A delightful joke.

A cheerful joke. In life, everyone will encounter troubles. When we are in a bad mood, when we are in a bad mood, we can watch some jokes that make people feel happy, not only to make ourselves happy, but also to relax.

A joke that makes people feel happy 1 1. What is a male god? It's the kind of man who thinks this life has nothing to do with you at first sight.

I made a girlfriend recently, but I didn't expect her family to disagree, especially her husband. What a difficult start!

3, this life is lovely and gentle, and nothing can be less.

No matter how developed the network is now, I still want to tell you in your ear that I like you.

5. Student: "Teacher, what you teach is useless." Teacher: "I forbid you to say that about yourself."

6. Others can go to Paris alone when they break up. I can only go to the beef noodle restaurant downstairs when I break up. I dare not add eggs to a bowl of beef noodles for six yuan.

7. While the sun is just right and the breeze is not dry, do what you want while you are still young.

8. For me, the happiest time is when I am with you.

9. If you don't have the money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big that you can not only have a look, but also look around.

10, on the subway, almost everyone is playing with their mobile phones, only a few foreigners are holding a book and watching it attentively, which seems a bit out of place. This move really touched me, as if it reminded me of something, so I stole their mobile phones.

1 1. I used to think that poverty and loneliness would not catch up with me as long as I worked hard. But who would have thought that the hairline couldn't catch up with me.

12, I eat when I see other girls eating, I buy when I see other girls buying, and I will ignore when I see other girls thin and beautiful.

13. If a girl walks in an ancient street, is dragged back by the emperor to serve as a bed, and washes her face at night, will she be convicted of bullying the monarch and so on?

14, the hospital physical examination doctor asked me: Have you ever done dangerous sports? I thought about it and answered: Yes, sometimes I talk back to my wife.

When you feel ugly, poor and useless, don't despair, because at least your judgment is right.

16, there is a buddy, especially true. Once I ate noodles in the canteen and got an unknown black object, so I told the canteen master that I was scolded. So this guy silently buys a bowl of noodles every day, eats it quickly, and then spits it out in public ... Three days later, the noodles in the canteen can't be sold at all, so on the fourth day, the canteen master knelt down and told him to stop.

17, whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I will advise them to look farther and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling, urging me assiduously: pay back the money quickly!

18, the interviewer asked me to introduce my leadership experience. I thought about it and said, "I once led a team of 500 people." The interviewer's eyes lit up: "Oh? Then why not do it? " I took a deep breath and looked into the distance: "The number was stolen!"

19. Every time I teach Buddha's feet, the Buddha always gives me a foot!

20. I have been looking for spring for half my life. Just smile.

2 1, endless work, lack of sleep, no fat wallet, no mink. Earned 200 million in my half life: amnesia and memory.

22. "Is there any way to make a woman disfigure quickly?" "Take Mito Xiu Xiu out of her mobile phone."

23. In the next life, if the incense burned for one year can meet you, the incense burned for three years can know you, and the incense burned for ten years can cherish you. For the happiness of you and me in the next life, I am willing to throw away all the incense at home.

24. You are the star holding the moon, and all tenderness is only for you.

25. God is fair. When giving happiness to others, it will also make you blind and afraid that you will feel uncomfortable.

26, no one is always smooth sailing, in fact, you are not alone, look at your friends, not because of failure.

27. The tattoo artist asked me if I wanted to tattoo the black wolf or the golden wolf. I said, "Since you are hanging out, you must be ambitious and learn to bear it." Finally, he tattooed me a wolf.

28. For me, nothing that can be solved with money is a problem. How to have money is my biggest problem.

29. Not all women can be emperors. Wu Zetian did it. Not all black people can be presidents. Obama did it. Not everyone can praise me. Handsome people did it.

30. I have a strong mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother took me to ride a bike, and my foot got stuck in the wheel. My mother felt unable to pedal, so she stood up and pedal.

Cheerful joke 2 1, the difference between a lover and a wife Husband: I got a raise. Lover: You are great! Let's celebrate by eating steak and drinking red wine. Wife: Honey, you are getting better and better. When I finish cleaning the house, I will go shopping and cook your favorite food.

2. In class today, the teacher taught us to pick up girls, and the students were ecstatic! Just when everyone praised the teacher for his advanced thinking and timely follow-up, the teacher had already thrown a female corpse into the formalin solution.

The female teacher gave the students a question: imitate the structure of "green vegetables" and make sentences. The students scrambled to answer: "Red sun, dark night sky …" It was Xiao Ming's turn. He thought for a long time and said, "Pure water from Wahaha!"

