Humorous classical stories of China.

1. Humorous stories in the original text of classical Chinese and translation When I was studying classical Chinese at school, my deskmate was sleeping, and the teacher told him to get up and translate. "I'm not afraid of death. There's nothing to refuse a glass of wine."

I saw that the buddy picked up the book and said, "I'm not afraid of drinking to death!" " In the laughter of the whole class, he continued to translate: "How can a cup be?" Everyone was knocked down by thunder. A meat thief went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped to urinate in front of a toilet on the side of the road and hung the meat outside.

Seeing this, the second man stole the meat. Before he went far, A came out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen anyone take his meat from the toilet.

B was afraid that A would see through, so he put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How to hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you put meat in your mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Han Weiyuchun's "Laughing Forest" name game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, is very eloquent, especially good at word games. When he is not the king, he tries to play with the king, a senior minister.

Wang laughed at the name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is similar to call it' lack of talent'. " Hearing this, he immediately laughed at Wang's surname: "The word Wang is added to the left of the word, 呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄2157

Wang was tongue-tied and embarrassed. On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was present.

During the dinner, Lu Yuanming made fun of his surname and said, "The word' Xu' means not entering the people (Wei added' Yu' and' Jin')." Immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname-the word "Lu": "The word" Lu "means" An "printed a public character as" Lu ",and then matched it with a horse to make a donkey. "

Lu Yuanming was flushed and speechless, and the room was full of laughter. -Old title Sui Houbai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official in the Tang Dynasty and often worked with people in solve riddles on the lanterns. Hou Baixian made three chapters for everyone: "What you guess must be a visible object; Second, you can't make empty explanations to confuse everyone; Third, if the explanation is finished, but you can't see this thing, you should be punished. "

Then he first made a riddle: "The back is as big as a house, the abdomen is as big as a pillow (the crossbar behind the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup." Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed right. They all said, "Where is an object with a mouth as big as a cup and a back as big as a room?" There is no such thing. You must make a bet with all of us. "

Hou Bai finished gambling with everyone and explained, "This is the swallow's nest." They burst out laughing.

On another occasion, Hou Bai attended a large banquet. During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for entertainment.

What you guess can neither be strange nor difficult to understand, nor can it be abstract and untrue. Hou Bai replied, "There is something as big as a dog and looks like an ox.

What is this? "People are competing to guess, some people say it's a roe deer, others say it's a deer, but they all deny it. Let Hou Bai tell the answer.

Hou Bai laughed and said, "This is a calf." -The old title "Qi" by Sui Houbai asks for the name of Tianbao. In his early years, the famous secret supervisor He wrote to the court and wanted to retire to his hometown of Wuzhong.

Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently. When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears.

Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had. Zhang Zhi said: "I know that Zhang Zhang has a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives it a name, I will be honored to return to China. "

Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao. Blessed people have faith. The son of Qing should be named Fu. "

Know the chapter and thank humbly. It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me.

I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is the word' claw' followed by the word' zi'. He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? -Gao Songyi's "Living in Groups" does not know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems.

One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel. In the evening, he heard someone talking next door: "A song."

After a while, he said, "One more song." Ai Zi was baffled and sleepy all night.

Lying until dawn, * * * heard the man in the next room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He was quietly absorbed in poetry at the foot of the mountain, and he felt respect in his heart. He also liked this man's quick thinking and decided to get to know him.

Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her. Soon, a peddler-like man came out of the next room, thin and ill.

Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet. Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly. He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can I see them? "

The man said, "I'm a businessman and I never know what poetry is." Has refused to come up with poetry.

Ai Zi stubbornly said, "I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then you said' one'. Isn't that a poem? " Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood. Last night, my stomach was upset. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find toilet paper at night, so I wipe it with my hands.

Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times. When I say' hand', I don't mean the first poem. "

Ai Zi felt ashamed to hear that. -The Word Game of Lao Shi's Essays on Ai Zi Su Dongpo heard that Wang's Essays on Words had just been written, so he went to the office to congratulate him and joked: "In the masterpiece, it is said that' bamboo' whips and' horses' are' Benedict'.

