Because of the problem of taking care of the elderly, my uncle directly looked down on my mother. What word should I use to refute it?

In a blink of an eye, I am also a "Ben San" family. Recalling my parents' teaching when I was a child, I used to be so boring, but today I am so kind.

1. Don't scratch your head and rub your hands when you meet a celebrity. The world is like water. Big fish are underwater, and all you can see are small fish and shrimp. When I was a groupie, my mother said to me.

2. Men should work hard and have the strength to start a business. -When I was a bean sprout, my father said to me.

3. When you go out, don't treat others as good people, and don't treat others as bad people. -when I want to study abroad, my father said to me.

When a man has knowledge, he doesn't think that a woman is more beautiful, just because he thinks he is a fairy, and no one looks down on him. I haven't even touched a hoe, and I haven't suffered. Do you know what life is? Did you grow up eating shit without your farmer uncle? -when I inadvertently expressed a little contempt for my uncle from the country, my mother said to me.

If you can bear the pain, you can enjoy happiness. When you have a car, you can't forget the days when you didn't have to ride a bike. When I was in the spring breeze, my mother said to me.

6. Don't be bullied, and don't bully others, especially honest people. -when I was a teenager, my father said to me after fighting with others.

7. Remember others' kindness to yourself, and forget your kindness to others if possible. -When I was betrayed by friends who kowtowed and swore together in those years, my father said to me.

8. Don't mention old people, right? Everyone should be filial, aren't you old? -when I contradict my grandmother, my mother said to me.

9. You can't just look at money when looking for a job. People who dare to make any money can't make any money. When I graduated from college and faced with a career choice, my mother said to me.

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16. If you want to kill a pig, you must follow the pig's temper. -the first time I helped my uncle kill pigs in the country, my father said to me. The poor pig was chopped by me for twenty or thirty knives and flew for several miles before he died heroically.

17. Cutting wood in the mountains when I was a child. When I came back, the firewood on my back was heavier than mine. Once, I accidentally fell down while moving firewood, and the firewood weighed me down. I was so anxious at that time, thinking: this is no good, I have to get up! -When I can only wander around Hangzhou with a diploma from a famous university, when I live in a dark, ghost-free hut in order to quit drug addiction, when I am dying because of drug addiction and crawling on the ground, it is my mother's words that make me bite my teeth and stop tears from flowing.

18. Books are dead, people are alive, and reading is stupid. It is better not to read. -Dad's words.

19. Just listen to the old man. I live longer than you! When I was tired of grandma's nagging, my mother said to me.

20. It is not necessarily friends who praise you the most, but friends who scold you the most. You must regard your family as friends. They are helping you. -Mom's words.

2 1. If it rises, it will retreat from the mountain stream, which will easily make people feel small. -my father's mantra, I later learned that it is based on "expanding the sages." It is said that you can speak after reading the expansion. Why do I often feel speechless after I have passed the age of reading and expanding? Is this evolution or degradation?

22. What can I do if I just talk and don't practice? -Mom and she objected to my application for philosophy. Now it seems that I still have a job to eat because of her old man's house.

Sociology of adolescent rebellious psychology

Li Qingfeng

In the past, the discussion and research on teenagers' rebellious psychology were generally carried out from two aspects: the characteristics of teenagers' physical and mental development and the parenting style, which revealed the physiological, psychological and educational reasons for teenagers' rebellious psychology to a great extent. However, at present, the rebellious psychology of teenagers is mainly caused by the changes of social culture, that is, there are profound social reasons. This paper intends to explore the causes of adolescent rebellious psychology from the perspective of sociology.

"Half-grown boys make me angry" and "Uncle is hard to do". These complaints from parents in daily life are all about children's rebellious psychological phenomena. It is generally believed that rebellious psychology is a psychological state in which people take opposite attitudes and words and deeds to each other's demands in order to maintain self-esteem or meet their own needs. Everyone has rebellious psychology since childhood, but it is more prominent in children's adolescence. People feel that children in this period are more difficult to discipline than at any other time, and the opposition between parents and adults is more prominent than at any other time. Specifically, teenagers' rebellious psychology is mainly manifested in the following aspects: (1) They don't like their parents' excessive care, management or intervention; But to practice by myself, I especially hate repeated instructions and requests from adults. (2) I don't want to discuss many things with my parents, but decide for myself. (3) Parents are no longer obedient; But they have their own opinions and opinions, and dare to put forward their own different opinions. (4) For traditional ideas, ready-made conclusions and authorities often do not blindly follow; But a critical attitude. In a word, they oppose adults to treat themselves as "children" and demand to appear as adults. A survey shows that among middle school students, 76.4% are only children who want others to treat them as adults, and 78.2% are not only children. Only children rated themselves as "strong", accounting for 63. 1%, while non-only children accounted for 66.3%.

Therefore, in the eyes of many parents, their children were fine in primary school, but they changed after entering junior high school. They are particularly disobedient and love to bicker with adults. You told him to go east, but he insisted on going west. There is a phenomenon of "not being taught" and "not obedient", and they often "fight with their parents". Sometimes they scoff at the positive propaganda made by society, schools and parents, and think in the opposite direction of disapproval and distrust; Unreasonable doubt or even fundamental denial of advanced figures and role models; Identify with bad tendencies and drink their colors; Parents' teaching, ideological education and discipline are all negative, and even despise confrontation and so on. All these performances seem to go against common sense. Parents and other elders are not good to their children, why should they show lofty and extraordinary attitudes and behaviors?

