A funny joke is badly needed! Interaction! Urgent! The class party can say!

The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The cash-strapped boy said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk to the front of the restaurant again."

Step 2 keep your eyes open

When my brother takes the bus, a beautiful girl always looks at him. The younger brother thought: the girl may be interested in herself, and she can't help but be flattered. The girl got off at the station. The younger brother immediately followed. The girl walked in front and looked back from time to time. The younger brother got up the courage to run forward and said humorously, "Miss, why do you always look at me?" Is there a grain of rice on my face? The girl glared at him and said, "Are you sick?" I know. I still don't wipe it. "

I'm here on business.

A man was on a business trip. When he arrived at his destination, he found that there was no parking space, so he had to park his car on the road. He left a note under the wiper that said, "I'm here on business." When I came back, I got a red ticket under the wiper, and there was a note under the note: "Me too."

Step 4 smoke

A student learned to smoke. One day, he walked out of school after school and just took out a cigarette from his pocket, only to find that the class teacher didn't know when he had stood in front of him. Seeing the teacher's eyes wide open, he trembled with fear.

The teacher roared, "Don't you dare smoke!" The students immediately threw their cigarettes on the ground.

The teacher shouted again: "Don't you dare to waste!" After listening, the students quickly picked it up from the ground and handed it to the teacher.

The teacher didn't answer and roared, "How dare you bribe!" The students quickly stuffed them into their pockets.

The teacher shouted more angrily, "Do you dare to do it again?"

The students were at a loss and cried with a "wow".

Alas! ..... poor baby ~ even the heart is dead.

5. Where did you know that?

Euler: "Mom, can I ask you a question?"

Mom: "Yes, you can."

Euler: "When I was born, where did you know my name was Euler?"

6. Best Service Award

One day, my cousin and I went to catch a bus and finally got one, but there were so many people on the bus that the front door could not be squeezed in. We had to swipe our cards at the front door and get on the bus from the back door, but there were too many people on the bus to squeeze in the back door.

So, the driver's big brother discussed with us: I'll start the car first, drive slowly, and you run behind the car. My cousin and I both wondered: What is the solution? But I can't do anything except chase the car. Seeing that the car was about ten meters away, all of a sudden, the passengers on the car couldn't stay up, all of them fell to the front of the car, and the back door suddenly gave up a big place. At this time, the driver's big brother proudly greeted us: get on the bus, get on the bus. ...

7. Rude people

A clown ran into the bank and said to the counter lady, "I want to open an account in XX!" " "

Receptionist: "No problem, sir, but you don't need to use that tone!" " "

Rude: "Can you hurry up? Help me fix this damn account, I'm anxious! "

Receptionist: "Sir, I'm not used to this tone!" " "

Rude: "Don't waste my time, can you help me get an account for XX?"

Receptionist: "Excuse me, sir, I think I should invite our manager out!" " "

Then the girl at the counter ran into the manager's office and complained to the manager. After a while, the manager comforted the young lady and came out to argue with the rude man: "It seems that there is some trouble here. Can you tell me what happened? "

Rude man: "I just want to open an account of XX and deposit the 100 million yuan lottery money I just won in XX, okay?"

The bank manager immediately pointed to the counter lady and said, "I apologize on behalf of this fool!" " "

8. SMS

As soon as the Spring Festival arrives, news about holiday blessings is overwhelming. People take the initiative to send text messages, and naturally they have to reciprocate. Quickly reply with your thumb. In the long run, the phone is hot, my fingers are sore, but my heart is warm.

After the new year, this finger will be adjusted, and if something happens, take out your mobile phone. On this day, I received the news from our leader: the year is over; People are tired of running; Spend all your money; There are fewer text messages; Nobody cares; Then go to work honestly.

Nine or seven dollars

A woman took counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The stall owner was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed. You actually took this money! " Forget drawing, to say the least. You can draw ten pieces, five pieces or seven pieces! "

10, a credible gift

A robber entered the jewelry store, pointed a pistol at the boss and said, "Give me the ring, hurry up!" " "

The boss was scared to death and handed a diamond ring. The robber looked at it carefully and roared, "I have to convince my fiancee that I bought it cheaply."

1 1, same problem.