But I still have a question: "I don't know what's so funny about whipping dogs with bamboo?" Gong Jing just laughed and asked, "What evidence is there to prove that the word' pigeon' is changed from the word' bird' to the word' nine'?" Dongpo immediately replied: "The Book of Songs says:' The dead pigeon is in mulberry, and his son is seven', plus their parents, it is exactly nine." Hearing Wang's words, he nodded happily.

It was a long time before I knew that Su Dongpo had played a big joke with him again. -Su Song Wang Shizhen's "Teasing" Three-point Poetry Seven-point Reading Qin once told a story that the poet Guo once passed by Hangzhou and gave Su Dongpo a volume of poetry he wrote for appreciation.

Before Dongpo could read the poem, he began to recite it vividly and read it directly with emotion and voice.

2. Interesting stories in classical Chinese Three interesting stories in classical Chinese: A meat thief went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped in front of a roadside toilet to relieve himself and hung the meat outside.

Seeing this, the second man stole the meat. Before he went far, A came out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen anyone take his meat from the toilet.

B was afraid that A would see through, so he put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How to hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you put meat in your mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Han Wei Danchun's "Laughing Forest" What is the name of Tang Xuanzong Tianbao? In the early years, He, a minister with a famous literary name, wrote to the court and wanted to retire to his hometown of Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently.

When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears. Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had.

Zhang Zhi said: "I know that Zhang Zhang has a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives it a name, I will be honored to return to China. " Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao. Blessed people have faith.

Qing's son should be called Fu. "Know chapter thank humbly.

It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is the word' claw' followed by the word' zi'.

He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? When Su Dongpo heard that Wang's On Ci had just been written, he went to the government to congratulate him and joked: "In the masterpiece, it is said that' bamboo' whips' horses' as' Benedict'. But I still have a question: "I don't know what's so funny about whipping dogs with bamboo?" Gong Jing just laughed and asked, "Is there any evidence that the word' pigeon' is changed from' bird' to' nine'? Dongpo immediately replied, "The Book of Songs says,' The dead pigeon is in mulberry, and his son is seven'. Together with their parents, it is exactly nine. "

Hearing Wang's words, he nodded happily. It was a long time before I knew that Su Dongpo had played a big joke with him again.

-Song, Su Shi, Ming and Wang Shizhen's second "Teasing".

3. Recommend some humorous stories in classical Chinese and their translations.

Taoist, monk, beard crossed the river. Suddenly, when the wind blew, the boat was about to capsize, and monks and Taoists panicked. They threw the scriptures into the river and asked God for help. There is nothing to throw at the beard, just tear it off one by one and throw it into the river. The monk asked, "What's the use of pulling out a beard?" The man said, "I throw my hair (anchor) here."

Translation:

A Taoist priest, a monk and a bearded man were crossing the river when suddenly they met a strong wind and the ship was about to sink. Monks and Taoists are afraid. Hurriedly throw the scriptures into the river and ask God for help. Beard had nothing to throw, so he tore it off and threw it into the river. The monk asked him, "Why did you pull out your beard?" The beard replied, "I threw my hair here."

2. Cross the bridge

A countryman came back from the city and said to his wife, "I sneezed countless times in the city." The wife said, "I miss you at home." He walked across the dangerous bridge with dung on his shoulder every day. After repeating it several times, he almost slipped. Instead, he scolded, "Sao Hua Niang, even if you miss me, you have to see what it is!" "

Translation:

A countryman came home from the city and said to his wife, "I sneezed several times when I was in the city." The wife said, "That's all because I miss you at home." One day, he picked up a load of dung and walked across a rickety bridge. Suddenly he sneezed a few times and almost fell into the river. He scolded: "this slut, even if I want to, I have to see where it is!" "

