Urgent, who knew that a "miracle" was budding in 2003?

Xingshu Shen

When I got the call, I couldn't remember who Gao An was for a moment.

Open the yearbook, it turned out to be him.

How can you forget him too?

I looked in the mirror and began to recall what Gao 'an was like in high school. However, this man who has been stationed in my heart since he was fourteen years old can't even remember a vague silhouette now.

Is he tall and thin? Maybe not too tall, eyes are not too big, but in short, they look good. At that time, it seemed that many girls worshipped him, and I was one of them.

Gao An is not my first love, otherwise I wouldn't forget him so soon.

Gao an asked me, how are you now?

I said, just the same.

He asked again, will you come to the reunion?

I said, look at the time. I'm looking for a job recently, and I'm very busy.

He said with a smile, you are all high flyers, and you are worried about not finding a job.

I think he is laughing at me. He once laughed at me occasionally.

You know I don't believe in miracles, I answered.

Miracle? He was a little surprised and didn't understand.

Hanging up the phone, I was embarrassed by my inexplicable words, but I do remember talking about miracles with a classmate in my class in high school. If it wasn't him, who would it be?

My eyes returned to the mirror, thinking that there was an interview waiting for me in the afternoon. Although I am tired of running around with my resume, what can I do? If this mirror does not remind me every day, I am who I am, and no one can replace me. Maybe my life will become more blind.

Yes, I am who I am. If I were not me, the past might be worth remembering, the present might be worth working hard, and the future might be brighter.

Unfortunately, until now, I am still me, so it is impossible for a miracle to happen to someone like me.

The company interviewed is in the development zone far from Huangpu River. It is said that there is a bus service every day, but now I can only sneak into the underground of the city like an ant and climb from one subway to another.

On the way, I gradually recalled some past events, fragmentary, intermittent and coherent, which seemed to be concentrated in the last year before graduation. Maybe I was wrong, because the only thing I know for sure is that my totally insignificant unrequited love actually started from adolescence.

When did I start to like Gao 'an? Now that I think about it, it's even a bit of a joke, because there are too many female classmates who like him, and the main reason why I became friends with him comes from my good friend Mao Mao.

I'm not sure whether Mao Mao's name is Mao Jingying or Mao Jingying. However, I remember her very clearly. To describe her in fashionable words, "pure and beautiful girl" is more than enough, or it is not appropriate enough. I am a stranger to beautiful words since I was a child, and I am still strange now, which is related to my natural defects.

I am a girl with harelip, and the crack of the mouth flap extends to the bottom of the nasal cavity. My mother told me that when I was born, doctors almost thought I was an alien because I was so bloody. At that time, the plastic surgery technique was poor, and a few stitches hung up my whole upper lip, revealing half a tiger tooth. That ferocious look made me stay in kindergarten for several years. Later, my mother took me for another operation, at least hiding my teeth, but the ugly nature did not fade with age.

No one has ever described me with beautiful words, so I don't know how to describe others accurately.

I believe that Mao Mao should be a lovely girl. When boys dream in the middle of the night, she will make them giggle. At that time, I never thought that she would want to be with someone like me. Many students talk about me behind my back. She made friends with me in order to get close to Gao. Gao an and I have been taking turns to sit at the top of the grade since junior high school. Gao an suddenly jumped up from the second half of the second semester of junior high school. As for me, I have never been proud of my superior IQ, which is obviously a blessing from heaven. In order to make up for the mistakes he accidentally made when he created me, it doesn't mean anything to me personally. I always thought that most students who studied well were as good as me, either eccentric or ugly, but Gao An was so handsome that even the trainee teacher would blush when he saw him.

That's not why I like him. The main reason is his mind.

Gao an is the only boy who is equal to me in wisdom. He subverted my lofty ideals and left me at a loss in the face of inferiority. To me, he is not a man, but a god.

Because of many years of provincial and municipal mathematics competitions, Gao An and I often train together and have more opportunities for contact. Gao an doesn't know that I always like him, and he can't like me, so we get along well. Because of him, I suffered twice as much satire and ridicule as before, until Mao Mao appeared.

After Mao Mao and I became good friends, everyone's eyes naturally focused on her, especially when she and Gao An went out in pairs. Frankly speaking, I have never been jealous of Mao Mao. What really makes me jealous is Gao An. His unique appearance and the combination of appearances are always in sharp contrast to my internal and external incompatibility. This contrast shocked me, let alone others.

In a sense, I should thank Mao Mao. Although her appearance strangled my wishful thinking for Gao 'an for a long time, she also helped me in time and rescued me from that invisible oppression.

