Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman: What happened to the mistresses and first wives in the end?

Love is emotional and cannot be measured rationally

Recently, Lin Youyou, who is only thirty, and Wang Yao, the stepmother in the secret corner, have been scolded several times. It became a hot search topic and made people angry.

On Douban, there was even a topic called "The mistress must die a good death."

Due to the memorable characters in these popular dramas, we seem to regard the mistress as a heinous character.

Here, I would like to introduce the story of a pair of famous mistresses in the Republic of China, namely Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo.

Xu Zhimo’s first wife was Zhang Youyi, but Xu Zhimo did not like this marriage. He thought this was just marriage and not love, so he wanted to find love.

Zhang Youyi loves Xu Zhimo very much. Even though Xu Zhimo and Lin Huiyin have a relationship, Zhang Youyi is a typical traditional Chinese woman. All she can do every day is wait for her husband Xu Zhimo to return home.

Another female character in the same situation, Lu Xiaoman, and her first husband Wang Geng got together only after their parents ordered a matchmaker. Wang Geng loves Lu Xiaoman very much, but because Lu Xiaoman is born with a free and romantic temperament, which is very different from many famous ladies of the Republic of China at that time, Wang Geng, as Lu Xiaoman's husband, really cannot understand the so-called romance in the eyes of his wife Lu Xiaoman.

In fact, they were not a match made in heaven, but at that time they were already considered a good model of a couple.

But unfortunately, Xu Zhimo and Wang Geng were friends. One time Xu Zhimo went to visit Wang Geng's house and met Lu Xiaoman.

Probably this is the bloody plot often seen in TV dramas. They naturally fell in love with each other, and then a married woman and a married man got together like this. This was shocking in the Republic of China at that time.

After Lu Xiaoman and Wang Geng broke up, she also found out that she had Wang Geng's child, so Lu Xiaoman aborted the unborn child. Because the hospital at that time was not professional, this abortion made Lu Xiaoman unable to have children from now on.

Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman got together like this. During the wedding, they invited the famous celebrity Liang Qichao to be a witness to the wedding. Liang Qichao is also Xu Zhimo’s teacher.

Liang Qichao, like you who are listening to this story, did not bless this marriage. He directly cursed them in the wedding ceremony. Liang Qichao's curse words were recorded in detail.

At the wedding, Liang Qichao gave the most unsparing speech in the history of the Republic of China:

"I came here to say a few unpleasant words so that the society would know that this Such bad examples are not worthy of encouragement, and both of you have been divorced and remarried. You will regret it and start anew! May this be the last time you get married! >

Then he continued:

"Xu Zhimo, you have such an impetuous temperament that you can't achieve anything in learning, knowledge, and life. You divorce and remarry just for the sake of love. Proof of incompetence! Lu Xiaoman, you and Xu Zhimo are both experienced. I hope that from now on you can abide by women's ethics and review your own personality and behavior. Divorce and remarriage are all caused by the fault of your character. I hope you will not make any mistakes. Don’t make the mistake of yourself or others again. Don’t use selfishness as the guideline for your actions. Don’t use absurdity and enjoyment as the purpose of life. Don’t treat marriage as a child’s play. You can get married if you are happy and divorce if you are unhappy, making your parents ashamed. , make friends look down upon, and make society laugh! In short, I hope this is the last time you two get married! This is my congratulations to you! "

This sentence is rational! I think it's very well said.

Although love is not about first come, first served, it is about etiquette, justice and integrity.

However, love is the most unreasonable thing.

They fell in love with each other passionately.

Xu Zhimo wrote "The Happy Place of Snowflakes", "The Reincarnation of Spring", "An Obscure Road Monument" and other classic works for Lu Xiaoman.

Their love is deep, as Xu Zhimo wrote in his letter to Lu Xiaoman:

"Really, Xiaoman, you have excited my infatuation.

Don't be afraid when I say it. Sometimes I really want to drag you to die together, to go to the absolute silence of death, to realize perfect love, to seek the only light in the darkness. ”

Yes, you can say that the love between Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman is morally shameful. Neither of them was loyal to their original marriage. What Xu Zhimo took away was his brother’s wife.

But we have to admit that their love is enviable.

Xu Zhimo dotes on Lu Xiaoman. Lu Xiaoman eats, drinks and has fun every day. She is what contemporary people call a prodigal woman.

But Xu Zhimo loves Lu Xiaoman and runs around for Lu Xiaoman just to make Lu Xiaoman's life comfortable.

According to public standards, Lu Xiaoman is actually far inferior to Zhang Youyi.

But love cannot be rational, but Lu Xiaoman understands Xu Zhimo's romance.

Love is the most unreasonable. When we fall in love, we fall in love without any so-called etiquette, integrity and reason.

It is always against morality. They are also enjoying their own happiness in their world.

Therefore, love is emotional and cannot be planned according to rational standards.

For an unsuitable marriage, let go and stop the loss in time

Let us return to the topic on Douban again, "Do mistresses have to die?" ”

The mistress portrayed in our movies and TV dramas has always been a villain.

In fact, it is not a bad thing to let go of an incompatible and mismatched marriage. .

I don’t know whether the mistress should die, I only know that they are morally wrong.

But if it is true love, it is not far better to find your own love. Self-torture and self-depression in the quagmire of marriage. At least you have worked hard and fought for it. No matter what the result is, the process of pursuit is also a life journey worth remembering.

Zhang Youyi once imagined redemption in the past. After trying, she found that she could not retain her husband Xu Zhimo.

After the divorce, Zhang Youyi took care of her children while studying, and she was self-reliant and self-reliant. An independent woman during that period.

In 1962, she served as a German professor at Soochow University. Later, she quickly built "Yunshang" through her business background and her outstanding business thinking. It became China's leading clothing brand at the time.

