Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - English stories are badly needed.
English stories are badly needed.
Narrator: A long time ago, there was an idiot. His name is Billy. He is so stupid that he has no friends. He is always alone, but he likes to go to the forest. There are many animals there. One day, this idiot went to the forest. There are birds, deer and rabbits beside him. Suddenly, a genius pounced on him.
Fool: Hi! The music is great. Will you please teach me? A fool petitioned
Genie: All right! No problem. But I'm hungry now. The elves are hungry.
Fool: Wait a minute! Here you are! The fool took out the bread.
Elf: ~ ~ Yummy! Thank you! My name is puck. Nice to meet you. Elves make delicious and satisfying. The genie took off her hat to show her kindness.
Fool: My name is Billy. Nice to meet you.
Elf: Do you like it?
Genie: Come on, follow me. Let me show you something. The genie began to teach fools to play the flute.
Fool: This tree?
Genie: Yes! Go! Go!
Fool: Wow! What a lovely duck.
Genie: You can have it. This is a gift for you.
Fool: Thank you very much. The fool was very surprised when he took out the crow.
Next music (Rhapsody in the Forest) ※
Fools leave happily with baskets and crows, elves and animals.
The second part of the scene: the palace (props: chairs, city walls,) (props: spears, drums, medicine boxes, stethoscopes)
The princess is sitting on the stage.
◎ The king walked around blankly ◎ The princess was expressionless and bored. The king was very afraid and anxious.
Dialogue (characters: king, queen, princess, bodyguard, doctor)
King: Smile! Smile, please.
King: Oh, my poor little girl. Why do you never laugh? What's the matter with you?
Queen: Please don't worry about my dear. I have a good idea. Where is the doctor?
King: Oh, yes! Doctor! Doctor! Hurry up! Hurry up!
Western medicine: Your Majesty! The princess is fine.
TCM: Sorry. Maybe she is just unhappy.
King: Go away and never come here again.
Queen: No! I don't believe it. What should we do?
King: All right! All right! Don't cry. Anyway, I'll do my best.
◎ The king swore to heaven ◎ Exit: The king made the queen cry, the princess was indifferent, and the guards were magnificent.
Part III Scene: Street (props: vegetable basket, flower basket, fruit basket, city wall, crow, flute)
Next piece of music (Turkish March) ※
◎ The streets are bustling with people.
Dialogue: Characters: (3 passers-by, guards, fools, elves)
Narrator: There are many people in this street, which is very noisy.
Guard: Attention, please! Please pay attention!
If someone can make our princess laugh, he can marry her. Our holy king will never regret it!
Fool: The princess is so beautiful. She is the girl of my dreams.
Passerby Zheng: Look at him! Such a dirty person. He wants to marry our princess.
Passerby: Don't be silly. It's impossible.
Fool: Yes ... they are right. How can I get her? This is just a dream.
Genie: Don't be sad, my friend. Trust me, you will succeed.
Passerby Pan: Gee, this duck is so cute. May I have a look? Oh ~ the duck is stuck to my hand. I can't put it down. Somebody help me.
Lu Wenren: Calm down! I'm coming!
Passerby Zheng: I'm coming! I'm coming!
The fourth part of the scene: props inside and outside the palace: (guards, flutes, city walls)
Music (Rhapsody in the Forest) The king and his party stood on the wall, and the elves led a group of people to the stage. ※
The princess couldn't help laughing, and the queen was very happy.
Dialogue: (fool, king, queen, princess, elf)
Kim: This is the noise that happened.
Princess: Very funny.
Queen: Look! She's smiling. My child is laughing.
King: Thank God! Take this man in.
Guard: Yes, my Lord.
King: You turned my daughter into a spy. What do you want?
I can give you everything you want.
Fool: Well ... I think ... (explain or correct what I just said) I mean ... if you don't mind. ...
Genie: Please keep your promise.
Queen: Wait a minute! No, I don't agree. He is poor and stupid.
King: Let me see.
Princess: My dear father! If you regret it, maybe I will never laugh in my life.
