English humorous jokes with translation?

The following is what I compiled, welcome to read!

If I were a manager

One day in class, the teacher assigned students to write a position-if

English humorous jokes with translation?

The following is what I compiled, welcome to read!

If I were a manager

One day in class, the teacher assigned students to write a position-if I were a manager.

All the students began to write except one boy. The teacher came up to him and asked why.

"I'm waiting for my secretary," the boy replied.

One day in class, the teacher asked the students to write a composition on the topic "If I were a manager".

All the students are writing except one boy. The teacher went over and asked him why he didn't write.

I am waiting for my secretary. The child replied.

: Isn't it wonderful?

"What are you so happy about?" A lady asked the 98-year-old man.

"I broke a mirror," he replied.

"But it means seven years of bad luck."

"I know." He said cheerfully, "Isn't this great?"

Is this not good?

"What are you happy about?" A lady asked a 98-year-old man.

"I broke a mirror." He replied.

"But this bodes ill for the next seven years."

"I know." He said happily, "Isn't that good?"

What is time for a pig?

One day, a tourist from the city came to an all-rural area, driving on the country road, to see what the farm looked like and how farmers made a living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig in his hand, holding it high so that the pig could eat the apples on the apple tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't that a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What is time to a pig?"

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village. He drove along the road in the country to see what the farm was like and how farmers made a living by farming. City people saw a farmer on the grass behind his house, holding a pig in his hand and holding it high so that it could eat apples from the tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't it a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What does time mean to pigs?"

The story of me and my teacher

Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

Teacher: Tom! John. Why are you two late today!

Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin. I'm looking for it.

Tom: Teacher, I've been looking for my lost one-dollar coin.

Teacher: What about you, John?

Teacher: What about you, John?

John: I can't move, madam, because I have hidden the coins under my feet.

John: Teacher, I can't move. I hid his coins under my feet.

: goodbye.

Two tomatoes went shopping. One tomato suddenly walked very fast. The second tomato asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The tomato did not answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, "aren't we tomatoes?" Can we talk? "

Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast. The second tomato asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, "Aren't we tomatoes?" Can we talk? "

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On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted themselves to this fascinating spectacle. After three exhausted days, we went home.

As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."

Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."

My Hu * * * waved again and said weakly, "Goodbye, money."

Disneyland in Florida is a fascinating place. Once, my husband and I took two children on a trip, and we were completely attracted by its wonders. After three days of exhausted play, we are going home.

When we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mike."

The daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."

The husband also waved weakly and said, "Goodbye, Dollar."

Goldfish goldfish

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to put them?

Fred: Where do you want to put them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Stan: The bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath?

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold * * Blindfold * * them!

Stan: blindfold them!

I act like a lady, and I want to act like a lady.

One day, a department store was promoting women's wear. A noble middle-aged man decided to choose a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself beaten by a crazy woman.

One day, women's dresses in a department store were on sale. A noble middle-aged man wants to choose a dress for his wife. However, it didn't take long for him to find himself tripping over a crazy woman.

He endured it as long as possible; Then, he lowered his head and waved his arms through the crowd.

He tried to bear it. Later, he bowed his head, waved his arms and pushed his way through the crowd.

"There you are!" Challenge a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"What are you doing?" Someone screamed, "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I want to behave like a lady. "

"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I want to behave like a lady. "

Good eyesight

Lawyer: You said you were about 35 feet away from the scene of the accident? How far can you see?

Witness: Well, when I woke up in the morning, I saw the sun. They told me it was 93 million miles away.

Lawyer: You said you were about 35 feet from the scene of the accident. How far can you see?

Witness: Let's just say that I got up this morning and saw the sun. I was told it was 93 million miles away.