Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Who can tell me some jokes? . . . Useful! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Oh

Who can tell me some jokes? . . . Useful! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Oh

1, Dad: "Why don't you quit smoking at a young age?"

Son: "You have been smoking for decades, why don't you quit?"

Dad: "I am old. It doesn't matter whether I quit or not. "

Son: "I'm still young, and it's not too late to quit later."

After dinner, the father asked his son, "Did the teacher leave homework today?"

The son replied, "Yes."

Dad sighed and said, "Alas, it's time to wash the dishes again."

At the reception, a woman asked the man next to her, "Who is that ugly guy across the street?"

"It's my brother." The man replied.

The woman said, "I'm sorry, you look so alike." Why didn't I see it? "

4. A young man tried to tell his beloved girl.

"Although I am not as rich as Bill; Although I don't have the luxury car owned by Bill; Although I can't buy you beautiful diamonds and pearls like Bill. But I love you. "

The girl said, "Is Bill married?"

The woman sitting behind me with a little boy looks familiar. In order to get close to her, I said ingratiatingly, "Hello! This little guy looks just like your husband. "

The woman looked at me strangely and replied, "This is my neighbor's child."

1. A man said to his girlfriend, "Dear, I dreamed of you last night. I built a love hut in your heart that belongs to both of us."

The girlfriend said, "Oh, is it true?"

The man said, "It's true!"

My girlfriend said, "I'm so touched, but the hut you built is illegal-built-built!" " "

When I was looking for a cotton pajamas in the shopping mall, I decided to try my luck in a shop famous for sexy lingerie. To my delight, I just found what I was looking for.

While waiting in line for payment, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a young lady behind me was holding a nightgown just like mine.

This naturally confirms my consistent idea that although I am over 50, I can still keep pace with the times.

"I think we have the same taste." I proudly said to the girl in her twenties behind me.

"Yes," she replied, "I bought this for grandma."

A female classmate of my university immigrated to America. When she arrived, she planted leeks in the backyard. On this day, jiaozi was about to cut it, but the neighbors immediately called the police and said that she abused the children and gave them grass to eat! So the police uncle came at lightning speed. My classmate explained it for hours. Finally, she was helpless. She gave the police a plate of jiaozi stuffed with leeks, eggs and shrimp to solve the problem. ...

1, the furthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, not where you are going, but I am standing at the door of a bus, but you can't get on it. ...

2. All three brothers in the family have successful careers. The eldest runs a private enterprise, the second is a state-owned enterprise, and the third works in the National Development and Reform Commission. On his deathbed, the old man said he had a last wish. He hoped that everyone would put 10 thousand yuan to accompany him on the road when he was cremated, and all three brothers agreed. When the old man died, the three brothers stepped forward in turn: the boss put in 10 thousand cash, the second put in 10 thousand check, and the third put in 30 thousand check while crying, and exchanged the cash with the second check.

3, the bridge collapsed, experts say that quality has nothing to do! High housing prices, experts say it has nothing to do with land prices! Debris flow, experts say it has nothing to do with vegetation! Early development, experts say it has nothing to do with milk powder! The expert's wife is pregnant, and everyone says it has nothing to do with the expert …

4. Drinking is the bottom of society, and drinking cards is the top of society;

It is the bottom of society that wants a wife, and it is the top of society that wants a lover;

Farming is the bottom of society, and buying and selling land is the top of society;

Pigs are the bottom of society and dogs are the top.

The old man went to buy vegetables and was picking vegetables. Suddenly, the vegetable seller said, "Hurry up, the city management will come soon."

The old man said, "I want to hurry, too." I came late, afraid that the house would be demolished. "