A bowl of chicken soup about happiness

Never answer this question! Answer and you lose!

This question is like the phrase "Take two steps without illness" in Zhao Benshan's sketch. As long as you stop and think about it, your answer must be: "God, I'm not happy! This is not the life I want at all! "

The feeling of happiness is actually the feeling of living in the present. Think about the happy times in life-

"A pair of bad lovers have finally come together after a lot of hardships. The moment of hug is happy!"

"After working hard abroad for a year, I finally lay in a comfortable bed at home during the holiday, happy!"

"In the last episode of the TV series, the protagonist is a villain, very popular and very happy!"

……

Happiness, big or small, has one characteristic. This is an instant feeling. At a certain moment, you suddenly smiled and felt great! But when you mobilize the brain area responsible for thinking and want to "rationally" consider whether you are happy or not, you are mobilizing the memory of the past and making expectations for the future according to the present situation, and the process of answering this question has abandoned the present. What you think about is the hardship of life, low salary and tired work, or what you think about is that there are bowls and clothes to be washed, things to be handed in tomorrow, and dealing with people you don't like the day after tomorrow ... All the past and future bind you, and you forget that you may be eating a bowl of instant noodles now. Although I have eaten it many times, it seems that I am not so disgusted. Before I saw this problem, I actually felt "ok"!

So what you need about happiness is not the answer, but the process.

I recently read two books by Neil Pasrichard, Rebuilding Yourself: How to Become a Very Happy Person. The best things in life are free. The author used to be an ordinary person and lived a "ok" life, but in a short time, he experienced many changes such as divorce from his wife and the death of his good friend, and suddenly became a very unhappy person. At this time, in order to turn his attention to positive things, he built a small website called "1000Awesome. com", and then asked everyone to write down all kinds of small things that made him happy. This small move made him not only walk out of his own haze, but also become a well-known blogger and best-selling author. This best-selling book is "The best things in life are free".

This is a very meaningless little book, which records all kinds of "wonderful" moments (because every little article in the book is called "wonderful!" As the ending). Curious about the contents of this book, you can search the catalogue on Douban. Here are some examples:

These moments are funny and meaningless, and some are warm. Perhaps "happiness" itself is not a single word, happiness is the sum of these moments. After reading this book, I applied this method to my own life and added some "wonderful moments" in my life. For example:

At the end of the book, Neil summed up three A's happiness secrets: attitude, consciousness and authenticity. Attitude means that when we face the misfortune in life, we can choose to stand up and move on. Perception means that we need to keep the perception of life, that is, to live in the present; Truth is to live your true self. This is also the theme of his TED talk.

However, regardless of theory, the little trick I learned to improve my happiness in life is to experience these "magical" moments and make myself "aha!" This feeling. You can also try, starting from tomorrow morning, paying attention to the "wonderful moments" in life-such as "putting the foot of the bed directly on two pairs of slippers"?

Neil put forward several formulas to help us achieve a happy life in his other book, Rebuild Yourself:

I think this is chicken soup, too!

This is not a new truth. That's what Rinpoche told us, and so did all the metaphysics of Buddhist psychology! Yes, maybe the true meaning of happiness is as simple as that.

If let me talk about my own thoughts, happiness should not be our goal, so it should not be "happiness first". If happiness comes first, we will probably succumb to our animal nature, never make progress, never upgrade, and never experience a more "advanced" happiness. I think we still have to live the meaning of life, which may not be the ultimate meaning of life. If we can find a few meaningful things to do every day, life will be full, full and happy, even if we cook ourselves a delicious meal according to the recipe.

Secondly, happiness should not be "starting from me". Life is to establish relationships with others and the world, which requires "empathy", and the essence of empathy is to start from "others". So forget the secret! After I leave, I have to see what others are thinking!

However, I quite agree with the author's last secret: don't take any advice! Anyway, this is all my own feelings. Different people have different lives, different "happy event", different missions and values. What panacea can make everyone happy? Yes! Chicken soup for the soul!

Finally, make a small summary: I hope you can remember three things about happiness: never answer the question of happiness, because happiness is now; Pay attention to the "aha" moments in your life; Don't take any advice, live a high happiness.

If you only remember one thing: don't accept any advice! Ha ha!