What behaviors of parents can lead to depression or suicide in their children?

Some time ago, Li Xueqin became popular because she participated in a talk show. People like her mournful look, her northeastern sense of humor, and her philosophical jokes that come out after careful reading.

After carefully savoring many of Li Xueqin’s jokes, there is a hint of sadness. This reminds me of many of Stephen Chow's films in the early years. I couldn't understand them the first time, laughed after watching them the second time, and cried after watching them the third time.

Da Zhangwei said that Li Xueqin was a genius, and Li Dan said that she was extremely talented. I think that behind her funny but philosophical jokes, there is not only the profound knowledge of Peking University, but also a sense of seeing through life that no one else has. And this may be due to the fact that she herself was a melancholic patient. Today's funny genius, once a hypochondriac

Li Xueqin was diagnosed with depression when she was a senior at Peking University.

She said that she was under a lot of pressure at that time, but her boyfriend at the time was even more pessimistic than her. When she was depressed, her boyfriend could not save her, and the two of them seemed to have a trap around each other's neck. A rope is pulling each other, trying to strangle each other to death.

When Li Xueqin's depression was at its most severe, she said she didn't know what would make her sad, and she didn't want to talk to or see anyone. She often suffers from insomnia at night, and can only fall asleep when she is extremely sleepy. She often has nightmares night after night.

Later, Li Xueqin graduated from Peking University and went to New York University for graduate school, but had to drop out of school because of depression.

When it was most serious, Li Xueqin once made three cuts on her wrist, and then bandaged herself, feeling that she should not waste time on committing suicide.

At the same time, Li Xueqin pointed out a phenomenon, that is, many top academics will suffer from depression. There are many people suffering from depression during the first and final semester of Peking University. Li Xueqin went to the Sixth Hospital of Peking University, which is the best psychiatric hospital. Peking University students can get a 10% discount on treatment there. After the 10% discount, it costs more than 200 yuan a time. Why are excellent people more likely to suffer from depression?

People who are excellent and have high demands on themselves are much more likely to suffer from depression than ordinary people. For example, the well-known host Cui Yongyuan, singer Pu Shu, entrepreneur Ren Zhengfei, etc. are all rare talents in the eyes of others and people who need to look up to, but they all have varying degrees of depression.

Taking Li Xueqin as an example, many people believe that the reason for her depression is related to her parents' divorce. Indeed, this has a certain impact, but many children whose parents divorce do not suffer from depression. Why does Li Xueqin suffer from it?

We can find out the reason from her few words. "I raised my mother." My sister said that her mother was very emotionally unstable after the divorce. She often had to cry outside the door, wipe her tears, and then return home to take good care of her mother. Li Xueqin also said that in order to prevent her parents from feeling that the divorce had affected her, she could only study hard to keep herself number one.

Judging from these two points, Li Xueqin is very demanding of herself, very responsible, or a bit pursuing perfection. It is precisely this kind of perfection that makes her life extremely stressful. Over time, it can easily lead to depression.

If we look at the experiences of celebrities such as Cui Yongyuan and Pu Shu, we will also find that they are all people who pursue perfection.

Therefore, excessive pursuit of perfection will indeed make a person excellent, but it will also bring some negative effects. As a parent, don’t set too high demands on your children

Someone asked: What kind of children are more likely to suffer from depression?

There can be many answers.

1. Sudden changes, such as the sudden death of a close relative.

2. Parents are divorced, or parents often quarrel, and children are mentally traumatized.

3. Being treated with violence, whether physical or verbal, may increase a child's risk of depression.

4. Being ignored and suppressed, such as children who have multiple children in the family, children who are not favored, children who have been suppressed and suppressed for a long time.

The above are things that many parents can easily notice or take precautions against. The reason why I want to talk about Li Xueqin’s example today is to tell parents not to place excessive demands on their children as they grow up, but to be wary of their children’s tendency toward perfectionism.

Children's "ideal self" is often created under the unconscious influence of parents. If parents always send a signal that children must be excellent, strong, independent, even kind, and considerate of others, the result of these long-term penetration will be that children set very high requirements for themselves. However, everything is too much and there is no shortcoming. Children who are too perfect are themselves "problems".

You must know that perfectionism is a double-edged sword. If used improperly, a child may become a patient with depression in the future, even if he is a top student, a celebrity, or an entrepreneur. He has reached a very high position in life.

