The art of speaking between friends: don't say anything proud in front of a frustrated person.

The art of heart-to-heart talk between friends: don't talk about your pride before you are frustrated. Nine times out of ten, people who are immersed in sadness or frustration find it difficult to listen to the comfort and encouragement of others. As a friend, if it is good to comfort, it will bring great help to friends; Otherwise, it will be counterproductive and make the other party more sad or depressed.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Tang Quan heard that her good friend Man Qing was lovelorn. She didn't go to work or eat for several days. Her parents were very worried, but Man Qing didn't listen to her advice. After work, Tang Quan rushed to Man Qing's home and had a serious talk with Man Qing.

Man Qing, no matter what happens, you should take good care of your health, so you can't solve any problems without eating or drinking.

Man Qing said sadly, do you know? Four years of affection is not as deep as the person he has known for a month. I can't figure out that he gave me up for someone else.

Do you live for him?

I know, but I'm really sad and desperate. I can't hold on! Man Qing was in tears, sobbing.

Do you remember what kind of life you used to live?

Of course I remember! At that time, I was particularly free and carefree, full of hope and yearning for life. Man Qing bowed his head again.

Yes, did you know him then?

I don't know.

At that time, Chen Jian had not appeared in your life, and you had a good life; Now, without him, you are no different from before. You still have to live as happily as before. You have nothing to lose, but you should be glad that someone who doesn't love you left you.

Man Qing stared at Tang Quan and asked, "Will it really be the same as before?" ?

Tang Quan said firmly: Yes, I will! You have always been a strong person in front of me, and I have never seen you knocked down by any difficulties. Lovelorn is a transformation for you, it will make you mature, experience lovelorn, and you will easily cope with other difficulties. Trust me, yes!

Man Qing was silent for a moment, and said, I wish I could be like you said.

It's not hope, it's fact! Tang Quan said it again more firmly.

When people encounter sad things, they often lose confidence in their future life and thus lose interest in survival. As a friend, you should help him (her) to recall the good old days, let him (her) know that there are more happy things in life, and let him (her) regain the hope of life.

Jump in one word.

Once, some friends were invited to dinner at home. These friends are familiar with each other. The host called them mainly to make a friend who is currently at a low tide feel better through a lively atmosphere. Not long ago, this friend almost went bankrupt because of poor management, and his wife was talking about divorce because she could not bear the pressure of life. Due to internal and external pressure, he is really suffering.

Friends who eat know what this friend is going through at present, and everyone avoids talking about things related to his career. One of his friends, surnamed Liu, made a lot of money because of his smooth career at present. After drinking a few glasses of wine, he couldn't help but start talking about his skills and efforts to make money, jumping and jumping, and even his master was a little uncomfortable.

The depressed friend bowed his head and said nothing, and his face was ugly. He went to the toilet and washed his face for a while. Later, he drank a glass of wine and left angrily without saying a word. The host sent him out. At the corner of the lane, he said angrily, you don't have to show off if you can make money!

Master knows his mood, because he also experienced the low tide many years ago.

Don't talk about pride in front of a frustrated person, because it will only aggravate the loneliness of the other person and hurt others.

So even if everything goes well, you should deliberately say something hard to the frustrated people. The proud friend in the story didn't mean to hurt his friend, but I believe their relationship will be affected in the future.

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If a friend complains to you about his talent, don't tell him what to do as a winner. It's better to make yourself bitter than how your job is now. You can tell him that although my job looks so beautiful, I am as depressed as you are. I have no freedom in my work and no passion at first. Later, I persisted with the mentality that life was worse than death, and found some fun that I had neglected. In this case, he will think that the job is not so easy to find and should adjust his mentality.

When someone falls in love, she should complain to you. Instead of boasting, let her recall the past and tell her that there are still many happy things in life and many people and things that are very important to her. She is sure to get out of her present sadness and live a happier life.

