Children's humorous jokes

A complete collection of humorous jokes for children

Do you like making friends with humorous people as much as I do, because you are happy every day. In fact, you can be that kind of person, as long as you know one or two sentences or classic funny jokes. The following is a selection of humorous jokes for children, which I compiled for you, for reference only, hoping to help you. Children's humor paragraph 1

1. I met two children squatting in the toilet, about the first and second grades.

one of them said, "I know why it's steaming when shit comes out. Because we eat while it is hot, it is hot when we pull it out. If you eat a popsicle, it will be cold when you pull it out. "

The other one nodded adoringly ...

2. Xiao Ming was peeing in the toilet. Xiaoqiang pulled down Xiao Ming's pants from behind and ran away smiling.

Xiao Ming ran to the head teacher's office to complain. Xiao Ming: Miss Wang, Xiaoqiang pulled down my pants ...

Head teacher: Well, take your time, please put your pants up first ...

3.

A little boy was criticizing his sister when he saw several children quarreling in the corridor.

another younger boy echoed, "That is, you were his last lover!"

Little sister turned her head and said angrily, "He is not single-minded to his mother! I already have you two, and I still have me, and I don't forget my old lover! "

4. Chop the meat. The eight-year-old daughter is very sensible and says, Mom, take a break and I'll chop it!

I was afraid that she would hurt her hand, so I wanted to watch. My daughter reassured me and pushed me out of the kitchen!

When I walked and lamented that my daughter had really grown up, I heard her muttering while chopping meat: With so much homework on holiday, Miss Li chopped you, Miss Zhang and Miss Zhao ... Dang, dang, dang, that hard! ..................................................................................................................................................................................

My son agreed. At this moment, I pushed the door and came in. My son whispered to me with a bowl: Dad, I will reward you with a dollar for eating this bowl of rice.

2. My friend came to my house to tease my three-year-old son, saying that I dare to call your father's name. Do you dare?

Then I heard my son say tactfully, I dare to call him Dad. Do you dare?

3. Today, when I was lying in bed after taking a shower, I looked at my calves and said to my husband, look at my ketone body, which exudes attractive luster.

The four-year-old daughter next to her said, Is it a bucket of water?

come here, mom won't hit you!

4. The neighbor has a 16-year-old daughter who is very cute. She likes to tease her at ordinary times and asks her, "Little sister, do you look like your father or mother?"

"My upper body is like my father, and my lower body is like my mother ~"

I ...

My 5-and 5-year-old daughter was making trouble in the morning, and my wife was angry and said, "I haven't had a good day since I gave birth to you. You are the third party between me and your father."

My daughter said confidently, "I was my father's lover in a previous life, and you are his wife now. You are the third party if you come late!" Children's Humor Piece 3

1. Dad: Xiaobao, the exam is coming. Are you all ready?

Xiao Bao: Dad, don't worry, I'm already ready!

dad: that's good.

Xiao Bao: But Dad, can you give me a few hundred more dollars? I have no money!

dad: where is the money I gave you?

Xiao Bao: I spent it preparing for the exam! Send my deskmate 3 and my teacher 5 ...

2. Grandma said to her grandson, "If we don't study well again, we'll have to pick shit when we grow up."

Grandson confidently said to Grandma, "Grandma, don't worry, I can carry it."

3. Last night, I was enjoying the cool on the campus bench. A mother and son were nearby. My mother asked shota to call and ask when my father would come back.

It's estimated that your mother said, and her mother said, Speak for me.

shota's face suddenly became angry and serious, and she shouted at the phone: If you don't come back at 1 o'clock, you'll die outside, you bastard. If you don't come back soon, you won't want to go to my mother's bed at night, and then you will die.

Mom looked smug ...

4. One day, a mother took her daughter to dinner, and her daughter said, "Mommy, Mommy, why do those waitress sisters have to wear masks?"

"Oh, this is what the boss asked them to take for fear that they would steal food."

"Hum, no wonder you have to wear a mask every time you brush the toilet."

pa ... woo hoo ... children's humor jokes 4

1. Today, a father and son came to the store to buy an iPhone. The son is just like a junior high school student. When paying the money, the son said that his father, with your IQ, bought a smart phone. Then his father said that we all laughed and told his son that you have a high IQ, but you can't afford it ...

