10 "face-changing" jokes that start out fresh and end up being vulgar

1. Man: I am not in good shape.

Female: What I want is not a model!

Man: I am not handsome.

Female: What I want is not a star!

Male: I can’t cook.

Female: What I want is not a chef!

Male: My academic qualifications are not top-notch.

Female: What I want is not to be called a beast!

Male: I am not gentle.

Female: What I want is not gay!

Male: So...what do you want?

Female: What I want is your money! Do you understand?

2. She broke up with him, saying that she was not willing to be with a mediocre man for the rest of her life.

He sadly went to another city to work hard. Ten years later, he had a successful career and still loved her. He also heard that she married a rich man and lived a comfortable but unhappy life.

Later, he was invited to a class reunion, and knowing that she was coming, he deliberately dressed down and out.

Someone was surprised, he said: "I want her to believe that she made the right choice to abandon me, so that she will feel happier now."

After the party. He saw her checking into a room with a short, fat, bald classmate who drove a BMW.

3. My roommate is doing homework, and the person video chatting with him on the computer is his long-distance girlfriend.

The two of them were silent, immersed in their homework, occasionally looking up at each other, and then continuing to study - this is love.

Love is not about two people going shopping together, eating together, talking sweetly, lingering day and night, or even holding hands tightly, but about becoming a better person for each other.

Then find someone better.

4. When I was in high school, I really liked a girl in my class. I secretly asked someone to get her mobile phone number, and when I saved it in my phone, I recorded her name as ‘wife’.

One time when I was riding the same bus home with her, she couldn’t find her cell phone and asked me to lend her my cell phone to call her.

I lent her my cell phone without even thinking about it. When she suddenly turned red and stared at me after dialing the number, I realized what had happened, and my face turned red instantly. ..

Her mobile phone on the ground showed: Spare tire No. 26.

5. On a rainy day, a girl and a small umbrella.

There were three boys: the first one held an umbrella with the girl: "If the raindrops fall more on me, they will fall less on her." The boy thought to himself.

The second one gave the umbrella to the girl and was soaked in the rain: "If you love her, you have to take care of her. It doesn't matter to me."

The third one didn't think about anything. , still dropped the umbrella, took the girl's hand and rushed into the rain.

If you were that girl, who would you choose?

The result is: the girl had relationships with the tall, handsome, rich and tall, thick and tall man, and after being abandoned, she married the short, poor and short man. Many years after they broke up, they met by chance in a city.

6. Man: "How are you?"

Woman: "Okay."

Man: "How is he?"

Female: "Okay."

The female asked, "How are you?"

The male replied, "Okay."

Female: " How is she?"

Man: "She just told me she was fine."

After a moment of silence, the woman asked again: "Have you heard of Amway?"

7. The two old people said goodbye in tears at the station. This may be the last time they see each other in this life.

When the horn was blowing, the old man in the car suddenly bowed deeply to the old man outside the car...

Then his head was pinched by the car door for a stop

8 .On a cold winter morning, she came back from the night shift and found that he was still lying on the bed.

Thinking about her hard work, she couldn't help but become hysterical.

He didn't say anything, got up, went to the kitchen to bring out the breakfast that had been prepared, and hurried to work.

She shed tears of grievance, ate and washed... When she lay down, she felt his warmth in the quilt, and then she remembered that he had been lying beside her just now, and couldn't bear it. I cried again.

Then she took out her mobile phone and dialed an all-too-familiar number: "Come here, he has gone to work."

9. He moved to a small apartment with her, only There is a bathroom. It is very cold to take a shower in winter.

He found that the bathroom would be warmer if one person washed first, so he was the first to rush into the bathroom every time.

He thought that when she went into the bathroom, it would be at least a degree or two warmer.

He can't give her a comfortable life, can't take her to high-end restaurants, can't buy her beautiful clothes, but at least he can give her a warmer love...

Later, she installed a bathroom heater and dumped him.

10. On the train, a boy took his mobile phone and posted on Weibo: "On the train, I fell in love with her at first sight. For some reason, she kept looking at the window..."

The boy looked at her silently, thinking that she must not know.

After a while, someone on Weibo replied to him: "Because the window reflects you."

The boy looked up and saw that she was looking at him with a smile... then silently He handed over a business card with Ping An Insurance written on it.