the villa. The villa was originally the wedding room of the poet Xu Zhimo and his original wife Zhang Youyi. The perfect combination of this poet and talented woman became national news. Haining: Thanks to the achievements of his father Xu Shenru, Shi Xia has become the only way for the Shanghai-Hangzhou Railway. Light transportation brought many people into Haining, and Xu Shenru's influence linked Haining Shi Xia with the railway, making Haining Shi Xia the hub of China railway, especially a rehearsal on the Shanghai-Hangzhou railway. Because of Xu Zhimo's poems, the world knows Haining, which is famous for its treasures and literati. The reputation of Qiantang River flies like that poem, which makes this hometown in the south of the Yangtze River between Hangzhou and Shanghai full of mysterious colors. Perhaps Xu Zhimo didn't know or realize this before his death.

When I walked into Xu Zhimo's former residence, I felt an inexplicable excitement in the face of Xu Zhimo's vivid photos. I admired the poet's contribution to the development of China's new poetry, regretted the poet's short life, and admired the poet's rich emotional world. I don't know. In that suffocating air, he got rid of the pale classical Chinese and boldly used the vernacular Chinese with a rebellious heart, which created the vernacular era of poetry and led the development direction of modern new poetry. This is the eternal cultural wealth left by Xu Zhimo in his short life.

With wisdom, Xu Shenru connected Haining with Shanghai and Hangzhou by two railways, thus integrating into China's railway transportation network. But Xu Zhimo let Haining influence China with his inner emotional poetry culture, and "waved his sleeves" and flew to the other side of the ocean, becoming a cloud in the west. From this I want to say: Zhimo, your influence is no less than your father's.

I have studied the course of modern literature in China, saying that Xu Zhimo is the founder of New Moon magazine, a new poem in China, and the pioneer of bourgeois new poetry in China. Although this conclusion bears the brand of the times and is political, it does objectively affirm Xu Zhimo's role in China's poetry circles. Nowadays, the poetic circles that have forgotten this political color have achieved fruitful results, and people's hearts can fly freely between the lines, which is a kind of luck for literati.

Xu Zhimo's Oil Painting Hanging on the Wall is a masterpiece of Mr. Yang, a painter in Haining. He studied Xu Zhimo's life and life, especially the process of Xu Zhimo's study at Cambridge University in England. After careful design, the theme was determined: Xu Zhimo stood in Chi Pan, the arch bridge and temple behind him were clearly outlined, the trees on Dongshan Mountain in Haining were lush, and the Zhibiao Tower under the blue sky soared into the sky, loving life and pursuing a life of love.

For Xu Zhimo's life, it is a thrilling declaration of love, a helpless shackle, and a romantic and charming poet. Maybe everyone has their own opinions, but I don't think anyone needs to comment on Xu Zhimo in today's society. Modern research on Xu Zhimo is good, and the comments are also good. In fact, many of them are the subjective imagination of critics. They often determine the so-called theme first, and then look for bits and pieces of his life, and prove his "academic" point of view by piling up, and complete his research dream, which is either inconsistent with the facts or contrary to Zhimo's own creed. Just like when some writers become famous, when commenting on their writing skills, they make the writer fantastic, even a meaningless punctuation mark gives thousands of good reasons, which makes the writer feel at a loss and ridiculous. Writers may not consider these at all when writing, but the self-love of critics.

After all, we are not Xu Zhimo himself. We won't always understand and know the changes in his heart, so we don't need to draw conclusions for him today, let alone use a conclusion to judge a person's wonderful multi-faceted life. Xu Zhimo has his own life and his own way of living. With unruly pride, he lived his own personality and freedom, and lived a colorful dream of a short life. When he fell in love with Lu Xiaoman at first sight, we couldn't evaluate his marriage change with secular eyes. His marriage process is undoubtedly a flash of advanced cultural ideas. In modern language, this is a new pursuit. Just as his new poems created a lead in the 1920s and 1930s, his marriage is also a lead, a betrayal of the old view of marriage more than 80 years ago, and a treason, just like his vernacular poems. However, this surprising behavior is an improvement of young men and women's new marriage concept of pursuing freedom and happiness. With the changes of the times, this phenomenon has become commonplace in modern society, and people will no longer criticize it for various reasons.