When someone complains to you about his career failure, instead of being a successful person, tell him that you fell worse than him in those years, and you made great efforts to get where you are today, so that he will realize that failure is the mother of success and strive to make a comeback. I believe he will be as successful as you in the future. For an independent friend, when his mood is at its lowest ebb, his thoughts must be negative, and the comfort may be for him. Silence is sometimes a better way to comfort.

In addition, provide some suggestions when comforting friends:

(1) Listen. Listening is not to keep you silent all the time, but to listen carefully to what the other party is saying and what the other party wants to express; It is to listen to each other's voices and complaints with our eyes, ears and hearts, instead of asking the cause and effect of things. Giving each other an opportunity to express and vent is better than any verbal comfort.

(2) Give support to each other. Remember not to tell others how you should or should not feel when comforting others. People have the right to keep their true feelings, and you don't need to control them. Comfort is not asking you to help the other person make a judgment, and don't think that the other person is in pain and needs help at this time. Comfort is to give the other person space to be himself and identify with his feelings.

(3) Don't simply say yes orno. We don't need to agree or disagree to express sympathy and care.

(4) Empathy. Comfort others face to face, the effect is actually related to the true state of our hearts, because if we empathize with each other's experiences, we will not only share each other's pain, but also need to endure our own inner suffering. And this kind of empathy and comfort is the best gift for the comforted.

(5) Comfort is not salvation. Helping others through the painful years does not mean saving each other from the pain. Everyone is responsible for the consequences of his actions. So we must first recognize each other's pain, but don't try to dispel their pain in the fastest way, which may be beyond our power. In the face of those who need comfort, all we can offer is to let them cross the bridge of the river of terror as soon as possible.

(6) Tell the other person how you feel. When comforting others, many people don't want others to know how they felt at that time. Actually, it's not necessary You can let the other person know how you feel at this moment. You can even say to the other person directly: I can't understand how you feel now, and I don't know what to say, but I really care about you and hope you get better. Even if you think this expression is ridiculous, let the other person know. If you can't say it, you can also tell each other how you feel in words.

Speaking skills between husband and wife: it is better to speak correctly than to speak beautifully.

Speaking skills between husband and wife: it is better to speak correctly than to speak beautifully. From love to marriage, there will be much more trivial matters between two people. It takes a lot of energy and time to deal with these things. Only when husband and wife learn from each other and cooperate with each other can they do better.

One sentence makes people laugh.

A couple have been married for more than ten years, and they have to send their parents living expenses every month. This matter has always been borne by the wife. But the wife sends 100 yuan to her parents and 50 yuan to her husband's family every month.

The husband has been very angry about this, but he doesn't want to be unhappy with his wife.

In the past, my husband got off work every day and did nothing. He always hugs his little son first and kisses him for a long time. But when he came home this day, he saw his youngest son crying in the rocking car, but pretended not to see or hear anything. He uncharacteristically walked up to his five-year-old daughter and picked her up.

The wife who was cooking turned and saw it. She quickly shouted, why don't you coax her son when he is crying like that?

The husband said unhurriedly, you'd better take this money from 50 yuan! I want to hold 100 yuan. My wife turned red when she heard this, and she sent 100 to her husband's family every month.

The clever husband humorously invited his wife into his preset translocation trap, without losing his principle. Instead of complaining at length, he implicitly hinted at the nature of the matter and his dissatisfaction, thus skillfully achieving the purpose of speaking.

Jump in one word.

There is a young couple. One day, both parents came and everyone sat down to eat in a luxury hotel. During the dinner, the parents-in-law who are businessmen offered to buy a big house for their daughter and son-in-law, and each family offered100000. The man's family is a little embarrassed because it is an intellectual family with limited income.

The woman's father was dissatisfied with her in-laws, so he said to his son-in-law, Look at you, what's your future as a doctor? Why don't you go into business with me and earn hundreds of thousands of dollars a year?

After seeing off their parents, the young couple began to talk.

