250 jokes about measuring blood pressure

Introduction: I brought salted fish that I usually like to eat. 12 it's time for dinner, and I'm going to heat it up in the microwave oven. I want to uncover it. Maybe it's too strong, and colleagues around you may cover their noses and look around. At this time, the smell may float to my sister, and it is very loud. She suddenly stood up and shouted, Who took off their shoes? I almost threw up. ...

1, I drove out shopping with my husband yesterday, and he drove the door and got into the car after shopping! I want to say: hello, handsome boy, do you have an appointment tonight? But, damn it, I just said hello, handsome This fellow replied: Hello, cool dog! Sister, don't play by common sense.

One day, a beautiful woman came out of the bathroom naked after taking a shower. The beauty's puppy has been following her ass. The beauty thought, is it not naked? What is there to see? The puppy thought, it is two meat buns hanging so high.

I went home by bus last year and sat with a funny aunt. In the middle of the night, my mobile phone was dead, so I asked my aunt what time it was. She took out her mobile phone to light up the screen and glanced at her watch! ! I'll go.

4. When was your most embarrassing moment? I came and blushed. I went to the supermarket to buy condoms, but I didn't take any money. I only heard the cashier shout ~ ~ Hey, your condom. Go back and get it in the crowd ~

5. I went to the train station to pick up the ticket in the morning and went to the online ticket machine. This is the background. Incision ... At this moment, an old woman who asked for money stepped aside and shook a bowl at two girls. As a result, she found that the two sisters couldn't get the tickets, so she quickly helped them get the tickets and won a dollar in the bowl ... I was shocked. Should I wait for help, maybe I can win the chance of mala Tang?

6. Me: Doctor, my eyes are uncomfortable, my hair is dry and my eyes are watering. Doctor: Play mobile phone less and sleep more. Me: ...

7. Mother: Tell me honestly, daughter, who is the man in your room just now? Daughter: Water meter. Mother: Don't lie to me, don't wear pants when checking the water meter?

8. Watching TV last night, the hero and heroine kissed in the car. I said that this is the rhythm of the car shock, and my wife was puzzled. I said "it's a bed shock in bed", idiot: "it's an earthquake on the ground."

9. A divorced local tyrant took his son to the mall and asked him what he wanted. My son said he wanted this shopping mall. The local tyrant called on the spot and bought a shopping mall for his son. He also asked his son what he wanted. The son said he wanted a girlfriend, and the local tyrant said that this was not for sale. After saying his word, a dozen beautiful salespeople rushed out and said to the local tyrants, I sold it and the children stood by. This is not high. The tide is rising. The tide is that several male security guards can't do anything when they see the child become speechless. They immediately rushed up and said to the child, if you like your boyfriend, we will sell it.

10, I got up a little late this morning and felt a little dizzy sitting in the car. When I got off at the station, I met a beautiful woman. I kissed the beautiful woman in my arms and said I was sorry. Then I left, and when I realized it, I looked back, and the beautiful woman was still there, and she didn't get on the bus.

1 1. A few days ago, my aunt's brother came back. He is a soldier. Seven aunts and eight aunts all went to see him. Of course, I am indispensable. My aunt's sister is one month older than me. I showed her a dirty joke. She turned to me and asked, "What is auricularia auricula?" ..... Can I say I don't know, sister, how pure are you?

12, my girlfriend came home and said to her mother, "Mom, so-and-so her son is chasing me. What do you think of her son?" "Not bad, see if you like it?" "I don't like it, and I'm not handsome." "Oh, you will like it gradually. You are not beautiful anyway."

13, wife: "Dear, do you have any enemies in your life?" Husband: "not in this life, but in a previous life!" " "Wife:" How do you know? "Husband:" She came to me for revenge all her life! ""wife: "who is it?" Husband: "Wife is big silver!" "

14, wife: "Dear, who is the most selfish silver drop in the world?" Husband: "it's my dear husband!" " All I think about is my wife and money! "Wife:" Who is the most selfless drop of silver in the world? "Husband:" I still love you, husband! "I don't have any private money!"

