Requesting jokes about Warcraft

The Story of the Death Knight

The Death Knight went to the mercenary camp to recruit mercenaries. He wanted to use the bathroom on the way and didn't know where to go.

But I can’t hold it in anymore, oh, it’s so urgent.

In the end, there was no choice... Alas, there it is! ? The Death Knight held Icemourne in his hand, so he pulled it on his sword, then swung it up, and whoosh - it went up the tree.

At this moment, a certain elf also came to hire. He looked up and saw, huh?

The death knight looked embarrassed and hurriedly pulled the elf aside and took out a heavy Warcraft gold coins, whispered: "I will give you a gold coin, you must not tell this matter."

The elf also whispered: "I will give you ten gold coins , please tell me how to pull it up."

2. Take a bath

A new night elf archdruid is going to do some practical work for the hunters and arrange a visit to the ancient tree of knowledge. Take a bath with Tsukijing. So all the male and female hunters were called together for a lecture.

"Attention everyone, tomorrow, in the morning, the female hunter will take a bath, and the male hunter will visit. In the afternoon, the male hunter will take a bath, and the female hunter will visit.

You must abide by the rules, ah, you are only allowed to look, not touch. , taking pictures is absolutely prohibited."

The audience was in an uproar.

3. Calmness

One night, the altar of the elders caught fire, and many heroes ran out. The demon hunter came over and said, "You don't have to be so panicked. When I heard the fire, I got up from the bed, lit a cigarette, and dressed calmly. I felt that the eyeband didn't fit, so I took it off and changed it." , without any panic! Whenever danger occurs, remember to be calm, calm!"

"That's great," the watchman said, "Then why don't you wear pants?" /p>

4. Not discerning

One day, after the game started, a demon followed the female priest all the way, pestering her endlessly.

After arriving at the base, Lao Lu saw the demon still standing not far from the door and volunteered to chase him away.

Lao Lu went out and shouted: "You have no vision, you like my wife!"

5. Missing the point

A certain orc base was attacked by a blood mage. The peon panicked and called for help.

"Fire out! Fire out!" An urgent and panicked cry for help came from the phone.

"Where?" asked the fire brigade operator.

"At my base!"

"I mean where is the fire?"

"In the bunker!"

"I know, but how are we going to get to your base?"

"Don't you have a firetruck?"

6. Too accurate

"Dwarves , why did you quit your job in the factory?”

“They were so accurate! The last time I was loading gunpowder, the gunpowder exploded and I fell into the air. My salary was deducted and I was said to have been idle for 6 seconds!”

7. Stuttering

A certain prophet would stutter when he was nervous. Once when he led his army to fight against the dark night, he found that an archer was in a state of anemia, so he wanted to kill her with a flash: "Flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, lightning!" As soon as he finished speaking, six people immediately The archer fell dead.

8. Same as above

An undead succubus wooed a two-headed ogre and said, "If you don't promise me, I will be the most miserable person in the world!"

The two-headed ogre said: "If I promise you, same as above."

9. What a ghost

One night, the prophet put his wolf outside the house to urinate , and then he forgot to let the wolf in while watching TV. He was shocked when he thought of opening the door, because his dog had the pig of the neighbor Beast King in its mouth, and the pig was already dead.

"Dead wolf! Stinky wolf! Rotten wolf!!" After scolding for a while, the prophet calmly thought about what to do.

He was afraid to tell his neighbors, so he decided to clean up the pigs and put them outside the Beastmaster's base to pretend that nothing was wrong.

So he took the pig to the bathroom and washed away the blood and mud on the pig. He washed it repeatedly and washed it four times before it was clean. Then he dried the pig and combed it for beauty. , it took him three hours to get it done, and then he took advantage of the dark night and high wind to put the pig outside the Beast King's base without anyone noticing.

The next day, when he went out to MF, his neighbor Beast King stopped him: "Hey! Prophet, last night was really a ghost."

The prophet was sweating nervously and said : "Oh! Really? What happened?"

"My pig died yesterday morning. I buried it. This morning it was lying in front of my house as usual..."

