I am urgently looking for English humorous jokes about Bank.

1.

China Construction Bank - CBC (Construction Bank of China) - "Deposit or not?"

Bank of China - BC (Bank of China) - "No deposit."

Agricultural Bank of China - ABC (Agriculture Bank of China) - "Ah, no deposit"

Industrial and Commercial Bank of China - ICBC (Industryand Commercial Bank of China) - "Save it or not"

Minsheng Bank - CMSB (china minsheng bank) - "Save it? Stupid"

China Merchants Bank ——CMBC (china merchants bank co.ltd)——“Deposit, you idiot!”

Industrial Bank——CIB (china industrial bank)——“Deposit a hundred”

China Development Bank—CDB (china development bank):—Save some! "

Beijing City Commercial Bank - BCCB (BeiJing city commercial bank) - Bai Cuncun?"

HSBC - HSBC (Hongkong&Shanghai banking corporation limited) - or not

II.

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

They were brought directly from the United States. An old Chinese woman came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was counterfeit. This approach made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't bear it and said, "Trust me, sir." , please also believe in these banknotes. These are real US dollars, they are brought directly from the United States.

"

3.

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

A fourth grade primary school teacher was giving a logic lesson to the students. She raised Here’s an example: “There was a situation where a man was fishing on a boat in the middle of the river when he suddenly lost his center of gravity and fell into the water. So he started struggling and yelling for help. His wife heard him shouting and knew he couldn't swim, so she hurried to the river bank. Can anyone tell me why this is? "A girl raised her hand and replied, "Are you going to withdraw his deposit? " [Note] In English, in addition to the "bank" that we are familiar with, bank also means "river bank"

4.

An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his pocket and said to the clerk, "Give me all the money."

But the old lady did not see this. She went to the man, put the keys in his hand and said, "Young man, you're stupid! Never leave your keys in your car. Someone's going to steal it!" The man looked at the old woman for a few seconds. Then he looked at the clerk —and then he took his keys, ran out of the bank, got into his car and drove away quickly, without any money.

Last Tuesday an old lady went shopping. She came to a bank. , saw a car. A man got out of the car and entered the bank. She looked at the car and the key was still in the lock. The old lady took the key and followed the man into the bank. Pull out your gun and tell the clerk, "Give me all your money. ”

But the old woman didn’t see it.

She walked up to the man, took the key in her hand, and said, "Young man, you are stupid! Never leave your car keys in the car, someone will steal them!" The man looked at the old lady. seconds. He then looked at the clerk, and then, he put away his keys, ran out of the bank without taking any money, got into his car and drove away quickly.

5.

A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

A businessman walked into a bank in San Francisco to consult with a loan officer. He wants to borrow US$5,000 for a business trip to Europe. The loan officer told him that if he wanted to get this kind of loan, he would need to mortgage something.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

So the businessman handed them the keys to the Rolls-Royce parked in front of the bank. After passing the review, the bank approved the credit business. A staff member drove the car into the bank's underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. and paid interest of $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The loan officer said: "It's great to be able to close this deal with you, but we still have a little problem Confused. During your absence, we verified that you are a multi-millionaire.

So why would you bother with this mere $5,000? ”

The businessman replied, “Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?”

The businessman replied: “Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?” Is there somewhere else I can store my car for only $15? "

6.

"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers . They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno

"I have a plan to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. We do this. We pulled all our soldiers back. We then send our investment bankers there. It must only take them 6 months to turn the place into a mess. Only 6 months! "-Jay Leno

VII.

"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff , of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno

"A construction worker in Queens, New York, won a lottery ticket using Bernard Madoff's prison number. This guy won $1,500. Of course, Bernard Madoff is in jail because he was siphoning money off the rich with his huge 'guaranteed money' scam. However, don’t confuse it with the state lottery. The state lottery is a huge scam that sucks money from the poor with guaranteed money. ”——Jay Leno