Have you ever heard those sad jokes?

The mother picked up her daughter from the kindergarten and asked on the way home: "What English did the teacher teach today?" The daughter said: "Big Sprite." The mother was puzzled and went to the kindergarten the next day to ask Teacher, the teacher said: "The capital B I taught yesterday...

The person who said he would never leave me has already left. The person who said he will always love me is holding hands with me. The person who said he would wait for me forever left with another person. The person who said I would be a bachelor for the rest of my life may be the only one whose prediction has come true...

I drove to a supermarket and stopped in front of it. The first stop was crooked, and the second stop was still not straight. Finally, I parked it properly. I was secretly rejoicing when the security guard came over and said politely: "You parked between two parking spaces. "I poured it down again. The third time it was crooked, and the fourth time it was still crooked. I couldn't fall into place no matter what. I had no choice but to get out of the car and begged the security guard: "Please help me pour it down. I really can't stop it." "

My neighbor is a 90-year-old man who rides his bicycle to the nursing home on the beach every day. I happened to meet him when I was out that day and asked: "You ride your bicycle there every day. Is there anything fun there? ? He replied while pushing the bicycle: "There are many young and single women in their seventies and eighties!" "

Hearing that the hen had given birth, the neighbors came to visit one after another. I don't know who said, "The baby looks like you." The hen suddenly became furious, "It looks like an egg!"

I hugged my girlfriend's waist, looked calm, and after thinking for a long time, I turned to ask her, "My dear, have my hands become shorter recently?" ”

There are three things that I have never lost after getting them. They are: belly, bags under the eyes and wrinkles.

A song is often the music you listen to when you are happy, and music when you are sad. It’s time to listen to the lyrics!

I drank too much last night and my wife was not at home, so she asked my daughter to pour me a glass of sugar water to relieve my hangover. My daughter asked, “Can any sugar be used? "I said yes. A few minutes later, I saw my daughter tremblingly bringing a glass of water. There were a few pieces of chewing gum floating on it...