Depression is like a bad cold. When it comes, the patient can’t help but think wildly (sneeze) and have the urge to fly out of the window (fever). , these are difficult to control when depression strikes. No, just say a few words to everyone that you are already excellent, and if you have any worries, they can be solved immediately.

We always say "nip problems in the bud". Psychological problems are often delayed reactions. It may be too late to make adjustments when children have problems. Therefore, if parents want their children to be mentally healthy and grow up happily, they must create a better family environment and provide correct guidance on their growth path.

We hope that our children are truly happy, rather than "funny geniuses" who see through everything after depression, because not everyone can survive the process of depression. In my opinion, the mournful and funny Li Xueqin is using "mourning" to protect her heart, and the melancholy "core" has not changed, but she has a lot more power to calm herself. I hope she heals herself as much as she heals others.

Let me talk about it. After all, my profession is the easiest to encounter such a situation. As a doctor who deals with depression, especially adolescent depression patients, there are indeed some group similarities, and these similarities are often the potential causes of children's depression and even suicide. What are the inappropriate behaviors of parents?

As parents, I cannot judge whether others are good or bad, but I can infer based on some of the sexual problems among the young patients with depression that I have come into contact with. Come up with the answers you want about inappropriate behaviors that contribute to children’s depression and suicide.

1. Parents are emotionally discordant, especially divorced

This is the most profound thing for me. How should I put it? Last year, we admitted several people who were still in junior high school or high school. There are several teenage patients with depression. Several girls have exactly the same characteristics, and their parents are not in harmony with each other. There was a little girl whose parents had been quarreling all year round and often yelled at the girl. Several other little girls are from single-parent families. Their parents separated early due to emotional discord, and either stayed with their father or their mother. Although the father or mother took good care of their daughters, it was obvious that they could not give their children what they needed. All emotions.

I remember that the father of a young patient did not believe that she was suffering from depression and did not agree to take her to see a doctor. So she ran to her mother’s city and asked her mother to take her to see a doctor, but her mother wanted to take care of her younger brother who was remarried. Because of this, he refused his daughter's request. As a result, the little girl almost committed suicide in a strange city.

Depressed? Not depressing? Why? They are both the biological flesh and blood of their parents. Even if a bowl of water is uneven, it shouldn't make much difference, right? Some unbalanced people can tolerate this injustice, but some people remember this feeling of helplessness more deeply, becoming more and more negative and pessimistic, leading to depression and continued depression.

3. Negative experiences in childhood

In the pathogenesis of depression, there is something called negative childhood events, which refers to the painful experiences that left the patient in childhood. An event that left a profound mark. For example, suffering from domestic violence, trauma, or family fusion in childhood.

Negative childhood events may not only cause the occurrence and development of depression, but may also cause the occurrence and development of most mental disorders including schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and dissociative conversion disorder.

Negative experiences in childhood may not only cause disease, but also often affect the formation of personality, and can easily lead to substance dependence such as alcohol dependence or drug dependence.

4. Emotional support from parents

In the example mentioned above, after suffering from depression, the patient himself had a strong desire to seek treatment, but his father did not believe it at first and did not approve of the so-called Depression, the mother rejected her daughter in a foreign land on the grounds of taking care of her younger brother who was remarried. When a girl needs the emotional support of her parents the most, both parents choose not to support their daughter, so the girl develops a strong sense of helplessness and despair, and then impulsively commits suicide.

Therefore, diagnosed patients who lack emotional support from their families are prone to despair and suicidal behavior. Depression in teenagers has been on the rise in recent years, and it has something to do with our society, and of course with the family of origin. In order to let your children have a healthy childhood and a healthy mental state, Should our parents make some changes?

I am studying social work with adolescents and have seen many cases. A teenager's psychological and physical growth is closely related to his family of origin. The first socialization place for children is their family of origin. The influence that parents have on their children is huge.

In childhood, if parents always abuse and beat their children regardless of the occasion and without justification, and arbitrarily belittle their children in front of outsiders, the children will lack self-confidence and think that nothing they do is right. , in the process of growing up, they become more and more inferior and doubt themselves more and more. When they grow up, their self-esteem gradually becomes insufficient, and the inferiority complex will lead to depression or suicide.