2. Just on the subway, a sister paper suddenly shouted, "What are you staring at my chest, rogue!" Then all the people looked over, and a man, sweating and embarrassed, was pulled away by his friend. I only heard his friend say, "What are you staring at her for? Not beautiful, not full! " The man said aggrieved that it is rare to see anyone wearing such a low chest without a little gap, so I want to look for it carefully.

3. I was very nervous when I had an operation. The handsome doctor asked me, "Don't be nervous, why don't you play a song?" My heart is full of gratitude! Then I heard: "My friend, you are leaving today, so drink this cup of wine ..."

4. I always miss the unbroken love between my high school and my deskmate. Now I'm 4 years old and haven't been in love. My parents arrange blind dates for me everywhere. One day, my mother called to say that she had arranged a blind date, and went to see that the girl was actually my high school deskmate! My excited head was hot and I asked falteringly, "Are you all right?" She bowed her head and said, "Is that you want to have a blind date with my daughter?

5. When I was in college, I got hemorrhoids. Seriously, I often have blood on my underwear! I went to the playground to play ball that day and stole my girlfriend's sanitary towel and put it in my underwear! I am a good player, and sometimes I get applause from my classmates watching the game! Just after a beautiful layup, I felt something slipping from my thigh. Looking back, it was a sanitary towel with blood! That's embarrassing, it's not picking it up, and it's not picking it up! I really want to find a crack in the ground, and I became famous the next day.

6. Recently, due to heavy workload, I often feel hungry and don't want to eat snacks, so I often go to a fruit stand near the construction site to buy fruit to eat. There are many people in the dormitory, and I always buy ten kilograms. This afternoon, I went to buy half a box of oranges. When I checked out, the little girl selling fruit whispered to me, "I have a boyfriend."

7. My wife was pregnant, and I asked, "Is it good to have a boy and a girl?"

wife: "if it's yours, it's good. What do you choose?"

I was lost in thought ......

8. During the Spring Festival, an old classmate sent me a message of blessing. I thought his writing was good, so I changed my name and sent it to the group.

As a result, he replied to me: "Shit, I copied my homework when I was a child, and I have to copy my text messages when I grow up. Can you be shameless!"

9. When a buddy got married, the host asked him to sing a song to express his love for his wife. This buddy sang: A gentle kiss has touched my heart.

At this moment, I saw the bride slap her face and say, Who is Qingqing? ! !

1. M: Hi! Beauty, are you a sheep?

female: wow! You are so awesome! This can all be seen

M: There! I smelled it!

11. In the supermarket, a child took my hand and said, "Uncle, can you take me home? My mother and I have been separated."

I asked him, "Aren't you afraid that I will sell you?"

The child said, "My mother said that ugly people are kind."

12. I went on a blind date two days ago, and both girls and I felt good! So I invited her to sing, and I called a few friends. One of them came late and came to me and said: You are so boring, calling a young lady is so ugly ... Children's humor jokes 5

First, when I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I found that the whole world could not save me ...

Second, if my salary could rise as fast as the house price?

Third, when I took the bus today, a girl came up, dressed in fashion, with an Apple 6 in her mobile phone. The driver braked once, and the person behind her touched her a lot, so she grabbed the family and scolded her, saying what to do if she broke her Apple phone. Can you afford it? She kept chattering ... Then the driver braked again, and the woman's phone fell to the ground and even the battery fell out ...

Fourth, she angered her girlfriend again, and it was useless to apologize. She was at home angrily. I want to buy an expensive thing! As soon as I heard it, it turned around! Spend money to eliminate disasters! Immediately say: ok! I'll go shopping with you. Then we went to the commodity market and bought a washboard.

5. I was happy to collect money when I was a child, and suddenly one day my mother and father cried that they had been too poor recently. I gritted my teeth and took out my big bill! I was only four years old then! Mom, are you going to hit me like this? Isn't it printed with 5 million? I didn't know it was burning!

six, often eat in a restaurant, the boss is an uncle and an aunt, and a pregnant woman. Once at dinner, I suddenly asked, "Aunt, this is your daughter-in-law!" " Aunt said, "How do you know?" I said, "If you are a daughter, how can you come out to help if you are pregnant!"

7. Today, I have a blind date with a beautiful girl! In an elegant coffee shop, the chat was very good and speculative! Sister's phone rang, and the bell rang: Long live Demacia. A text message came from my mobile phone, and the ringtone was Noxas. Sister answered the phone and told me decisively that we were not suitable!