15, my daughter-in-law went home today and left me alone in Beijing. He left me 5000 dollars before he left. Me: Daughter-in-law, I will go to school if you leave me so much money. My daughter-in-law said contemptuously to me: just do it for ten centimeters for two minutes, if you are not ashamed. After that, I stood alone for a long, long time.

16, I didn't know how much I had to pee in that small cup when I was a child, so I peed a full cup and carefully showed it to the doctor. The doctor was surprised: "What is this?" Are you here to propose a toast? "

17, ahem, where is your future husband? Now the school is not safe. Senior two girls went back to the dormitory to take a bath at night, and were groped by senior one and senior two boys with knives, and things in the dormitory were stolen. I'm not afraid of men entering girls' dormitories, but I'm afraid of him. What will I do to him? ...

18, a colleague, usually special 2. Everyone likes to play with him. On this day of work, I walked into the office happily and couldn't wait to show off my new mobile phone. Forget this. When I went to work the next day, I entered the office in a daze. The director asked him: What's the matter? Do you think you are in the wrong state? 2B said: I bought a new mobile phone yesterday and downloaded a weighing software at night. After the download was successfully installed, I put my mobile phone on the ground and stepped on it ... no one in the office could hold back from laughing.

19. I went to Yesanpo last summer and contacted the hotel in advance. When I entered the room, I found that the smell of smoke was particularly strong. Call the receptionist. The front desk replied, "Please wait a moment and send someone to your non-smoking room right away." . So high, smokeless treatment, what high technology. After a while, a waiter came and opened all the doors and windows in my room. Science and technology are so developed that they will disappear after a while. Like one!

20. At noon, I have dinner with my colleagues. One of them is a female colleague, and her boyfriend is also there. Then the woman was a little proud and noisy at the dinner table. Everyone was happy to persuade me, and I said casually, stop it. The important thing is that next time you are in bed, I will be next, okay? And then her boyfriend now insists on killing me.

2 1, a colleague bought a lot of cakes at noon and went to catch them ... Another colleague boldly said: If you don't take them, you will finish them for others ... Colleague said: Nothing, let's eat. It's for my son anyway. ...

22. Lao Wang pulled a long face and asked him what happened ... Lao Wang: My son didn't do well in the exam ... I: How much did he do? Lao Wang: something else! My blood pressure is not as high as mine! !

23. When I was a child, I saw a couple kissing on the roadside ... Me: Grandma, what are they doing? Grandma: Never. It was in the old society. People eat people.

24. The boss came to the branch for a meeting and brought his second son from grade three. The meeting is over and the child can't be found. If you are in a hurry, ask the secretary around you. Have you seen my penis? The secretary said shyly, I really want to see it, but you never gave me a chance.

Don't cry if you don't do well in the Chinese exam, because there is a math exam later. When your math scores come down, you will find that you have already cried.

26. Yesterday, I was promoted. Three bad friends clamored for my treat, so go ahead. Eating and singing cost me more than 2000 yuan. When I woke up this morning, I thought that my salary was 200 more than before after my promotion, and I was promoted for a year in vain tonight. ...

27. In the morning, I attended a training class. A colleague sitting on the right kept cursing the street and saying stupid things like tm. Finally, the etiquette lady said, I want to ask a leader to sum it up for us. A man on my left stood up and went straight to the podium.

28, big brother, once born, twice familiar, let's make friends. Big Brother: Come on, your food was raw the first time, and it was raw the second time.

29. Mom: Look at your father. He can fix everything, such as TV, refrigerator and rice cooker! The daughter said impatiently, I know! "Know your sister! If you find someone like your father, you will never use anything new in your life! " I ...

30, the unit collective dinner. I ordered a small sesame seed cake, which was just out of the pot when I came up. The weather is very hot. One or two colleagues took it directly with their hands and were scalded to shout, "It's too hot to lie in the trough". Traditionally, this is not an orgasm, but the climax is that these two idiots feel hot and put the small sesame seed cake directly in their mouths, and their mouths are hot like chrysanthemums.

Editor's Note: Share with friends. I went to the supermarket the other day and bought a piece of toilet paper and a bucket of oil. I took the paper and she took the oil. When she came out to wait for the green light, she wanted to get the paper because the oil was too heavy. I deliberately embarrassed her and made her kneel down and beg me. As a result, I never expected that the goods really knelt down and raised the oil above my head to beg me in the bustling street. So many people lost face, picked up oiled paper and left silently with their heads down. If the goods float, "fight with me, you are too tender, too tender ..."

