Give me a hilarious joke. Let's go

There are six rich people, a Japanese, a Russian, a French, a Norwegian, a German and an American.

They go shopping together. Being rich, they have little to buy. Only those strange things can attract their attention. It happened that the mall was hyping the art toilet that had just entered, and all six rich people stopped to watch it.

After reading it for a while, one of them suggested, "This novel toilet is really unusual. How about buying one to try? " Because everyone is rich, and no one wants to fall behind, everyone is going to buy one.

The Japanese love cleanliness, so they bought a "super sanitary toilet"; Russians like things with texture, so they bought a "granite toilet"; The French value art, so they bought a "painted toilet"; Norwegians like wood products, so they bought a "pure wooden toilet"; Germans advocate high technology, so they bought a "computer-controlled toilet"; Americans pay more attention to freedom and relaxation, so they bought a "music toilet".

Six people happily carried the toilet home.

A month later, six people got together again at a business meeting. In the process of chatting, the topic unconsciously turned to the toilet they bought last time.

The Japanese were filled with indignation and spoke first: "I returned the damn super sanitary toilet." The instructions say that the toilet will be automatically disinfected after each use, and the toilet seat will be covered with plastic film and sprayed with the words "disinfected, please feel free to use". But now the program is all messed up. Before I stood up, it began to spray plastic film on my ass! "

The Russian then complained: "Damn granite toilet, I also returned it. These people polished the granite so smoothly that they slipped and fell several times as soon as they sat on it. It's inconvenient, but their asses are bruised. "

Don't want to lag behind, the Frenchman scolded, "I also returned the damn painted toilet, and the printing quality of painted toilet is too poor." Always fading, and now the pictures on the toilet seat are running! " "

The Norwegian also flew into a rage: "damn wooden toilet, I also returned it!" What qualities? I don't know if it was inspected before leaving the factory. I also said that it is completely managed according to ISO9000. It's convenient for me to gather together, it's all wood residue! "

The Germans couldn't bear it at this moment: "The damn computer completely controls the toilet, and I want it back! I don't know what operating system to use, and it always crashes. Halfway through my speech, it began to shout:' Now the toilet computer crashed, please put on your pants and stand up, cover the toilet seat, cover the toilet seat, then open the toilet seat, open the toilet seat, then take off your pants and sit down again, and the toilet computer can be restarted. Thank you. The telephone number for technical support is 12345678. "Hum!"

Finally, it was the American's turn. He said angrily, "Damn music toilet, I can't do it unless I return it!" " It was originally said that it has 3000 songs, which can be played randomly at your convenience. As a result, nine times out of ten, the same song-home of the brave was played, which made me have to lift my pants and stand up to salute as soon as I sat down! "

The second story is eating instant noodles and dying.

My brother doesn't like my mother's cooking very much, but he likes instant noodles. One day, my mother stopped cooking and my brother wanted to make instant noodles again. My mother scolded him: "You won't go out to buy lunch without your mother cooking, will you?" Eating instant noodles is not nutritious! ! "My brother said," I just like to eat, so what! """Alas ... Mom tells you that instant noodles are really not a good thing. There is a young lady in your father's company who saves all her money and sends it home, so she eats instant noodles at noon in the morning and at night. She ate instant noodles every day and died three months later! "Brother (frightened to disgrace):" Really? " "How could mom lie to you?" "Really, how did she die?" "... well, ... I bought instant noodles and had an accident ..."

The third story car accident

When I was in high school, there was a thrilling scene in the fruit and vegetable market in front of Huazhong Bridge ... Because the fruit and vegetable market was the dividing point of many cars, and when it was time to get off work, the bus we took was packed, and the people standing in front of the car, including their faces, clung to the door like geckos. After the driver and others got on the bus, they started to set off. Because they were going to get on the bridge, he kept stepping on the accelerator to speed up until he found an old woman crossing the road. I saw the old woman lying on the road in front of the car, motionless, next to a pile of intestines flowing out and began to ooze blood ... Some people began to scream ... Some were speechless, while the driver was pale and afraid to go down. When the driver in the car was in a daze, a strange thing happened ... Suddenly, the old woman stood up and took out a bottle of beer.

No.4 story bento

Tell you a ghost story, it's horrible! On a silent moonlit night, a traveler passing through the mountains unfortunately got lost. Just when he was hungry and cold, he finally found a thatched cottage far ahead. He rushed forward happily, knocked on the door and shouted, "Hello?" Then an old woman came out to open the door. After the traveler explained his purpose, the old woman kindly gave the traveler a box of lunch and promised to stay at the old woman's house temporarily that night. The next morning, the traveler woke up and was surprised to find that there was no thatched cottage around, so he slept on the ground. Not to mention any old woman, but the traveler is not afraid. He is still very grateful to the old woman and thinks that's it. He came to help the poor. So he bowed in place and left with gratitude. After a long journey, he finally returned to the village. After he came back, he told the story to everyone. After a long time, someone finally said, "The grandmother you mentioned, she died three years ago. Hearing this, Monkey's heart went dark, and suddenly he felt a sharp pain and shouted, "Oh, no!

The seventh floor barracks. Damn it.

My brother was a soldier in Kinmen and told me this story when he came back from vacation ... He said that there was a soldier brother who graduated from college in his company. One night, he stood guard and hurried back to the company. When he told me that he had hit a ghost, everyone asked him what the ghost looked like. He vowed, "I saw a Pikachu walking in front of me." .....