Classic funny sentences

1. I went swimming in the lake in the afternoon and suddenly it rained heavily. I quickly dived into the water to shelter from the rain.

2. When is the money in the pocket like school homework? Then I must be better than Bill Gates.

The mirror is my best friend, because it never smiles when I cry.

As soon as you open your eyes and close your eyes, one third of the summer vacation has passed.

People who have only seen me once have no right to slander me behind my back.

6, they all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.

7, the so-called holiday, the family suspects that going out without money is particularly free every day.

8. Lord Bao, why is there a moon on your forehead? Because you don't understand the darkness of my grandfather during the day!

9. The examination room is like a battlefield. Either you die or I die.

10, what happened to my vocational high school? I am about to take the entrance examination for higher vocational education, and I can also be a college student.

1 1. Life is like opening a plug-in. Success is direct success. If you fail, you die directly.

12, I found an admission ticket for the college entrance examination. I tried to find the owner and return it to her. After all, according to the photos, if she doesn't take the college entrance examination, there is no way out.

13, a gentleman takes revenge for ten years, but a villain takes revenge all day long.

14, learn to bask in the results, the goddess basks in the selfie, the local tyrant basks in the money, the model basks in the body, and Laozi basks in the sun!

15, beautiful fantasy can never resist the cruelty of reality, even gold will shine, not to mention I am a diamond!

16, the earth is getting hotter and hotter, and people are getting colder and colder.

17, life lies in exercise? How can a turtle live so long without moving?

18, long-term low-cost acquisition of all kinds of idle girls, models are not limited, details are negotiable.

19, Valentine's Day is coming. Thunderstorms will be too frequent in the next few days. Please swear to women as little as possible to avoid being struck by lightning.

20. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

2 1, these days, there is no love that never breaks up, only when it doesn't hurt your hand.

22, knowing that it is poisonous, I still want to eat it!

23. Mom said that monsters who don't study hard are not good bump men.

24. From primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

25, take you to force you to fly, take you to the dump!

26. What do you think most when standing in the bungee jumping place? I want to pee anyway!

27. Smile can be given to anyone, but your heart only needs to be given to one person.

28. Who travels around the world without a box of masks these days?

29. Sometimes, your feelings deceive you.

30. If you have a pear, put it in the refrigerator and it will turn into a frozen pear.

3 1, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but there are many WIFI nearby, but we don't know the password.

32. copy the highest level of the answer, and copy it for a long time.

33. It's one thing to wake up and another to get up.

34. Now that there are more and more billionaires, I only have one hundred million, which is still a memory.

35. Everyone is made in China, so don't be mean.

36. If people are sentimental and old, move my brother here and do it all.

37. Your Excellency is a natural inspiration!

38. I hope that when I receive the red envelope, I will open it and write another one.

39. For so many years, only Green Arrow has not increased its price.

40. When I am in a bad mood, I want a hug.

4 1, people who say good night to sleep are often still showing off in an ostentatious manner after half an hour.

42. It's not just women who wear bras outside? Maybe it's crayon Shinchan.

43. The world is so beautiful, but you are so grumpy. Not good, not good.

44. The society has deteriorated, and the earth needs to reinstall its system.

45, because you are different, because you are special, sometimes you have to get used to loneliness.

46. I hope someone will spoil me to lawlessness.

47. My wish is to sleep until I was a child.

48. Girls' skin is so good, is there a big treasure?

49. The robber said a wise saying when robbing a bank: Nobody moves! Money belongs to the country, and life is your own.

50. What about your spine? Run away from home!

5 1, death is not terrible, what is terrible is that you dare not die.

52. If your heart can accommodate any man, then my heart can accommodate any woman.

53, you didn't spoil the word youth, you are in beginning of autumn.

54. Don't cry at my grave, it defiles my path of reincarnation.

55. I want to base my happiness on the suffering of others.

I met you not because of coincidence, but because of fate.

57. As long as you have classes in your heart, you don't skip classes anywhere.

58. I always like sweets because I think I have something to make up for.

59. My sister watches Qingguo College on my computer all day, so I can't play games. What a nuisance!

I want to be a girl full of positive energy.

6 1, I will try to save money and buy an ATM.

I hope that neither you nor anyone else will be happy except me.

63. I want to be fat into a sea and drown all the dead skinny people who show off.

64. Sometimes I just want to sit next to you and stare at your silhouette with a slight smile. There is nothing extra for each other.