The wronged character, can not be wronged?

Talk about the wronged personality

1, people who play with people's hearts will never get them; People who test their feelings can't keep their feelings every time.

The most painful feeling in the world is not lovelorn. But when I gave up my heart, I was cheated.

You love her, I give up. You love me, and I will never give you to anyone else.

4. An upgraded version of a friend is a lover, and a lowered version of a lover is a stranger.

5. Some people, I can't let go, but they are helpless. They pretend to be strong and say that it doesn't matter with a smile. The more they laugh, the happier they are and the more painful they feel.

6. I want to turn my life to the last page. I want to see who I will grow old with.

7. Time is changing and people are changing. Some things, no matter how hard you try, can't go back.

8. Some people inadvertently forget it; Some people, no matter how hard you try, can't forget.

9. You have no idea how scared I am. I'm afraid you are liked by others, and I'm afraid you like others.

10, there must be another me in this world, doing what I dare not do and living the life I want.

1 1, when you see through it, give yourself a little surprise, a little sunshine and a little care; It will be warm this winter.

12, numbness pain, forgetfulness, growing up day by day, a little sensible, a little throbbing.

13, waiting has accumulated into damage. Turn around and leave. It is said that the love between seabirds and fish is just an accident.

14, having a crush on someone is like a hysterical monologue. The person who entered the play is the one I don't know. It is you.

15, I don't want anything that doesn't belong to me. I don't want what I didn't really give me.

16, no matter how unhappy you are, you won't disturb the happiness of others. This is the principle.

17, the word "later" sums up all the unrecognizable things we don't want to change.

18, obviously he is very gentle, maybe he can give you more, and I will automatically become a friend without choice.

19, of course you won't feel that you said something wrong, let alone say sorry to me.

20, be good to yourself, life is not long; Be kind to others and you may not meet them in your next life.

2 1, don't wait for my tears, you will understand my sadness. Don't wait for me to disappear before you know I exist.

22. When a person is alone, the power consumption of the mobile phone is particularly fast. But when someone is around, it doesn't matter whether you bring your cell phone or not.

To put it bluntly, time can cure everything, although I can't tell you how long.

24. Maybe one day, when I am crazy enough, I will look down on myself and turn over a new leaf.

25. In our story, you and he are the protagonists, and I am just a passer-by.

26. Is there a moment when you feel bad about my persistence?

27. Dreaming that you haven't left yet, you just gave me a long, long holiday.

28. I know you are sad. If you don't really pay for your feelings, there will be results.

29. I broke an innocent heart at my most unexpected moment.

30. It is a common problem for women to get to the bottom of everything but can't stand the stimulation of the truth.

3 1, why do you always say to be quiet? Can you face it bravely for once?

32. It's not that I pretend to be sad, but that my nature is thin and cold, and there is despair in my bones.

33. It turns out that love never left, but I remember it and you forgot it.

34. why Why use that little affection to maintain the current relationship?

35. I don't pretend to be a snake or scorpion. How can I deserve your charm and incomparable?

36. I said: bet that I will get a good card one day. But you don't know the last sentence: the corruption of love is not bad.

37. I hate that my friend always makes me look at her face.

38. Actually, I'm always behind you. I just need you to turn around.

39. On New Year's Day, I came again, and everyone in the world was happy.

40. Let me love you all my life, okay? Really, it will be a lifetime soon.

4 1, not good, not good at all, I will harm you.

42. If you don't understand my silence, how can you understand my sadness?

43. Loving someone who doesn't love you is like holding a cactus. The tighter you hold on to it, the worse you get hurt.

44. I don't expect anything I just hope that every woman in your future is not as good as one.

They said that as long as I never saw you again, I would forget you.

46. How many people pretend to be crazy and laugh in order not to let others see their worries?

47. Why the ending must be sad, and why happiness always passes me by.

48. Sometimes, people always know when they lose it. Some people and things feel that they are just floating clouds in life.