10. The first night of the wedding

On the first night of the wedding, in order to "do business", the watchman had already put on a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed in a seductive posture.

But an hour passed, and the devil was still looking out the window, fully dressed. The watchman reminded him impatiently: "Why don't you take off your clothes and go to bed?" He replied: "You go to sleep first! Leave me alone, because my mother told me that tonight was the most beautiful night I could ever see, so now I don't want to waste a second of my chance to see the night view."

11 .Looking for hair

Juggernaut went to the barber shop to get a haircut. Juggernaut: How much does a haircut cost? Barber: 10 yuan.

Juggernaut: Why is it so expensive! You know, I am a nearly bald person.

Barber: Of course I know. Only 3 of the 10 yuan is for haircuts, and the other 7 yuan is for hair.

12. A : "Why do you always like to use Fire Phoenix?"

B: "What do you think?"

A: "Oh, I understand, Fire Phoenix is ??originally 94 cooked food, you can directly Provide food to the team."

(B is killing monsters with Naga Siren's lightning)

13. A: "Why is she holding so many fishing lines?"

B: "Get rid of it, it's forked lightning."

A: "Oh, I thought she was going to fly a kite to ask for help."

14. Dark Night:

Tiger Girl: What are you looking at?

Watcher: I am waiting for the meteor to pass by. I heard the blind man said that making a wish on the shooting star will be very effective.

Tiger Girl: That’s easy. *#·￥#·￥…………(Close your eyes and recite the mantra)

A moment later

Tiger Girl: What’s wrong with you? Why are you covered in wounds?

Watcher: Me. . . . I. . . . Hit by a meteor.

Tiger Girl: Aren’t you able to shine?

Watcher:. . . . . . . . There are too many shooting stars. . . . . . .

15. Orcs:

Coolie: Report, there are not enough manpower on the construction site. Can you guys come and help?

Prophet: Let the Juggernaut go.

Niutou: Call the sword master.

Shadow Hunter: Go Juggernaut.

Juggernaut: Why do you only ask me to do hard work?

Everyone: You will be able to take over three of you.

16. Undead:

Lich: You are so disgusting. Can you please stop taking your little ones out all day if you have nothing to do?

Crypt Lord: What happened to me? The Dreadlord also has a swarm of smelly flies.

Dread Lord: What happened to me? That donkey-faced guy still throws shit all day long.

Death Knight:. . . . . . . .

17. Human race:

Dafa: Actually, it is the most cost-effective for me to go out for MF and fight. Isn’t it just like calling two small water people for fun? Save soldiers.

El Chapo: Yes, yes!

Paladin: Enemy, it will be even better if I add more blood to you.

Blood spell: It’s more practical than my Phoenix.

Dafa: Is that okay? My sailors are cheap and plentiful. They are really the first choice for MF and killing. . .

Dong dong dong (sound of banging on the door)

"Old man, come out here. We are from the water plant. How many months have you not paid the water bill? You still use so much every month. , if you default further we will kill your horse."

Dwarf: -_-!

Paladin: -_-!

Blood Mage: - _-!

18-year-old boy loves basketball and World of Warcraft. After the results of a chemistry test came back, in the office... Teacher: "Did you listen in class? You can't even do such a simple question?!"

Boy: "Teacher, I'm sorry that I'm not Intellectual, so..."

Teacher: "Also, why haven't you finished the test? You still fell asleep halfway through the test!

Boy: "Oh, that's it. ...I can only blame me for not being agile, and later on I lost all my stamina. ”

Teacher: “Then why are you so good at basketball?” Can't you just study? ! ”

Boy: “Because I am powerful.” "

Teacher: "..."

In the chat room on the 19th

A rookie: "I just started playing World of Warcraft. UD, what tactics does UD have? "

A NE master: "Well, there are explosive dogs, and..."