Of course, this kind of marriage change still needed some courage at that time, especially a celebrity, a talent who grew up in a well-behaved family, which was a sin in the semi-feudal background of China at that time. Xu Zhimo is a scholar. Pursuing the happiness of life became his ideal dream, but it was shattered by reality. However, he is fearless and realizes his dream with action. He is completely bent on his own way, completely ignoring the opposition from his family and even completely ignoring the dissuasion of cultural celebrities in the same industry. In the face of Mei's mother's stubborn attitude and her husband's frown, he divorced pregnant Zhang Youyi. This attitude is really a kind of courage, secretive, thoughtful and admirable.

Xu Zhimo has many dreams. He flies like a bird in his dream. The pursuit of love makes Zhimo's dream meet the challenges of pain, hardship and wind and rain in his own way at the crossroads of life. Can dreams come true, can love be publicized to the world, and where will Zhimo go?

He "went to Lingyin alone, lying flat on the stone ridge under Gulei Pavilion, looking for a dream. I deliberately put your little red silk on my face, hoping that my beautiful girl will leave my soul and turn you into Gu Leiting to meet me! " . "When I was in Italy, I thought of God countless times. I either bite my arm hard or hit my chest with my fist until it really hurts. " Secret love is like a dream, and finally moved to heaven to make Xu Zhimo's dream come true, and he entered the marriage hall with Lu Xiaoman.

Xu Zhimo's father, Xu Shenru, resolutely disagreed with his son's marriage to Lu Xiaoman, and felt that his son's divorce was a rude violation, while marrying Lu Xiaoman, who divorced Wang Geng, was even more insulting. After mediation by Hu Shi, Liu Haisu and others, Xu Fu reluctantly agreed to his son's remarriage. However, he suggested that the wedding must be introduced by Hu Shi and witnessed by Liang Qichao, otherwise it would not be recognized.

192610.3 (the seventh day of the seventh lunar month) happens to be Valentine's Day in China. The annual meeting between Yong Dong and the Seven Fairies is a wonderful time for lovers to have a romantic date. On this day, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman held a grand wedding in Beijing Beihai Park. And Liang Qichao, the witness of this marriage, also left the only and unique marriage certificate in China history:

"In order to say a few unpleasant words, let the society know that such a bad example is not worth taking, and it is not worth encouraging-Xu Zhimo, you are impetuous, so that you can't learn anything, and you are a loser in life. Your divorce and remarriage are proof that you are not committed to your feelings!

Xiaoman, you and Xu Zhimo are both experienced people. I hope that from now on, you can follow the path of women and review your personality and behavior. Divorce and remarriage are all caused by your personality fault. I hope you don't repeat your mistakes.

Don't take selfishness as the criterion, don't take absurdity and pleasure as the purpose of life, don't treat marriage as a child's play, think that you can get married if you are happy, divorce if you are unhappy, make your parents feel ashamed, make your friends look down upon you, and make the society look at jokes! Anyway, I hope this is the last time you two get married in your life! This is my congratulations to you! -I've had enough! "

Where can Liang Qichao's wedding words be said to be, before me, all those lost years? I will never see him again. I think the greatest contribution of this wedding speech is not an admonition to Xu Zhimo, nor a reprimand to Xu Zhimo, but a true reflection of the feudal thought that imprisoned the freedom of marriage in China society at that time, that is, intellectuals who accepted the influence of western culture earlier, such as famous Chinese cultural scholars Wu Shi and Liang Qichao.

It is true that there are many rhetoric about Liang Qichao's wedding words in modern society. At that time, Liang Sicheng, the son of Liang Qichao, was in love with Lin, but Xu Zhimo had a spark in his heart that could start a prairie fire all over the world. Therefore, Liang Qichao may be afraid of emotional overflow and be afraid of getting married again one day.

two

A brand-new dream begins again here.

Standing in the wedding room of Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman, we are used to testing the love dream of Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman.

