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Why do couples get more and more violent when they quarrel?
When both sides insist on their own opinions and no one is willing to give up, no matter how small a matter is, it will be magnified dozens of times and become intractable, so there is a saying that taking a step back will open up the world.
But it is difficult for people who are angry to calm down and solve problems with a correct attitude. Most people argue in front of others and only bow their heads and admit their mistakes when they cannot win.
After experiencing it many times, I realized that quarreling with my wife is just adding fuel to the fire. If you want to put out the fire, you can only follow the fire, otherwise her fighting power will skyrocket with the degree of your talking back, which will make you two The noise is getting louder and fiercer, with no signs of easing up.
So experienced men have summed up the joke that "he who obeys his wife will prosper, and he who disobeys his wife will perish".
Understanding the ball-racing effect, there are still some people who will not take a step back to deal with quarrels, because they always maintain a breath of life, so no matter what happens, no matter whether it is right or wrong, they will not be able to restrain themselves. The "ball" that shoots into the air.
It is conceivable that the back-and-forth behavior will definitely lead to reluctance. Once the frequency becomes too much, it will hurt the relationship and damage the marriage.
Every time parents quarrel and quarrel, either the mother keeps nagging and the father remains silent, or the father is angry and the mother pretends not to hear. When the anger is vented, whose fault is it? If you make a mistake, you will be the first to apologize, and the two of you will make peace as before.
I didn’t understand it before. I felt so frustrated that I couldn’t quarrel even if I wanted to. Later, when I saw my parents getting closer and closer, I understood their way of quarreling. When the family quarreled, I just couldn’t. It will develop in a good direction.
I also asked my parents how to endure the behavior of not replying. They said that there is no so-called face between husband and wife, let alone being angry. The trivial things made me blush and neck thick.
Once some damage is done, it is difficult to undo it. Is it worth having an earth-shattering quarrel with your closest partner just to fight for it?
So, since you regard her as your partner, let "shooting the ball" become a transition. The first time is harder, the second time is lighter, and the third time is slower, so that you are no longer angry and let her No more rebounding. This method is collectively known as arguing with one or two sentences to express your attitude, and then patiently coaxing.
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