Then she served as vice president of the Shanghai Women's Commercial Bank, which was on the verge of bankruptcy. Under her management, the bank turned a profit in the second year and returned to profitability in the third year. The annual bank capital exceeded 20 million, creating a financial miracle at that time.

Even Xu Zhimo couldn’t help but sigh:

“Zhang Youyi is really an ambitious and courageous woman. There has been a lot of progress in the past two years. I am firmly independent and my thoughts are clear. ”

Zhang Youyi became a model of independent women and one of the legendary representatives at that time.

If your marriage betrays you, what you should do is to turn around and stop the loss in time, which is better than staying in the original relationship.

There was a woman in my mother’s hometown. When I was a child, I went to her house to play with her children.

I always remember that she was gentle and generous. A simple rural woman. It is said that after her husband cheated on her, she started complaining all day long and became the real-life version of Mrs. Xianglin in Lao She's novel.

When I went back to my hometown a few days ago, she said this to me. Why is my husband so shameless that he hangs around outside all day long and has no intention of making progress?

His words are extremely ugly, his face is extremely vicious, and he has completely lost the dignified and gentle appearance in my impression.

< p> The mother lamented: "Her whole life has been ruined by her shameless husband. ”

However, what she didn’t notice was that people in the village were gradually alienating her. No one really liked to hear someone complaining every day.

Sometimes reality is really cruel , no one will wait for you where you are, no one can really rely on you, and the only one who can save you is yourself.

No matter whether it is a woman or a man, our lives should not be affected by marriage. Bound.

The sky will not fall after divorce, you are still yourself.

Love and marriage are not everything to you. Your life can still shine without love.

Marriage is just a multiple-choice question in your life path, not a dead end.

If it has become a naked reality that your partner does not love you, then your complaints will not have any effect, but will only drag you into the bottomless abyss of reality. There was no sunlight, no fresh air, just the stench of rot and disdain.

The longer you sink in it, the less and less time you can exist. Time is the most ruthless thing in the world. If you don't care about it, it won't wait for you.

We must clearly realize that no one can accompany us to the end. Yes, this is reality.

What we can do is work hard to improve ourselves, constantly experience life, and cherish the people we like around us. Love yourself first so that you can love others.

In the end, the only one we can rely on is ourselves. You can allow yourself to be sad, allow yourself to be sad. But after crying, you have to remember to get up and face the next life with a smile on your face.

When you choose to fall, no one can truly save you. The only one who can save yourself is you.

Whether it is a woman or a man, a person's value is never defined by a happy family.

Ending a bad relationship may be the beginning of finding yourself again.

An early end may be the beginning of freedom and happiness.

Don’t be obsessed with the beauty of the past. Now that it has happened, it means that it has become a past that cannot be recalled. We must grasp the present and look forward to the future.

The only person who can be responsible for your future is yourself.

Instead of blaming all the failures in life on your unfaithful partner, it is better to jump out in time and face a new life.

Complaining about your partner all the time will make you like a street villain and a grudge on the street, making people around you sigh twice and then turn away immediately. No one will really help you. You are just a topic for fun when everyone is bored.

To put it another way, what is there to be sad about losing someone who doesn’t love you?

Fight hard and work hard so that you won’t blame yourself when you are old. Do nothing because of resentment.

Relationships are a matter between two people

The mistress is indeed morally wrong, but I want to say that feelings are really only a matter between two people.

Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman loved each other deeply, but in fact Xu Zhimo still had Lin Huiyin in his heart. It was a bit ironic that Xu Zhimo had an accident and died young because he was rushing to attend a lecture given by Lin Huiyin.

From the perspective of a bystander, you may feel that the reincarnation of heaven and Xu Zhimo’s ending are the result of karma.

But from Lu Xiaoman’s perspective, you may complain about the relationship between Xu Zhimo and Lin Huiyin.

But Lu Xiaoman did not blame Xu Zhimo, she understood Xu Zhimo's appreciation of Lin Huiyin.

On the contrary, she cherished everything Xu Zhimo left behind even more.

She began to compile Xu Zhimo’s works and publish them, leaving Xu Zhimo’s literary talent in the world.

The reason why contemporary people are afraid of marriage is because our marriage is constantly being defined.

How much is the bride price? The man must have a car and a house, etc.

Girls must wash their hands and make soup, women must obey men, etc.

But if you look at the talents and beauties of the Republic of China, the entanglements between Lin Huiyin and Jin Yuelin, Xu Zhimo, and Liang Sicheng, or Zhang Ailing's love for the traitor Hu Lancheng, their love is so emotional and never rational.

Let’s look at our classical love stories again, the love between a human and a demon in The Legend of White Snake, “The living can die, the dead can live, love doesn’t know where it started, it only goes deeper when it goes deeper” in The Peony Pavilion, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Ying's disobedience to her parents' orders in Taichung, the matchmaker's words, and other classic scenes.

Love often appears wonderful and moving because it breaks through the so-called ethical principles and the so-called beautiful specimens.

We yearn for earth-shattering love, so we should be brave enough to let go and love.

It is really a rare thing to meet the one you love.

Perhaps your love goes against common sense, or you may need to be criticized by the outside world.

Or maybe we were once one of those people who pointed fingers.

There is no need to care too much, feelings are a matter between two people, life is like drinking water, and you know whether you are warm or cold.

There is no real empathy in the world. Your life is ultimately your own. How to choose, how to live, just like it yourself, don't care about the opinions of irrelevant cats and dogs.

Tell yourself silently that love is your own business.

We live in a small world of love, enjoying the simplicity and happiness that belongs to us.

Our love is moving because of our embrace, our love is beautiful because of our understanding, and our love blooms because of our uniqueness.