65. Comparing the anti-freezing ability of people in the north and south, it can be summarized as follows: the anti-freezing figures of people in the south are high, and the anti-freezing equipment of people in the north is high.

66. I tried to be an interesting person, but later I went astray and became a tease.

As long as I want to win, you are scum.

68. Edison went out to play with a couple and later invented the light bulb.

69, Nima, if you are well, see you once on a sunny day! If you get well, it will be a bolt from the blue!

70. Do you understand why I can't travel? Because you are poor.

7 1, I prefer handsome people to rusty people.

72. I always thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.

73. Let time hone us, let time prove us, let time repay us, and let us live happily on the young battlefield!

74. Congratulations, the signature was published successfully. You can check it in the latest signature.

There are a group of Smurfs on this side of the mountain and on the other side of the sea! They are hardworking and clever, working overtime until dawn.

76. It costs several dollars to change the name on the ID card and several dollars to change the name of the game. What is reality!

77. It's noon on weeding day. It's really hard to go to school. I have entered the school and stood all afternoon.

78. Teacher, just follow the old lady! ... after a long time ... teacher, please give me a break!

79, boy, don't mess with me, or I'll show you the taste of living in the basement.

80, how can an oath that is proud of heaven and earth keep your heart beating?

8 1, is there such a person around you? He is happy when you are angry!

82. Don't cover up the fact that you are an idiot just because you are black.

83. Give me a correct answer and I will give my parents a satisfactory answer.

I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday, but she stole my food today.

85. Andy Lau's dream of having a son came true, and netizens named the children: Liu Dezhu and Liu Laogen.

86. What is a real brother? Is to stand up and be his woman when my brother needs a woman.

Tell yourself I'm sorry, but I can't marry you.

88. I thought "invisibility" was useless and others could not find me.

My room is a mess, so please call me Piao.

90. I thought I was the most handsome when I was a child, but why are you so handsome now?

9 1, don't say sorry if you loved, I have never regretted it.

92. It is said that girls look better in canvas shoes than in high heels, but who can understand the pain that I can only wear sneakers because of my big feet?

93. I play computer too much and want to watch TV quickly.

94. My Fair Lady was walking with long hair so gentle that she suddenly turned around. Wow! How ugly!

95. I wish a girl had kissed me suddenly when I wanted to smoke. Tell me when you want to smoke in the future, and I will kiss you.

96. Don't call your child a rabbit, because from a genetic point of view, it's not good for parents.

97. My strengths: I have the courage to admit my mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

98. If he is with the person who loves me the most, he won't be afraid. The answer is yes: I don't have to be afraid in my life.

99, China synchronized diving, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law should be the best pair of partners, because for decades, they always fall at the same time.

100, I also want to underestimate myself, but my weight is not allowed.

10 1, teasing, my girlfriend said that she dreamed of me and thought it was a good thing. Unexpectedly, she said that she dreamed of me, so I kissed her.

102, dear, will you come to my wedding? What do you care if I don't come?

If you are tired, the world will give you a hug, but remember to wake up and face everything.

104, I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I streaked in too many chefs for more than ten years.

105, the same tune, but I can't hear the previous melody.

106, you said the homework was cheap, but you asked us to do it.

107. I am a neat freak. I'd better not come near me. Don't blame me for pushing you away.

108, fairy tales are all lies, and Andersen is lying to himself.

109, the Smurfs sang "When I grow up, I will be you" to Avatar.

1 10, who do you think you are? The bottle on the kerosene lamp thinks you are a light bulb.

1 1 1. The vibration of mobile phones is basically inaudible at home, but it is especially like an earthquake at school.

1 12, now I feel that even if Xiaoming dies, mathematics will not die, because Xiaoming still has many small partners!

1 13, three suicide notes: "The passbook is in the password box, the password box is in the safe, and the safe key is sandwiched in the passbook."

1 14, if you want to be so polite to me, I won't be polite!

1 15, create a group for those friends who use iphone online, so you don't have to bother to borrow money.

1 16, sometimes you feel ugly. If you take out your ID card, you will find yourself worrying too much.

1 17. The teacher said that a wrong question is a kind of wealth. I read my paper and found that I am a local tyrant.

1 18, I am relieved to know that you are having a hard time!

1 19, the cleverest emotional investment skill is to give timely help, not icing on the cake.

120, books are the ladder of human progress, and e-books are the electricity that human beings enter. ;