King: OK! All right! Please don't do it again. My sweetheart.
Fool: Will you marry me?
Princess: Yes, I do.
Genie: Great. I hold you: believe me, you can do it.
Narrator: So they got married.
Reply: Yimeng Qing Xue-Jianghu Entry Level 2 3- 1 1 15:00.
Here are two for you.
The first article in the air (humorous joke)
"Let's go to the market, Matt," said his wife. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought for a moment. He knew that he would have to spend money in the market. Finally he said, "OK, but I'm not going to spend too much money. We will look at things, but we will not buy things. "
They went to the market and saw everything they wanted to buy. Matt's wife wants to buy a lot of things, but he won't let her spend money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small plane.
"Interesting flight!" The notice said, "10 minutes 10 dollars."
Matt has never been on an airplane. He wants to have an interesting flight. However, he doesn't want to pay for his wife either.
"I only have 10 dollars," he said to the pilot. "Can my wife accompany me for free?" The pilot couldn't sell many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a deal with you." If your wife doesn't scream or shout, she can fly freely. "
Matt agreed and boarded the plane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his plane do all kinds of things. For a moment, it flew backwards.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "well, your wife didn't make a sound." She can ride for free. "
"Thank you," Matt said. "You know, it's not easy for her, especially when she falls out."
The second leaf comes from heaven (fable, followed by translation and new words)
An angel is flying in the clear and pure sky with a flower picked from the paradise garden. When he kissed the flower, a small leaf fell off the flower and fell into the soft soil in the middle of the forest. It immediately takes root, germinates and shoots in other plants.
"What a ridiculous little shot!" One said. "No one will recognize it; Even thistles or nettles. "
"This must be a garden plant," said another; Therefore, they laughed at and despised this plant and thought it was something in the garden.
"Where are you going?" Said the thistle with thorns on its leaves. "It is foolish to allow yourself to shoot in this way; We are not here to support you. "
When winter comes, the plants are covered with snow, but the snow shines on it, as if there is sunshine below and above it.
Spring has come, and this plant is in full bloom: more beautiful than any other plant in the forest. Now that the professor of botany has appeared, he can explain his knowledge in black and white. He examines and tests the plant, but it doesn't belong to his botanical system, and he can't find out what kind it belongs to. "This must be some degraded species," he said; "I don't know, no system mentioned it."
"No system knows!" Thistle and nettle repeated.
The trees around it saw the plant and heard these words, but they didn't say a good word or a bad word, which is the wisest plan for those ignorant people.
A poor and innocent girl walks through the forest; Her heart is pure, and her understanding grows with her faith. Her main legacy is an ancient Bible, which she reads and cherishes. From the book, she heard the voice of God talking to her, telling her to remember what Joseph's brothers said when someone wanted to hurt her. "They imagined evil in their hearts, but God turned it into good." If we are wronged, misunderstood or despised, we must think that he is pure and sacred. He prayed for those who crucified him, "Father, forgive them, because they don't know what they are doing."
The girl stood quietly in front of this wonderful plant, because the green leaves gave off a sweet and fresh fragrance, the flowers sparkled in the sun, like colored flames, and sweet sounds lingered around them, as if every sound was hidden in her heart, a melody that could not be exhausted for thousands of years. With pious gratitude, the girl looked at this masterpiece of God and bent down. On a branch, she might check flowers and inhale sweet perfume. Then, she suddenly understood that her heart had expanded. She is happy to pick a flower, but she can't overcome her unwillingness to fold one. She knew it would fade quickly; So she just took a green leaf, took it home and put it in her Bible. It will always be green, fresh and never fade. A few weeks later, when the Bible was placed under the young girl's head in her coffin, it was still lying between the pages of the Bible. A sacred peace fell on her face, as if the remains of the world carried the imprint of the truth that she now stood before God.
In the forest, this wonderful plant continued to bloom until it grew into a tree, and all the migratory birds bowed before it.
"There is no doubt that the plant is foreign," said the thistle and burdock. "In this country, we can never do that." The black forest snail really spat at that flower.