They are a golden couple and should be the focus of attention. I am a broken green leaf. Even Mao Mao and Gao An often laugh at me in a friendly way. It can be seen that when wisdom is not protected by beauty, it will become insignificant and worthless, and it has not changed at all until now-no matter how hard I try to show my best side in front of the interviewer, as long as the other person's eyes stay in my face for 30 seconds in amazement, I will know him clearly.

Gao An and I became real friends only after he and Mao Mao formally established their relationship.

It's a little difficult for me, because I still have girlish fantasies about Gao An. However, I try to put this fantasy aside, especially in the last year of high school. The intimate relationship between Mao Mao and Gao 'an, which was almost acquiesced by all the teachers and students in the school, made me clearly realize that my infatuation with Gao 'an will eventually become the secret of my youth forever, and I will never have a chance to confess it to anyone again.

So, I put my beautiful fantasy on Mao Mao and Gao 'an, which is really ridiculous. I even naively thought that a few years later, I would accidentally meet paunchy Gao 'an and Mao Mao in the street!

I don't think teenagers nowadays should have such stupid fantasies as mine. Nowadays, there are many boys and girls holding hands in the street. At that time, the so-called closest relationship between men and women was limited to walking into the classroom together during self-study in the morning, or waiting for each other in the carport after school, going home together, and even reading in the library, all facing each other to show openness.

In fact, in my opinion, this kind of behavior will only be counterproductive. However, Mao Mao and Gao 'an are different. Although Mao Mao's performance declined slightly due to excitement, it still remained in the top five. Therefore, it is inconvenient for teachers to interfere with them easily, fearing that meddling will upset the firm will of two outstanding students. Among the classmates, those guys who are carried away by their first love and hesitate on the edge of the future, or lonely people who have excellent grades but haven't even received a little note of "like you", are really envious and yearn for the safe and subtle "love" relationship between them.

Mao Mao and Gao 'an are like a dream in our hearts. Everyone hopes that they can persist until they graduate from high school, and then come together aboveboard, so that all the people who witnessed them all the way can share a little happiness.

On the eve of high school graduation, during that stressful day, their love was the only thing full of hope and vitality that we could see in our chaotic eyes.

Unfortunately, before the senior high school entrance examination, this pure and beautiful belief that supported each of us was shattered.

On the way to Line 2, I was severely trampled by a strange man. He gave me a rude look back and then ran away in disgust.

My toes are numb, and I feel nothing in my heart. This experience is as common as eating for me. The only thing I have to do is to put the temporary unhappiness behind me and tell myself that this is just a stranger who has nothing to do with my life, so don't care too much.

However, I looked at that person indifferently, and his back quickly reminded me of another person.

It may be him, the classmate who discussed miracles with me.

The moment the train started again, I remembered him clearly. In that high school, except Gao 'an, the only male classmate who has an intersection with me, although the communication time is not long, it is only a few months, but his appearance really adds some interesting memories to us.

Because the time was too short, no one mentioned him again, but I believe that if someone suddenly mentioned his name, no one would not know.

He is the only son of Teacher Deng who teaches English. His name is Deng Pumin.

Deng Pumin was suddenly transferred last semester. I don't remember his student number, or not at all.

That guy is famous, not because of his special position, but because his grades broke the historical record set by the worst poor students in our school, which is why after he came, Teacher Deng stopped smiling.

It is said that Mr. Deng put his son beside him regardless of face, in order to be self-disciplined, perhaps to create a miracle at the last minute. Unfortunately, to no avail, he disappeared as soon as the exam was over. I guess he didn't even take the college entrance examination, at least to avoid the embarrassment of failing the exam, although that is the default fact.

Originally, I wouldn't get involved with such a bad boy, but on the eve of the exam, Teacher Deng asked me to help Deng Pumin with his math twice a week. I didn't want to, but I had no choice but to bite the bullet and waste my precious time on him.

In retrospect, it was a complete waste. Every time that guy sits in front of me, he is either in a daze or doodles. At first, I explained the exercises to him endlessly. It turned out that it was casting pearls before swine. So I told him, you can do whatever you want, and I won't tell your father. In the next few months, tutoring became self-study-I did the paper and he watched his Jin Yong.

One day, he suddenly asked me, do you like Gao 'an?

I'm scared and wonder if his eyes have strange penetrating power.

He knew that he had read my mind and smiled proudly. After that, I hated him even more.

In fact, at that time, teenage students in the class secretly talked about Deng Pumin, thinking that his head was not as stupid as the teacher thought, and some even compared him with Gao Anbi. Until now, I still think that is an insult to Gao An.