Husband said: tell your dad, don't tell me about studying business in the future, I don't want to hear it!

The wife said: My father is doing it for your own good. It's better for the old man to give you100000 to buy a house than your father.

Hearing this, the husband became even more unhappy and said, What's the big deal about your dad? He is just a nouveau riche!

So what if you have money? Without culture, you can only be a nouveau riche!

When his wife heard that he was attacking his parents, she was also very angry. She said, your family is good, you are so poor that you want to break a penny into two pieces.

When two people chat together, the more they talk, the more they talk. The relationship between husband and wife is getting stiff.

Husband and wife come from different families and each family has a certain cultural background. People who grow up in an environment will be proud of this environment and instinctively resent the criticism of their families. In this case, the mistake of husband and wife lies in not respecting each other's family.

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Everyone has self-esteem and longs for others to respect him. So, don't hurt others' self-esteem at any time, even your closest lover.

Some people are very straightforward, especially when dealing with lovers. They always feel close and are used to saying whatever they want. When they say these hurtful words, they may not have any malice in many cases, sometimes even out of kindness, but it will inevitably make their lover sound a little poisonous, thus hurting each other's self-esteem.

Almost everyone has a fortress in his heart, and you need to hide your true self in it to feel safe, even if your lover is in front of you. However, your outspoken words have broken through this fortress and pulled out the place of life hidden inside. Being naked certainly makes people feel uncomfortable. How can I make the other person like you?

In most cases, the outspoken party only considers its own feelings, regardless of the other party's position, concept and personality. It's not good if your words are just a harmless joke, poking a sore spot on your lover, or putting him in an awkward position. You may be outspoken and careless, or you may get stuck in your throat and not spit. If it is the former, the lover knows that you are unintentional, so it is not easy to attack and can only be stuffy in your heart; If it is the latter, because you really hit the core, your lover has to activate the self-defense system, or fight back or hold a grudge. Therefore, no matter what kind of situation you call a spade a spade, it will make people unbearable, hinder your husband and wife relationship, and keep your lover away from you so as not to be accidentally hit by you.

Therefore, it is not necessary to speak correctly between husband and wife, but it must be said beautifully, because telling the truth may hurt the self-esteem of the lover, and speaking beautifully can make people willingly accept it.

The art of conversation between friends: humor is pleasant.

The art of conversation between friends: humor in conversation is pleasant. Humor is like an instant spark, it is an instant thought, so only extraordinary wit and quick response can collide with humorous sentences. Humorous language may dissolve embarrassing scenes, or it may play a warning role in talking and laughing.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Xiao Wang was invited to attend the wedding of an old classmate. Maybe god wants to join in the fun at the wedding. On this day, a light rain never stopped from morning till night. When he arrived at his old classmate's house, Xiao Wang's clothes were spattered with mud. At the banquet, when a couple toasted him, they saw him covered in mud and said apologetically, "It's hard for you to come in the rain." . It's all my fault for not choosing a date.

Xiao Wang quickly took the message and said, It's been a long way since ancient times, but when you meet an old friend in another country, you will be the number one scholar in the wedding night, and the four happy events in life will make you young couples catch up with two in one day. This is called double happiness!

Xiao Wang's words won applause. Xiao Wang still felt unfinished, and then said, since it's raining, I have a doggerel, and I want to take this opportunity to give it to two new people. Say it again: good rain knows the season when marriage happens. Sneak into the night with the wind and listen to your kiss.

A crooked poem made the bride's cheeks blush, which attracted laughter all over the house. The muddy water on her clothes seemed to be washed clean by the festive atmosphere.

Xiao Wang's words laid the foundation for his speech image and style, making him a popular person everywhere. In today's era of increasingly close and frequent interpersonal communication, language plays an increasingly important role. As long as we treat life with an open mind and decorate it with humorous language, we will find that life is full of fun and warmth, full of joy and laughter.

Jump in one word.