3, taboo deafness

Deaf and dumb people want to hide their secrets. If you have been deaf for a day, you can sing a song and the dumb will know that you are deaf. You can tie a knot by opening and closing your lips and clapping your hands. The deaf will listen for a long time. Seeing that his lips stopped, he praised: "Wonderful, wonderful. I haven't heard good news for a long time, and today is even better. "

Translation:

The deaf envy themselves for being deaf, and the dumb envy themselves for being dumb. One day, the deaf saw the mute and begged him to sing a song, which was actually a mockery of his shortcomings. Knowing that the other person is deaf, the mute closes his lips one by one, beats his hands and pretends to sing. The deaf also pretend to listen. Seeing the mute's lips motionless, he praised him and said, "Great, I haven't heard your wonderful singing for a long time, and I have made progress today."

Step 4 yawn

A deaf man went to visit a friend. The dog barks when it sees it. He was at a loss. Meet the host. After the ceremony, he said, "Your family respects dogs. I don't think they slept last night. " The host asked, "What do I think?" Answer: "I just yawned when I saw my little brother."

Translation:

A deaf man went to visit a friend. My friend's dog saw him barking, but the deaf didn't notice him. After entering the back room to see the owner bow to each other, he said to the owner, "Does your dog think he didn't sleep last night?" The host asked, "What do I think?" The deaf man said, "The dog kept yawning when he saw his little brother."

Step 5 ask for directions

A nearsighted man got lost and saw a crow parked on a stone by the roadside. He suspected that it was human, so he repeatedly called him names. After a while, the crow flew away, and the man said, "I asked you to disagree. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you."

Translation:

A nearsighted man lost his way and saw a crow standing on a stone by the roadside. He thought it was a man, so he asked for directions. I asked several times, but no one answered. After a while, the crow flew away. Myopia said to himself, "Hum, I asked you if you didn't agree just now. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you. "

4. China's classical humorous story Wolf Pu Songling Original: A butcher came home late at night, and the meat was gone, leaving only bones.

On the way, the two wolves traveled a long way. Eliminate fear and throw it at the bone.

The wolf has a bone to stop, and the wolf still comes from. After the re-voting, the post-wolf stopped and the former wolf came again.

The muscles and bones are exhausted, and the two waves drive together. Tu was embarrassed. He was afraid of being attacked by the enemy.

There is a wheat field in Gu Ye, where the landowner earns a lot of money. Tu Naiben leaned against it with a knife on his shoulder.

Wolves are afraid to go forward, eyeing each other. When I was a child, a wolf left and a dog sat in front of him.

After a long time, my eyes seem to be useless and very idle. Tu suddenly and violently, wielding a knife to cut the wolf's head, killed several times.

Fang wanted to go, but after turning to pay, a wolf hole was among them, which meant to tunnel in and attack the back. The body is half in, and only the tail is exposed.

After the slaughter, he died of a broken stock. It was the wolf who fell asleep before enlightenment, and covered it to lure the enemy.

The wolf was afraid, too, but he was killed twice in an instant. What is the geometry of the beast? Stop laughing. At dusk, a butcher came back with meat, and a wolf came to see the meat. It seemed to be drooling and followed for miles.

Sudden fear shows that it is a blade, but not as good as it is; Walk, walk, walk out of it. If you don't plan to slaughter, instead of hanging a tree and taking it early, think about the wolf's meat.

Then hook up the meat and hang it between the trees, showing that it is empty. The wolf is the only one.

Tugui was so embarrassed that I went to get the meat and looked at the giant hanging from the tree in the distance, like a hanged man.

Big scary, wandering myopia, then the dead wolf is also. Looking up carefully, I saw that the wolf had meat in his mouth, which stung the wolf's upper jaw like a fish swallowing bait.

At that time, the price of wolf skin was high, more than ten gold. It is ridiculous to ask for fish from the wood, and the wolf will suffer.

A massacre at dusk, forced by wolves. Next to the road, there was a room left by night ploughing and rushed into the shadow.

The wolf extended his paw to it. Tu is in a hurry and can't go.

But you can die without thinking. It's just that the space of the knife is not enough, so I cut the skin under the wolf's paw and blow it by blowing.