Compared with Gao 'an, Deng Pumin is really a little different.

Gao an belongs to the kind of boy with fine eyes and clean eyes, while Deng Pumin is characterized by a messy brown curly hair. Although I hate to admit it, strictly speaking, his facial features are more handsome than Gao An's, and he has a mature taste beyond our age.

Gao an's personality is gentle and casual, and he is smiling at everyone, which is very pleasing. However, Deng Pumin was taciturn and unsmiling. I thought his withdrawn personality was caused by inferiority, but later I found that he was not only quite satisfied with his state at that time, but also proud to some extent.

He seems to think that he is the real genius, and we are all idiots.

During the boring remedial classes, he will suddenly discuss some strange topics with me, from astronomy to geography, some of which are even as profound as philosophy. I don't understand how long his brain is. A person who knows nothing about the basic knowledge has unique views on many things that we wouldn't touch at that time. That kind of malicious display made me feel ashamed again and again in front of this poor student.

I think he made me tired of making up lessons twice a week on purpose. I don't know why I let him fool me like an idiot. I hate him from the bottom of my heart, because in front of Gao An, I at least have a feeling of intellectual equality. However, in front of him, I became an ignorant clown and lost all my confidence.

My life is doomed to be shrouded in an ugly shadow. Why should he take away my remaining sense of superiority?

I really hope everyone hates him, isolates him and treats him as a shameless monster.

Unfortunately, it backfired. He only came to our class for a short month, and the girls were divided into two factions unconsciously. One school is still as loyal to defending the love for Gao 'an as I am, and one school is hopelessly infatuated with Deng Pumin. Strangely, among all the boys, only Gao An looked at Deng Pumin with special respect and appreciation. They don't care about the intrigue between girls, but they become good friends, which means that Mao Mao and I often have close contact with him because of Gao An, and he knows my secret, which makes me unbearable.

Just when I tried my best to get rid of him, suddenly, Gao An also alienated Deng Pumin.

I expected this a long time ago. They are simply two people who don't match, but when I know the reason, I can't help sighing for their fragile friendship.

Later, many people asked me why Mao Mao and Gao An broke up, as if I should know the inside story. I do know, but I can't say, because it has something to do with factional struggle between girls. I don't want to make an uproar after graduation, so I have to be silent and then silent.

Mao Mao told me that at the lunch of her last spring outing in high school, she couldn't help falling in love with Deng Pumin. At that time, I was sitting under a big tree in the suburbs eating bread. After a while, Mao Mao sat beside me quietly. I broke the bread in my hand and handed it to her. She bit it and tears fell on her jeans.

I asked her, what's wrong with you? She told me in dismay that she didn't want to keep that relationship with Gao An any more. I was surprised and asked why. She said, I only tell you that there is another boy in my heart. I don't know why, I immediately guessed that it was Deng Pumin, and Mao Mao really acquiesced and told me for sure, not because he often stayed with Gao An, and everyone got along with him for a long time and suddenly had feelings, but because she liked him from the first day he entered our class, which was completely unexpected.

After the spring outing, Mao Mao broke up with Gao An, and she didn't confess to Deng Pumin until she graduated from high school.

I don't know exactly when they broke up. I only remember a chemistry simulation exam, and Gao An handed in a blank sheet of paper. The head teacher called him to the office for a long time that day. After that, everything calmed down as if it had never happened. Only we fools who have always hoped for them are still sad about this puppy love.

Gao An and Deng Pumin were estranged during that time, so I believe Gao An already knew why Mao Mao insisted on separating from him.

In fact, those days, I was in a bad mood because something strange happened around me.

Someone in our class started stealing from me.

Every three to five days, I will lose some stationery, erasers, trigonometry, mechanical pencil. I know this is purely a bullying prank.

I have no time to care about these shameless trifles, but I feel uncomfortable unconsciously.

Mao Mao and Gao An broke up, and my illusions about princesses and princes were shattered. I can't find any other sustenance except studying hard. In this depressed situation, it is really unlucky to always be wary of thieves' attacks. Therefore, I asked Mr. Deng not to make up lessons for Mr. Deng Pumin on the grounds of lack of time. Teacher Deng also knew that the exam was about to start, so he promised me that it would be over after the last two exams. However, because of the relationship between Mao Mao and Gao 'an and my emotional instability, I kept procrastinating and never fulfilled my final promise.

Until Gao an and Deng Pumin broke up.

I walked into the lobby, faced the elevator, forced myself to take time out of my head and return to the topic of job hunting, and found that it was not an easy task.

