How do college students learn to comfort others effectively?

How do college students learn to comfort others effectively?

No1. Confirm the other party’s meaning

1. Speaking skills: Is this what you just said?

·When you do not repeatedly confirm the other party’s meaning , it is easy to make mistakes when guessing what the other person means based on our own thinking habits.

·For example: When your father says: "I am really old, I have so many gray hairs." You think he is very sad about old age, but others may think that gray hair is not good-looking.

2. Correct application: understand the true meaning before comforting

·So when we are not sure what the other person means, we can ask: "What did you just mean, you Do you think teachers are a bad thing?"

·Only by providing targeted comfort can you comfort your heart: "I think gray hair can sometimes show a person's wisdom. If you really don't like it, just give it a try. Go dye it.”

No2. Open-ended inquiry

1. Words: Do you think it’s a or something else?

·We are not each other after all. If you have roundworms in your stomach, don’t regard your own thoughts as the other person’s thoughts.

·For example, if your husband's performance is not up to standard and he is sighing, you can ask him: "Dear, are you sighing because you didn't get the bonus, or is it for some other reason?"

2 , The benefits of open-ended questioning

·With an open guide, the other party will be more likely to open up the conversation. If it is a bonus, he will go along with it. If it is for other reasons, he will also speak up.

·But if you give me random comfort as soon as it comes up: isn’t it just about the bonus? The other party may have other reasons. He may feel that you don't understand him and don't want to talk.

No3. Ask the other person what they think

1. Words: I understand how you feel, what do you think next?

·Don’t put your own thoughts into words To impose on the other party, let the other party do something that we think is good for him, and give the decision-making power to the other party.

·For example, if a child wants to eat sweets, and we say no, we should eat less sugar, he will only think it is a reproach, and subconsciously retort: ??Other children eat sweets, blah blah blah.

2. Correct application: Understand the emotions and ask for ideas

·You can try to say: I understand your feeling of wanting to eat sugar, but you also know that eating sugar will damage your teeth. You are afraid of going to the dentist, so what do you think?

·In this way, we are just a guide, reminding the children what they should pay attention to, but the decision-making power is still left to the children, and the children will consider it seriously. .