8. When I love you, I am what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

9. The teacher brought 11 apples to class and asked, "There are 12 of us. How can we divide these 11 apples?" Xiao Gang said, "Try to eat." Xiaohong said, "Everyone has a bite." Xiao Ming stood up and said, "You want me to get out of here and say clearly, don't play dirty with me ..." Teacher: "Get out without being pressed!"

teacher: Xiao Ming, tell me why the dog sticks its head out of the window when riding in the car. Xiao Ming: SB, if you put you in a car full of dogs, you will stick your head out of the window! Teacher: Get out!

eleven, take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, so that you won't be short of calcium.

12. Today is my wife's birthday. Considering all the care and thoughtfulness she has shown me over the years, I also took out a year's private savings and bought her a pair of the most beautiful gloves.

XIII. The classroom is where the living stay. If you are too noisy, you can go to the morgue.

XIV. I used to take beautiful pictures, but now I am getting uglier and uglier. Colleagues said faintly: Now the pixels are getting higher and higher.

15. Xiaoming was called to the office by the teacher today. Teacher: Why do you always go against me? Xiaoming: You can do it from behind! Teacher: Get out! Don't come to school in the future! ! !

16. It's raining hard outside. Here's an umbrella. Don't catch a cold. What about you? I'll take a taxi.

17. Money is not the problem, but there is no money!

18. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

19. You are so fierce to me that you expect me to speak softly to you, aren't you?

twenty, although the famous flower is taken, I'll loosen the soil!

twenty-one, the shrimp saw the dragon walking in the middle of the road and honked its horn in a hurry, but it still hit the dragon. The shrimp looked at the dragon as if it looked familiar and asked, "Hi, are you a dragon?" The dragon looked at the shrimp and asked, "Do you shrimp?" Then they got into a fight.

twenty-two, I saw a couple making out on the road. So I ran to the boy's paper and said, Brother, today's sister is not as beautiful as yesterday's ... Children's humor jokes 6

1. The wind tugged at people's clothes, took off their headscarves, and the sand shot at people's eyes.

2. Everything around Zhou roared, swayed, and swayed happily. The soft tip of the tail grass swayed gracefully, trying to enjoy the wind ... but it suddenly died down and everything was quiet again.

3. Some people always complain that life is too dull and tasteless. In fact, real life is like a small boat, and it can't stand the wind and waves. I'd rather wander carefree in this calm.

4. It is always accompanied by this typhoon. Grandpa Lei and grandma Dian are a couple. There was a big fight. The heavy rain took the couple as if to engulf the whole world. However, it is a paper tiger, and it looks fierce, but it can't jump for a few days.

5. It's a beautiful day today. It rains again. The sun comes out again. Typhoon again.

6. Who, like me, thanked the typhoon for giving us more rest?

7. After the typhoon, the new week hasn't started yet. Why do you have to arrange your mood quietly in the afternoon?

8. There was a breeze from the horizon, and there was a ripple on the water, as if the swallowed-up sun spit out a breath of satisfaction to the earth. The wind roared, like an army of ten thousand horses, rushing.

9. Concept of Oreo: Lick when typhoon happens, twist when earthquake happens, and bubble when flood happens. This is Oreo

1. If we are caught in a typhoon, I will hug you and say to you, dear, let's get married in the air.

11. Typhoon, you can go crazy hard, but don't hurt my lover.

12. Branches are swaying in the strong wind, and it seems to break away from the trunk with the wind. The wind, like a horrible music, kept playing all day. Flowers and plants fell to the ground, and trees swayed furiously, tugging at each other, twisting, cursing and quarrelling endlessly.

13. Russia hopes that the typhoon will blow a handsome boy and a beautiful woman to Russia. Think of the red one,

14. Give you the pale pink smile of the lotus flower, and offer you coolness in the hot summer sun. It-the lotus flower is enough to soothe your friend's fidgety heart.

15. I want to ask: Typhoon, do you dare to bring your family with you? I am always ready at school! Tear down the school if you dare!

16. You can try flying kites during a typhoon!

17. The air is full of the roaring sound of wild animals.

18. oops. It's going to be a typhoon, and it's going to rain heavily. Dear friends, pay attention to safety

19. After the earthquake, the typhoon came, so it's rare to have a holiday. If you've had enough fun, maybe some unexpected good things or bad things will happen sometimes, but more often, you'll live a neither good nor bad life. Everything is not much, but it's enough to survive. There are also rainstorms and rainbows all the way.

2, those who want to rely on a typhoon to blow one.