How to deal with children with sensitive personalities

Last year during the Mid-Autumn Festival, I had a gathering with a group of friends. Among the dozen or so people there was a three-year-old boy named Kexin. Because it was one of the birthdays, a big birthday cake was placed on the table. Like all children, Xiao Kexin was always concerned about when to eat the cake. Finally it was time to eat cake. After eating a large piece of cake, Xiao Kexin suddenly became unhappy and clamored to leave. It turned out that an uncle who was very familiar with Xiao Kexin made a joke and smeared cream on Xiao Kexin's face, creating a "cream face". No one noticed, they just talked and laughed, but Kexin felt that everyone was embarrassed because of this. Laughing at him, his self-esteem was severely bruised.

The uncle who was joking quickly made amends. He first stopped an aunt who was trying to explain, then took the cake, happily dipped the cake in the cream and smeared it on his face twice. He happily showed off his little painted face and asked Xiao Kexin: "Does it look good? Haha, it's fun." Everyone laughed, and Xiao Kexin also laughed. Mom said: "Uncle is playing with you, no one is there." Even if he laughs at you, no one will laugh at him." A small storm passed smoothly. The uncle's timely remedy avoided leaving a shadow on the child's young mind.

In addition to the above incident, I have also experienced other ways to "amuse" children in the past few days. For example, when I went to my husband's colleague's house, I saw that the three-year-old boy Hu Bo had many toys. The guest joked: "You have so many cars, give me one." Hu Bo stood beside his mother without saying a word and looked at the guest warily. Hu Bo's father said smoothly: "Give uncle one, don't be so stingy." I quickly interrupted: "This is Hu Bo's thing. Hu Bo doesn't have to give it to him. This is not stingy."

Next There are many festivals: Teachers' Day, Mid-Autumn Festival, and National Day... gatherings between relatives and friends are indispensable during festivals, but at least you must pay attention to:

★ Try to recall, you can find that many people have memories He also deeply retains some unpleasant childhood events, such as his father snatching a cicada he caught and throwing it on the roof, his mother scolding him with a word that included the word "death", and being bullied by a boy and being bullied by a teacher. Sit back and do nothing... To still clearly remember these little things after so many years is enough to show that I have been hurt by it, and this kind of hurt will subtly affect interpersonal relationships.

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So, when you don’t understand the child’s personality characteristics, what kind of jokes should be made as little as possible? For example, don’t take the child’s own things casually, and don’t ask for things from the child. To test whether the child is "generous", especially the things the child likes; do not laugh at the child's physical characteristics, such as a larger head, a special hairstyle, and missing several teeth; do not use threats to ask the child to get close, "call aunt, call Ah, or I will take away your car." "Come, come to uncle. If you don't come, uncle will arrest you." Then make a fierce look on your face; don't deliberately tease, let the child "make a fool of himself", and then "see the joke", Especially in crowded situations...

★Educate children by example rather than words. For example, "Don't just ask for other people's things." Everyone will tell children this; but when adults "tease" children and ask for his toy cars, If he doesn't give it and is criticized by his father for being "stingy", the child's thinking will be confused. Or discover: Adults can take other people’s things! Children’s behavior is learned, so when children are present, adults must pay attention to their words and deeds.

★Parents must be able to protect their children. Chinese people pay attention to face. Even if they feel that something inappropriate is done by their friends to "tease" their children, they are too embarrassed to stop it. The child's soul will be sacrificed. Parents are reminded that they should still gently stop relatives and friends who "tease" their children. If they are too embarrassed, they might as well distract their attention or find a reason to hold their children away. For example, Hu Bo's father can say to his colleagues: "Don't tease him, he doesn't understand what a joke is." Or he can say to Hu Bo: "These cars belong to Hu Bo. You can give them to your uncle or not." Uncle, you decide for yourself. "When a child shows bad emotions, they must be remedied in time. Uninformed parents should gently ask the child why he is unhappy, listen to the child's tantrum, and then try to solve it.

Sometimes the setting of a scene should be better than the explanation of words. For example, the uncle's treatment of Xiao Kexin mentioned above is more clever and effective. Sometimes children don't want to tell it, and parents don't have to force it. They just say: "Okay, this is your secret, you don't have to tell it; tell me when you want to say it."