Decoding the core bad story "fear of being abandoned"

If the child doesn't listen, the mother will scare the child and say, "If you don't listen, I'll throw you outside to feed the wolf!" " "Hearing this, the wolf waited outside the window all night, and the mother didn't throw the child out. The wolf thought, why can't this man keep his promise?

This is a joke, and it is also the reality that parents and teachers use fear to control their children and achieve their goals.

I grew up in a single-parent family, and my mother's way of controlling me was "If you don't listen, throw you at grandma's house, and we don't want you." Grandma and dad don't like girls for a long time, and they won't want me. So I am full of fear of being abandoned and try to live a obedient and well-behaved life.

At first, it was "don't listen, don't want you". Slowly, I added "don't want you if you don't do well" in my life.

In this fear, I live with fear and depression. I dare not express myself or brush my face with others. Even if you have different opinions, you dare not express them and suppress yourself. Over time, it has become a stew pot.

Fear-depression-brewing-explosion

This process has caused my reality to be like this. After a period of calm, it is an explosive situation. It has terrible consequences for your body, mind and interpersonal relationship.

Another derivative consequence is that because they are too afraid of being abandoned in a relationship, they often give up this relationship first and end it on their own initiative to avoid pain. If there is something unpleasant in a friend's relationship, or if the other person's performance makes me disgusted, I will no longer contact this person actively. There is something wrong with marriage. I also mentioned divorce, and my job was particularly boring. If I hadn't known that I couldn't find such a stable job after resigning with my education, I would have resigned long ago. The boss who worked in the teacher's environment for a while finally resigned. This model is probably "give up if something goes wrong". Now that the accident is over, the other party will give up on me. I might as well give up on my own initiative, which is more natural and unrestrained. Many things fall by the wayside. I always thought it was my weak willpower. I didn't expect such a bad story and recognition in energy.

Cracks:

1. Will they really abandon me?

No, like the joke at the beginning, that's how they make me feel scared and obedient. Is to scare children. My family still loves me, but they have their own linear logic. They thought the easiest way to control children was to scare them, so they did. I used to scare children when I was impetuous myself! Growing up, I was not always so obedient. Occasionally, when I am naughty, they just criticize me. No, you really don't want me!

Second, am I still a baby who can't live without being abandoned?

Of course not! I have been an adult for a long time. Now, I work for myself to earn money, and my friends around me are also managed when I grow up. A few years ago, I left my long-term dependence on marriage, which was very painful. Didn't they all come over? I am confident that even if I erase everything now and make everything zero, I can make a comeback. Because of the law of attraction, I know that the field will never die. If you keep a rich magnetic field, everything will come back and get better and better!