Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes

Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes

Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes. In our spare time between work and study, we might as well gather with family or friends to eat and chat. In addition to chatting If you are a smart parent, you can also tell jokes to liven up the atmosphere. Jokes are a great way to create an atmosphere in a crowded place. Let’s take a look at some funny, humorous and meaningful jokes. Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes 1

1. My test scores were very poor. My mother was very angry and scolded: "Tell me, what else do you do besides eating?"

The son replied : "Still hungry!"

2. "Have you ever seriously waited for someone?"

"Yes!"

"Who is it? ? ”

“Bus driver. ”

3. When you are angry, you must calm down in time and try to persuade the other party first.

If you can’t persuade the other person, you will be more confident in hitting them.

4. I originally wanted to use the threat of "it's not ready yet, why don't you cancel it for me?" in order to achieve the effect of urging food.

As a result, the clerk really refunded it to me.

5. Visiting the Forbidden City, the tour guide said: "The queen does not live with her husband. Unlike us now, we can see her husband every morning when we wake up."

The aunt next to me said: "Is there such a good thing?"

6. My blood vessels are relatively thin, so I went to the hospital to get an IV drip, but my sister, the intern nurse, couldn't get it, so I asked the head nurse to come over and give it to me. Needle.

The head nurse looked at me and then at my arm. She was silent for two seconds and said to the busy nurses behind: "Come here. Today's graduation exam is ahead of schedule. This one can be tied up." 10 more points."

7. I went to eat with the boss of the company. After finishing the meal, he shouted: "Check out, boss."

The boss of the company got up and went to pay.

Now I can’t sleep at home. I wonder if I can still go to work tomorrow?

8. My colleague broke up with her husband and called me to cry in the middle of the night. I comforted her for almost two hours. After that, I couldn’t sleep well. I kept thinking about why she called me. I am a great old man.

Less than half an hour after hanging up the phone, he called me again and said that they had reconciled.

This time I got my wish, completely insomnia!

9. A couple traveled together. When the train they took passed through a long tunnel and came out, the man said: "If I had known that the tunnel was so long, I would have given you a kiss." < /p>

The woman screamed: "Oh my god, weren't you the one who kissed me just now?"

10. I have been very dark since I was a child. There was a fire. When the fireman came to put out the fire, I ran out as hard as I could.

Suddenly I heard someone say: "This kid is burnt, and he is still running so fast."

11. I have owned the car for more than a year, and today I went to the traffic police team to check the violation record .

The service staff looked at me lightly and said, "Brother, you can get into Tsinghua University!"

I was confused at the time.

12. Why do successful people like to give you chicken soup?

Because they finished the chicken.

13. I went to practice driving yesterday, and the coach told me that there was a puddle in front of me. I don’t know what happened to my brain at that time, but I actually held the steering wheel with my hands and raised my feet.

14. A classmate was on a blind date at home. I asked him how he was doing, and he said half the battle was successful.

He went, but others didn’t.

15. In fact, learning to swim is very simple. First of all, you must not be afraid of drowning. When you are about to sink, relax your breathing and you will float naturally in a few days.

16. Confess to a colleague: "I used to take beautiful pictures, but now they are getting uglier and uglier?"

The colleague said calmly: "Nowadays, the pixels are becoming more and more beautiful. "High."

17. When borrowing money, you must confirm whether it is the person you are borrowing. You can make a voice or video call. I usually refuse it only after confirming that it is the person.

18. Today the head teacher found a mobile phone in the class. No one dared to admit it when she asked who it was. Then she threw it to the ground in front of the whole class.

Later I discovered that the mobile phone belonged to the math teacher and he forgot to take it away after class.

19. When I shared a room with my roommate, it was my turn to do the cleaning. I was really too lazy, so before going home, I pretended to be a beauty on my trumpet and found someone "nearby" to strike up a conversation with.

Told him that I was going to his house, and he took the initiative to clean the room.

