Jokes about swimming

A fat lady said to her girlfriend, "I often go swimming." It is said that this can lose weight! " "The girlfriend disapprovingly said," nonsense! Have you ever seen whales in the sea? Thin? "

Learn to swim

The teacher led Xiaoming and his classmates to a swimming class. Half an hour later, Xiao Ming went to the teacher and said; "Teacher, today's class is over? I really can't drink any more! "

Eat fish and chicken.

Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father swims very well. Why not? " Dad: "Xiaohua's father always eats fish, so he can swim." Dad, I don't often eat fish. How can I swim? " Child: "But, Dad, you always eat chicken. Can you lay eggs? "

Xiaoming swims

Xiaojun and Xiaoming both said that they were excellent swimmers, and their classmates suggested that they go to the swimming pool to compete. After the game, mom asked Xiao Ming what the result was. Xiaoming: "I won the second place."

Mom: "What about Xiaojun?"

Xiao Ming: "He is only the second from the bottom."

Coach is not as good as me.

Son: "Mom, our coach's swimming level is not as good as mine!" " "

Mom: "You talk nonsense!"

Son: "Really, I know everything our coach swims, but the coach doesn't know what I swim."

Cars can swim.

A sharp turn on the road; There is a placard that says, "If your car

If you can swim, please don't brake and go straight. A university doctor who just learned to drive saw this slogan and immediately turned around and drove to the car factory. He asked the manager seriously, "can your car swim?" Is it amphibious? "

swimming pool

A lifeguard protested to the tourists: Mr. Wang, I have been paying attention to you for three days. You can't pee in the swimming pool.

Mr. Wang: Everyone urinates in the swimming pool. Lifeguard: That's right! But you're the only one standing on the springboard, sir. ...

Is swimming

During the military exercise, the colonel put up a sign on a bridge. It says: the bridge was blown up. Through the telescope in the headquarters, the colonel saw a group of infantry crossing the river without restraint. He was very angry. In a rage, he drove a jeep to the bridge, ready to severely reprimand the soldiers. When he reached the river, the colonel was surprised to see a sign held by a soldier that said: We are swimming!

Come back alive.

A swimming team returned from an international competition. At the airport, the coach said in an interview with reporters: "Yes, although our team didn't get a medal, I believe you should also see that no one was drowned in the game."