Son, what should you do when you see a disabled person?

? "Ha ha ha, look, mom, that man is so ugly and short, like a ball!" We took our children to Chimelong in the summer vacation. When we were going to ride the spinning waterwheel, the children suddenly shouted. It turned out that the ticket seller was a dwarf patient. Because Dabao was so loud, many people looked over, and the conductor looked away awkwardly. I suddenly felt a fire on my face, and the child's father was very angry after hearing it and severely reprimanded on the spot.

These days, I have been thinking about the embarrassing scene at that time, because I can feel the flagging of the conductor at that moment and his self-mockery afterwards, and I can also feel Dabao's unconvinced and wronged feeling after being educated. In fact, Dabao has seen some people with similar physical defects before, such as one-armed and blind people. Every time I tell him to respect this kind of person with physical defects and not to shout, but every time I find something different, the child will still be surprised. This shows that our education is unsuccessful in this kind of thing, which deserves our reflection.

? First, in fact, the first thing that makes us uncomfortable is our parents.

Whenever children stare at people with physical defects or ask questions in a big fuss. In fact, it is our parents who feel uncomfortable first. In order to avoid our embarrassment, we always subconsciously say "don't ask, don't look, just go" to our children. It's especially bad to think about it carefully, because I can't satisfy my children's curiosity, and I will subconsciously reflect on my tone and body language because of my discomfort. Children are very sensitive animals. Instinct gives them a good sense of words and deeds. Parents' discomfort conveys a very strong feeling of "that's not normal". This will only arouse children's curiosity. So I think to solve this problem, we should start with the parents themselves. We should calm our minds and adopt a natural attitude, and don't stop children at will or secretly take them away because we are afraid that their attitude will hurt people.

Second, there is no discrimination from the perspective of children.

?

For some "defects" that we adults think, children are different. Their concept was not discriminatory at the beginning. For them, it is more a sense of curiosity and inquiry because of finding differences. On the contrary, as parents, we conveyed many of our prejudices to him. So what we can do after this happens is not to yell at the child or drag him away, nor to ignore his development. I think what should be done is to give the child a simple factual statement, such as "his legs are inconvenient and he can't walk well"; His eyes are hurt and he can't see. But in the statement, we must remember to avoid descriptions with subjective emotions, and don't directly say "he is lame"; "He is blind", not to mention "he is not normal". Avoid narrowly instilling in children a single value that "physical defects are equal to abnormalities."

Third, teaching children respect is not the same as single sympathy.

? What is respect, especially for this kind of disabled person, is also a question worthy of our consideration. Some parents can teach their children not to make a fuss about such people, but they will unconsciously fall into another misunderstanding "single sympathy" and let their children treat them with a pitiful attitude. In fact, not only children, but even our parents themselves will have this mentality.

I remember a Mid-Autumn Festival a few years ago, I took part in volunteer activities and went to a special school to visit children. At that time, volunteers were still very enthusiastic to bring many moon cakes and programs to the children. But I observed at that time that most children's expressions were relatively dull, and there were not many emotional fluctuations in their eyes. Later, in one-on-one communication, I faced a girl with only one arm, a teenager. When I subconsciously asked her if she had a good holiday, she seemed indifferent and replied, "Nothing good. Volunteers will come to see us during the holidays, bring us something, and then leave! " I remember listening to her words, and I was shocked. I never expected her answer to be so cold. At that moment, I suddenly realized that volunteers like us may not bring us self-righteous care, but an invisible harm. We constantly strengthen their abnormality with our self-righteous actions, compare their weakness with our sound strength and give them sympathy, but never give them spiritual equality.

So I think when we guide children to face them, it is more important to guide them to find similarities. "Maybe he can't walk, but he is as big as you and still wears a bow"; Maybe he can't see, but he is as old as your grandfather and looks very kind. This emphasis can guide children not only to pay attention to differences, but to look at everyone comprehensively. Gradually, we can understand that everyone has similarities and differences, and let children build respect on the basis of sympathy. This is the establishment of diversified values.

In this life, people should see all beings, the world and themselves clearly. I think we can help children face these seemingly embarrassing problems correctly by teaching them to respect others and themselves. It is also helping children to see the world and open up their own pattern. This is what we should work hard.