Pink furniture gives people a warm vision, creates a romantic atmosphere, is their love nest, and is also a concentrated place where Zhimo's romantic life dream can be realized. I don't know how they were inseparable in the room, how they confided in each other frankly and boldly, and how they told them about Liang Qichao's wedding words on their wedding night. A warm and romantic wedding room, in the later days, how did Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman contradict each other, and how did the fragrance room in the boudoir waft with the smell of opium, which finally made a generation of beautiful women become slaves to opium, which made people feel sorry?

Opposite the wedding room is Xu Zhimo's study, which was named Mei Xuan by Zhimo. The same pink furniture is suitable for wedding rooms. The writing desk, in particular, seems to be tailor-made for Xiaoman, full of femininity. Beautiful women sitting on it will form a realm of unity of characters. And Xu Zhimo sitting on it, it's really hard to agree. However, in Xu Zhimo's wedding dream, he was full of excitement about everything, and pink even inspired his romance and * * *. In the eyebrow room, he wrote the first article in his honeymoon diary, Mei Xuan Suoyu. Romantic * * * let him open the floodgates, love letters and diaries to Xiaoman, but also left Xu Zhimo's deep love for Lu Xiaoman, leaving a farewell song in the cabin.

This is the practical achievement of Xu Zhimo's pursuit of life and love dreams.

Strolling to the second floor, there is a gargle jar and a 40 cm washbasin in the wing next to the stairs, which looks like blue and white porcelain in the Republic of China. Unfortunately, this gargle jar was repaired with a traditional copper nail bowl in China. Outside, you can clearly see a copper nail, like a staple, with its feet straddling the broken seam of porcelain, and going deep inside to join the two pieces of porcelain together.

My friend Gao told me that this is the vessel used by Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman, which was collected from Shanghai. At the beginning of May, 2007, Mr. Zhang, the president of Haining Celebrity Research Association, provided information that the famous Shanghai woman writer Ding knew the whereabouts of two pieces of porcelain used by Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman when they lived in Shanghai, and was willing to introduce and help Haining Museum to collect them. After hearing the news, Gao, then director of the museum, Tan Jingyi and Zhang, deputy directors of the Cultural Bureau, made a special trip to Shanghai to visit Ms. Ding on the 30th, and met with Ms. Weng Xiangguang, a cultural relic collector, accompanied by her. Ding has been interested in writing biographies for modern cultural women and "talented women in the Republic of China" since he set foot in the study of modern literature in China in the 1970s. She met Weng Xiangguang through an interview and became a frequent visitor to her home. Weng Xiangguang died at the age of 88. Before retiring, I worked in Shanghai High Court. His father Weng Wurui had a close relationship with Xu Zhimo and his wife Lu Xiaoman in his early years, so he kept in touch with Lu Xiaoman after Xu Zhimo's death. Weng Xiangguang said that in his early years, Xu Zhimo bought four "Oriental" porcelains from England. Two pieces of Lu Xiaoman have been transferred to others, and their whereabouts are unknown. Two pieces of porcelain collected at home were given to my father by Lu Xiaoman, and have been preserved to this day. The porcelain bottom is in a foreign language and should be made in Japan, but it has not been finally identified.

Although the collection process is quite tortuous, it is gratifying to return the items used by this famous poet to his family. Zhang, Tan Jingyi and Gao Shenshen, who have made great efforts for this, have contributed greatly.

Seeing things and thinking about people, I think: Zhimo and Xiaoman are so celadon. Although it has been scarred, it is still so bright and so loved.

Standing in the courtyard at the entrance of the gate, the colorful glass on the window of the landing hall is embedded in the middle of the pane. It is said that stained glass is imported from Italy and original. I don't know if it's true or not. Of course, originality is not important. What is worth remembering is that the owner of this western villa, when he was in his prime, learned from the reality of blowing in the wind. At the moment, I am standing in the yard, holding my head high and looking at the sky from that square space. It's sunny outside, and a few white clouds are floating in the sky from time to time, which may be an extravagant hope in recent years. I can't help but wonder if Zhimo once stood in the courtyard like me, enjoying the white clouds and letting his thoughts fly with them, thus creating many well-known poems-poems that can still be called the essence today.

I am a cloud in the sky,

Occasionally projected into your heart—

You don't have to be surprised,

There's no need to be happy-

It disappeared in an instant.

You and I met in the dark sea,

You have yours, I have mine, direction;

You remember it well,

You'd better forget,

The light that shines on each other at this intersection.