I have a problem. He stuttered. Especially when his wife loses her temper, he stutters even more! One day, he came home drunk and found his wife staring at him like an African lion. Wife: Where have you been (angrily) Lao Yu: Peng. . Friends get together and have a few drinks! Wife: Do you know what time it is? Lao Yu: One, one o'clock! Wife: A little? Look at the clock on the wall. It's three o'clock! Lao Yu: Nonsense! It's clearly one, one! Just then, the clock on the wall rang three times, Lao Yu: strange, strange. Why has this clock become stuttering?

12, full support

A couple is in a crisis. On this day, they took their son to the zoo to play. My son is curious about the animals in the zoo and keeps asking questions. The son asked, "Mom, why are all these foxes so beautiful?" Mother said, "They are foxes, and they are all raised by men. Of course it is watery! " "The son asked again," Why is the waist of the bee so thin? "Mom said," have been philandering man choked! """Why is the monkey's ass red?" "Kissed by a fox!" "Why are the legs of rabbits not the same length?" "It always steals young grass outside and is beaten by others!" "Why does that camel have a hump on its back?" Dad, who has been silent, couldn't help it anymore and said loudly, "That's because he has nothing to do and is full!" "

13, clever director

A chief has a hobby of listening to stories. One day, he entertained his guests. At his repeated request, a foreign guest told a very interesting story:

The guest met a very pretentious person in the city. The guest said to him, "Please guess what I put in my pocket. If you guess right, I will give you half of these eggs; If you can guess the number of eggs, I will give you all ten eggs. "

The man thought for a long time and said, "friend, although I am not stupid, I can't know everything." I can't guess. "

The guest said, "Guess again, this thing is white outside and yellow inside."

"I guessed it!" The man said loudly, "It must be a pile of white radishes with a potato hidden in the middle."

Hearing this, the guests all laughed, and the chief laughed even more. Finally he asked:

"That's a fool. Dear friend, now please tell us what's in your pocket? "

14, smart daughter

Daughter: "Mom, do you like apples?"

Mom: "I like it."

Daughter: "Do you like it very much?"

Mom: "I like it very much."

Daughter: "Then don't buy me an apple."

Mom: "Why?"

Daughter: "You will eat it all on the way."

15, smart baby

Baby: "Mom, can you give me twenty dollars?"

Mom: "Go, go, don't go."

Baby: "Mom, if you give me money, I will tell you what Dad said to the maid when you went to the beauty salon."

Mom: "OK, here you are! What did he say? "

Baby: "He said,' Xiao Wang, iron this shirt for me. "

16, great shame

An English youth invited his girlfriend to a French restaurant for dinner, but he didn't know French or what was written on the menu. But he didn't want to appear ignorant in front of his girlfriend, so he pointed to a few lines on the menu and said, "Let's eat these dishes!" " The waiter looked at the menu and said, "I'm sorry, sir, this is a band performance!" " "

17, wrong number.

As soon as the lights in the cinema went out, a thief put his hand into Regal's pocket and was immediately found by Regal. The thief said, "I tried to get my handkerchief, but I was wrong." Please forgive me! " "

"It doesn't matter." Regal calmly replied.

After a while, the thief got a heavy slap with a bang.

"Sorry, wrong number, there is a mosquito on my face." Rega said.

18, hitchhiking

A naval officer stood next to the driver on the bus and didn't sit down to avoid damaging his neatly ironed uniform. A drunken man got on the bus, walked up to the police officer, pulled his sleeve and said he wanted to buy a ticket. The officer ignored him. But the drunk insisted, so the officer turned and said, "Friend, I'm not a conductor, I'm a naval officer." "Then," replied the drunk, "stop the boat. I want to take a bus. "

19, unlucky

Miss Jenny was on the night shift when she saw a man coming towards her with open hands. "Rogue!" Miss Jenny scolded and kicked the man in the stomach. With a bang, the man shouted, "Oh, my God! The third piece of glass can't be taken home! "

20. fishing; catch fish

Patrol: Fishing is prohibited here, and it will be fined 20. Fisherman: I'm not fishing, I'm teaching earthworms to swim.

Policeman: Really? Let me see.

Fisherman: Look.

Patrol: swimming naked, fined 50.