49. In fact, everyone who is looking for a personalized signature here wants to find a sentence in his heart here.

50. once. You said you loved me, and I smiled. Now laugh happily. You said you loved me, and I smiled. A sarcastic smile

Do you think I can't live without you? I love you, but I also know when to give up.

Maybe one day, when I am crazy enough, I will look down on myself and turn over a new leaf.

53. What other words can be used to express the feeling of happiness? I don't know. I just hope this moment will never stop.

Maybe one day, when I go out of line, I will look down on myself and start over.

Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people can't find it, some people shouldn't find it, and some people can't find it.

56. I am the kind of person who hangs himself from a tree and is reluctant to take his body off!

57. I am wasting my time. I'm wasting time. I'm blurring now. I am afraid of the future.

58. Don't say you are not good. I tell you, as long as I like you, you are the best in my heart.

59. I miss you and want to cry. I miss you and want to cry. Correct your dreams and love you.

60. Most mistakes are because you didn't persist, didn't work hard, didn't stay, and then hypnotized yourself that everything was fate.

Propaganda slogan of triplet birth policy

The slogan of the three-child birth policy-1, create the future for your world.

2, open branches and loose leaves, deep and long.

3. Work hard and look at your children and grandchildren around your knees. Qi Baishou enjoys family happiness.

4, one left and one right, the man.

5, lead the four little dragons, and use them after a long life.

6. Have a good baby and make life interesting.

7. The state provides free pre-pregnancy health check-ups to protect the health of the next generation.

8. The population is prosperous and the home country is Yongchang.

9, the continuation of life, wonderful continuation.

10, children and grandchildren are blessed, and the mother instrument is the world.

1 1, it's natural to have a baby.

12, the birth of a child adds more happiness.

13, having a baby is the beginning of your life.

14. implement the universal two-child policy and investigate and deal with multiple births outside the policy according to the law.

15, what a wonderful happy time, two children just right.

16, inform the government of pregnancy in time and enjoy the service immediately.

17, children are a treasure, and parents make them together.

18, the Chinese nation will not degenerate, and tomorrow will be better.

19, life is for continuity and education is for happiness.

20. Even if there are Jinshan Yinshan, children are the backers.

Three-child birth policy slogan II 1, full of children and grandchildren, a brilliant family.

2. Creating offspring equals creating the future.

Raise more children now and enjoy family happiness in the future.

4, there are children around, there are happy years.

5. Cultivate the power of nature and create a brand-new self.

6, two children, full of fragrance.

7, adhere to the people-oriented, service family planning.

8. We are not alone when you cry.

9. The house should be spacious and the children should be raised.

10, children are witnesses to a perfect marriage.

1 1. Children are our best family heirlooms.

12, happiness is raised as soon as the child is born.

13. Please have a baby and make your charm last forever.

14, a woman who has never given birth is not a real woman.

15, only inheritance can be inherited, and continuation can have a future.

16, maternal love is the greatest and family affection is the warmest.

17, if you don't have children now, where will the future happiness come from?

18, lactating women are the most beautiful.

19, children are the wealth of society, and children are the source of joy.

20, many children, happy dollars.

The propaganda slogan of the three-child birth policy is 3 1, so as to maintain a moderate birth level and achieve the population planning goal.

2. Let love blossom, which is called the result of marriage and adds color to life.

Family dream is cultivated by you, and it is cultivated by you in the future of the motherland.

It's time for our children to come into this world.

5, there are babies at home, there is joy.

6. You are the father, I am the mother, and the auspicious three treasures become a family.

7. Register your address and enjoy the service in your hometown.

8. A complete life is to be born.

No matter how many children you have, children will bring happiness.

10, water comes naturally, and the melon is ripe.

1 1, love, you can't be the only protagonist.

12. Keep the children for yourself and for life.

13, a baby at home, a perfect life.

14, there are successors, and everyone is happy.

15, it's good to have children, and there is no trouble when you smile.

16. Adhere to the basic national policy of family planning and promote long-term balanced population development.

17, it's fun to have children at home. Sick and sick, good pregnancy and good luck.

18, I have both. Why don't I have another one?