When I tried to blow it away, I felt that the wolf was not very active, so I tied it with a belt. Out of sight, the wolf swelled like an ox, its legs were crooked and its mouth could not be closed.

Then take it back.

5. China's classical humorous stories [original]

If Lu has a long pole to enter the city gate, hold it firmly at the beginning and cannot enter; You can't get in if you hold it sideways. Nothing can be done. My father came to Russia and said, "I am not a saint, but I have seen a lot!" " Why not use a saw? "So I cut it off.

Translation:

There was a man in the state of Lu who went to town with a thick and long bamboo root. When he reached the gate, he stood up to get it, but he was stuck by the gate. He took it sideways and got stuck in the walls on both sides. After a long struggle, he was too tired to enter the city. An old man next to him looked at him and smiled: "You big straw bag! There is only one string in my head! At my age, I have crossed more bridges than you have. Why don't you ask me? " The bamboo seller quickly bowed to him: "Please give me more advice!" " The old man stroked his white beard and said, "It's very simple. You saw the bamboo in two and went in. " "If the bamboo is sawed off, it can't be used." "That's better than being stuck outside the city!" The bamboo seller borrowed a saw, sawed off the bamboo and took it to the city.

[hint]

If the bamboo seller is stupid and ridiculous, then the old man with white beard who likes to teach others a lesson is even more stupid. Some "old hands" always like to do things according to old experience and old rules. They are not good at flexibly considering extremely simple or even common sense problems according to the actual situation. As a result, many bad ideas were put forward.

6. Interesting Composition in Ancient Chinese Class On Friday, I had the honor to listen to "Teaching Ancient Chinese" by Zhu Wenjun, the primary school Chinese teacher's editor. Teacher Zhu used humorous teaching language and humorous teaching style to turn the difficult classical Chinese into an interesting classroom.

First of all, we like listening to stories best. Before teaching classical Chinese, Mr. Zhu created a situation and vividly told the story of eye-nose-eyebrow-mouth-ear quarrel in humorous language, which fully stimulated our interest in learning. In teaching, Mr. Zhu deliberately slowed down the pace of teaching, allowing us to understand the meaning independently first, and then ask the explanation of key words, revealing the basic way of understanding classical Chinese, which is clear and impressive.

Second, Teacher Zhu asked us to speak, guess, read and act. He induces students to guess a plot from time to time, and then shows us sentences for us to interpret, which fully arouses our "appetite". Third, Teacher Zhu's own model reading is very interesting, and the exaggerated expressions and actions are humorous, which makes people laugh.

In reading aloud, Mr. Zhu is also ingenious, and vividly interprets the small ancient prose with his rich and varied posture, contrasting expression and cadence. Four interests, Mr. Zhu used the characters in the text to talk to us about a teaching point many times at the scene, and the interaction between teachers and students fully demonstrated the characteristics of each character. We are full of interest, acting with emotion and interest, and full of life.

Teacher Zhu deliberately presupposes suspense and does not directly reveal the content of the speech. Instead, let us guess what the host will say based on our own experience and train us to speak according to the speaker's personality imagination. This is a high-quality language training art, and after a class, we have a strong interest in learning.

The boring ancient poems are so interesting.

7. The humorous stories in classical Chinese boast rich original texts. A person who gets lost meets a mute and doesn't answer questions. Only when he makes money by himself will he show his money and be willing to guide him.

This person is metaphorical, that is, he uses it to count money. The dumb man opened his mouth to show the way, and the man asked, "Why don't you have the money to pretend to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money!" " A man lost his way and met a "mute" who asked and didn't answer. The "dumb" just motioned for money with his hand before giving directions.

The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out a few dollars and gave it to the "dumb". "Dumb" then opened his mouth to show the way, and the lost man asked, "Why pretend to be dumb?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money."

Excerpted from Laughing at Guang Lin Collection, Laughing at Guang Lin Collection was collected by the owners of the famous brand games in Qing Dynasty, mostly from jokes in Ming and Qing Dynasties.