On the way, I seem to have been completely immersed in this memory, and my thinking seems to be active and excited. When I got a call from Gao 'an in the morning, I was still very calm.

Fortunately, the queue waiting for the interview is very long, so I have enough time to continue reviewing.

How did Gao An and Deng Pumin break up?

I pondered carefully and suddenly smiled.

It's Deng Pumin. He punched Gao An, and the reason is still a mystery.

I still can't remember that dusk, but it is precisely because of this dusk that I completely escaped from the emotional whirlpool of Gao 'an.

During the days when we were preparing for the exam, everyone was very busy. In addition to warm-up classes, we also exchanged message manuals and graduation gifts, because everyone knows that the college entrance examination means parting ways. Who would be in the mood to do this? It is better to leave a souvenir as soon as possible. I have no friends except Gao An and Mao Mao, and I know that Gao An still has feelings for Mao Mao, so I made two key chains and entrusted Mao Mao to give them to Gao An for me. Actually, I want to give them a chance to have a heart-to-heart talk before graduation, so as to clear up the original misunderstanding.

After school that day, I deliberately waited until everyone left before going to the carport. I thought I was the only car left there. I didn't expect that the conversation between Gao An and Mao Mao was not over yet. Two people just leaned in front of the bike, and a car was parked alone in the corner not far from them. I don't know who it is.

Helpless, I had to hide and wait patiently. At this moment, I heard Gao An say to Mao Mao: Since you like him, why don't you tell him?

Mao Mao replied because he didn't like me.

Gao an was surprised, how do you know?

He already has someone he likes, maybe a girl from another class, or he wouldn't have ignored me until now.

Gao An was silent, but I vaguely felt that his heart was hurting.

Then let's start over.

He took the initiative to seize the opportunity, but Mao Mao never answered. Later I learned that although she didn't speak, her head kept shaking like a rattle.

After a stalemate for a while, Mao Mao finally took out my present, but I never expected that she had the cheek to tell my secret.

She said to Gao An: Well, this is a graduation present that Yun Lan asked me to give you. In fact, she is the one who really likes you the most. We've been together for so long, why haven't you realized it?

Gao An took my keychain, waited for a while, looked at it carefully for a while, and suddenly threw it on the ground.

I like you, not her. What do you mean, you gave me her stuff? It's ugly. I don't want it.

I can't see Mao Mao's face, but I think she is very angry.

Just then, a tall figure suddenly appeared behind me, like an angry tiger jumping in front of Gao 'an and punching him on the bridge of the nose.

It suddenly dawned on me that the rest of the bike belonged to Deng Pumin.

Boys fight, and we girls just watch. After several rounds, Gao 'an's nosebleed flowed down, and Deng Pumin's mouth was swollen with a purple bruise.

This game is obviously not for me. Although Deng Pumin jumped out at the moment Gao An stabbed me, I'm not that romantic. In that case, everyone who sees it knows that two boys are fighting for a girl. The result is not important. The key is who has the initiative.

Gao 'an's hatred is justified. Deng Pumin is a little interested in Mao Mao after all.

In order to end this endless battle, I bravely stepped forward, grabbed Deng Pumin's arm and told him that it was too late to make up lessons today, so I took him back to the classroom.

I didn't cry with a runny nose until my ass sat down.

Deng Pumin ignored me and continued to open his martial arts book with relish. It took a long time to scold angrily: Will you shut up? It's too noisy.

I dried my tears, threw the thick exercise book on the desk, made a red stroke and threw it in front of him.

These things need to be done, so start now and don't go home until you finish!

He stared at me strangely for a long time and asked, are you sick?

I tried to stare at him back, but suddenly I was at a loss.

I don't know when, his eyes became very gentle, staring at me as if to comfort me.

No one has ever looked at my face for such a long time, which immediately turned my cheeks into freshly baked sesame cakes, red and hot.

Look again and gouge out your eyes!

I hate it. I think he abused me mentally.

Do you believe in miracles? He's talking nonsense again.

I don't believe it, I replied grumpily.

Just as no one will believe that people like you can go to college, people like me will win love.

Oh, I see, he muttered thoughtfully, and then asked, how do you think we can convince you that there are miracles in this world?

I never thought about this question, but after his casual reminder, I suddenly remembered another thing, so I told him that when I was eighteen, I had been expecting someone to give me the gift I had longed for since I was a child, but I just didn't have the courage to say it. However, my birthday was so dull that even my parents couldn't understand what I really wanted. If anyone can guess what I wanted at that time, I will believe that the world is real.