On the one hand, teenagers' rebellious psychology is caused by physiological changes, on the other hand, it is caused by parental discipline. But why do some parents' ways of discipline cause resentment among teenagers and children? This also requires some rational thinking from the changes of social culture.

1. With the changes of social culture, parents are no longer the absolute authority in children's minds in the possession of cultural knowledge. China's traditional culture holds that parents are very dignified and inviolable authorities in the family. Traditional concepts such as "monarch, monarch, minister, father, son, son" and "father is son" have accumulated into a psychological and cultural stereotype in the evolution. But in modern society, the authority of parents has been shaken with the changes of social culture. Specific performance in the following aspects.

(1) Parents are no longer the main knowledge carriers of children. With the development of science and technology and modern media, this generation of young people has obviously increased their opportunities to acquire knowledge and information and broadened their horizons. Especially teenagers' mastery of computer and network technology weakens the authoritative position of adults in the world of teenagers. Fighting for control and getting rid of control will be the focus of contradictions between the two generations.

(2) Teenagers' cognition and acceptance of new things are often better than their parents'. Young people accept the new production lifestyle quickly and can learn it immediately with little concern; Moreover, parents not only have some knowledge and experience that have fallen behind the development of society, but also tend to be slower than teenagers in accepting new ideas and concepts.

(3) Various cultural metaphors coexist in the family. What our ancestors learned when they were young can be used for a lifetime; What our parents learned when they were young can last half their lives, while what our generation learned when they were young was only 1/4 or 1/3. Therefore, some sociologists say that we are entering the era of "figurative culture" in which adults and teenagers learn from each other, and the "pre-figurative culture" mode in which a single offspring in the family has to learn from the elderly to survive no longer exists. Moreover, the "post-figurative culture" mode in which the elders take turns to learn from the younger generation also occurs frequently. The existence of knowledge transfer mode of "parallel figurative culture" and "post figurative culture" also weakens the authority of parents.

2. Social and cultural changes have brought more obvious differences in values between the two generations; Cultural imbalance, even the anomie of social behavior norms in some aspects, brings conflicts of ideas, attitudes and norms. In the changeable society, today's parents are deeply influenced by traditional culture, and it is inevitable that they will consciously or unconsciously implement the old value standards when dealing with parent-child relationship; On the other hand, it can't avoid the all-round impact of the existing society, and its own ideas are often discontinuous or even contradictory. However, modern children are less or unaffected by the historical burden, and most of them have a more practical view of the real society. Intergenerational differences exist objectively, but they are the most prominent at present. Moreover, in the era of rapid development of science and technology, the social structure and function are constantly changing, and the future is difficult to predict; In an era when everything is multi-dimensional and multi-standard, and everything is changing rapidly, it is difficult for teenagers to establish their own beliefs, predict the future, know how to treat themselves and judge what is trustworthy. In this regard, parents are often equally confused, not to mention convincing guidance to teenagers.

3. With the emergence of nuclear family and adolescent subculture, the socialization of adolescents is more influenced by peers. In a family with many children, the socialization of children has three lines: one is the influence of vertical parents, the other is the influence of oblique brothers and sisters, and the third is the influence of horizontal peers; In the nuclear family, there is no influence of the diagonal line of brothers and sisters. The only child has relatively little emotional support in the family, but the spiritual support is relatively early, which makes the children seek to get rid of the influence of their parents in many ways. With the appearance of peers and even the formation of adolescent subculture, teenagers seek more emotional recognition and support from peers or organizations to develop their sexual ability. Of course, it is not excluded that some of them try to force themselves to accept their parents' ideas on the one hand, and hope to respect the norms of their peers or organizations on the other hand, hoping to be accepted by their peers. However, taking both into account, although well-intentioned, the effect is often poor. As a result of most efforts, I would rather be misunderstood by my parents than treated coldly, coldly or even rejected by my peers, because it is uncomfortable to be looked down upon and isolated by my peers.

4. The change of social culture makes the role-playing between parents and children conflict with the role expectation. As far as children are concerned, they are influenced by all kinds of TV, movies, online culture and the public, so they have their own ideal standards for the role played by their parents: guidance rather than demanding; Undisturbed love; Willing to provide necessary help; Inform them of possible faults in time; Respect their interests and choices; Accept their classmates and friends; Participate in their games and activities with the greatest interest; Give priority to children's thoughts; Treat children fairly and reasonably; Always listen to your child's voice. They hope that parents should avoid: unfair punishment, inappropriate criticism and excessive protection; Disturbing persuasion, always thinking that their children are still young; If you make a little mistake, you will nag; Boast everywhere when you make small achievements; Never listen to your child calmly; Always treat children's friends with suspicion and hatred; Complaining about too much housework all day, the children are not sensible. I always like to talk about how good other people's children are in front of my own children. For parents, children's roles are: being knowledgeable, being polite and behaving in line with social norms; Diligent and studious, mechanical progress; I hope that children can inherit their own mantle or shine the lintel; Sometimes, parents will regard their unfulfilled idealizations as expectations for their children's roles, such as going to college or becoming experts in a certain field. As can be seen from the above, the change of social culture is an extremely important reason for teenagers to have rebellious psychology, disharmony between parents and children, and even conflict. Therefore, we must reflect on the past knowledge and practices, examine the current social and cultural changes, and think about the parent-child relationship in the new turning period. We might as well change the angle and mode of thinking. From the standpoint of teenagers' growth, socialization and human social progress, we can not only see teenagers' psychological development and behavioral defects, but also see their progress, mainstream and development direction, overcome negative factors with positive factors, improve and harmonize parent-child relationship and promote the healthy growth of teenagers and children.

Youth studies. four