Although Li Gang is a man, he is weak and pessimistic. If something goes wrong, he said, nothing goes well today! I often hear him say, that's a real pain in the neck. I have no talent. I am a loser who can't do anything.

Once, Li Gang attended a colleague's birthday party, and his colleague introduced him to a friend.

After the meeting, my colleague's friend complained: It's really tiring to talk to your colleague Li! He kept talking about how he met someone in college and how he broke up sadly. I couldn't get in a word, so I had to pretend to be sympathetic and wait patiently for him to finish.

Everyone will feel frustrated, including career frustration, emotional frustration and family frustration. Humor meets something unsatisfactory, the mood will become very relaxed, and life will suddenly have color.

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Humor is a kind of wisdom, which embodies an optimistic and positive attitude towards life. As a lubricant, it can effectively reduce the friction coefficient between people, resolve conflicts and contradictions, and narrow the distance between people. Humor has rules to follow, but humor also depends on the object. Choosing the wrong occasion and joking with the wrong object may bring bad influence.

In the art of conversation, humor is an expressive skill to reproduce dramatic features and phenomena in real life with meaningful language, so as to convey some special information. In general, people who are really good at the art of conversation are actually humorous people who are good at guiding topics and making boring conversations interesting. Humorous language can release our inner tension and pressure and turn it into a relaxed smile.

No one in the world is born with humor. It takes later training and hard work to become a master of humor. Humor can be learned, and a variety of rhetoric can be used to achieve the humorous effect, such as personification, exaggeration, parody, reflection and so on. Personification is to compare things with people and give them feelings, thoughts and images. , thus making the expression more vivid; Exaggeration is exaggeration, which is the most common humorous rhetorical expression in daily life. Parody is a kind of expression that deliberately imitates and uses the existing fixed language form to narrate. Its main feature is to use existing words, sentences and articles to reveal the internal contradictions of the things described and create new artistic conception. Reflection is to ridicule and refute each other by applying their words on the spot. It is a return of language, and the purpose is to treat each other truly.

Humor can laugh at itself or at itself. Humorous people often deliberately laugh at themselves, belittle their talents and achievements with a relaxed and humorous attitude, and show humor in modesty. Friendly humor can express sincere friendship between people, connect hearts, narrow the distance between people and bridge the gap between people, which is indispensable for establishing good relations with others. Especially when a person wants to express his inner dissatisfaction, others will sound better if he can use humorous language; When one needs to change the attitude of others from negative to positive, using humorous language will be very convincing.

To learn humor, we should have an optimistic spirit and look at problems with an optimistic attitude. There will always be many setbacks in life. Only when we treat them with an optimistic and positive attitude, will we be able to sail through the gloom and cross the deep sea. People who always look at everything with optimism will naturally not lack a sense of humor. In fact, there are very few things that really make people feel comfortable in this world. Even if there are pleasant things, it is easy to forget, and most of them are not so pleasant. When depressed and embarrassed, people with humorous cells will turn decay into magic and create a happy future and comfortable spring breeze.

The art of speaking between strangers: don't "gild the lily" when talking.

The art of speaking between strangers: don't "gild the lily" when talking. Qin Zi once asked his teacher Mozi: Will you talk more? Mozi replied: frogs croak day and night, which makes people thirsty, but they are not liked. And the chickens crow on time at dawn in the morning, and the world is not woken up! What are the benefits of talking more? That's what happened.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Pop star Wang Leehom and famous pianist Lang Lang once performed on the same stage in Hong Kong. After they were not familiar with each other, Wang Leehom thought that Lang Lang should be a taciturn literary youth. Unexpectedly, Lang Lang was silent after the meeting: Leehom, you are a descendant of the dragon, and I am a descendant of the wolf (Lang). This prologue immediately brought the two young people closer together.

With this sentence, Lang Lang left a good impression on Wang Leehom. Wang Leehom said on many occasions: Lang Lang is the most easygoing and enthusiastic classical musician I have ever met!