19. Children are the future of the motherland. Please give birth responsibly and in a planned way.

20. Giving your child a chance is giving yourself a chance.

Slogan of National Hypertension Day Hypertension Prevention Campaign

National Hypertension Day hypertension prevention slogan 1-20 1, National Hypertension Day, take care of yourself to prevent hypertension: don't smoke or drink, be cheerful and carefree; Running exercise, full of energy and good health; Diet should be balanced and nutritious, eat more coarse grains and less sugar. I wish you a long and healthy life, happiness and peace.

2, hypertension is harmful, the quality of diet should be controlled, do not eat viscera or salty, exercise more and be lazy less, life should not be more exciting, plain is true, drink less strong tea and drink more water, and the diet should be reasonable. On World Hypertension Day, I wish you stay away from hypertension and keep a happy mind forever.

3. Obesity is an important risk factor for hypertension.

4. Hypertension patients' blood pressure reaches the standard, and their blood pressure is measured every week 1~2 days; Blood pressure is not up to standard, and blood pressure is measured once a day 1 time;

5, antihypertensive treatment to develop blood pressure standards, blood pressure

6. Controlling hypertension can reduce the risk of stroke by 40-50% and heart disease by 15-30%.

7. National Hypertension Day. At this time, prevent and publicize, eat a balanced and light diet, preserve food with little salt, and popularize self-care awareness. May your blood pressure be stable and healthy. 10/8, wish you a happy life.

8. Hypertension is the biggest risk factor for morbidity and mortality of heart disease, stroke, kidney disease and diabetes. Cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases accounted for 465,438+0% of the total deaths.

9. Happiness is decreasing and blood pressure is increasing. We should take action. People who are nervous at work are too tired, so have a story meeting at leisure. Don't stay up for coffee, remember to take a nap every day. Meals with less salt and meat are the healthiest boiled water. Wandering around the lake, when will you go back to the countryside? Enjoy the chrysanthemum and get drunk in Dongli, fade out of the world of mortals and enjoy the family happiness. 65438+ 10 8 National Hypertension Day, lower blood pressure, get close to nature and embrace health!

10, diet control, salt intake should not be too high. Adjust your emotions and don't jump too high when you are upset. Take care of your body and don't raise the diastolic pressure. I wish you a safe, healthy and happy National Hypertension Day.

165438+ Happy World Hypertension Day.

12, hypertension is harmful, so keep healthy and stay away from it, eat less salt and be light, not greasy and spicy. Don't eat animal viscera, eat less animal fat, don't smoke * don't drink too much, drink less tea and exercise more. National Hypertension Day, keep a regular diet, stay away from the nuisance of alcohol, be open-minded, stay away from high blood pressure and be healthy!

13, unhealthy lifestyle is the main factor leading to the continuous increase of hypertension in China.

14, one bag of milk and one egg, the second one is unobstructed; The three meals should be light and the four bodies should exercise regularly; Five-color fruits and vegetables are uninterrupted, eating only six grams of salt every day; The adjustment of the seven emotions is out of control, and friends from all directions like it; If you don't drink or smoke, you will be very relaxed and uneasy. 10.8 National Hypertension Day, all measures focus on health care, and health and happiness will last forever.

15, global hypertensive patients1500 million, and 7 million deaths are related to hypertension every year. There are at least 200 million hypertensive patients in China, and 2 million deaths are related to hypertension every year.

16, I hope your salary is high, so you will be much happier. I hope you have a high IQ, so there will be more opportunities. I long for your life to be higher, so that you will be much happier. I hope your blood pressure will never be high, so you will be much healthier. On this World Hypertension Day, I wish you good health and always smile.

17, dry blood pressure is high in autumn and winter, and fruits and vegetables are indispensable. Maple leaves and autumn chrysanthemums have good scenery, so you should enjoy autumn scenery early. You can run slowly in the morning, your socks should be breathable, and your feet should be cheap. Close friends can talk and laugh, and people are in the end of the world. Exchange anecdotes and maintenance, and feel happy and healthy. 65438+ 10 8 National Hypertension Day, lower blood pressure and keep healthy happily!

18, excessive drinking increases the prevalence of hypertension, and people who drink more than 2 ounces of liquor every day increase the prevalence of hypertension by 50%.