Adolescence is an important period of human socialization. At this time, the world outlook, values, and outlook on life are gradually formed and require the support of family and school. In the family, parents always compare themselves with others, fail to see the advantages of their children, and put too much pressure on their children to study. The children cannot feel the love from the family, or they do not trust their children and are indifferent to their children. The existence of parents has become a source of unhappiness for children, and family gradually becomes dispensable to children. This will make growing teenagers gradually feel inferior, lose hope in life, become more and more depressed, and gradually tend to become depressed or commit suicide. There are 4 behaviors of parents in upbringing that can easily lead to depression or suicide in their children.

A while ago, videos of parents yelling while tutoring their children with homework were posted everywhere on the Internet. There were various echoes in the comment area, and even some Some parents say that if they keep an eye on their children, they will be successful. It is difficult for anxious parents to raise mentally healthy children. Don't bring your emotions to your children. They have not grown up yet and need more patient care. Life is a one-way street. You only get to grow up with your children once, and there is no chance to do it again. The most expensive thing about trial and error is wrong upbringing. When misfortune happens to any family, it is an unbearable pain for parents.

The following four main behaviors of parents can easily lead to depression in their children. In severe cases, children will hurt themselves and give up their lives.

This epidemic is the longest cold period in history, and children spend especially long time with their parents. Families with good parent-child relationships often cherish this rare time together. If you feel particularly painful in the process of raising your children, it must be because of the wrong education methods. A harmonious family and good parent-child relationship are the best gifts for children in childhood.

It is so heavy to reach the level of depression or suicide. I have never studied medicine and I really can’t do anything about it. Just treat it as small talk.

I have personal experience. Last year, a relative chose extreme behavior to end his journey on earth [crying] [crying] [crying] We were unexpected. Later, after analysis by our circle of relatives, he was suffering from long-term illness. Unspeakableness was a factor. The problem was that my relatives were once members of the People's Liberation Army of China. According to my father, it was impossible to follow this path after being trained by the army. It would be tantamount to desertion.

So why are we still doing it? We kept thinking about his past and present and found clues. The cold war in the family was the biggest factor. Due to various complex reasons, he became a marginalized person at home and had no sense of existence. He may have been suffering from depression for a long time. . In fact, we visited the hospital several times, and he was the only one lying alone. Only the nanny happened to look at him [cover face] [cover face] [cover face] When a person's mental depression reaches the critical point, the physical pain is nothing. Well, if you are afraid of survival, then ending yourself is the so-called liberation. There is no greater sorrow than the death of one's heart.

Back to this question, the relationship between parents and children is nothing more than this. The immediate problem for children is the control of freedom. As for their future, academic future, etc., that is what their parents want. In fact, they don’t understand that much about ignorant teenagers. The thoughts of us adults cannot replace them, so we are guiding them. The only way to return is to take advantage of the situation instead of being arrogant?

So I would like to ask the Lord to discuss what behaviors of parents lead to depression or suicide in their children? I think parents have gone too far and forgotten the nature of minors. Develop study plans based on adult thinking, set achievement goals, stipulate implementation rules, and follow up with tightness, urgency, and strictness. Children in this kind of family atmosphere have lived in a "balloon" since they were sensible, blowing it up all the time, never knowing which day it will burst, because even the parents almost forget to stop blowing it. And their children regard a happy family as a luxury. This is very sad [Slap in the face] [Slap in the face] [Slap in the face] They think that they are not themselves, they are just living for their terrible parents, just like the cartoon "Nezha" they watched when they were children, and they finally couldn't bear it anymore Cut off the bones to give back to the father, cut off the flesh to give back to the mother. They think wildly all day long and can't stop even if they don't want to. How can parents stop when they have so many unfinished plans? The brain has been moving at a high speed for a long time, and various physical disorders have come one after another, such as sweaty palms, irregular heartbeat, sensitivity, despair, etc.; I started with a little hope, maybe my parents would be happy and take me to the park or something, but hope The greater the disappointment, the more I feel that I have no sense of existence, so I use self-mutilation to make myself feel pain, and regard the pain as a fact of existence. My relative often does this, tearing his skin [covering his face] [covering his face] Face][Hold face] But his wife and son actually said "pervert" and didn't take it seriously.