An "accident" makes boys and girls crazy.

Just like Zhimo's own state of mind, I like the white clouds in the sky and let my heart fly freely in the sky like clouds.

three

Everyone will have dreams and will integrate their ideals and artistic conception into their consciousness. Zhimo, too, has been flying her dreams all the time in her short life.

Xu Zhimo had many unremitting pursuits in his life, and his romantic thoughts filled him with enthusiasm, hope and persistence in his new life, which made the development of poetry reach a new level.

Dreams fly out of the chest, hovering in the air but lingering in the heart.

193 1 year1month 19, the day when dreams fly in the air, let Zhimo live forever.

Lin's speech became the driving force of Zhimo's trip, and he dreamed that he could become a loyal listener and devout admirer of this talented woman. Ten years of acquaintance, let them have too many * * * in the same language and have a little unspeakable feelings that others can't understand. Shima sent a telegram to Lin Weiyin, telling him that he was going to listen to her speech.

He was so excited that night. Maybe he greeted the rooster's dawn in a happy dream. When his dream was still in his mind, he got on the postal plane and went to a place where beautiful and happy thoughts have been rippling in his heart.

At 9 o'clock in the morning on the 19th, Xu Zhimo sent a telegram to Lin again at Nanjing Airport, saying that he would arrive at Nanyuan on time at 3 o'clock in the afternoon and asked her to send a car to pick him up. But there was no news of the plane until 4: 30 in the afternoon, which made people uneasy and finally got the bad news that the foggy plane crashed into the mountain in Jinan.

"I will visit my only soul mate in the vast sea of people: I am lucky to get it, but nothing more."

Shima is still dreaming on the plane. The heavy rain hit the fuselage, but it was like Xu Zhimo's excited heartbeat. There was confusion outside the window, and the haze of the sky could not stop his dream. He has his own direction, and that is Lin's live speech. Finally, the plane kissed the mountain in the fog, and Zhimo kept a beautiful speech scene in his heart and got eternal life in his dream.

Shima, your dream is an eternal dream. Standing in the background at that time and from your perspective, you can clearly see your pure feelings and enthusiasm for your friends. I understand your mood and your emotional pursuit. I don't want to comment on your dream, for fear of waking you up from a sweet dream.

Mo Chi had a dream, and the dream had telepathy, so did his good friend Lin Weiyin.

Lin wrote in the article "Mourning for Zhimo after the accident": "Zhimo, my friend, death is just a new journey. We have never been there, so we can't help but have too many doubts about it. Death is more painful than this. We can't easily conclude that there is no sunshine and human comfort, but what I said earlier is the silence of memories. ..... many days after that, when I miss you, I'm afraid it's all dark pain, and there won't be any light unless I have your beautiful poetic belief. " A heartfelt word vividly expressed the deep feelings between Lin and Xu Zhimo. This is a frank expression between friends who can talk to each other. We don't need to think too much about the relationship between them, just understand.

On the occasion of the fourth anniversary of Zhimo's death, Lin wrote in Random Thoughts: "Today last year, I happened to pass by your hometown. In the dim night, I stood outside the independent train door, staring at the dark platform, silently recalling many discontinuous fragments of the past ... If my tears flowed involuntarily at that time, I know you will forgive me. "

Zhimo will understand the meaning of her dream. Perhaps, the soul and the dream are always together.

four

At the foot of Xishan Mountain in Haining City, Xu Zhimo's tomb is among the trees on this hillside. As a native of Haining, I feel sorry for Xu Zhimo, but I am also happy to have such an outstanding poet. I have visited the poet Xu Zhimo many times, looking for his poetic soul in front of his tombstone, and I miss this fellow who has made great contributions to China's poetry. Where the soul belongs, the dream lives. I know that the dream of Zhimo was also stationed here.

Zhimo Tomb is a cenotaph moved from Dongshan. 193 1 year 1 month 65438+9 days Xu zhimo was killed in an air crash in Jinan, Shandong province. After his coffin was transported back to Haining on 1932, his family buried him in Wanshiwo, Dongshan Town, Shi Xia, Haining County. The tomb was built by his father Xu Shenru at the request of local craftsmen, and Wu inscribed the tombstone "The Tomb of Poet Xu Zhimo". 1946 Zhang Zongxiang, a famous calligrapher, wrote a tombstone for Xu Zhimo's tomb.

