On the Possibility of Blame —— On Xu Yuanchong's Translation of Ma Zhiyuan's Tianjingsha Qiu Si

I remember writing an article about Fu Lei's translation, which attracted criticism from several translators. I want to comment on another famous artist today, so I simply write the title of the article as "comment that may be scolded"

After reading the Chinese Poetry Conference last night, I didn't have time to browse in QQ space, and I stumbled across this word in a teacher's space. The translator is the famous Mr. Xu Yuanchong, and I think his translation is debatable. Of course, I only comment on what I know. You are welcome to criticize and correct me.

Tianjin Sha Qiu Si Ma Zhiyuan (Yuan)

Tune: sunny beach

melancholy autumn thoughts

Xu Yuanchong (translated)

Withered vines hang on old branches, and crows croak when they return at dusk.

Crows are flying in the old tree entangled with rotten vines.

Tiny bridge,flowing brook,hamlet homes

Under a small bridge near the hut, a small stream flows.

The path, the horses and the wind are blowing.

West wind ancient road, thin horse line

The sun is sinking in the west

The sun sets in the west;

And lovesick travelers are still at the end of the world.

People who are far away from home are heartbroken

To tell the truth, seeing this translation, I feel that xu teacher's understanding of the word Ma Zhiyuan is not thorough enough. Perhaps in the eyes of many people, I am a little-known woman, and I am so ignorant to criticize a celebrity! Ladies and gentlemen, please put aside your reputation and position, and take your knowledge objectively and seriously. Listen to next time first.

1. The inscription is entitled "Tianjingsha". To tell the truth, I really don't know the origin of the translation of "Xiangyang Sha". Is it because the word "sunny" is equivalent to "sunny" that the word "sunny" is used? But how can Sha Qing? It is better to use the pinyin Jing Tian Sha directly, and then add a note at the end of the whole translation to tell you that Tianjingsha is a musical name. The name of a tune is also a name, just like a person's name. You just need to call it that, and you don't need a translator. Perhaps, many people think it is inappropriate to mix Chinese and English together, which makes us look down on ourselves. Why can English characters appear in Chinese text, but Chinese characters cannot appear in English text? Moreover, a pinyin in Chinese can represent many words, and the original Chinese name of Qupai can avoid guessing.

2.Kuteng's translation of "Ku" is debatable. Rot is decay, not withering. Besides, since it's rotten, how can it get entangled in the tree? And now it's autumn, and the vines only wither, not rot. Therefore, "withering" is only withering, and the translation of "withering" is more appropriate.

3. Even doubt its words. The word "nightingale" originally refers to birds that return to their nests at dusk, and is not named "nightingale". Besides, writing crow here has another meaning. The raven still has a nest to return to in the old tree, but it is difficult for tourists to return. Therefore, it is not appropriate to put dusk directly in front of crows. You can use home to point out the meaning of homing; The homing time is at night, and the adverbial of time is secondary.

Is it better to translate "people" into houses or families? I think a family is better. Seeing that other people's homes have lit candles, the wanderer is even more homesick. This "home" and "crow" have different meanings.

5. "Lean" is not appropriate. Thin means less fat and more lean meat; Thin here means "thin" implicitly, and it is appropriate to use skinny or thin.

As for "Qiu Si", I know it means "sad autumn", but it is not easy to translate. Therefore, I won't comment for the time being.

I feel that xu teacher's interpretation of the original words is somewhat limited to the literal meaning and does not understand the deep meaning; The use of English words is also limited to literal meaning, which can not reach the understanding meaning. So the translator lost his old gentleman's level. This is inevitable for everyone. Didn't our ancestors say long ago that "people don't know the taste until they eat and drink"?

The above said the literal meaning, let's talk about understanding the meaning.

When it comes to understanding the meaning, I think it is easier to understand that "the old vine cries faintly and the small bridge flows". But have you ever wondered whether the "thin horse with an ancient road and a westerly wind" is the image that travelers see, or whether travelers ride on horses themselves? I think the latter is more likely. If this is the former understanding, then this sentence is just a picture you see, and there must be a sense of distance in the emotional voice; If it is the latter understanding, the rider is the traveler himself, and the reader will have a deeper sense of substitution. Because, in the former understanding, it is used to describe others; The latter kind of understanding describes oneself hypothetically. The crows returning to their nests and the people by the bridge are all ready to rest and settle down, and I am still running around in the autumn wind. In contrast, nature is heartbroken. On the other hand, Mr. Xu's translation "A crow flies over the old tree with rotten vines" means that the crow flies over the old tree, but it doesn't point out the key point of the crow's homing. The phrase "a stream flows under a small bridge near the hut" takes the stream "flowing water" as the main body, ignoring the real subject of "others"; The translation of "a thin horse walking on the west wind ancient road" is undoubtedly in accordance with the previous understanding.

Of course, having said that, it is remarkable whether xu teacher is a master. "When the sun sets, heartbroken people are at the end of the world. The handling of this sentence is worth learning from all of us.

As usual, after talking about others, you have to show your guy.

A translation method, the original word is translated into the first person writing; One is to translate the original words into the third person writing.

Jing Tian Shah Qiu Si

Towards evening,

Going? In an old home? Trees entwined with withered vines,

Crows can fly.

By a small bridge on the stream, there lived a family.

Riding a sleigh? Horses,

Me? Galloping on the ancient post road? In the west wind

the west

The sun sets far away? From where? home

Am I?

Dead vines, old trees, homing? crow

A small bridge, a stream, a home

A fine horse, west wind, a path.

The sun sets.

Far, far? Is a broken-hearted person

* Jing Tian Sha, the title of the song, followed by this poem.

I feel that the sentence translated for the first time is too long. The second montage technique keeps the original words. Another question: Why did the first translation use twined instead of wonded? Please make up for it yourself.

After the evaluation, wait for your comments!

? Note: The picture of the article is selected from the funny work "Old Tree Crow" # Country Life of Fudge.com.. Thank you!