If a person is dull and abnormal to a certain extent, it is probably a sign of depression. If the giver does not pay attention to it and alleviate it, the balloon will eventually explode. Then the melancholic is liberated. In their philosophy, melancholy means seeing through life and death and transcending oneself. What's the use of leaving those around you who are still alive with only regret? They have all gone with the wind. Even if the dead pessimists still have spirits, they would not bother to see the sorrow and tears of the living. Alas!

The topic is too heavy, so let’s leave it at that.

It turns out that I have met such a child. She is already suffering from severe depression. When chatting with me, she always mentions her parents in disgust, and she always hopes that her parents will divorce. , she especially doesn’t want to go home and live with her parents.

Later, when I talked with her, I discovered that she didn’t like her parents. It turned out that her depression was directly related to her parents.

She told me that she basically had no say at home. Her parents were very domineering. From childhood, as long as her parents said it, she had to do it and could not refute it, as long as her parents asked her to do it. , she can do it, and she will definitely not do anything she is not allowed to do. Once she does it, it will be wrong.

She gave me an example. When she was about to enter high school, her parents had already begun to plan her future life. She told her parents that she would go to an art school in the future. , did not want to go to an ordinary university. Her mother said that she wanted her to go to normal school and become a teacher after she graduated. Her father wanted her to go to a foreign language college and work as a translator after she graduated. Because of this issue, her parents kept arguing. Moreover, the constant quarrels over this issue made the family restless. She was really fed up and didn't want to stay at home any longer.

She was very embarrassed about this, and she did not adjust until her senior year of high school. Finally, she entered a normal college, but she was not happy at all and had no interest in anything after four years of school. , I always feel that my life is boring. Finally, I discovered that I had depression.

Sometimes when she chats with me, I can feel that she is very abnormal. She is either depressed or sad, and even her expressions are very negative.

Because we are friends, I would also advise her to be more open-minded, but she told me that she would not be happy unless her parents were gone.

It seems that sometimes parents’ words and deeds do have a great impact on their children, especially parents’ thoughts, which can have a subversive effect on their children’s lives. Don't deny your children easily, don't use your own way of thinking to guide your children's lives, and don't impose your own wishes and preferences on your children. These are the root causes of depression in children.

What do you think?

Parents who favor sons over daughters and speak harshly can directly lead to children committing suicide.

A classmate of mine in junior high school, named Qiu Hongxia, is a docile girl with a weak temper, but very friendly to others. Just because she is a daughter, she is not taken seriously by her parents. She has to figure out her own way to pay for tuition every year. Moving here and there, her father said, what is the purpose of a girl studying so much and not being able to make a living?

That year, she failed the college entrance examination and begged her parents to let her repeat her studies for another year. However, her stubborn father refused to agree, saying that with the money, it would be better to save it for her brother to build a house and get a wife. , they had to force her to go out to work, but she refused, and her irritable father said harsh words to her, even punched and kicked her. Although her mother loved her, she was afraid of her husband's power, so she could only cry secretly and persuade her daughter not to have a dispute with her father. .

One night in the midsummer of that year, the weak classmate packed her luggage. When her father saw that she was finally obedient, he breathed a sigh of relief, showed a rare smile and said to her, You can't spend much money outside. Once your salary is paid, send it back as soon as possible and save it for your brother.

She nodded silently and told her parents that she would not spend a penny of the family's money. Seeing that she was so sensible, her parents went to rest.

When the next morning, the mother saw that she hadn’t gotten up yet, so she went to call her. She was frightened: her daughter’s head was tilted to one side, there was foam at the mouth, and she shouted loudly, but it was already too late. Sorry, my daughter’s hands have become cold at some point!

Poor and honest girl, why are you so stupid? My mother was crying and shouting, but she couldn't hear her anymore!

Life is precious, no matter what you do, you cannot commit suicide!

"Fortunate people are healed by childhood throughout their lives; unfortunate people are healed by childhood throughout their lives."

According to my personal experience, there are three "don'ts": I would like to share it with you here:

1. Try to find a way to solve something when something happens, and you should not argue in front of your children.

When parents and family quarrel, the child is still young and cannot distinguish right from wrong, but emotionally he will lean towards the side that is usually good to him. As they grow older and face this kind of situation again, children will realize that only the weaker party deserves sympathy. This is a process that leaves a shadow.

In this process, the child's body and mind become depressed, rebellious, and even distorted by the noise.

