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I dare not say that I am afraid of being laughed at after divorce.

My friend, you lack confidence. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages in any personality. Find self-confidence and everything will be fine. Because you have confidence and a good attitude, your life will be better. Read more books and exercise more to get yourself out of the current trough. Don't talk about divorce yet. Everyone will be tired. Treat your other half as a special friend first, and you will get better gradually.