On one occasion, the teacher was explaining the article My Hand. When he saw Xiao Xia peeking at martial arts novels again, he asked him what the title of the article was. Shaoxia shook his head. When prompted by the teacher, he stretched out a hand and asked, "What is this?"

Young Xia replied, "Iron sand palm!" The teacher shook his hand angrily. Xia said, "Shaolin Boxing!" The teacher's hand was half stretched and half held, but Xiao Xia answered faster: "The eagle claw!" "The teacher was very angry and shook his chalk head." Ah! It turns out that the teacher can also shoot darts! "

A young man proposed to the girl, and the girl said, "We have only known each other for three days. Do you know me? " The young man quickly said, "Yes, yes, I have known you for a long time." "Really?" "Yes, I worked in a bank for three years. I know how much money your father has. "

6. Not all girls like money. Some kind girls also like small animals, such as BMW, Jaguar, Hummer, Bugatti Veyron and Tmall.

7. A child in the delivery room smiled after birth. Midwives are strange. When she gathered around, she found the child's fist clenched. When she opened it, she found it was an abortion pill. She only heard the child say: Want to kill me? It's not that easy!

8. Two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

9. At present, the bathrooms in many stations are really advanced. Even the squat pit uses infrared sensors. Rush as soon as you lift your ass, whether your ticket falls into the pit or not.

10, my wife asked me: Do you think I am gentle and beautiful? Me: gentle and beautiful. Wife: Really? Are you afraid of hurting me? Me: No, I said it was because I was afraid you would hurt me!

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but after school starts, you can't recognize me as fat!

Second, when I was in love, my father disagreed with my relationship with my husband until my husband came to see me for the first time and took off his shoes ... My father held his breath and said, young man, it tastes like my daughter. Take it away!

Third, don't complain that you live too tired and bitter. Like me, I used to be nothing, but now I'm different. Even the boss who is worth a million dollars took the initiative to say hello when he saw me: "Hey, waiter, come here for a moment"!

Fourth, I raised a fish and died. I don't want to be buried I want to be cremated. Who knows, the more you bake this thing, the better it smells. Then I bought a bottle of beer!

In the final analysis, women are still emotional and have no immunity to all kinds of small animals, such as Bugatti Veyron, Hummer, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW and, of course, Tmall.

6. I heard that irregular rest is harmful to my health, which scares me to stay up late every day and cook regularly.

7. When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

8. I was hospitalized for infusion last week, and the time to play mobile games passed quickly. When I looked up and saw the bottom of the bottle, I suddenly panicked and shouted, "waiter, it's full!" "

Nine, it is said that girls are made of water, gentle and will not lose their temper. Me, too, but I'm Sprite, so I have to hold it. I can't shake it or drop it, or it will explode easily.

X. Taking her daughter for an injection, she climbed onto the stool and said to the nurse, "Sister, be gentle. If you love me, I will call you aunt tomorrow and grandma the day after tomorrow. "

Eleven, some women look good in stockings; There are also some women wearing stockings, which shows that the quality is very good.

Twelve, the three tragedies of the dinner: the person to be invited didn't come, the person who came has nothing to do with you, and only you are awake when you check out.

Thirteen, accompany my wife to press the road at night, and pick up 5 yuan on the way. My wife said that the money I picked up must be spent, otherwise it would bring bad luck. I'm dubious. As a result, she dragged me into the supermarket and bought more than 200 snacks.

14. What's the saddest sentence you've ever heard, and immediately turn around and go home? Our crystal has been attacked.

Fifteen, I wanted to buy a down jacket, but I spent more than three thousand. Later, after careful measurement, cold medicine is only a few tens of dollars, and it is still cost-effective to buy cold medicine.

Everyone says I'm single, which is very interesting. Isn't everyone the same? Who can have a double body? Even Nezha superhuman powers is just a corpse!

Seventeen, go to eat pizza with friends, the waiter asked: "Cut 8 pieces, or 16 pieces?" The friend said, "Cut 8 pieces, but we can't finish cutting 16 pieces."

One day, I watched TV with my father. I said to my father, "Dad, your taste is really strong. You found someone like my mother." Dad looked at me and said, "What is this? I had a heavier taste in my last life! " "

19. Looking at your back, I thought you could charm thousands of troops. I really underestimated you when you turned around. You are fully capable of scaring millions of heroes.

Twenty, hungry, go downstairs to buy something to eat and shout to the boss: come and tidy up the cage. The boss probably didn't react and replied, what kind of stuffing do you want in the cage?

Twenty-one, a few decades later, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, one for you, one for me, and send them all to the countryside to make fertilizer.