If you notice that your child's words and behaviors are different from those of normal children, please seek psychological assistance as soon as possible. Because the character has not been finalized yet, it can be changed in time.

At this time, parents should avoid quarrels and create a peaceful family atmosphere so that children can feel calm and warm.

Parents, please remember: quarreling will only increase conflicts, and discussing how to solve the problem is the key.

2. You should not let your emotions affect your family.

Many parents work hard and get angry when they get home. People at home also feel uncomfortable after hearing this, and the conflict escalates.

We often talk about being considerate of each other. What is consideration? People at home understand the hard work of going out to make money, and people who make money understand that people at home have to face many complicated and trivial things.

Everyone has his own difficulties and hardships. Long live understanding. In this way, the atmosphere at home can become better.

Never think that children are still young and do not understand so much, no matter how young they are, they still have the ability to perceive. Don’t believe it? If you try to make a loud noise in front of a baby who is a few months old, the baby will definitely cry instead of laugh.

Children’s minds are sensitive and fragile. Panic and fear overlap, which can cause inexplicable anxiety. They want to escape the atmosphere that scares them, and they will become depressed over time.

3. When a child does something wrong, you should not beat or scold him immediately, but understand the reason clearly, find out the truth and provide guidance.

When a child does something wrong, he must be very scared. At this time, if parents first understand the reason before deciding whether to punish, the child will be convinced.

If the child is beaten before talking about it without asking the reason, the child will feel rebellious: he will be beaten regardless of whether he says anything, so why not say anything at all. This will form a habit, you can survive the beating, and the next time you make a mistake, it won't be a big deal.

This is the reason why some children refuse to change despite repeated admonitions and become more and more stubborn the more they are beaten.

To educate children, you must first be a reasonable person before you can teach them to understand the truth. It is a failure of parents to educate children after venting their emotions.

Some parents are used to putting on airs and not getting close to their children. Little do they know that this is the greatest tragedy. Parents and children can communicate with him like a friend and understand the child's voice.

In fact, there are many examples. Children raised by gentle parents are often sensible, while children from often noisy families are generally emotional.

Many times, we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and don’t do to others what we don’t want others to do to us.

Let me talk about my personal experience here: I grew up in a complicated family. The relationship between my mother, my grandfather, and my aunt was not very good. Every time there was a noise at home, I would hide aside and tremble, feeling helpless and scared.

At that time, I had no happiness, only panic; no encouragement, only scolding, and every day felt like a year. I envied the birds flying in the sky, free and without quarrels...

Gradually, I lost my smile. At that time, I must have been depressed and often wanted to leave this world. I once tried to cut my wrist with a razor blade, but then I felt scared and stopped the bleeding myself. The scar is still very clear.

When I was eighteen years old, my first love died unexpectedly. The last straw was gone. I felt lifeless. I took a bottle of sleeping pills and lay quietly... The life that was saved was exhausted. Diagnosed with severe depression. Then I saw the doctor and took medicine, until now.

I know that the departure of my first love was just the trigger. I have always been depressed.

My words and deeds once affected my child, and she told her good friend that she was unhappy. After I learned about it, I deeply reflected that my childhood was already very unfortunate, and I could not let my children suffer as well. Now, she is a happy and healthy child.

This is the true words of a person who has been there: Parents passing by can take a look. I sincerely hope that my suggestions can help you and let your children grow up happily. Conclusion: Children are not only the continuation of life, but also people for whom we are willing to sacrifice everything. Our greatest wish is for our children to be physically and mentally healthy and grow up happily. When you feel like your emotions are about to explode, think about the original intention and consequences. Learning to control your emotions is a required course for us as parents.

Let me share my thoughts on what behaviors of parents can lead to depression or suicide in their children.

If a child is lively and lovely from birth, then the child must be a sunny child. He will gradually develop his own ideas in life, whether in study or other aspects. Because a certain parent of a family member Or the mother is too strong and interferes in everything the child does, forcing the strong parent's ideas on the child. In such a family atmosphere, over time, it will inevitably cause serious pressure on the child's mind. The child's ideas are suppressed by the parent and cannot be realized. Slowly, the child He becomes depressed and even commits suicide.

Therefore, parents should stand from the perspective of their children, listen more to their children's ideas and encourage them more. Parents should also learn to let their children realize their ideals when they are older and it is time to let them go. Parents can only Doing so can avoid the tragedy of depression or suicide in your child.