Every year, on the anniversary of death, many lovers of Xu Zhimo's poems at home and abroad will go there to pay homage.

According to Wu, Xu Zhimo's cousin and the daughter of Wu Qichang, a famous scholar, there is a square stone tablet next to Xu Zhimo's tomb in Dongshan, on which Ling Shuhua, Xu Zhimo's confidante and talented woman, wrote "Leng Yue is the soul of poetry" for him. Unfortunately, with the change of time, the stone tablet "Leng Yue reflects the soul of poetry" has long since disappeared, leaving only people's memories.

Ling Shuhua, an outstanding woman and a heterosexual confidant who left a mark in Xu Zhimo's dream, once shone brilliantly in Xu Zhimo's life. Some people in modern times interpret Xu Zhimo's life as the story of a man and three women, which makes people feel indignant. Not to mention that researchers don't understand Zhimo's personality, but only see the appearance of his communication with girls, so they blindly ponder his thoughts with that kind of secular eyes, and regard pure male-female communication as a man's ulterior motive and an affair with a change of heart. They don't analyze Zhimo's true feelings, good wishes and good pursuits under the background at that time, let alone think about Zhimo's pursuit of his own human freedom and rebellion against feudal society. Ling Shuhua is the fourth woman in Shima's life. In his mind, she can be compared with Lin, perhaps to some extent, she has more feelings and trust.

Xu Zhimo appreciates Ling Shuhua's talent and personality very much. In his contacts with Ling Shuhua, he always had a dream. With absolute trust in her, he kept his "treasure chest" in Ling Shuhua twice for her to keep, but the "treasure chest" contained his love diary and secrets, and even had his infatuated dreams. This kind of trust has gone beyond people's conventional understanding. How pure is it? It was a sincere and suffocating trust and a frank feeling, because he realized that "only L is the only beneficial true friend."

Ling Shuhua's first novel "Flower Temple" came out, and Xu Zhimo willingly prefaced her, which was the only time in his life that he prefaced others. It can be said that Xu Zhimo gave his love diary and 120 secrets to Ling Shuhua safely, just like putting his heart in a transparent glass bottle and giving it to Ling Shuhua. This is the most wonderful dream of Xu Zhimo's life, and it also leaves the world with the most touching and beautiful legend among friends of the opposite sex. Of course, this is still a mystery in Zhimo's life.

It can be said that in the vast world, Xu Zhimo kept his dream by Ling Shuhua's side, but it fluttered with the wind, looking for the eternal space and fixed it in the eternity of history.

1933 during the Qingming period, Lu Xiaoman came to Wanshiwo, Dongshan, Haining, and when he visited Zhimo's grave, he left a poem with mixed feelings: "The heartbroken man has lost his heart for a long time. In recent years, I have realized the cold taste. I wrote that mountains and lakes are always lonely. "

During the Cultural Revolution, Xu Zhimo's grave was not spared. 1966 In the middle of the night, Xu Zhimo's grave was bombed. Fortunately, the tombstone was moved to the river to make a stone harbor step, which was well preserved.

1983, Xu Zhimo's tomb was rebuilt in Haining, and Mr. Chen Congzhou was asked to be in charge of Shi Xia, and he was asked to be re-buried in drawing paper and in the western foothills. The tomb is about the same size as the original tomb, but the bones have long since disappeared. There is only one chronicle of Xu Zhimo in the tomb. The epitaph was written by Chen Congzhou, written by Jiang Qiting and sealed by Wang Yuntian. Now it stands in front of his tombstone.

Xu Zhimo's Poetry Festival has been held in Haining for several times. Poets all over the world use poetry to recall his artistic conception and feel the beauty of poetry. Many times, in the morning exercise, I walked in the western hills and often thought of this outstanding poet. The trees in the foothills are lush and the graves are still silent, but there are more wreaths for poetry lovers to remember the poets.

I made a deep bow to this poet to express my memory of this famous poet in my hometown.

The soul goes with the dream, and the grave is safe. Shima, I don't want to disturb your dream.