20. I really miss my childhood when I could receive money as long as I stretched out my hand.

That’s no longer possible. I have to kneel on the road and stretch out my hands! Funny, humorous and meaningful jokes 2

1. You are tall and raised your face so that I can’t see your eyes. I feel like a pair of small eyes are staring at me. It turns out that they are nostril eyes.

2. A: Do you know the characteristics of crime-solving films? B: Twists and thrills. A: The answer is only half correct, it should be a tortuous love and a thrilling martial arts.

　3. If I had a girlfriend, I would not be sullen because she skipped class. I would sincerely say to her: Be good, can you call me if you skip class next time?

4. I heard that you were raped, which really scared me! Although you are a child of dementia, you are not harmful to society! Who is so bold as to sell you! I'm really worried about him, it would be strange if he sells it!

5. A boy is chasing after him, but the girl is not interested in the boy. Because the boy is stalking her, the girl loudly says to the boy: What do you like about me? Can't I change it?

A 6-year-old girl should tell stories to make her sleep. An 18-year-old girl should tell stories to trick her into sleeping with you. A 28-year-old girl should tell stories to trick her into sleeping with you. A 28-year-old girl should tell stories to trick you into sleeping with her. A 38-year-old girl will tell stories to trick you into sleeping with you. She sleeps.

7. Give you a purely natural supplement that is mild in nature, does not contain any pigments and additives, is curved in shape, is good for qi and beauty, enhances charm and pleases the body and mind. The scientific name is: Smile. Remember to smile always!

8. Really awesome companies can change the world with just one product, like Apple and Adobe. The former has saved countless patients waiting for organ transplants, and the latter has saved countless women.

9. The call from heart to heart is inseparable from deep love; the communication from heart to heart is inseparable from eternal longing. I wish to have you by my side every day of my life, and it will not change until the sea is dry and the stone is broken.

10. Late at night, my roommate said that he was bored and wanted to watch a Japanese movie. I was despising his obscene behavior in my heart. I looked over and saw that he actually clicked on Ultraman.

11. The dog said to the bear: Marry me, marry me and you will be happy. The bear said: I don’t want to marry. Marrying you will only give birth to bears. I want to marry a cat. Giving birth to pandas would be noble!

12. If autumn passes, I will love you in the snow! If the world disappears, I will love you in heaven! If you are gone, I will love you in tears! If I leave, I will love you from afar!

13. The young people in my village celebrate the New Year with four great joys: bright snowflakes floating in the window; big egg potatoes in a warehouse; sour old vinegar brewing in a vat; and pretty girls squeezing into a kang.

14. Zhu Bajie was severely beaten by the spider spirit. Looking at the spider spirit’s retreating back, he said aggrievedly: For love, even if you disfigure me, it’s still worth it.

15. Even if a thousand people pass by me, I can still easily recognize you, because 999 of them are stepping on my body, but you are stepping on me. heart!

16. You are a book and I am a bag, you are a mouse and I am a cat, you are wood and I am glue, you are pork and I am a knife, we have such a good relationship, you will pay for tonight’s meal!

17. I won’t marry you just because a man passed by a restaurant and said a dish was delicious, doesn’t mean he wants to stay and be a chef.

18. A weasel placed a sign on the top of a cliff in Chicken Country: How do you know you are not an eagle unless you jump down? Then I waited at the bottom of the cliff every day to eat the chicken that fell to death.

19. Why does Xinwen Network always broadcast clips of them finishing the script after the performance? A: To tell you, our bragging was a rough draft.

20. Dad: What is 1 plus 2? Son: I don’t know.

Dad: For example, if you, me, your mother, and I are together, how many are there in one ***? Fool! The son immediately replied: 3 idiots!

21. The map of love has no direction, only your smile! The real scene of love has no road signs, only your beauty! There is no loneliness between you and me in love, only the smell of our mutual embrace!