Parents who are not motivated and use various words or actions to force their children to be number one should easily lead to depression in their children.

The girl has been very well-behaved and diligent since she was a child, but she has a timid personality and has low self-esteem.

The girl’s parents are also ordinary farmers. Although their family conditions are not particularly good, they are above average in the village.

The girl has only one younger brother, so logically speaking, they should be a very happy family.

But the girl’s mother is very fierce and cannot bear any loss. If someone says something against her, she will definitely say something back.

As for the girl’s father, he grew up alone without any brothers or sisters, and his parents died early. Before he became independent, he always ate the food of hundreds of families.

For this reason, he has always been particularly sensitive and has low self-esteem. He feels that he is not as good as others, that he is not as happy as others, that his family is not as happy as others, that his wife is not as virtuous as others, and that his children are not as good as others. Excellent.

In our memory, every time we see the girl’s father, he never smiles and always sighs. The neighbors are very puzzled. Obviously their family is living a good life, but it is more difficult than them. There are many families, but few look as sad as him every day.

Ever since the girl was a child, she has often been seen working. Similarly, she has often heard quarrels in her family, which were nothing more than the girl's parents quarreling over trivial matters.

Her mother is inherently aggressive. As long as the girl’s father mumbles a few words, her mother will make a loud noise for a long time. When her father gets tired of eating, he will start throwing tables and bowls. I heard that pot Several were smashed.

Girls usually tidy up carefully, but if any action angers her father, her father will either scold her with vicious words or kick her directly.

Every time at this time, the girl's mother would start a new round of abuse against her and her father.

When the girl was in the third or fourth grade of elementary school, she was joking and walking with a male classmate in the village on the way home from school. Unexpectedly, her mother saw her and her mother yelled at her and sent her home. , she was called shameless at home. From then on, the girl had an inexplicable fear of the opposite sex and no longer had any communication with any opposite sex, which directly affected her future marriage.

As for her father, he scolds her almost every day. For example, if her brother grabs something from her and she refuses to give it to him, and her brother starts to cry, her father will directly scold her and she only knows how to bully her brother. , if you have the ability to bully outsiders.

When she was in middle school, the girl entered adolescence and didn’t like to deal with people. Every time she passed someone at the door, her father would see her not saying hello to others and would scold her mercilessly for being stupid. He's stupid and can't even speak.

The neighbor borrowed her hoe and never returned it. The girl's father was too embarrassed to ask for it, so he asked the girl to ask for it. When the girl didn't want to go, her father pointed at her nose and scolded her for "feeding a child." It’s better for a daughter to have a dog. Other people’s children will know how to borrow and return things at a certain age.”

The girl’s academic performance is getting worse and worse. Every time her score comes down, she dare not go home because if her score drops by a few points, she will be beaten several times. There were several times in winter. The neighbor saw the girl hiding in the wheat straw at the door of the house with her test paper and did not dare to come in.

When she was in high school, the girl almost didn’t want to go out. I heard that she didn’t talk to anyone at school and seemed very numb. When she was at home, when her parents scolded her, she seemed completely lost. Heard the same.

When she was in her second year of high school, her teacher advised her to drop out of school and ask her parents to spend more time with her and go back to school after a while, but her father immediately drove her and the people in the village to go out to work.

Later, when she worked outside, she rarely came home. Her parents said that she had no conscience when they met the neighbors every day, and they didn’t even call her for half a year.

When she was about thirty years old, the girl seemed to have only gone home no more than five times, and she could still hear the quarrels in her family every time. The difference was that the girl no longer had to worry about the quarrels between her parents. If you hold back, you will quarrel with them.

In the past few years, it seems that I have found an in-law and got married outside, but I still don’t come home very often. I heard from my son that she wrote a paragraph on Mother’s Day in her circle of friends, which was probably for her mother. I don’t have much emotion. I feel depressed all the time when I am with my parents. Now I just want to escape.

Depression should be caused by many reasons. I think the family relationship is the most direct and fatal. Between parents and children, love must not be allowed to change, or kidnapped in the name of love. each other.

For parents, the most inappropriate behavior is to force their children to do things that they cannot do, and let their children complete tasks that adults are not capable of completing. Are you embarrassed?