wedding and funeral customs

People in Binxian pay attention to thick burial, and there is a saying of "burying half the family". The thicker the funeral, the filial piety of children and grandchildren can be shown. Because of excessive extravagance and huge economic burden, there is a saying that "the father is worried about his son and wife" and "the son is worried about his father's burial".

1, prefabricated coffin, early burial suit. When my parents were over 500, they began to make coffins and sew burial clothes. Wood pays attention to Chinese fir, oak, pine, cypress and jujube, and cloth pays attention to silk and satin. Craftsmen will be meticulous in carving and exquisite in craftsmanship. Styles include: three circles, four sides, vertical velvet roll cover, heavy bottom cover, brown spring planting, female carving and male carving, and painted paint. After the coffin is finished, the "cross-eye" banquet and meals at work should include delicacies, chicken, duck, fish and famous tea and wine, which mainly show the filial piety of the younger generation. "Hand in wood" is as grand as a birthday, and friends and relatives bring gifts to congratulate each other, ranging from dozens to hundreds.

Generally, there are 5-7 sets of mourning clothes, including robes and mandarin jackets for men and long skirts for women. Daughters or daughters-in-law should sew mourning clothes.

2, superstitious feng shui, choose a cemetery. After his parents died, he should immediately ask the so-called Mr. Feng Shui to choose a cemetery, where he can be king and where he can be rich and auspicious. All matters such as libation and burial are subject to Mr. Feng Shui's instructions. My uncle and her family should have seen the burial clothes before the coffin was covered.

3. Children and grandchildren cry after waking up. Parents are dying, and future generations of relatives should listen to the last words and dare not stay away. After death, they will wake up and cry until they are buried. Within seven days after death, relatives within five generations are forbidden to break into other people's homes, otherwise it will bring bad luck to others.

4. Show the obituary and prepare for the funeral. The cemetery and burial date are entirely decided by Mr. Feng Shui. The obituary was written by him, which clearly stated the date of birth and death and life story of the deceased, as well as the names of his filial sons and grandchildren within five generations, and posted it outside the gate. If there is a great-great-grandson, but there is no Dai Xiao, they will wear red gauze to show that the four generations of the deceased live under one roof and the population is prosperous.

To organize the funeral, we should first choose a general manager who has experience in organizing the funeral among relatives and friends, and invite relatives and neighbors as the guests of the host to be responsible for various logistics matters.

5, a grand condolence ceremony, banquet guests. A grand memorial service and a grand banquet for guests are called "libation", which is usually the seventh day after death. Send an obituary in advance so that relatives, friends and neighbors can make good preparations. Master kills pigs and sheep, repairs tombs, please trumpet. On the day of the big "drink", depending on the distance between relatives and friends, respect the poor and respect the rich, or offer pigs and sheep, or give accounts, or donate silk money, or worship incense paper. If it's official business, invite Hanlin, Jinshi, Juren, scholar, and even famous and official people such as princes, state officials and county magistrates of the Qing Dynasty to visit the "Lord" and "God" in person.

On the day of "drinking", there are generally "three rituals", namely, filial son, filial son and filial son are arranged in three stages, and eight worships and nine worships. During the ceremony, the dutiful son was helped by one person and wept bitterly.

6. Writing "Mingjing" shows the name of Germany. In order to compliment the deceased and climb to fame, the master, by virtue of his official rank, asked someone to give the deceased a four-character or eight-character compliment and write it on the banner with gold powder, which is called "Mingjing". It is covered with colored paper and stands outside the gate, shining.

7. Burn the paper basin and bury it. Before the coffin is buried, the eldest son will break the ash basin for burning paper. The coffin uses the official hood of the dragon bar. Spirit bearers pay attention to eight lifts, sixteen lifts, and thirty-two lifts, and they advocate. Paper fire comes first, and the mourning team of the dutiful son comes last. All the dutiful sons and grandchildren, Dai Xiao and his men and women, dressed in hemp and white cloth with a few feet pulled over their shoulders, bent down and cried with willow branches, and slowly went to the cemetery.

On the way through the coffin, neighbors put firewood in front of the door to prevent ghosts from breaking into his house and bringing bad luck.

After the coffin enters the cave, Mr. Feng Shui will put a compass on the coffin to determine its position. And put a lamp bowl and a yeast bowl on the coffin lid.

8. Bury the dead and take them home. The eldest son of the deceased held a tablet or portrait of God, accompanied by a drummer, crying while walking, calling for the soul to return to love. Walking to the door, the memorial tablet or portrait was greeted by the eldest daughter-in-law of the deceased and enshrined at home. Every meal is burned incense and paper in front of the memorial tablet or portrait of the deceased until one hundred days.

9. Carefully pursue the distance and worship for three years. The first year after the death of the old man is the first anniversary, and relatives all come to burn paper. There is generally no ceremony for the second anniversary. The third anniversary, full of clothes and filial piety. Generally speaking, guests will get a drink offering and burning paper at the grave. When he went, the trumpeter greeted the paper sacrifice, and the dutiful son followed him in a white Dai Xiao. He burned the paper in front of the grave, took off his mourning clothes and put on new clothes. At this time, the service period has expired, but after Qingming, cold food and winter solstice, he offered a paper sacrifice to the grave.

Second, marriage.

Marriage in the old days generally had the following four stages.