Then the swineherd came; He is collecting thistles and shrubs and burning them to ashes. He uprooted this wonderful plant and put it in his bag. "It would be useful," he said; So the plants were transported away.
Soon after, the king of this country suffered from the worst depression. He works hard, but work is not good for him. They read him profound and learned books, and then read the most relaxed and trivial books they could find, but it was useless. Then they asked a wise man in the world for advice. He sent them a message that there was a medicine that could relieve and cure him. This is a plant from heaven, which grows in the forest of the king's own territory. The messenger described the flower so that its appearance would not be mistaken.
The swineherd said, "I'm afraid I tied this plant in a bag and took it out of the forest. It has already burned to ashes. But I don't know anything better. "
"You don't know, better! Really ignorant and ignorant! "
The poor swineherd took these words to heart because they were addressed to him. He doesn't know that there are other people who are equally ignorant. Not even a leaf of this plant can be found. There is one, but it lies in the coffin of the dead; No one knows about it.
Then the king strolled to that place in the Woods with his melancholy. "This is the position of plants," he said; "This is a sacred place." Then he ordered that this place should be surrounded by golden railings and stationed near it.
The professor of botany wrote a long paper about this kind of plant in the sky, for which he won a lot of gold, which improved the status of himself and his family.
And this part is really the most enjoyable part of the story. Because the plant has disappeared, the king is still as melancholy and sad as before, but the sentry says he has always been like this.
I. Reference version (reference translation)
In the thin and fresh air, there is an angel flying high in the garden with a flower in the air. When she kissed the flower, a small petal fell to the wet ground in the Woods. Petals immediately took root and sprouted in many other plants. "This is really a funny clip." Other plants said. Neither thistle nor nettle knows.
"This must be a plant that grows in the garden!" They said, and let out a sneer. They thought it was a plant in the garden and made fun of it. But it is different from other plants; It has been growing. It stretches its long branches in all directions. "Where are you going?" Said the tall thistle. Every leaf of it is covered with thorns. "You take up too much space! This is outrageous! We can't support you! "
Winter is coming; Snow covered the plants. However, there is light on the snow layer, as if the sun were shining from below. In spring, this plant blooms; It is more beautiful than any plant in the forest.
Then came a botany professor. He has many degrees to show his identity. He took a look at the plant and then examined it. But he found that there was no such thing in his plant system. He can hardly classify. "It's a variant!" He said. "I don't know, it doesn't belong to any discipline!" "Don't belong to any discipline!" Thistle and nettle said. Many trees around have heard these words. They also see that this plant does not belong to their system. But they said nothing, nothing bad or good. This is the cleverest way for a fool.
At this moment, a poor innocent girl walked through the Woods. Her heart is pure; Because she is confident, she has a strong understanding. All her possessions are just an old Bible, but she hears the voice of God on every page: If someone wants to do bad things to you, you should remember the story of Yue Se-"They think bad things in their hearts, but God turns them into the best things." If you are wronged, misunderstood or insulted, just remember God: He is the purest and kindest person. He prayed for those who laughed at him and crucified him: "Father, please forgive them, they don't know what they are doing!" " "
The girl stood in front of this strange plant-its green leaves gave off a sweet and fresh fragrance, and its flowers sparkled like fireworks in the sun. Every flower exudes a kind of music, as if there is a musical spring in it, which can't last for thousands of years. The girl looked at these beautiful creations of the creator with pious feelings. She tore off a branch, looked at the flowers on it and smelled the flowers. Her heart relaxed and she felt a kind of happiness. She wants to pick a flower, but she can't bear to break it because it will wither. She just picked a green leaf. She took it home and put it in the Bible. The leaves in this book are always fresh and will never wither. Leaves are hidden in the Bible. A few weeks later, when the girl was lying in the coffin, the Bible was under her head. Her quiet face showed a solemn and pious expression after death, as if her earthly body showed that she was now before God.
But that strange plant is still in full bloom in the Woods. It will grow into a tree soon. Many migratory birds, especially storks and swallows, fly here and bow their heads in front of it. "This thing is already a bit foreign!" Thistle and burdock said. "Our native plants have never looked like this!" Black snails have actually vomited mucus on this plant.
