A joke caused by misunderstanding

The following joke is good, have a look.

1. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

2. A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs, and the veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

3. A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!

4. A person was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a person rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "What do you envy? I didn't take off my pants. "

The English name of the next girl to interview is "spring". The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English level and shouted: Hi! Well, Chun, it's your turn!

6. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant?

I saw the man very nervous and said, but the child is not mine!

7. Are there military prostitutes in the army? Jun: Yes, there is no military discipline! Min: Really! Do I have to pay?

Jun: What money do you need? Our military discipline was handed down from above.

8. A man stormed into a unit and shouted: Is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: Yes, who bullied you?

9. Farmer: I often feel cold after sleeping at night. Doctor: Me too. At that time, I will hug my wife and get warm.

Farmer: That's a good idea, but when will it be convenient for your wife?

10. Before the execution, the warden asked the condemned man sitting in the electric chair: Do you have any other requirements?

Death row: I just hope you can hold my hand during the execution and make me feel better.

1 1. Female secretary: "Boss, your wife called. She said on the phone that she would kiss you." Boss: "You hold it for me first, and then come and give it to me later."

12. A Pang shaved his head and touched it with his roommate: like my girlfriend's ass. Fat also unconsciously touched: don't say, I really like it.

13. Melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, it's not sweet and it doesn't cost money!" Hungry passerby: "Wow! Great, boss, have a sweet one. "

14. Mrs. Wang is pregnant with quadruplets and shows off to her neighbors everywhere, saying that it is not easy to have quadruplets, and it takes an average of 60,000 times to happen. Mrs. Li was surprised: do you still have time to do housework?

15. Pastor: Which of you just had a birthday today? Tom raised his hand happily. Priest: Good. Please blow out these candles after the service!

16. Children are thinking about "heredity and environment". Mom interjected: This question is very simple. As we all know, children who look like their fathers are inherited. Like neighbors, that is the environment.

17. Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took a photo of him in a pigsty with pigs. The next day, I saw a postscript in the newspaper: the third from the left is Comrade Khrushchev.

18. Two middle-aged Americans limped into each other in the street. One of them is very excited: friend, Vietnam, 1969! The other pointed behind him: friend, banana peel, 20 feet!

19. The woman said: Why do you look so old-fashioned? M: If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?