1, blind date. Before the formal promotion, introduce the man first, observe and understand a daughter from behind first, and then ask someone to mention it if appropriate. After meeting the woman again and again, the matchmaker said that the two sides would meet. Generally, it is the woman who comes to the man's house to see, which is called "seeing a worker". If no one objects, even if she is allowed to kiss.

2, get married and talk about the bride price. On the basis of allowing marriage, the woman wants to see the wedding on her birthday. If there is no conflict, she will propose a bride price. The bride price has changed a lot. Some people don't pay attention to the bride price. There are also those who covet the bride price. 193 1 years ago, many people had 50 taels of silver or 50 pieces, and a few people had 10 taels of silver or 30 strings of copper coins; 193 1 year later, the bride price became more and more popular, and 100 was more than silver dollars.

3. Engagement. With the consent of the two families, the engagement ceremony was rescheduled. On the day of engagement, the man brought two bottles of wine and snacks to the woman's house by the matchmaker, and made a toast to the hostess before entering the house. If the woman accepts the wine, it is already very harmonious, and then propose a toast to declare that you are done. If the woman doesn't accept the wine, she must reconsider. After receiving the wine, the hostess invited her guests to the man's house to sit at the table. The woman must give the man clothes, shoes and socks when she goes. 193 1 years ago, the woman usually went to the man's house on the day of engagement. Later, some women followed the matchmaker to the man's house. Giving gifts to each other after meeting is called "changing hands", so that the marriage can be completed.

4. Get married. Ordinary women (15 years old) and men can get married at the age of seventeen or eighteen. The bride price must be delivered to the woman's home one or two months before marriage. In rural areas, there are also women who go to the man's house to receive bride price, collectively referred to as "giving money as a gift", and then the two sides respectively carry out the following matters.

First, the man received a "Geng Tie" and made a "bureau order". Gengtie went to the government to collect it. In the early stage, it was managed by the county government office, and then it was handled by the county government education office. Its paste is similar to the current marriage certificate, and it will be abolished in 193 1 year. There are two kinds of Gankun stickers, which are filled with male and female names, ages, zodiac signs and eight characters, stamped with county seal and name stamp. At the time of posting, the man and the matchmaker charge a bunch of copper coins and then change them into silver dollars. "Playing the list" means that the man privately asks the Yin and Yang teacher to handle it. Both men and women set the wedding date according to the date of birth, so they posted a note stating how to get lucky and avoid evil, the direction of the bride getting on the sedan chair, getting off the sedan chair and entering the bridal chamber. And give it to the woman at the time of marriage according to her instructions.

Second, the woman adds a box to marry him. The day before a woman's wedding is a day of "adding boxes", and relatives and friends go home to give gifts, including clothes, washbasins, pollen, jewelry and so on. According to the intimacy of their relationship, the gifts vary in weight and thickness, and the woman holds a banquet. There are two kinds of compensation for marriage: one is that the man gives half and the woman adds half; One is the woman's voluntary compensation. There are also different amounts of "bride price", which the man adds up according to the number and belongs to the bride.

Third, the man gets married and the woman gives it away. On the morning of the wedding, the man will get married with a drum sedan chair. Send a "girl-welcoming" person to accompany a boy, catch a hen (according to the ancient system, it should be a sheep, and later it was changed into a chicken, which also represents good luck), carry a red felt bag, which contains a new set of "year-old steamed stuffed bun" (one year old), Geng stickers and a list, and also bring a pack of salt and a pack of mugwort (meaning to wish the newlyweds good luck and love). Leave the mugwort leaves and salt, add one slice each, put them together, put them in the rice bowl and take them to the husband's family. When the bride leaves the house and cries, she refuses to get on the sedan chair by herself, so her uncle or elder carries it. The sedan chair arrived at the man's door and set off firecrackers. Two women were helped down from the sedan chair. The bride has a red cloth over her head. When entering the door, the woman who picked up the girl was carrying a string of copper coins on her shoulder, a small bucket of grain in her right hand and a pot of water or vinegar in her left hand, and then led her onto the paved red carpet. The other man took a rose full of grass knots and bonus pieces of paper and kept throwing it at the bride, singing while scattering it. What "loose grass, loose grass, two lovers, grow old together for a hundred years, have a doll running all over the yard" and so on. After entering the bridal chamber, they took a short break and began to "worship heaven and earth". The married couple handed in a post and held a "class generation" ceremony. After the ceremony, I sat down to eat. When the woman's guests leave, the man has to pay the "red stamp" of the dowry.

Fourth, guests add joy, make trouble in the bridal chamber and wipe their faces. On their wedding night, relatives, friends and the groom's colleagues came to congratulate them on playing house. There are many tricks, telling jokes, performing actions, innovative and difficult topics, which make the newlyweds quite embarrassed, but they are very happy. The next day, the guests came to thank them, and the groom went out to pay his respects. The bride went into the kitchen to perform cooking. Invite the bride's family to have soup in the morning, but the bride's parents won't go. Before the luncheon, all the guests were present, and the newlyweds kowtowed to the guests one by one and asked the recipients to give money and goods. After the banquet, the artist took advantage of the surprise of the groom's parents and drew a picture on his face, which made people laugh. On the third day, the bride "came back", and the bride's family came to pick her up and sent her back in the afternoon, but for ten days, the newlyweds could not be separated.