Then a swineherd came. He is collecting nettles and vines in order to burn them to ashes. This strange plant was also uprooted and tied in a bundle of firewood. "Call it useful!" He said, and at the same time he did it.
But the monarch of this country has been suffering from severe depression for many years. He is busy and diligent, but it doesn't help his illness. People read him profound books, or read some of the most relaxing books in the world, but it is not good for his illness. People ask the smartest person in the world who sent a messenger. The messenger told everyone that there is only one prescription that can alleviate and cure the king's disease. "In the king's territory, there is a tree growing out of the forest sky. Its shape is such that people will never make mistakes. " There is also a diagram about this plant, which anyone can recognize at a glance. "It's green in winter or summer. People just need to pick a fresh leaf every night and put it on the king's forehead, then the king's mind will become fresh, he will have a beautiful dream at night and be refreshed the next day. " This explanation is clear enough. All the doctors and botany professors went to the Woods-yes, but where is this plant?
"I think I threw it into the firewood!" The swineherd said, "It has burned to ashes. I don't know anything else! " "You don't know!" Everyone said with one voice. "Oh, stupid! Stupid! You are so great! " The swineherd may feel very sad to hear this, because it is only for him. They didn't even find a leaf. The only leaf was hidden in the coffin of the dead girl, and no one knew about it.
So the king himself went to that place in the Woods in great depression. "That plant once grew here!" He said. "This is a sacred place!" So a golden railing was erected around this land. There is a sentry standing guard here day and night.
The professor of botany wrote a paper about this aerial plant. He won a medal for this paper. This is a very pleasant thing for him, and it is also suitable for him and his family.
In fact, this is the most interesting part of the whole story, because the plants are gone. The king is still depressed and depressed. "But he has always been like this." Said the sentry.
New words and phrases
Plucking, plucking
Step 2 sprout, shoot
Laugh at, laugh at
vicious
5. (Ancient) Brother, referring to Yue Se.
Swine
7. melancholy; Melancholy
Rule, territory
9. Guards
10. monograph
Answer: Hedgehog Feed-Great Magician Level 9 3-115: 08
How does a pony cross the river?
One day, a pony took a bag of wheat to the mill. When he ran with his schoolbag on his back, he came to a small river. The pony can't decide whether he can cross it. Looking around, he saw a cow grazing nearby. He asked, "Aunt Niu, can you tell me if I can cross the river?" The cow told him that he could. The river was not very deep, only knee high.
The pony was crossing the river when a squirrel jumped down from the tree and stopped him. The squirrel shouted, "Colt, stop!" You'll drown! A friend of mine drowned in the river yesterday. " The pony didn't know what to do, so she went home and asked her mother.
He told his mother about his experiences on the road. His mother said, "My child, don't always listen to others. You'd better try it yourself. Then you will know what to do. " Later, by the river, the squirrel stopped the pony again. "Pony, it's too dangerous!" "No, I want to try it myself," replied the pony. Then he crossed the river carefully.
You see, real knowledge comes from practice.
Chinese translation:
Pony across the River
One day, a pony carried wheat to the mill. When he ran forward with his bag on his back, he suddenly found a small river blocking his way. Pony is in trouble. What can we do? He looked around and saw a cow grazing by the river. The pony asked, "Aunt Niu, please tell me, can I cross the river?" The cow replied, "The water is very shallow, just knee-deep."
The pony was about to cross the river when a squirrel jumped down from the tree and stopped it, shouting, "Pony, don't cross the river!" " You will drown. Yesterday, one of my partners drowned in this river! "The pony didn't know what to do, so he decided to go home and ask his mother.
The pony told her mother about the experience on the road. Mother said, "son, it is not enough to listen to others." Try it yourself and you will know the answer. " The pony returned to the river and was about to get into the water when the squirrel shouted again, "Pony, are you going to die?" The pony said, "Let me try it myself." As he answered, he got off the river and waded carefully.
See, only practice can achieve true knowledge.
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