Deng Pumin thought hard with a frown, and was a little discouraged because he couldn't find the answer, so he had to take out his paper and do it.

We stopped talking, so we sat until dark.

That night, he was abnormal. He finished all the exercises in front of me for the first time, and even two answers were correct! When we parted at the school gate, he suddenly remembered to ask me if I still owed him a class. I said yes, and he proposed to make it up at the same time on Friday.

You must come, so that neither of us owes anyone. He pretended to remind me.

Joke, he thought I would believe that punch was for me?

I gave him a white look and nodded reluctantly, thinking that what I promised others should be completed. It's not bad to be with him for so long.

As a result, I had a fever on Friday and didn't go to class at all. Of course, I can't keep my promise with him.

That night, unexpectedly, I received a phone call from Deng Pumin.

He will still ask, are you still alive?

I am not a femme fatale. Curses don't work on me.

I gave him a rude response.

He chuckled on the phone. I don't know why. The first time I was with an almost complete stranger, I felt very close and comfortable. Maybe it's because no one ever calls me when I'm sick. He is the only one.

Then, the exam began. Although Mao Mao, Deng Pumin and Gao 'an belong to two different examination rooms, they are actually very close. The last time I saw them, I was in a snack bar next to the examination room. At that time, the weather was already very hot, but they ordered two bowls of spicy noodles, laughing and sweating, as if they had returned to the previous harmony. Mao Mao was afraid that her appearance would cause another dispute, and insisted on not going in to say hello to them, so we bypassed the store and went directly to McDonald's.

When I flashed by the store, I remembered that I seemed to look back. Deng Pumin seemed to notice me and wanted to say something, but he swallowed it back after all.

He looks funny with his mouth full of spicy oil, like a woodchuck who stole something and forgot to wipe his mouth.

I don't know why I don't remember him now. His face is so clear and vivid, as if everything happened yesterday.

Probably because I haven't seen him since.

The interview ended successfully, but I still don't have much hope for myself. As the saying goes, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. Anyway, I am destined to be the kind of person who has to bear the burden of humiliation and struggle on the edge of society. The so-called miracle belongs only to God's darling, and I never have to wait.

However, one sunny afternoon three days later, I happened to meet Gao An in the street. We sat in a cafe on the street for 20 minutes. However, it was that short twenty minutes that changed my life.

Gao An asked me, why didn't you come?

I had an interview that day and couldn't leave.

I am telling the truth.

I have something for you, but you didn't show up. I want to call and ask your address so that I can give it to you. Fortunately, I ran into it, so I didn't have to run again.

What is this?

I'm surprised. I can't figure out what medicine he is selling in the gourd.

Remember that curly Deng Pumin? He asked me.

Yes, how is he now? What are you doing?

You don't know?

Know what? I'm weirder.

Deng Pumin almost became your college alumnus!

You mean, he was admitted to the university? My eyes are about to fall out.

Gao An said with a smile that when he received the acceptance letter, Teacher Deng's expression was exactly the same as yours.

However, soon, he was quiet again.

What happened afterwards? I asked him excitedly, you said almost, why almost? Did the teacher get the score wrong?

Gao an suddenly stared at me, with something unfamiliar in his eyes, very deep and mysterious.

He was an unfortunate guy who was hit by a car before school started.

I feel chest tightness and can't breathe.

You mean, he ...

Teacher Deng cried to death, and Gao An sighed.

Finally, he made a promise and suddenly it was gone. No one can stand it.

I feel very sad and don't know what to say. I just remembered his appearance two days ago, but he died several years ago.

At this time, Gao An took out a bulging cowhide envelope from his bag and handed it to me.

I found this among his belongings. Teacher Deng asked me to give it to you.

This is a very ordinary envelope. The seal is sealed tightly with glass glue. The cover reads: Dear Zhu.

I think this may be a graduation gift from him, Gao An couldn't help saying.

I opened the envelope in front of Gao 'an, and a lot of worn-out stationery, erasers, trigonometry and mechanical pencil rolled out.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It turned out that that hateful little thief was him!

There is a card that Gao An picked out from the rubber pile at a glance.

I opened it and saw four words written on it: confidence = miracle.

I don't understand why he sent me a card at the moment. The sentence on this card obviously has nothing to do with these stolen stationery.

I thought for a moment and suddenly realized something. I took the envelope and touched it again. Sure enough, there was a small protrusion hidden in the corner, so I reached in and took it out.

Just when I saw what it was, my eyes burst with tears.

That's the gift that I 18 was late for.

A beautiful pink lipstick. ...