The funniest sentence laughs you to death

1, I am willing to donate all teachers to fight against Japan. Learning is a trivial matter, but patriotism is important.

I hate two kinds of people the most! One is racist, one is black and the third is illiterate!

3. Qi Liuhai is a cute girl, Xie Liuhai is a royal sister, the middle is a queen, and short hair is a buddy.

It doesn't matter without Lori's face, but do you dare to have a man's heart?

6, reform and opening up, my weight is rubbing on the ground.

7. Wukong, bring the Zijin alms bowl and chopsticks to the teacher. Jason Wu, go to the kitchen and see if Bajie is cooked.

8. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them-

9. I said I was a filter, and everything in my mouth was bleached! Understand?

10, the wind blows and the water cools, and the strong man beats the dog, which is gone forever.

1 1. Some predestinations end at the beginning, just like premature ejaculation.

12. Teachers always like to say: Students, please look at me.

13, I have to admire my female friend for wearing shorts in such a cold day.

14, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but that I am invisible. You are online, but you are online and I am invisible.

15, I can't find it anywhere. I'm still lamenting the small waist. Excess hatred, a suit of fat #

16, everyone has a dream, but the way of dreaming is different.

17, some boys always think that girls are violent, but in fact they all owe them.

18, I can bear hardships very much. Think about it, I can only do the first four words.

19. My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

20. I am not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I am afraid to open the lid and have another bottle.

2 1. Would the old lady in front please stop combing her hair? I want to sing like snow.

22. It is raining cats and dogs. Who will hold up an umbrella for me by my side? When he is Xu Xian, I will be calm.

23. If I can choose for myself in the afterlife, I would like to make a quilt to overwhelm the whole world.

24. The terrible thing is that there is no opponent like God. But have the same teammates.

25, it's good to have a handsome guy look at it more, thinking it's not as good as my boys.

Forgiving him is God's business. All I can do is send him to God.

Don't talk to me about life, you are not born.

28. I've always wanted to become a monk, but I can't let go of one thing. -No girlfriend yet.

29. Let me know the "temptation to go home" at school and the "temptation to go to school" at home.

30. It is said that life is like a play, and play is like life. Then just sing a play ~

3 1, I didn't know until the beginning of school: the farthest distance in the world is Monday to Friday.

32. I'm losing weight, but I'm not dieting or exercising. I use my brain-I will lose weight.

33. The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old together while I am still young.

34. I am really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.

I will be an antique in 50 years, so you should collect me now.

36. When I was a child, I thought bleeding was a serious matter. Whether it hurts or not, I cried first.

37. Is it a handsome guy? Just a crew cut. Whether it's a beauty or not, you'll know when you take off your makeup.

38. Women tend to buy beautiful clothes to attract men, while men tend to like naked women.

39. If there is regret medicine in the world, I will say: Boss, give me a box.

40. Look at a temple from a distance, and then look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.

4 1, actually I only listen to the melody in English songs! What does he mean by singing! Don't care at all.

42. I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.

43. I won't watch you jump into the fire pit. I close my eyes.

44. Without magic, there would be no Buddha. I know I am a demon, so I will help you become a Buddha.

If I had sleep, cigarettes, family and friends, I wouldn't die.

46. What is the Tang Priest riding? Wukong is a cloud. Bajie loves Xiaoyue Yue, and Friar Sand pretends to be Brother Sharp.

47. If you are well, it will be sunny. If you are not well, it will rain every day.

48. Ideals are like underwear. You should have them. But you can't prove it to everyone.

49. "Your sister" is a good girl and has shared a lot of sadness for "your mother".

50. Years later, if you get married, if I don't, tell your daughter to be careful on the way after school.

Laugh to death in one word, don't want to die.

Master, why can't I find a girlfriend?

The young man asked the master, master, why can't I find a girlfriend? The master pointed to the bucket beside him and said nothing. The young man suddenly realized: the master said that I should pack a lot of things like a bucket and be a generous person, regardless of my girlfriend? Master: I told you to give me the bucket. I'm sick of you.

I wonder if it will be washed away.

Walking in the street this afternoon, a fortune teller called me from the roadside, mysteriously. Say my fate is different! I replied: You can see my life clearly ten meters away from me, even if you are good. Then I retreated ten meters away. Just as he squinted at me, the sprinkler gave him a back.

The story ending of a mountain in Gong Yu.

The ending of the story of Yugong Yishan. Before he died, Gong Yu called his son to the bed and told him: Be sure to remember! Remember ... do your best ... do your best ... Son: Shiny! The sky is full of little stars! Dad, Bobby! You are out of tune.

Experts don't lie.