Between two strangers, an unusual opening remark will make the conversation unique and impressive.

Jump in one word.

On the bus, a young migrant worker carrying a big bag was holding a map in his hand and his face was full of confusion. At first glance, he comes from other places. He hesitated for a moment and asked the conductor, Master, where should I get off?

The conductor said impatiently, you are going in the wrong direction. You should go back by bus. The text should be here, but the conductor added, I can't read the map. What else can I do?

Of course the foreign boy heard it, but he just smiled and got ready to get off. However, the old man sitting on the side couldn't listen any longer. He glanced at the conductor, then turned to the young man in the field and said, actually, you don't have to sit in the back. Sit at the first few stops and then change trains. The old man's words ended here, but he just added: the education level of young people now is really poor!

With so many young people in the car, this sentence really hit a wide range. A young girl standing next to her uncle couldn't help it: Grandpa, is this wrong? After all, uneducated people are a minority! The girl didn't say anything here, but she couldn't help adding: Many people your age look very kind, but their bellies are full of bad water!

At this time, a middle-aged woman connected again: how can you, a young girl, talk to the old man like this? After all, be polite! To say that the middle-aged woman is right to criticize you, she added: Look at your clothes, it is estimated that your parents can't control you if they want, and you are dressed like a demon. When you say that, it's like throwing a bomb. The girl couldn't swallow this tone naturally, and the car suddenly exploded like a pot.

At this time, the bus arrived at the station and opened the door. The conductor said, let's not argue. Get off the bus if you need to, and don't delay the business. However, he did not forget to add: If you really want to make trouble, get out of the car and make trouble. Are you tired?

If all the people on the bus give up their last words, I believe this war of words will never happen. In fact, many times, because of the last sentence, two people who were originally at peace became opponents and enemies, and a conversation became a conflict. Remember, once you say something, you can't take it back. We advocate good eloquence, but remind you to control your words at all times. If you talk too much, you lose. Don't pay a heavy price for being fast.

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Misfortune comes from the mouth, which makes people lose their reputation, and joy comes from the heart, which makes people add luster. Sometimes the speaker means no harm, just likes to speak quickly for a while, but for the listener, it may hurt him. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people doubt your shallowness than to prove your shallowness from the beginning. This is a famous saying worth remembering.

In an increasingly diversified society, small misunderstandings or small frictions between people are normal. Broad-minded people will forget this, but not everyone has such a mind. In interpersonal communication, we can often see that some quarrels stem from trivial matters, but because one party talks quickly for a while, it often turns trivial matters into major events or even disasters.

People who love to chat for a while are mostly impetuous and used to blaming others. In their spiritual world, there is no word forbearance. As long as you are unhappy, curse things and people to relieve your troubles, that's all. But they didn't expect that their anxiety was vented. How does the scolded person feel?

Just as people will erect their pores after sneezing, showing off their breath for a while is actually a way to vent their physical pleasure.

The difference is that the pleasure of sneezing is purely physiological, while speaking fast is mixed with strong psychological color.

In this sense, to overcome the problem of quick talking, we must work hard from the usual self-psychological adjustment.

First of all, we should remember a principle that we should talk as little as possible in any place and occasion. Silence is worth advocating. If you have to say it, you should pay attention to the content, meaning, wording, tone, posture, and what to say on what occasion and how to say it properly.

Secondly, don't talk nonsense without knowing the inside story. There are no perfect people in the world, so don't talk about their shortcomings and don't expose their privacy. First of all, you should understand that your understanding of others is not necessarily reliable, and there may be hidden reasons you don't know. If you rashly publicize the one-sided phenomenon you know, you will inevitably confuse right and wrong. By the time the truth came out, it was over.

Say the benefits of bad people, others think you are ignorant at most; It is immoral to speak ill of good people. Therefore, when learning the art of speaking, we must first learn to talk less. Of course, you can only say less, not all. Speaking well without saying much is the art of eloquence.