Why do our parents always like to rush marriage?

Lead: I called my best friend at the weekend and exchanged a few pleasantries. To cut to the chase, she complained about her mother's distress in urging marriage. I can only help comfort her, not make the relationship between mother and daughter tense.

I have been pushing this matter for three years. At first, it was just mentioned on holidays. Later, going online directly became a task. Originally it was just an annual reminder, because the whole family lived in Beijing, and later it became a daily reminder.

I used to expect to choose a good son-in-law, but finally I just said to bring the man back first. Of course, my best friend's personal conditions are all good. She has a standard model figure as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, a Tang Wei-style literary model, a standard American English that we can't catch up with, and her key work ability is also very powerful, which is simply perfect!

Even so, my mother was in a hurry. Every conversation, any topic unrelated to marriage, can finally be successfully transferred to the issue of marriage by her mother.

I believe it is normal for such a situation to happen around us. Even many unmarried girls have changed from bystanders in the past to clients today, and even girls who have stepped into the besieged city are facing such an embarrassing situation.

In China, if you reach the normal age of marriage and childbearing, but haven't completed the traditional life events, you will definitely face such a situation. If at this age, no one has been urged to get married by their parents, it can only show that their parents are the best and enlightened!

Why do our parents generally like to urge marriage? First, I really care about my child's future life.

As parents, most of them love their children. Of course, there are exceptions to everything. If children are old enough to talk about marriage but don't get married, in the eyes of parents, they will die sooner or later, which is the natural law.

However, there are only children left in the world. They are ill and no one takes care of them. Without the warmth of their families, they are very busy every day. People have no children and daughters, and they can't let go of the lonely sunset.

I once read an article about parents urging marriage because they were afraid that their children would have a bad time alone. As long as they have a good life, parents will not rush to get married.

This is just a superficial understanding. What parents see is not the quality of life in front of them, but more importantly, they are worried that their children will be old and unaccompanied in the future. Therefore, no matter how well you live, your parents will still urge you to get married, which has nothing to do with your ability to stand in society.

I have also seen parents with excellent children and high social status urging marriage, so this reason is not comprehensive.

Second, I am worried about the pressure of children's fertility and the difficulty of raising them.

The language of the logo? You are not getting married now. Children are born in their thirties and forties. When I was in my fifties and sixties, I was still running for my children. Their children have long been married. See how hard you work. ?

For women, from a physiological point of view, the age of 24 to 28 is the golden period of childbirth. In the future, it will really bring some influence because of age. Of course, with the improvement of medical care and living standards, old age has also been delayed a lot.

? Of course, from the perspective of child-rearing, parents think that children should get married and have children early, so as not to worry about their study and life when they are old enough to live independently.

As parents, this kind of intergenerational worry is a bit far away, but who let them be our parents?

Third, traditional ideas.

? There are three unfilial, no queen. The wheel of history is rolling forward, and it has never crushed this sentence.

It is not surprising that this sentence appeared in 2 1 century. Many parents think that they didn't meet the third generation earlier and are afraid to see their ancestors again later.

There's a joke about forced marriage recently? Don't go back to the grave without a girlfriend? Tomb-Sweeping Day hasn't made friends yet, so he won't come back to worship grandpa. Can you live up to your dead grandfather?

Don't be ridiculous. In reality, many parents have this idea to some extent, so they encourage their children to have children. I'll bring it to you as soon as it's born? This sentence must be familiar to everyone. Whether or not to bring it in the future is another matter.

So parents will also urge their children to get married as soon as possible because they are eager to be grandparents.

Fourth, age and the pressure of social competition.

When men get married, so do women. Parents think that the older their children are, the more difficult it is to find a good partner, fearing that high-quality objects will be picked away. There is news that as soon as the children go to college, parents begin to arrange blind dates.

? Isn't it just worrying that children will have no choice in the end? Of course, age is indeed one of the criteria for choosing a spouse.

Therefore, the realistic pressure and competition force parents not to let their children face this situation. So I hope my children will choose an object to get married as soon as possible.

Fifth, parents want to uninstall early? False responsibility?

What do you mean? False responsibility? In China, there is chaos between parents and children. In the eyes of parents, the child's growth is not in accordance with the legal age, whether he graduated from college, whether he is economically independent, and whether he has the ability to settle down.

? But whether a child is married or not is judged by the sign of marriage and family. If their children are not married and married, parents subconsciously think that their children are just children. Do parents need to worry about their behavior and their future? Responsible? . Because they will worry about their children's present situation, they can't enjoy their life with open arms.

Typical sentence? When you get married, this is your life. As parents, we don't care about anything Whether your life is good or bad. ?

Because they want to unload the burden that they mistakenly think is on their shoulders (of course, this burden is put on their shoulders by their parents themselves), they are eager to let their children get married as soon as possible.

Sixth, long-term pressure.

? You see the third aunt next door is asking me why you don't get married, and your second aunt is asking me why I don't get married, because I am surrounded by leftover women. I'm embarrassed to answer. Marry yourself quickly, or I can't wash my ears. ? This is what parents often nag in single girls's ear.

In fact, parents can understand that the reason why children have not entered the marriage hall is that fate has not arrived and they have not met the right person. The secular concept between relatives, friends and sisters-in-law or the speculation behind their children's physical or mental health make parents feel that they can't lift their heads.

As parents, in the face of secular pressure, they will transfer their emotions or pressure to their children, so parents have to urge their children to get married as soon as possible under the pressure of secular public opinion.

I once saw a movie "beginning of spring", which happened in a small northern county in the 1990s. There is a clip in which a male dance teacher has always loved his dance career. Because the marriage was not long, the whole family was ridiculed and accused by people around them, and they were exhausted. Later, he deliberately created an illusion of molesting women in order to stop people from talking about his unmarried situation.

Later, he stayed in Qin Cheng and a female music teacher went to see him. Instead, comfort the female teacher and say? Don't worry about me, I can still dance here with peace of mind, and no one laughs at me anymore. ? It makes me feel very sad in an instant.

? In the secular world, it is very difficult to be yourself and maintain a unique state. As long as you are different from others, you will be criticized by people around you. Such pressure is unbearable for anyone.

Like Venus said? Why should I try to make myself successful first? Because only if I succeed can others accept my differences. ?

These are the reasons why parents urge marriage. China's parents have been breaking their hearts for their children all their lives. To some extent, urging marriage is also a way for them to express their love, because they don't want their fears to come true.

Therefore, I hope that as children, when facing the problem of urging marriage, we should try our best to communicate with our parents in a more harmonious way, understand their good intentions, and never break their hearts with ugly words.

Of course, parents' worries and considerations are also very reasonable. We should look at life together. After all, they have rich life and life experience, and we can't reject their suggestions because of the changes of the times.

At the same time, I also hope that parents can understand their children's arrangements and pursuits for their own lives. After all, marriage is not shopping. If it fails, you can return it, or you can.

The happiness of a lifetime is only suitable for ourselves, and we can't force it. Happiness needs waiting. We have no regrets about the life we choose, whether it is good or bad!