Experts said that the auditory system of crabs is in the legs, so I bought a crab for an experiment and yelled at it, and it scared away. Then I took off all his legs and yelled at him again, but this time I didn't get scared away. The experts are right!

We haven't gone in yet.

I took my girlfriend to the haunted house. She was scared by a female ghost and screamed and jumped into my arms. I said don't cry. This is the mirror at the door. We haven't gone in yet.

So secret

A rich man looked everywhere for the "secret of immortality" and spent a lot of money to finally get the original "secret of immortality". The rich man closed all the doors and windows at home, and then opened the "original", which read: "Let your parents not have you!"

Awesome! ! !

Everyone in the group of dog friends started chatting. A man said that my dog was always biting my hand, and it was still biting happily, but he wouldn't listen. Everyone agrees that their dogs are the same and helpless. Then a sister said, "My dog bit my hand before, so I put my hand in its throat, dug its throat and vomited it." This thing never bit my hand again. "Everyone praised this fierce woman in an instant!

Does anyone drink liquor?

I remember a class reunion, where men and women sat on a big table, and everyone ordered 1 bottle of beer according to their usual habits. At this time, a second-rate children's shoe asked everyone, "Does anyone drink white?" Everybody shake their heads! Just when everyone thought this guy was too manly, he was a man! The goods shouted, "Waiter, give me a bottle of nutrition express."

The excavator dug into the moon.

Teacher: Why is the surface of the moon uneven? Xiaoming: Because Chang 'e is learning excavators! ! Teacher: Get out!

There are more green hills across the street!

A scholar went to buy wine in the morning, and the hotel owner was afraid that his wife would not have time to mix water into the wine, so he asked his wife, "Add geometry next to the western word." The wife replied, "The north has made up." The scholar was angry: "Don't buy Victor King if you have money." Going out to the opposite hotel to buy wine, the boss smiled and said, "There are many mountains and greeneries opposite!" "

A foreigner needs to find a better hotel.

When a foreigner wants to find a better hotel, he asks passers-by. Someone told him, "It's all the same. If you walk into this house, you will regret not going to another one. "

Because school is about to start.

This month is a ghost month. Many people have a cold and fever, many people have insomnia, many people are crying, and many people are under greater pressure than other months because of the upcoming school term.

What are the natural enemies of aphids?

In class today, the teacher was talking about insects, and then asked us, "Students, what are the natural enemies of aphids?" Our class replied: "toothbrush!" "

The funniest sentence

1, the place where a person cares more is the place where he feels most inferior.

I don't want to hit you either. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run in the street like this, you will be easily hit.

Someone challenged me to say: Bring it on. I didn't answer, but ran away and knocked him down with Monday morning quarterback.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

If I don't beat you, I will turn against you …

6, the wind is rustling and the water is cool, and the strong man does not stop diarrhea!

7. I caught a frog and put it in the water to learn' breaststroke' with the frog. I learned it in a few days! I caught another dog and threw it into the water. I learned to' plane the dog' in a few days! I caught another sheep and put it in the water to learn backstroke. A few days later, the sheep died! Suddenly one day when I wanted to learn butterfly stroke, my father was scared away!

8. How far a person can go depends on who he walks with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he is with.

9. After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium and burn them all to ashes. You have a pile, I have a pile, no one knows who it is, and they all have to be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

10. In Africa, when the gazelle wakes up every morning, it knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be eaten. When the lion wakes up every morning, he knows that he must catch up with the slowest gazelle, or he will be hungry.

1 1. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

12, want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

13, it's really not as good as a red envelope, and feelings are just sexual needs.

14, once you learn to break the jar and break the fall, you will find the world suddenly enlightened.

15, do things when awake, read books when confused, and sleep when angry.

16, knowing what you can do shows that you are growing; Knowing what you can't do shows that you are maturing.

17, I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people, one is very beautiful and the other is you.

18, the biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

19. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

20. Youth is like mahjong. You either shoot or touch yourself. How many otaku and rotten women have been counted, and how many institutions have been counted, just to enjoy the moment of being knocked down.

2 1 and 20xx years let me down, because I thought 20xx would be the end of the world, so I donated all my possessions to others …

22. Happiness is a comparative level. You have to have something at the bottom to feel it.

23. Take other people's road and leave others with no way out.

24. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

25. Fairy Descending tells the story of Yong Dong riding a fairy!

26. One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty. ...

27. No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

28. There are two things in this world that can change people. One is time and the other is pain.

29. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

30. I am a bird. I can't fly high because the cage is too high!

3 1. When you grow up, marry Tang Yan to be your husband. Fight if you can, or eat him if you can't.

32.death Whether you are a lion or a gazelle, you'd better start running when the sun rises.

I want to be an angry bird and hit those pigs.

34. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

35. Resist breast enhancement surgery and don't pollute the last safe milk source!

Eight years ago, I got into the bad habit of smoking and a roommate got into the good habit of drinking milk. Now, I am alive and well, and my roommate is dead. Because in China, cigarettes have no tobacco, and milk is poison.

I don't know whether people will go to heaven or hell after death. I'm going to the crematorium anyway!

38. I am really not handsome! I'm more handsome than a cricket!

39. I am not an ordinary person, so I don't speak Mandarin.

40. When an awesome person like me wants to find someone to admire, I look in the mirror.

4 1, if you don't consider the height, I am a handsome guy below the neck!

42. The food in the canteen is terrible, but after eating the food cooked by my wife, I decided to continue eating in the canteen!

43. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

44. When I was having dinner with my friend, my friend gave me a bullwhip and said that I could make up for what I had eaten. I suddenly realized, looked back at my ass and said sadly, "I ate too much chicken ass when I was a child!" " "

Sometimes, when waiting in line for meals in the canteen, the greatest comfort is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people waiting behind.

46. Stand higher and pee farther.

47. It's hard to be single, and it's even harder to be single for a long time. I saw a sow yesterday, and I felt very beautiful.

48. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card …

49. The minimum goal of a college student: a peasant woman, a mountain spring and a little field!

50. I really don't know whether the current game is for people or for people.

5 1, we are like two parallel lines that can never intersect, but one day the parallel lines will bend.

52. Clouds in the sky really deform. They will become type n and type b!

53, don't think you are Wu Dalang, just think that Yao Ming was made by two people.

54. China has the largest legal profiteering association, Deyun Society.

A funny sentence is especially funny, the most negative and funny sentence.

A funny sentence, especially funny, especially excellent.

1. Love is a gamble. You bet on giving up. If you win, it means you love deeply enough. If you lose, it means that the other person doesn't love you enough.

2. True love is always short-lived, while lying love is always long.

I will wait for you until I prove that you and her will be together for life.

Love (gambler) is doomed to lose for life.

If the memory is only one second, I hope it is a hug moment.

6. I missed disobedience and ran out by myself

7. Some people never forget. Some injuries have never healed. Some dreams never wake up. Some words have never been said.

8. Love can be combustible or lasting, but you can never have the happiness and pain of love at the same time.

9. I asked Fotuo what love is. Buddha said, alas! like

10. It is said that the ratio between men and women is unbalanced, and more boys will become bachelors, but why haven't handsome guys come after me in droves?

1 1. The so-called loneliness is to live with someone you can't dig out any more.

A funny sentence is especially funny.

1. Help if you are in trouble, and help if you are not.

If you can't tolerate me, it means you are either too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.

Everything will be fine, all shall be well, jack shall have Jill, but no lover has heatstroke in summer.

Without you, the earth is still turning and the heart is still beating.

If one day you leave me, I will stick to you like chewing gum.

6. People who love me, please continue. People who hate me, don't give up

7. If you choose to leave, never look back. Finally, we are old and dead.

8. I want to be your only one. I can't copy or paste.

9. If you add me out of curiosity, don't play with fire.

10. Even if you are already taken, I will replace another flower with another.

1 1. I'm going to put you aside to dry and get it back.

12. The red rose fell to the ground and became your wedding dress in heaven.

13. A good ending is good for the rich and good for the poor.

14. I went too far in love and saw through all the scenery.

15. If you can't see me one day, I may come to see you at night.

A funny sentence is especially funny.

1. In addition to beauty, there is also a shrew mentality. It seems that you love such people very much.

2. The person I love, I am willing to spend my whole life tasting all the joys and sorrows you have given me.

It takes no effort to really forget.

I fucking love you, but you fucking ignore me.

You have the right to hurt me, but I have no obligation to be hurt by you.

Please don't show up when I'm eating. I'm afraid I'll throw up in your face.

There will be light in your world, because the sun in my memory protects you.

8. I want to be the tooth in your mouth in my next life, because if I hurt you, it will hurt you.

9. That man dares to say that he is pure. Look at your eyes, you will steal turbidity.

10. Superman wears briefs stably, which is why he flies so high.

1 1. My dream is to think in my dream.

12. If you bully the poor monk, the poor monk will lose face to God.

13. A nearsighted person looks at you from a distance as a beauty, but it turns out to be a diaosi.

14. Don't push me, or my greatness will be out of control.

15. Don't think that just because you look like a wolf, I can treat you as a big pervert.

16. The sky is falling. Hold on, I'll find a stick.

17. Men and women quarrel. Men are like pistols and women are like machine guns.

18. Do you understand the feeling that wolves fall in love with sheep? That's just to eat its meat.