Classic short joke stories

You're out.

I met a bank manager in the street. We have a common business relationship. Every time I see him, I see him through bulletproof glass. It's really hard to see him suddenly outside. I greet him. Are you out? This guy paused, put away the smile on his face and replied coldly:? I've never been in there! ?

I regretted it afterwards and went to the bank to withdraw money the next day. I deliberately approached him and said: I didn't mean that yesterday, and he smiled: I know you are joking. ? In order to apologize, I deliberately raised my voice and said, How can you get in without taking bribes or corruption?

I made a joke.

I made a joke last Friday. I go shopping in London. I'm going to buy Christmas presents, and I also want to find some books for my college professional courses (so I'm a student). I took the early bus to London that day and bought everything just after noon. I don't like staying in London very much. It's too noisy and the traffic is too heavy. In addition, I made arrangements that night and took a taxi to Waterloo Station. To tell the truth, I can't afford a taxi, but I want to catch the 3:30 train back that day. Unfortunately, I was caught in a traffic jam. When I arrived at the station, the train had just left. I had to stay for an hour, waiting for the next bus. I bought a flag evening paper and strolled to the snack bar at the station. At this time of day, the snack bar is almost empty. I ordered a cup of coffee and a packet of biscuits and chocolate biscuits. I like this kind of biscuit very much. There were many vacant seats, so I found a window seat. I sat down and began to do the crossword puzzle published in the newspaper. I think playing this game is very interesting.

A few minutes later, a man came over and sat opposite me. This man is nothing special except that he is very tall. It can be said that he looks like a typical city businessman, wearing dark clothes and carrying a briefcase. I didn't say anything. I continued to do my crossword puzzle. Suddenly, he reached out and opened my cookie bag. He dipped a piece of coffee into his mouth. I can't believe my eyes! I was too surprised to speak. But I didn't want to make a fuss, so I decided to ignore it. I always try to avoid getting into trouble. I just took a biscuit and went back to do my crossword puzzle.

When the man took the second biscuit, I didn't look up or say anything. I pretend to be particularly interested in games. After a few minutes, I inadvertently reached for the last biscuit and glanced at the man. He is staring at me. I put the biscuit in my mouth a little nervously and decided to leave. Just as I was about to stand up and leave, the man suddenly pushed back his chair, stood up and left in a hurry. I'm relieved and I'm going to stay for two or three minutes. I finished my coffee, folded the newspaper and stood up. At this moment, I suddenly found my packet of biscuits on the table where I used to put the newspaper.

More and more like a thief.

On Sunday, I went to the bookstore to buy books by bike. When I came out to get the car, I only had the license plate in my pocket, but I couldn't find the car keys.

Aunt looked me up and down and asked? Is this your car? I said:? Sure, this is my car. That's easy to say. I've seen this kind of fraud a lot! Do you have an ID card? I took out my ID card and said, Now you should believe it, right?

Aunt took out a small notebook, copied the ID number and asked for my phone number. ? You push this car away first. If someone comes to get it again, I will have to call you. ? As soon as I heard this, I seemed to get an Amnesty. I quickly lifted the rear wheel and pushed it to the nearby garage.

The mechanic is an old man in his fifties. He also looked me up and down. Young man, rich again? I'm angry, but now I'm begging someone to unlock it, so I have to put up with it. I said:? Do me a favor, I lost my car keys! ? Grandpa gave a quick laugh and fiddled with the car lock. I stood aside and felt a fever on my face, as if I had really done something wrong.

After a while, grandpa sawed off the whole lock with a hacksaw. Ok, 10 yuan! ? What, 10? Aren't you a lion with a big mouth? Grandpa asked? Why, if you eat thick food, let me have some soup, too ? I was so angry that I dumped 10 yuan, got up and left.

On my way home, I passed a flea market. I think I should sell this old car so that I won't be angry about it any more.

I was pushing a car when I walked to the door of the market when a young man came: Dude, do you sell cars? I nodded.

The young man walked around the car, shook it a few times and said, where did you get this car? Anything else? 30 yuan, I'll take it all! ? I'm angry: what are you talking about? This is my own car! ?

He smiled: Dude, don't be silly. Did you take the lock off the car and sell it here?

teacup

Director W went to Shanxiang to inspect the work. After getting drunk, go home.

Stop. Stop, Master Jiang! Director W stopped the car halfway and scared Master Jiang. He thinks the car has run over a chicken and a puppy.

Chief, why did you stop?

Oh, I remember, I left my teacup in the mountain village.

What do you mean, director?

Excuse me, I want to trouble you, turn the car around and drive back to Shanxiang to get the teacup.

Master Jiang was taken aback. He couldn't believe his ears. He said to himself: crazy! The car went out of the mountain village for dozens of miles, all of which were rugged mountain roads. If you turn around and drive back to the mountain village to get the teacups, I wonder how many teacups you can buy with wasted gasoline money!

Director W seems to see Master Jiang's mind and enlighten him. I'm telling you, first of all, you should pay attention to one? Clear distinction between public and private? . Public is public, private is private. Public and private must be clearly defined and must not be confused. The teacup is my personal belongings. I can't sleep without it. Gasoline is public, what a waste!

Master Jiang nodded with a wry smile, shook his head again, and was ordered to turn the sleeping car around and go straight back to Shanxiang to get the teacups?

Mysterious weapon

Scientists discovered a new kind of ore and tried to crush it for research, but it could not be crushed for a long time. They went to the village and invited two farmers to smash it. As a result, they smashed someone else's sledgehammer and lost dozens of dollars to get it.

This stone is too hard! The scientists had to pack a bag and go back to the city and crush it with the powerful crusher of the scientific research institute. Unexpected? Collapse! Collapse! After a while, when the machine was turned on, everyone was shocked: the alloy sawtooth of the crusher fell to the ground and the stone was still intact.

The scientists got angry and took out the most advanced laser cutting machine to treat the ore.

After a burst of laser irradiation, everyone gathered around and saw that the lines on the surface of the ore were all smooth, but the stone itself didn't even have a crack, but it became smoother and smoother.

The scientists were dumbfounded and helpless. At this time, Xiao Zhang, who just entered the institute, asked timidly: Can I try?

Everyone was embarrassed to give up, so they said, young people have a wide range of ideas and hope is pinned on you! ?

Xiao Zhang went out with ore. Within two days, the ore was sent back to the research institute from the outside. When he opened it, it had broken into several pieces.

It's amazing! Scientists surrounded Xiao Zhang and asked him how he did it. Xiao Zhang just laughed. We dare not neglect and report to our superiors immediately.

Two days later, two mysterious figures were sent to talk to Xiao Zhang, so that Xiao Zhang must make it clear that he used what powerful weapon to break the ore, where the weapon was hidden, and who controlled it. He must be responsible for the country!

At this point, Xiao Zhang reluctantly told the truth: What a powerful weapon! My friends often ask the courier company to send me things, but none of the goods received are complete. I want to try? I didn't expect it to really work. This time I only sent the ore two blocks, and it broke into this shape. ?

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