Jokes are warm.

Do you know what is the brightest thing in the world? This is my heart for you. As bright and beautiful as the stars in the sky. Like the stars in the sky, they shine for you every day. I hope you are happy because of me! I only hope that I will enter your heart alone, not others. You were arrested and stole my heart. So you're under arrest. I will still love you after I die and will always be your protector. Our love is like an apple, which makes our hearts redder and redder! I love you!

1, Xiao got 4 points in the exam, but he had the cheek to ask his father to sign it. The next day, the teacher asked, "What did your father say about you?" Smiled and said, "Is swearing a dirty word?" The teacher said, "Of course not." The thief smiled and said, "Then he didn't say anything." 2. When Alva Wang was studying in America, he once drove over a ditch, and his leg was crushed by the car. When the American police arrived, they asked, "How are you?" Alva Wang said excitedly, "Fine, thank you, and you?" Later, the American police left, and Alva Wang Wang Daren became a zombie in the Plant Wars, or a zombie with a missing leg. 3. In order to prevent patients from escaping, the mental hospital built a 100 wall outside. One day the king poked away with him. When they turned to the 24th wall, they poked and asked, "Are you tired?" Kang said "not tired" so they continued to turn. When they turned to the 64 th wall, they poked and asked, "Are you tired?" Kang said "not tired". When they turned to the 99th wall, they poked "Tired". Kang answered "I'm so tired" and poked "Go back". Kang said "OK". In junior high school English class, the teacher asked Jing Chao to translate: "Who is this person?" Jing Chao replied shyly, "Whose man is this?" Suddenly, the whole class, together with the teachers, became employees of China Petrochemical Company. 6. When I was in primary school, the composition written by Cunyuan was like this: On the way to school today, the valve core of my bicycle was broken, and Jingchao tore it off and put it on me, and then we both rode our bikes to school happily. 7. I remember the class reunion last year. In the end, everyone drank too much. Zhigang asked "what time is it" in a daze. I saw Xiao Du's classmates gracefully take out a bunch of keys, looked at them and said, "It's 9: 30". Everyone says, "It's still early. Go to the meeting and study by yourself.". 8. In the third year of high school, the school built a sculpture-a goddess with a book in her left hand and a pigeon standing in her right hand. At the celebration meeting, President Peng Hui asked everyone to say the meaning of sculpture. Du Huanhuan, the legendary sleeping girl, calmly said that "reading is the best use of birds". The students worshipped with tears in their eyes, and then the applause almost made the goddess collapse. The next day, 44 students didn't go to school. On the third day, Peng Hui tore the goddess down with tears. 9. I remember last summer, Shaobian spent more than 300 yuan on a perm. Zhigang looked at it and said, "Did you just come back from Iran? Was it bombed by shells? " He saw it from a distance and said, "Can this hatch chickens from the eggs my mother just bought?" Jing Chao said, "Do you have any political conspiracy in doing this?" The next day, Shaobian spent five yuan to earn it back. I admire his "atmosphere, fucking atmosphere" from the soles of my feet. Wang poked Xin Binglian, walked up to the soldiers and asked the first soldier, "Answer me, what is the motherland?" The first soldier replied, "Sir, my motherland is my mother." The king nodded with satisfaction, then went to the second soldier and asked, answer me, what is the motherland? "The second soldier said decisively," Sir, the motherland is the mother of the first soldier. "1 1, alas, ridiculous, sad and shameful. Today, I was so obsessed with things that I threw a bag of rice directly into the trash can when steaming rice, and my brothers in the kitchen were petrified at that time. When I woke up, I found that the trash can had no function of steaming rice. 12, the experience these days feels like-I am Wang Zhongyang in the movie "Going East and Going West". I practiced hard for four years, hoping to regain my glory, but I was killed by a flying shoe falling from the sky when I passed through customs. How can it be "egg pain" if you die unjustly? My heart is so cold, because I ate a bucket of fragrant snow cups tonight. 13, unfamiliar friends said I was a log beside a stone, and familiar friends said I was the CEO of an insane asylum. I am neither evil nor evil, and terrorists will never eat me alive. Therefore, how wide my heart is, how big my world is. I will boldly stick to what I want, and time will not be wasted. 14, finally finished, but my hand was cut. It hurts. The younger brother asked with concern, "With your skill, you shouldn't cut your hand. What is the situation? " I smiled and said, "I'm thinking of someone." Diego said, "Who are you thinking about?" I smiled again: "Guess? "Brother:" It's her. " I said, "There's progress. You guessed it. How do you know? " Diego replied, "Because of the smirk on your face, and I am God's big brother. "15, Su Yan's house caught fire, so she called 1 19:" Fire fighting, fire fighting. Fireman Peng Hui said, "Where is my house?" ? "Peng Hui said," where is the specific location? "Su Yan is in the kitchen. Peng Hui is almost asking, "Then how can I get to your house?" Su Yan also flew into a rage. 16, I remember once, my new girlfriend Xiaomei and I went to KFC, and it was 98 yuan when we checked out, so I forgot my wallet. I quickly said that I had to go to the toilet. When he finally borrowed 100, I saw Xiaomei slowly sucking a milkshake. At this time, tears came down from a distance, and I said to myself, "Sister, I didn't order earlier. "Which angel sister asked you to mess with me?" 17. It is said that Sun Xufang is smart since he was a child and likes to do research. Finally, Huang Tian pays off. Xiao Fang invented the space shuttle and said he would go to the sun. Hearing this, Wang poked and asked, "How can I go in such a hot sun?" Xiao Fang proudly said, "Go at night." 18, Wang Cunyuan wanted to jump from the 24th floor in pain. His wife Gao Mengbin cried and said, "Honey, don't jump, we still have a long way to go." The words sound just fell and he jumped up with a whoosh. Wang Jingchao said sadly, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this." Hahahaha smiled and grew old together. Take good care of both of you, walk hard, get married at an early date, and send my sincere wishes in advance. I will pray for you in the northernmost part of China. 19, one day, when Zhigang saw Xiao Jian's sad face, he asked her, "What happened so unhappy?" Xiao Jian looked disappointed and said, "Well, it's a long story." "Zhigang" and then make a long story short "Xiao Jian" Yeah, depressed. "Zhigang" $...#%&"20. If a person has been experiencing ordinary things, there is not much sadness or joy. After 22 years, is he sad or happy? Personally, I have never been washed away by big winds and waves, cheated, experienced, framed by wealth and beauty, or persecuted by my right hand and left hand. Such blandness and nonsense should be on the same level. There is no real survival. 2 1, one day zhigang said to Liu Mang, a girl he likes, "I love you, it has nothing to do with you." Liu Mang immediately replied, "Well, I'm leaving." 22, grass, pit me to death, I have worked hard. China Mobile-I see through love and you.