19, the ambulance roared away and rushed to the emergency center. Doctors are busy doing a series of craniotomy. It was an old man who fell unconscious because of long-term hypertension. He was diagnosed with cerebral hemorrhage and saved his life in time because of the rescue. "National Hypertension Day" wishes friends with hypertension pay attention to health care, actively prevent and treat them, improve their quality of life, and be healthy, happy and happy.

20, hypertension can be prevented, diet and exercise safety. Abstain from alcohol, eat coarse grains, less salt, less meat, and more vegetarian soup. Run slowly, don't catch a cold, and run healthily step by step. Autumn is full of sadness. Be cheerful, laugh happily and relieve stress. 65438+ 10 8 National Hypertension Day, easy to lower blood pressure, but also your health!

The propaganda slogan of hypertension prevention and treatment on National Hypertension Day is 2 1-40 2 1. Happiness is decreasing and blood pressure is rising, so we should take action. People who are nervous at work are too tired, so have a story meeting at leisure. Don't stay up for coffee, remember to take a nap every day. Meals with less salt and meat are the healthiest boiled water. When can I return to the countryside after wandering the rivers and lakes? Dongli's chrysanthemum viewing is intoxicating, fading out of the world of mortals and enjoying family happiness. 65438+ 10 8 National Hypertension Day, lower blood pressure, get close to nature and embrace health!

22. Hypertension is the biggest risk factor for death from cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.

23. Hypertension is one of the most common chronic diseases.

24, National Hypertension Day, send warm wishes. Diet should be moderate, mainly with light taste. Exercise should be moderate and moderate. Moderate mentality, happiness is the best. It is important to have a timely rest and be healthy.

25, 65438+10.8, National Hypertension Day, warm health tips: light diet, low fat and low salt are good for health, and eating quantitative and high-quality protein has a stabilizing effect on blood pressure, and drinking and smoking are never recommended. Aerobic exercise protects the heart, keeps a happy mood at all times, relaxes oneself, does health care well, stays away from high blood pressure and embraces a healthy life.

26. Hypertension is the biggest risk factor for death from cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases. Obesity is an important risk factor for hypertension.

27. You are the legendary real Gao Fushuai: tall, tall, rich and smart. I wish you good health, but your blood pressure should not be too high. Happy World Hypertension Day.

28, regular blood pressure measurement (family, outpatient);

29. Controlling hypertension can reduce the risk of stroke by 40-50% and heart disease by 15-30%.

30. A healthy diet can prevent or reduce the occurrence of hypertension.

3 1, people's hypertension is very harmful, so we should all prevent it; Keep in mind that a reasonable diet, one two three four five six seven: a bag of milk is two or two meters, three servings of protein is four sentences; Five hundred grams of vegetables, six grams of salt, and seven cups of boiling water; Aerobic exercise and more exercise, avoiding alcohol and tobacco is the key; Open-minded and less pressure, happy and happy!

32. Healthy heart rate and healthy blood pressure.

33. High-salt diet increases the prevalence of hypertension; The salt intake of the northern population is almost 1 times that of the southern population, and the prevalence of hypertension in the northern population is almost 1 times that of the southern population.

34. Human hypertension is the biggest risk factor of death from cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.

35, it is best to stay away from alcohol and tobacco greasy, like big fish and big meat is even worse; It is beneficial to love sports and fitness, but harmful to stay up late; Give priority to a balanced diet and strengthen exercise, supplemented by active prevention and aftercare. National hypertension day, stay away from the three highs and live a healthy life!

36. Non-smoking: Never smoking; Or smokers quit smoking;

37, a bag of milk and an egg, the second one is unobstructed; The three meals should be light and the four bodies should exercise regularly; Five * fruits and vegetables are uninterrupted, and only six grams of salt are eaten every day; The adjustment of the seven emotions is out of control, and friends from all directions like it; No drinking * no smoking, it's easy; 10.8 National Hypertension Day, all measures focus on health care, and health and happiness will last forever.

38. On the National Hypertension Day, I will come up with a trick: Yali tomato soup to treat hypertension. Materials: 65438+ 0 pears and 2 tomatoes. Practice: Peel and cook in a pot. Take/kloc-0 once a day for 20 days, which is helpful for early hypertension.

39. Limit sodium: salt intake per person per day.

40. Control people's hypertension and protect the heart, brain and kidney.