Rookie: "Oh, it turns out that Warcraft also has a pet system. ”

In the 20th Politics class

Teacher: “This classmate, what is the name of a person who violates the law?” ”

Student: “Are those who break the law the same as those who break the law?” "

Teacher: "It can also be explained this way. ”

Student: “Oh, it’s called the Law Breaker.” "

21 just started at the school gate

The teacher on duty: "Why isn't this student wearing a school uniform? ”

Classmate: “I heard there is a proficiency test today.” ”

Teacher on duty: “Oh, can I stop wearing them if I have a thorough examination?” "

Classmate: "The school uniform does not have any additional attributes. My clothes are just pieces of JP, with 6 intelligence, agility, and strength. "

22. In the Chinese class, the teacher asked everyone to discuss their opinions on ** articles

Boy A: "The girls in Warcraft are very ghostly. ”

Boy B: “That’s right, Idian is still the most handsome.” ”

Boy A: “The blood elf mage is so handsome, with yellow hair, so fashionable.” ”

Boy B: “Who said that, Udian is the most handsome!” ”

Boy A: “The blood elf mage is the most handsome!” ”

Just like this, we had a quarrel in class

23 I played the single-player game of TFT, and when I played the human blood elf battle

Classmate: “She Who is it? Mermaid? "

Me: "She is the Naga Siren. ”

Classmate: “Then what is this?” "

Me: "Boots of speed, wear them to run fast. "

Classmate: "What about her feet? ”

Me: “…”

24. One day, in the electronic reading room of the school, a boy’s computer crashed. There were so many people, so he shouted without thinking: "Boss, change the computer!" "

At a relative's house on 25th

The little girl asked innocently: "Brother, why can't people be resurrected after death? ”

Brother: “It’s very simple, because none of us are heroes.” "

26 One of my classmates was extremely obsessed with World of Warcraft. There must be Warcraft within three sentences. One morning I saw his eyes were bloodshot.

I asked: "Is it another time? Fighting World of Warcraft all night? "

This classmate: "No, I watched a cartoon one night last night, it was very touching..."

I think, the sun came out from the west today, 3 sentences There is no word "World of Warcraft 2" in it, but this classmate added: "It's called "Beauty and Warcraft".

”

27 sent me a few other people’s jokes, I hope you all like them

In order to compete for the penultimate position, the two rookies in my class decided to challenge each other. I was afraid that the scene would not be intense, so everyone A simple computer was added, and I acted as a referee.

The scene went on in an orderly manner. Later, I went to WC because of a stomachache. When I came back, I found that the two of them were sitting at the computer strangely and not operating. He kept shouting "Come on." When he looked at the screen, he fainted~~~ The two of them were killed by the computer, waiting for the computer to decide the winner...amp;

28

;My classmate asked me to teach him World of Warcraft, so he started from the basics.

In actual combat, he asked: "How to create a hero?" "

Me: "Build an altar. "

After a while he asked: "How do you create a hero? "

Me: "Build an altar. "

After a while he asked again: "How do you create a hero? "

Me: "Build an altar! ”

He: “How many should we make?” I've made 3 of them. ”

When I was a freshman in high school on 29, I had a computer class at school, and all the homework was done in class. Once, everyone had to do a FLASH, and *** did 5 classes. Suddenly...

Several boys: "Teacher, where is my homework? Didn't it come up? ”

Teacher: “I didn’t see it, then pass it on again.” ”

A boy: “This is bad.” ”

Another boy: “Why is mine gone? It was still there just now.” ”

After 10 minutes of tossing, the boys were all crowded in front of the teacher’s computer like sardines. It suddenly dawned on them: It turned out that everyone had set the file name to LOSTTEMPLE.

30 In a math class, a boy was talking during analytical geometry.

Teacher: "Can this classmate please tell me what line AM is?" ”

Boy: “Teacher, A and M should be discussed separately.” ”

Teacher: “Do you have another good method?” ”

Boy: “A is for attack, M is for movement. ”

31 Rookie: “Excuse me, what is the difference between Spider Stream and Spider Sea?” "

Another rookie: "Well, there are more spider seas than spider streams. "

Rookie; "Why? ”

Another rookie: “Compared to the stream or the sea, which one contains more water molecules? ”

32 Rookie: “How to use Explosive Dog?” "

Master: "Surround us. "

