High-quality jokes

In chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvent and solute: "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute. For example, if you eat a bowl of rice, eat another bowl, and the third bowl is full, can you still eat? "

A student asked, "Is there anything to eat?"

2. Check-

During the exam, a student took out the dice and shook out ten multiple-choice questions. At last he suddenly took it out and shook it. The invigilator finally couldn't bear it: "What are you doing?"

The student replied, "I'm checking."

3. Where to go-

One day, a lady called a taxi. Miss: "Hello! I am at a certain intersection and I want to take a taxi. "

Driver: "What are you wearing?" Miss: "I wear a white coat and a blue skirt."

Driver: "Where to?"

Miss: "to the knee." Driver: ". . . . . . "

4. People in Egypt and India, oh, don't use toilet paper. Do you know what they look like when they respond to the call of nature? They wash with their left hands and then rinse with water. How dirty it is, but every time I pass a building, I see a long queue to buy Indian cakes there, so I hide my face and walk over with a smile. You know, it's hard to throw a cake with one hand.

5. Know people by their legs-

In an animal experiment in a university, the examiner announced the test questions: there are ten birds in front of the classroom, each with a cloth bag, and only the legs are exposed. Please observe the legs of each bird carefully, and then say their common names, habits, genera, etc.

A college student observed the legs of every bird, but these birds seemed no different to him. The more he looks at them, the angrier he gets. He got up and said to the professor, "This kind of exam is so boring. Who can tell a bird by its legs? "

The professor was shocked by his words and deeds and quickly asked, "which class are you in?" What's your name? "

Angry college students went to the podium, lifted their trouser legs up and shouted at the professor, "Guess, guess!" "

6. Beggars and misers-

A beggar came to the door of a miser's house to beg.

Beggar: "Please give me a small piece of meat, cheese or cream." Miser: "No!"

Beggar: "Bread crumbs will do."

Miser: "No!"

Beggar: "Then give me some water to drink!" " "Miser:" We don't even have water. "

The beggar was angry: "Then why are you still sitting at home?" ? Come and beg with me! "

7. Captives and horses-

A cavalry was unfortunately captured in the battle.

"We will kill all the prisoners." The enemy leader said to him, "But because of your heroic performance in the battle, I can kill you in three days, and meet your three requirements before that." Now, you can ask the first question. "

Without thinking, the cavalry said, "I want to say something to my horse." The leader agreed. So the cavalry went over and whispered a word to his horse. Hearing this, the horse gave a long whistle and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back with a beautiful woman on its back. That night, the cavalry and the girl spring night. The leader exclaimed, "What a wonderful BMW!" He said, "But I will kill you. What is your second requirement? "

The cavalry asked to talk to the horse again. The leader agreed, so the cavalry whispered a few words to the horse again, and the horse roared again and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back. This time, the girl on her back is sexier than last time. That night, the cavalry and the girl had another happy night.

The leader was greatly impressed: "You and your horse are really an eye-opener, but I will kill you tomorrow. Now you make one last request. " The cavalry thought for a moment and said, "I want to talk to my horse alone." The leader felt very strange, but nodded in agreement and left with his entourage, leaving only the cavalry and his BMW in the tent. The cavalry stared at his horse, suddenly grabbed its ear and said angrily, "I repeat, take a brigade, not a woman!" " "

8. Answer first-

A man went to the toilet at the rest stop of the expressway. The first room was occupied, so he entered the second room. As soon as I went to the toilet, I heard someone next door say, "Hey, what's up? Is everything all right? "

Men think it is strange to talk to people when going to the toilet, but in order not to be rude, they still try to answer: not bad! "

Then the man next door said, "What are you doing?"

The man was surprised and even more strange, but he still replied, "I'm going to Taichung on business."

Just then, he heard the man next door say, "I'll call you later." There's a psycho next to me. Every time I talk to you, he tries to answer. "

9. Between stations-

A passenger said to the flight attendant, "I'm going to Dunkas."

The flight attendant said, "This train can't stop in Kass on Tuesday, but, man, when we change tracks in Dunkas, the speed will slow down." I'll open the door, you just jump. " Although the car is not driving fast, you should follow after jumping, or you will be caught by the wheels. "

When the train arrived in Dunkas, the door opened. The man jumped off the train and galloped forward. Because he was nervous, he ran all the way to the door of the first two cars. Just then, the door opened and a flight attendant dragged him into the car again. The train resumed its normal speed.

The stewardess said, "Dude, you are so lucky. Our train doesn't stop at Dunkas on Tuesday! " "

10, kua-

A farmer boasted that his manor was very big. He said, "If I drive around my manor, it will take a week."

A listener said sympathetically, "Yes, I once had a broken car like this."

1 1, our multiplication formula is very powerful ... Several scientists met together and someone asked how much 1 1 multiplied by 1 1 equals. American scientists couldn't wait to move their feet out, and China scientists immediately replied 12 1. Then I took out my calculator and pressed it for a long time. It really is 12 1. I can't help but be surprised: damn, you are really accurate.

12. No matter what car you take, you should lean against the window. One day, he will fly. When he got his boarding pass, he told the lady that he wanted a window seat, but the lady told him that he didn't have one.

After boarding the plane, he casually found a window seat and sat down. Suddenly, a man came up and said to him, this is my seat. He said I liked this seat, but I just wouldn't let him. The man begged to no avail, so he said angrily, well, you can fly the plane! "Turn around and go!