A joke suitable for students.

There is a very tall coconut tree. There are four kinds of animals, orangutans, apes, monkeys and king kong. Who do you think will pick bananas first? Test your character.

The answer is: 1, and the monkey is the most typical 250; 2. Orangutans have low intelligence and few tendons; 3. Ape is the predecessor of Alzheimer's disease; 4. King Kong is a fool whose head is caught in the door; Have you ever seen a coconut tree grow bananas?

In order to attract business, Hot Pot City wrote such a sentence on the billboard: "Self-help hot pot, children under the height of 1 meter, 30 yuan is free for everyone." My aunt in kindergarten was very excited after reading it. With money from 30 yuan, she led 50 children in her class to Hotpot City.

One day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river. After fishing for a long time, I caught nothing and went home disappointed. But he didn't give up. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, but it didn't fall. On the third day, the persistent white rabbit went fishing again. Just as he reached the river, a fish jumped out and said to him, if you use radish as bait again, you will die.

There is a family, and the whole family is very lazy. Dad asked his mother to do housework, and if her mother didn't want to, she would let her do it, and if her sister didn't want to, she would let her dog do it. One day, a guest came home and was surprised to find that the dog was doing housework. Ask the dog: Puppy, can you do housework? ! The dog said, no way. If they don't do it, they will let me do it. The guests are even more surprised that you can talk! ! ! Puppy: Shh! Keep your voice down, or they will know that I can talk. Let me answer the phone! !

"The new diva" sang rock and roll at the top of her lungs in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to make a big change …" The bookworm who was reading a book suddenly looked up and was surprised.

Q: "Isn't the toilet empty?"

A man. Going out with him, I drove to the crossroads and asked him how to get there.

He pointed to the left and said, turn right! ! ! Turn right! ! ! ! !

Friends complain that the cost of buying clothes is too high recently. Others said they could buy clothes in XX. He replied that XX is expensive, but it's not beautiful. The man said it was not expensive. You see, my skirt is only 25, so it looks good. Without thinking, he complimented: You are really like a star. You wear 250 clothes.

When I was young, I remember coming home from an English class. My mother wanted me to brush it quickly, so she said, daughter! This research must take advantage of the fire to be effective!

I've thought about it for a long time. What she means is strike while the iron is hot.

When I was a child, I usually sold popsicles and ice cream by pushing bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )

A primary school student participated in the school recitation competition for the first time and was particularly nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: teachers and classmates, the topic I recited was: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves are red) ...

The three most popular words during the Iraq war: peace and war. Find it, connect these three English words, read them aloud for three times, and you will uncover a major historical mystery. (I farted) ...

Eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit.

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

When I was in college, I heard a girl order: Master, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour potato shreds, not potatoes!

When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate.

I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago. . . "

What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student. "

Drink with leaders and others, raise your glass and say loudly, "Let's die together!" My brain was too hot. ......

enchashment

One afternoon, my classmates got bored and went to work in CCB. A poorly dressed lady (a psychopath) came to his window and gave him a note asking him to withdraw money.

The note reads impressively: "Send Comrade XX to your bank to withdraw RMB". Then there are more than n zero yuan behind, which is * * * C.P Central Bureau * * *

My classmate wanted to call the police, but the woman with mental illness looked very serious, so I thought it would be better to call the security guard. (It is estimated that the security guards are also very idle).

Sure enough, the security guard said to the woman, "If you want to withdraw money from this note, you must first go to the opposite police station and let the director stamp it. After he stamps, it is no problem to withdraw money. "

Without thinking, the woman walked directly to the police station (this security guard is really unusual, and he is usually a little underestimated).

About ten minutes later, the number of customers in line slowly increased, and the woman came back happily, holding a note in her hand and saying, "People say that the procedures are simplified and you can withdraw money directly without the approval of the director."

Hearing this, my classmate couldn't help sighing that there were really experts in the police force and sent him back in a word.

My classmate and the security guard were both a little stupid at that time. There are many people in the business hall. I was afraid that her mental illness would affect the normal order, so I had to call the supervisor on duty.

The supervisor chatted with the female patient and asked her what she was doing with the money. The female patient said, "Take money to buy bread, cakes, food and clothes." The supervisor pointed to a place not far away, and the woman left happily again.

The security guard went to consult the "ingenious plan", and the supervisor said to the female patient at that time: "We are CCB here, and only by building a house can we withdraw money here. If you take money to buy vegetables, it must be vegetables. You have to go to the Agricultural Bank of China to buy clothes and other things. You have to go to ICBC to withdraw money! "

My classmates really admire you. After all, you are in charge! ! ! !

…………

After a while, the lady came back. And brought the answer of the Agricultural Bank: "The people of the Agricultural Bank said that this is an agricultural bank, and only farmers can withdraw money. I am an urban population. The people of ICBC said that we are a public bank here, only the male can take it, but the female can't. Say that I am a bitch and want to go to CCB to withdraw money. "

My classmate, security guard, supervisor, dizzy. . .

When the supervisor fainted, the deputy supervisor quickly called the monitor on duty for instructions. After the monitor inquired about the situation, he asked the deputy supervisor to give the phone to the woman and said, "Now the reform has been carried out, and CCB has become a joint-stock bank, which is in line with international standards. All the currencies issued are US dollars and British pounds. If you take RMB, you have to take it from the People's Bank. "