Rookie: "It still doesn't work. There doesn't seem to be self-destruction in the skill bar. ”

Teacher 33: “Students, what do you want to do when you grow up?” "

A boy: "Farmer. "

Teacher: "Why? "

Boy: "Because farmers can live in the castle. "

Teacher: "Huh? "

Running 1,000 meters in the 34th physical education class

Teacher: "What did you do today? You ran for a full 5 minutes!" ”

Student: “I’m sorry, I forgot to wear my speed boots today.” ”

Master in driving class 35: “You must be extra careful when driving a vehicle. What does this indicate about the characteristics of the car?” Student: "The car has siege characteristics." ”

36. Girl: “What are GG’s hobbies?” ”

Boy: “Iamp; LIKEamp; WARCRAFT. ”

Girl: “Terrorist!” ”

Boy: “Why?” ”

Girl: “WARCRAFT backwards is CRAFT&; WAR, which means weaving war!” ”

37 Boy A: “Who is the guy with all white hair and green eyes on the packaging box? "

Boy B: "That guy is very similar to Arthas, of course he is his father.

”

(This is just a joke, the guy with all white hair and green eyes doesn’t know if he got Arthas after Frostmourne)

38 A boy is playing. The Devil's Gate level in TFT's Human Blood Elf campaign

Boy A: "Why is the skin of the orcs in the Chaos Legion red? ”

Boy B: “It’s originally red. ”

Boy A: “Oh, I thought I was color blind.” " lt; BRgt;

39 A boy used NE. The Dark Ranger had just reached level 6. He ran to the HUM base and seduced a farmer. He went home and started building HUM buildings. He was so happy that he laughed wildly.

Friend on the side: "What's wrong with you? What makes you so happy? ”

Boy: “I just seduced a farmer.” "

Friend: "Huh? Men seduce men! "

On the 40th, a girl was waiting for her BF

The girl said: "Where are you now? ”

BF: “I’m in the store. "

Girl: "Which store? Where? ”

BF: “It’s the one in the center of the map. "

41; A: "Why is that guy called an ogre? ”

B: “Because he has two heads and eats a lot. If he has nothing to satisfy his hunger, he can only eat people.” "

42A: "Is the lich male or female? ”

B: “Of course it’s a man.” ”

A: “Why? Was DNA extracted from his bones and tested? ”

43 SISTER at the Zoo: “Brother, what do pandas like to eat the most?” ”

BROTHER: “Of course it’s wine. "

44MM: "Who is she? The lips are so sexy! ” GG: “She is a dryad. ”

MM: “Oh, the monster in the tree.” Wouldn't her size break the branches? ”

A 45-year-old boy was playing WC. A friend on the side said: “Today is your birthday. What gift do you want most now?” Boy: "Hurry up and get a bottle of invincible potion!" ”

46 School handed in homework books in the morning

Teacher: “This student, where is your exercise book?” ”

Student: “Which exercise book? ”

Teacher: “It’s the yellow one.” ”

Student: “Oh, it turns out to be the Book of Experience. I used it long ago last night.” "

47A: "What is the greatest use of a repairman? ” B: “Demolish the house. "amp;

A 48-year-old boy was playing WCIII, and his friend sent him a text message to find him

Friend: "Where are you? ”

Boy: “I’m in WC TFT.” "

His friend looked towards the women's restroom (he thought the F in TFT refers to women)

Friend: "Hey! What are you doing in the women's room? ”

Boy: “Dun, I’m in an Internet cafe.” ”

49 An ugly girl is playing WARIII

Boy: “Why do girls use UD? They should use NE.” ”

Ugly girl: “The NE ones are all beautiful, but the UD ones are ugly. ”

Boy: “What does this have to do with anything?” ”

Ugly girl: “If you look at those UD dolls, you will think they are ugly.” "

50; MOTHER: "Why don't you sleep? Stay up late every day. ”

Boy: “I should learn from them.” "

MOTHER: "Who? ”

Boy: “He is the hero in WARIII. He is very energetic even if he doesn’t sleep.” ”