22. My daughter asked: Why do people get married when they grow up? Mom: It’s because I want to be with the person I like. Well, then I will marry my mother when I grow up. I like my mother the most! Funny and meaningful jokes 3

1. On the weekend, my girlfriend and I took the bus to go out to play, but unfortunately, we met a robber on the bus. The robber kept on in the car. After wandering around, they finally walked up to my girlfriend and I and said viciously, "Hand over your most valuable thing!" Faced with the threats from the robbers, my girlfriend pushed me out without saying a word. I didn't know whether I should be moved or angry.

2. On the infatuation of the best foodies. The second sister is a nurse and a hardcore foodie. Due to her seafood allergy. So keep some medicines to treat allergies at home. As long as I eat seafood, I will give myself an infusion as soon as I get home...

3. Yesterday, I went to a restaurant for dinner, and a girl came in during the meal. She walked to the front desk and asked the boss: "Can you deliver food? The boss replied: "Have you already come to the store? Just eat here!" At this time, the girl handed over a note and said, "This is the address of my friend's house. I really can't find it." If you want to deliver food to his house, please send me there too!"

4. Teacher: "Hello, Xiao Ming's father, I asked Xiao Ming yesterday, a pound of cabbage is 1.3 yuan, how much is thirty pounds? Yuan, he answered thirty yuan. It’s okay if he answered wrongly, but he lied. He said you taught him.” Xiao Ming’s father: “Yes, I taught you. It’s true that one pound of cabbage is 1.3, and 30 pounds is 30.” "Yuan!" Teacher: "What do you do?" Xiao Ming's father: "Teacher, I am a wholesaler of cabbage." 5. When I was in high school, a classmate was caught by the class teacher while playing with his mobile phone. arrive. In front of the whole class, the class teacher slammed the phone to the ground, pointed at it and said: Whoever fails to listen to the class carefully in the future will end up like this. Looking at the shattered mobile phones on the ground, the whole class was silent.

6. Accompanying my wife to buy clothes, Wife: How did the boss sell these clothes? Store: 360 a piece Wife: Too expensive! Store: Minimum 300, no bargaining! Wife: Is 35 okay? I want it if it can be sold! Storekeeper: OK, pay! Wife: Oops, it’s too expensive! Me: There are thousands of grass horses running through my heart! What kind of trouble are you going to make now?

7. I lived on the same street as my boss. When I got off work, my boss asked me to pick him up, but we didn’t talk much on the way. When I reached a bridge, I found a topic and said: "There was a fool the day before yesterday. The car actually hit a bridge pier and the car was almost destroyed!" At this time, the leader looked at me with a complicated expression and said, "That's why I have to drive your car today!"

8. In I often order takeout in college, and most of them are delivered by the same little brother. As graduation was approaching, he said that he had something to say to me. I was inexplicably nervous. Could it be that he was going to confess to me? I didn’t expect him to say something that I will never forget. He said: "Eat less in the future." After all, I have watched you gain weight in the past two years! "

9. When I arrived at the appointed place, I sat on the window seat with an easy-to-recognize book in my hand. After a while, the waiter came over with a menu and said: "Hello, madam, what would you like to drink? Our boss said that whatever you drink today is free." Me: "Free? Do I know your boss?" Waiter: "Our boss is the one who is going on a blind date with you today. Our boss saw you when you came in just now. He said there is no need to meet, and all the drinks you drink today are free."

10. I express my gratitude My brother's academic performance was not good. One day the teacher asked him who burned the Old Summer Palace. He said: I didn't burn it. The teacher called his father at that time and said: Your son has become more and more shameless recently. I asked who burned the Old Summer Palace. He actually said that he had not burned it. After returning home, he was severely beaten by his father. The next day, his father called the teacher and said: He had admitted that he had burned the Old Summer Palace last night.

Eleven, 4 people in the office. Two men and two women. Only I don't smoke. I'm female. The boss joked: Look, all three of us here smoke. Otherwise, forget about smoking.

A friend came over and saw us in this condition. Tell me: Do you know the dangers of secondhand smoke? It’s far more harmful than smoking firsthand smoke. Me: So you are suggesting that I just smoke first-hand smoke? I feel like I will be led astray sooner or later.