Please tell some good jokes, 3Q.

10, Women's Progress Award Today, when my wife came back from shopping, she shouted as soon as she entered the room, "I can't go on. Let's die. Can these two dead money last until the end of the month without eating or drinking? " Except for wages, there is nothing that does not go up. It's not enough for you to buy five yuan of pork and stew some sauerkraut. "Hurry back to * home tomorrow and bring more cabbage and potatoes. You are so persistent." Conveniently took out a pack of sanitary napkins and threw them on the table, saying something that shocked me: "I can't afford to menstruate again." "9. When I passed an intersection on the day of the Best Sound Award, I had a desire to fart. There happened to be a man riding a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover my fart. I didn't know the noise was too loud, so the motorcyclist thought it had started, put it in gear and left. I was embarrassed that time ... 8. The mobile phone manufacturer gave a friend a special prize, and he bought a new mobile phone. I accidentally dropped my mobile phone in the toilet. Fortunately, the things in the toilet pit are very sticky, and the mobile phone didn't go in. Just as he was about to find something for his mobile phone, someone called him! It happened that his mobile phone was tuned to vibrate again, and he watched it vibrate and slowly disappeared into the sticky pit ... 7. When he was repairing the computer at the IT annual award, he spit in the main box, and the computer popped up and found new hardware ~ 6. There are three people in the China Literature Prize Award Office, two men and one woman, the older man is 45 years old, the younger man is 2 1 year old and the younger woman. There is no competition between the three people, so they have a harmonious relationship and get along well. One day, this woman was promoted and moved out of this office. At the celebration dinner, the man toasted and asked the woman, "Why did you abandon your husband and children?" "Abandoning one's husband and children" caused the whole table to burst into laughter. Another day passed, and the young man also got a raise. At the celebration banquet, the husband of the lady who left first asked the old man sourly, "I heard that Mr. Wang made an amazing speech at the last banquet." What is there to say this time? " The man paused and said, "What can I say? I have struggled for half my life, and now I am separated from my wife! "5. Biology Hehe Award Chongqing once had a classic place name called" Man and Harmony ". There is a unit there, and the signboard is invincible. "Man and lean pig farm" 4. Before the best reading award went to the back door of China Normal University to have a barbecue, there was an advertisement with three lines: roast beef skewers, chicken legs and chicken hearts. Next to it, NB MM read aloud: roast beef ** 3, the best. We had to swipe our cards at the front door and get on the bus from the back door, but there were too many people on the bus to squeeze in the back door. So, the driver's big brother discussed with us: "I'll start the car first, drive slowly, and you run with the car." "My cousin and I both wondered: What kind of method is this? But I can't do anything except chase the car. Seeing that the car was about ten meters away, all of a sudden, the passengers on the car couldn't stay up, all of them fell to the front of the car, and the back door suddenly gave up a big place. At this moment, the driver's eldest brother proudly greeted us: "Get on the bus, get on the bus …". On the bus, I heard someone calling the radio station to order songs. A man called in and said, "I'm a foreigner. Now I can't buy a ticket to go home. I want to spend the New Year in Beijing. I want to order a song. The host asked him, "Who do you want to order a song for?" "At that time, I thought it was unnecessary to ask. It must be my parents and distant relatives. Who knows, he replied, "I want to order a song by Jordan chan and give it to all the staff and ticket sellers in Beijing Railway Station! 1, annual award When I was in college, I once wandered around the campus with the sixth student in my dormitory, drinking Pepsi cans while walking. When I saw a trash can, we made a bet to see who threw the farthest, and the loser invited me at night. I hit the nail on the head. By the sixth grade, he stood further and threw it on the top of the trash can with all his strength. Bang! There was a loud noise when the cans were dipped in Lao Gao. Just as a girl passed by, Lao Liu didn't drink the cans clean, and coke splashed on the girl's face. At first, Lao Liu and I hurried to apologize to her, but the girl just wouldn't let people talk and kept cursing. Lao Liu got angry and scolded her. I first saw them when I was this age. They kept cursing for about an hour, and suddenly the girl pointed to her face and said, "Are you all right? You can lick it clean! "Old six and I haven't reflected. Lao Liu is still reluctant. The girl went on to say, "Are you a waste child or a man!" " "Old six angry, grabbed her, moved her head, leaned her head in the past, stick out your tongue and licked it twice! Lao Liu also said to the girl, "All right! It's over! Hey! " Old six turned around and saw me gaping. We both burst out laughing. The girl also came to her senses and squatted on the ground crying. It doesn't look good. We quickly put in a good word and apologized to others. Later, I can't remember how she stopped crying. That night, Lao Liu invited the girl and my guests and sent the girl back to the dormitory at night. A few days later, that girl became the girlfriend of Lao Liu, and our dormitory was the first to fall in love. Later, I asked the girl about the scene at that time, and she said that she was dizzy and made a big joke. However, she thinks Liu is good, so she will be wrong. Since the sixth year, our dormitory always asks if there is intimate behavior in love and asks, "Did you lick it?" .